by Carol Oates
If she’d said something to cause this… Damn Lofi and her constant meddling, always believing she knew better than everyone else did.
“Nothing. I don’t know… She began telling me about a dream, and then she went quiet and started shivering. Then you came in.” Lofi stepped back, a vague panic in her rounded eyes.
Brie came closer and slipped her hand into Lofi’s.
“Do something,” Brie pleaded as Candra continued to squirm and twist in Sebastian’s arms.
“It’s not a dream.” All eyes turned toward Draven when he spoke. He locked Sebastian in a meaningful glare, apparently attempting to convey something he didn’t want to say out loud. “Sebastian, remember what I told you about Payne.”
It wasn’t as if he and Sebastian had shared many cozy chats over the years, but they had spoken on a few occasions in private over the course of recent events. The most significant being right before the ball when Draven had revealed what he’d learned about the war in heaven and Payne’s visions.
Tension shot through Sebastian, and his shoulders locked rigid. A vision…She’s trapped in some kind of vision.
“What?” Brie asked, frustrated and sidling nearer, pulling Lofi with her. “What aren’t you telling us?”
Brie was no fool. Until then, she’d felt they had shared a connection, almost like twins but deeper. They’d possessed an ability to sense each other, and although falling had severed that connection, he knew she could tell he was keeping secrets.
Sebastian’s stomach tumbled as he wondered exactly how he was supposed to interrupt a vision and what it would do to Candra if he did. She was more than their weapon—she had become his hope. Her face drained of color, and her heart galloped below where he held her hands close to her chest.
He looked up, hoping someone would hold the key to this new mystery. One more event in a never-ending chain of events that bound them together, and he had yet to unravel it all. Ananchel was the only one missing. Of course she didn’t care what happened to Candra; she probably resented her for taking her precious Draven’s attention away. None of them, not even Draven, showed any indication that they knew what to do.
With barely a seconds’ notice, Sebastian’s wings burst forth through his skin. Their tremendous weight instantly shifted his center of gravity, and his body compensated for it just as quickly. He couldn’t help their appearance; it was controlled by force of will, and strong emotions made that rocky at best. Right now, he didn’t have the desire or the patience to hide his true nature. Their cumbersome size in the small room didn’t help him in trying to maneuver. The gold-tipped, white feathers snagged on one of the metal rod door handles as he pulled them in behind him. The feather ripped away cleanly but stung as sharp as lemon juice over a deep paper cut. Sebastian hissed out a shrill breath but made no other reaction. He could handle a little pain.
It couldn’t have been more than a minute since Lofi had called out for Brie. In Sebastian’s bewildered state, time seemed to stretch out as if it were a malleable element and not something fixed and unbendable. Candra’s entire body jerked violently in the way someone might wake from a dream of falling. Her eyes blinked open but remained unfocused. The color returned to her face with vengeance, flushing her cheeks dark pink.
“No, no, let me go,” she raged, fighting him with every ounce of strength she possessed.
Draven pushed through Brie and Lofi and knelt down at the other side of her. He restrained her shoulders lightly without saying a word. Sebastian met his eyes for a fraction of a second and had to swallow back the queasiness brought on by what he saw: the tautness of Draven’s jaw, the narrowed gaze, harsh breath, and the tendons straining in his neck…
“Let her go,” Brie wailed, breaking into his thoughts.
Gabe hushed her gently.
“Candra.” Sebastian kept his tone soft in the hope that a calm, unthreatening voice would bring her around faster. “Please, try to relax.”
It took several minutes, but eventually, she sagged, limp as a rag doll. Sebastian released her wrists and brushed the hair away from her damp face. Sweat and tears mingled on her skin. It didn’t escape Sebastian’s attention when Draven kept his hands on her shoulders just a beat longer than necessary before he retreated back behind the others. Nor did he miss that Draven had been able to remain composed and keep his wings hidden, the calm center in the midst of a raging storm.
