“I was, but now I’m asking as the concerned son-in-law,” Luke said.
“Then I’m telling you to butt out. Kiera and I are adults. We’re figuring this out day by day. Once we have any notion where this might lead, we’ll be sure to let you know.”
Luke looked surprised. “Then you think it might lead somewhere? There are feelings involved?”
“I’m not thinking about it at all at the moment. I’m trying to get ready to cook for the legions of customers likely to wander into your pub today.”
“Fair enough, but if Kiera’s heart gets broken and I have to deal with the fallout, I may not be able to protect you from Moira’s wrath.”
Bryan nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind. I notice, by the way, that you don’t seem to be too concerned that my heart might get broken. Haven’t you told me repeatedly that Kiera’s not an easy woman?”
Luke laughed. “From my vantage point, it seems to me you’re handling her just fine.”
Luke left the kitchen then and Bryan sighed. If only that were true.
*
The quiet, sleepy little town Deanna recalled from her previous visit was nowhere in evidence as she and Milos drove into town on the Fourth of July. The streets of downtown Chesapeake Shores had been blocked off and were packed with people. They were directed to an already crowded parking lot by the high school on the outskirts of town.
“I thought this was a small town,” Milos said, his eyes wide. “It looks as busy as London.”
Deanna laughed. “Perhaps it seems that way at first glance today, but I promise that the last time I was through here, it was a typical small village. Look around. There are no skyscrapers, and I think there might only be one traffic light. I don’t even think there’s a McDonald’s or a Taco Bell, and definitely no Starbucks. All the businesses are local, or at least that’s how it seemed the day I drove through.”
“Why did you come here?”
“I’d read about it somewhere,” she said. “And I needed a break on my drive to Baltimore.” It was simple enough and mostly true. The reality was far too complex for a day like today, with the sun already beating down and only a slight breeze stirring off the water. She glanced at her watch. “The parade doesn’t start for a half hour. What would you like to do first?”
Not that there were many options with the crowds seeming to move as one toward the town green.
“There are booths over there,” Milos pointed out. “I will buy you something, a souvenir for bringing me to my first American Fourth of July celebration.”
“You don’t need to do that,” she objected.
“A flag at least,” he argued. “We’ll need one to wave when the parade starts.”
His excitement was contagious, and Deanna found herself being swept along with it. With flags in hand, they found a spot along the parade route and waited until they could hear a band playing in the distance. “It’s starting,” she said, glancing up the street in the direction of the sound.
An hour later the last charming float had passed by and the crowd was dispersing, most of them heading toward the green and the arts and crafts festival there.
“Are you ready for a hot dog?” she asked Milos.
“Let’s walk around first and see the shops,” he said.
Deanna had to admit she was curious about this town where her father had settled. She let herself be led down Main Street, where they passed Sally’s, which seemed to be jam-packed, despite the competition from the food vendors on the green. They peered in the windows at the flower shop, the bookstore and a souvenir shop before turning onto Shore Road with its cafés and galleries.
Deanna caught sight of the sign for O’Brien’s and tugged on Milos’s arm. “Let’s walk on the other side, by the water,” she suggested, unwilling to pass directly in front of the restaurant, as if she might be tempting fate.
With Milos willingly following her, she crossed the street and walked out onto the town pier, where they lingered to watch people fishing. Then they started along the waterfront. Deanna kept her gaze focused on the bay, where an increasing number of boats seemed to be gathering in anticipation of the fireworks coming later.
“Wait!” Milos said, stopping suddenly.
“What?”
“It’s a pub, just like in Ireland,” he said excitedly. “I went to Trinity College in Dublin for a special program and went to many of the pubs there. Have you been to this one?”
“No,” she said carefully, panic starting to rise as she sensed what was coming next.
“Then we must go,” he said eagerly. “It looks busy, but the line is not too long.”
Deanna balked. “I thought you wanted hot dogs and ice cream.”
“We have all day. We’ll be hungry again. I want you to try something from my life in Europe.”
There was no way around it, not without revealing why she didn’t want to walk inside that pub. She told herself she was being ridiculous. Sure, she would be putting herself right in her father’s path, but even if he came out of the kitchen and looked directly into her eyes, what would he see? A college girl enjoying a meal with a friend. A stranger. Nothing more.
And if she caught a glimpse of him, one she’d been longing for, what was the harm in that? It would be an icebreaker of sorts, a way to make it easier when she faced him with all of her questions. She would have the advantage of familiarity, albeit no more than a glimpse.
“If it means so much to you,” she said, though she didn’t quite manage to keep her reluctance from her voice.
Milos studied her. “Do you really not want to go?”
Feeling guilty for stealing some of the fun from the moment for him, she shook her head. “Of course I want to go. Let’s do it.”