The worst part was that Draven genuinely cared; Sebastian had glimpsed it in his eyes. It was easier to believe Draven wanted her because he was playing out some other agenda, or because he saw her as a conquest, a way to get something over on him. However, Sebastian recognized himself in Draven during that one strained moment and realized Draven had released Candra from their agreement, but he had far from given up on her.
Candra curled into his chest, burying her tear-streaked face and sobbing into his shoulder. Her fingers twisted into his shirt, trying to get closer, though there was no space between them. Brie dropped down to the ground and threaded her fingers through Candra’s hair.
“What happened, Candra…sweetheart?”
The only response was another gurgled sob that sounded a little like, “Ivy.”
Brie bit her lip and frowned. The two lines etched between her eyebrows intensified. Sebastian noted that her fingers were thinner than he ever remembered and the skin was beginning to loosen. She seemed so human…so frail and insubstantial. His eyes trailed over the young woman in his arms. It was as if an iron vise locked around his internal organs and squeezed. All his life experience, and nothing had prepared him for how one grief-stricken girl could make his heart stop dead.
“I don’t care who it is, but somebody needs to start talking,” Gabe stated flatly.
Lofi crossed her arms over her chest, darting her eyes accusingly between Sebastian and Draven. The inhospitable atmosphere in the room thickened unbearably.
Candra sucked in a deep shuddering gasp of air and weakly pushed away from Sebastian. He didn’t notice that he was holding his breath, waiting for her to come round, until it forced past his lips and his lungs burned.
“What’s going on?” Her voice wobbled.
Relief sung though his body, and Sebastian grinned, aware he looked every inch the love-struck teen…well, apart from the wings folded in against his back. At least now he could concentrate on hiding them again. A bizarre thought floated through his mind: he wished to rid himself of them forever. “Why don’t you tell us?”
She looked around unsteadily and seemed to notice for the first time that they were on the floor. Her eyes flicked over his shoulder. Candra pressed her lips together, and all of a sudden, she scrambled to her feet.
“Oh, crap, what did I do?” Her voice appeared steadier, although she leaned on Sebastian to stand, swiping at her tears with the back of her hands.
She straightened her clothes as the others exchanged worried glances.
“We were talking, and then…” Lofi began, but stalled because she clearly had no explanation to offer.
“I fell asleep,” Candra added, but it sounded more like a question. Her mouth opened to say something else and then closed again. She raked her hair back from her face and smiled uncomfortably. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” Draven answered.
Sebastian inclined his head and raised an eyebrow. Did he expect them to ignore that she practically had a fit right there on the kitchen floor a moment ago? He rubbed his fingers across his cheek and looked down at the crimson stain on the tips.
Candra noticed out of the corner of her eye and did a double take before swinging around to him, aghast. “What happened to your face?”
“Nothing.” He flattened his palm against his cheek. The alarm in her expression was worse than a few cuts that would heal soon enough.
“Nothing?” Candra parroted and snatched at his hand.
She held it away to inspect the wound. “Nothing?” she asked again, flashing a steely, furious scowl at Draven. �
�This is not ‘nothing.’ This is definitely something.”
Draven arched his eyebrows and shrugged in mock innocence, leaving Sebastian to concede that he had the act down to an art. No wonder manipulation came as second nature to him.
When no one else seemed anxious to offer an explanation, Candra returned her attention to his face and then his hand, still coated in syrupy blood. The sickly copper scent wafted upward, and Candra gagged at the sight of her torn and bloodied fingernails.
“I did this,” she whispered to herself.
Sebastian jerked his hand back and cleaned his fingers on his thigh. It was a ridiculous attempt to get rid of the evidence since he couldn’t hide the gashes on his face or the corresponding bloodied fingers she glowered at.
“An accident,” he assured her. “I surprised you.”
She stood immobile, staring at him with a gaping mouth. Her heart beat so loud, he practically felt his own blood coursing to match it. Brie reached out for her, but Candra flinched away and vomited into the sink. Everyone in the room stopped breathing as she wretched over and over, emptying her stomach of its meager contents. Brie rubbed her back. Sebastian stood by helpless, wondering for the millionth time how they were going to get out of this mess. His fingers twitched with longing to be the one supporting Candra. It almost crushed him to hang back and allow Brie to take over.
She remained folded over the sink, although Brie gently encouraged her to move back slightly so she could run the tap.
“What if I’d really hurt you? What if I’d killed you?” she whispered into the porcelain.
“It’s only a few scratches,” Brie assured her, holding a damp cloth against Candra’s head.
“We don’t know what I am, what I can do…I want my life back.”
Sebastian pushed his hand into his pocket and smoothed his thumb over the small curleax, a habit he found reassuring. He bit his tongue, ignoring when Draven cleared his throat in an obvious attempt to get his attention. Sebastian knew with savage clarity what he wanted to say; he also knew it was exactly the wrong thing to say. He wanted to impress upon Candra that this was her life now. There was no going back for any of them, only forward. He wouldn’t have spared her the cruel honesty a few weeks previous, grief or no grief. He squeezed the stone, concentrating on keeping his mouth shut, unsure if he was maturing or going soft.
Strangely, it was Draven who stepped in to save him from Lofi’s and Gabe’s penetrating scrutiny and from making a complete ass of himself.
“This was a mistake. She’s clearly worn out. Sebastian, maybe you should take Candra to your home and allow her to rest. I will talk to the others.”
Again, Sebastian had to hold his words; they tasted like vinegar on his tongue. That sounded dangerously close to orders coming from Draven. He leapt to his feet, laboring to keep his wings contained from view, although his nerve endings pulsed with the effort. His spine straightened, bringing him to his full height, and his chin lifted defiantly. Hot anger sizzled precariously under his cool exterior, but he managed to draw a line at speaking his mind. What good would it do for Candra? Right now, she had to be his main consideration. Everything hung in the balance with her.
“Don’t talk about me as if I’m not here.” Candra didn’t move her head. Her voice echoed the anger and frustration Sebastian felt, as if she was a mirror bouncing it back to him. “And don’t act as if I’m not as much a part of this as any of you.”
“He didn’t mean—” Brie blustered.
Sebastian couldn’t see Candra’s expression from where he stood, but when she faced Brie’s direction, it was enough to cut her off.
“I’m tired. I just fell asleep, and I had a nightmare. People have them every day.”
Sebastian wasn’t sure if she wanted to convince them or herself. No one argued with her when she turned to confront them with narrowed eyes in anticipation of the challenge.
“Okay, then.” She sighed and visibly relaxed. Physically, Candra was a mess. Her clothes and hair were rumpled. Dark smudges of black seeped out from under her swollen eyes and streaked down her cheeks. Her skin was blotchy down her neck all the way to where her shirt opened to a V above her breasts. “This is what we are going to do. I am going to go with Sebastian because I don’t want to be here right now. Draven,” she addressed him directly, “I expect you to tell Brie, Gabe, and Lofi everything you know.”
He nodded. It could have been a bow; Sebastian wasn’t sure. Showing Candra a Watcher mark of respect was another indication of how highly Draven regarded her.
“Sebastian!”
Distracted by his jealous thoughts, he’d missed Candra speaking to him. His focus had been on the curve at the corner of Draven’s mouth tweaking upward into a smirk. Sebastian blinked and angled his body away.
“I expect the same from you. It’s the only way I’m leaving here,” Candra warned, her eyes fixated on the congealing cuts on his face. Her fingers trembled by her side.
He’d been through far worse injuries, although she couldn’t have known that. He nodded. He would have agreed to anything at that point to get her away from Draven, even telling the truth, something he’d accepted he would still grapple with when the time came. Lies and omissions were so much easier. Truth took courage and conviction. Fabrications only required a decent memory to keep track of them. He was more at ease with deceit, always had been. People generally presumed lying to loved ones was a bad thing. Sebastian didn’t hold with that theory. At times, he found honor in deception, if the lie kept those around him alive and safe.
Chapter Six
CANDRA AWOKE FROM ANOTHER OF THE DREAMS that haunted her more and more often recently, the one where the city burned before her eyes. It always began the same, with her walking between the sky-scraping, mirror-fronted buildings of Eighth Street. It always ended the same, too, with the destruction of everything she knew. Except this time, it wasn’t the same as all the others. This time, she wasn’t alone. There was a presence with her as flames consumed the buildings, the earth shook and broke apart, and terrifying storms closed in. The presence felt so real…and close.
The room was dark, but the familiar scent of warm spices with the lightest undertone of cigarettes reminded her she was in Sebastian’s bed. Candra snuggled further into the down comforter and inhaled. Still weary and not fully awake, it took a moment for her to register that he wasn’t there with her. It took another moment for her to remember the events of the day. She heard scuffling nearby, someone moving around in the dark.
Without giving any warning, Candra reached over and turned on the lamp sitting on the floor beside the bed. The room suddenly flooded with light so bright, she had to blink a couple of times before she could focus on Sebastian pulling a T-shirt over his head. His wings were gone for now…hidden, leaving behind only a smooth expanse of tanned skin, wide shoulders, and a tapered waist. The average person’s eyes wouldn’t notice where his musculature and skeletal structure differed from any other guy’s. A human wouldn’t even be able to feel where the bone thickened to support the immense weight of his wings. Humans couldn’t see or touch angel wings at all. The blood coursing through her veins allowed her to see what they couldn’t.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“In that case, try not moving around like an elephant. You might break less stuff that way too.” Candra forced each word out through her parched throat, thinking of her trashed bedroom. If she never cried again, it would be too soon.
He pulled the shirt down and reached into the ornate freestanding wardrobe, retrieving a pair of boots. Candra didn’t hear his sigh, but she saw it in the familiar way his shoulders rose and fell stiffly.
“Please don’t do that,” he said.
“Do what?” she asked, curling her legs up and tugging the comforter around her face to hide her eyes. She hadn’t taken her blouse off before she’d fallen asleep and could think of nothing she wanted less than to be twisted up in the wretched thing.
&nbs
p; “You’re trying to pick a fight with me instead of telling me what you’re thinking.”
Bare feet softly padded across the wooden floor. Sebastian liked to keep things simple; he didn’t enjoy clutter. This bedroom of the massive brownstone the Watchers called home in Acheron reflected that perfectly. There were no rugs or unnecessary furnishings, and everything, including the paneled walls, was precisely as it had been for the last three hundred years.
His weight shifted the bed beside her, and his strong fingers slipped into the comforter cave she had burrowed herself inside.
“Don’t you think I know by now when you are hiding from me?”
He didn’t sound angry, but as always, that just irritated Candra more. At least when he fought back, it was easier to be mad at him. She needed to be mad at something right now. Only two things distracted her from the pain in her heart: being mad was one, and Sebastian had taken the other off the table. After an eternity of casual flings and one-night stands, Sebastian was suddenly protecting his virtue.
She resisted the gentle tugging for another moment until it became clear he wasn’t giving up. She slackened her grip and allowed him to pull the comforter back, crossing her arms and turning away. A few weeks ago, she would have rather smacked her own head against a brick wall than behave this way. Her emotions were more up and down than a pogo stick. How anyone could stand to be around her seemed to defy logic.
“Wow, who’s being the stubborn teenager now?” he teased lightly, smoothing her tangled hair back onto the pillow. “I said I’m sorry.”
“You’re always sorry,” she bit back, glaring at him angrily. Candra knew her frustration was misdirected. Sebastian was simply an easy target. He would forgive her tantrums, no doubt, and he was there, which pretty much made him perfect for lashing out at over the last few days. After practically living in each other’s pocket for months, Candra had learned what buttons to press and how to push Sebastian to his limits without going beyond the point of foot-stamping, door-banging rage. It was just enough to take the edge off the pain, but made her feel like a pitiful wretch of a girlfriend.