Inside, they left Milos’s name with a hostess, then ordered soft drinks at the bar and studied the crowded restaurant.
“Is it like the pubs in Ireland?” she asked him.
He smiled. “Exactly.” He grabbed a menu from the stack beside them and glanced through it. “The special is bangers and mash with onion gravy, one of my favorites,” he said happily. “Thank you for agreeing to come to Chesapeake Shores today. I was looking forward to an American tradition, but now I have a taste of something familiar to look forward to, as well.”
He seemed so pleased by all of it that Deanna couldn’t help being glad she’d relented. Just then a young woman came to lead them to a table in the corner. “Kiera will be your waitress,” she said with an authentic Irish lilt in her voice. “She’ll be right with you.”
Moments later an older woman rushed over, looking frazzled. “I’m sorry for the delay. It’s been a bit of a madhouse today,” she said, her apologetic gaze going from Deanna to Milos and then, suddenly, back again. Her expression turned puzzled. “Have you been in before?”
Deanna felt her breath quicken. “No. This is my first time here.”
“You look so familiar,” Kiera said. “But then we’re all supposed to have look-alikes, aren’t we?”
Deanna forced a smile. “So I hear.”
They placed their orders for the day’s special and Kiera hurried off.
“That was strange,” Milos said when she’d gone. “She sounded so certain that she’d seen you before.”
“It’s not possible,” Deanna said emphatically.
But she couldn’t help being shaken by the whole exchange. Was it possible that the waitress had seen some similarity between her and her father? Was that what had struck her without her even realizing it?
She realized that her friend was studying her worriedly. “Are you okay?”
“I think I just need some air,” she told him. “It’s very crowded in here and I think it’s getting to me. I’m sorry.”
“Go outside and try to find a place on one of those benches across the street,” he suggested. “I will ask for our meals to go and join you as soon as I can.”
“I’m sorry,” she said again.
Outside, the fresh air, hot
though it was, helped, as did just being away from the pub. She found an available bench down the block and sank onto it, closing her eyes against the wave of panic that had sent her fleeing the restaurant.
“Deanna?” Milos said quietly, sitting down beside her. “Are you feeling better?”
She forced a smile. “Much,” she told him. “And I’m starving.”
They ate their meals, disposed of the trash and then walked back to the green to visit the booths at the art festival. Milos was such an easy companion, commenting on everything and clearly enjoying the entire experience that Deanna finally put the uncomfortable moment at the pub behind her and allowed herself to enjoy the day.
After spending the day shopping, walking along the waterfront and throwing a Frisbee in a nearby park, Milos insisted on treating her to hot dogs and ice cream.
“They’re going to shoot off the fireworks from the end of the pier,” he said between bites. “If we look now, perhaps we can find a place along the shore to watch.”
“Let’s do that,” Deanna agreed.
They’d just found another bench that had been vacated, when the first of the fireworks lit the night sky in a shower of red, white and blue. All around them, there were murmurs of delight and applause from the children nearby.
“Oh my! Look at that,” someone with a hint of Irish in her voice murmured from behind them as the next display exploded over the water.
Deanna glanced over her shoulder and spotted the waitress from the pub. There was a man beside her. Deanna didn’t need to look at the article in her purse to recognize Bryan Laramie. She’d memorized that image. Her heart seemed to stop for a full minute, before it thumped unsteadily in her chest.
Her father, so close she could almost reach out and touch him. Tears pooled in her eyes, and she had to look away. The tears tracked down her cheeks.
Milos turned his attention from the fireworks to her, worry immediately clouding his expression. “You’re crying.”
“I always get emotional at these sorts of things,” she told him, hoping it sounded believable. “The music, the fireworks. It’s all so patriotic and moving.”
“It is,” he agreed, though he didn’t sound entirely convinced that it was the reason for her tears.
Deanna forced herself to keep her gaze on the sky as the show went on, not allowing herself a single peek over her shoulder. She didn’t hear Kiera’s voice again or that of the man with her. If only he’d spoken loudly enough for her to hear him, she thought. Would she have remembered the sound of that voice? Would a memory have come to her of him whispering loving words as he placed her in her crib? Did grown-ups ever have such memories, even those who had so many more memories to crowd out those early ones? She had no way of knowing.
But very soon she had to find out for herself. She’d delayed confronting the past for long enough.
*
At home that night, Deanna turned the air-conditioning down until her apartment was almost freezing, then wrapped herself in a comforter. It gave her a sense of security to be in her own personal cocoon.
When her cell phone rang, she almost didn’t answer, then saw that it was Ash. He’d be worried if she didn’t pick up. She’d told him she was going on an excursion with a friend for the holiday.
“Hey,” she said when she picked up. “How was your Fourth?”
“The same as always, a barbecue at the Franklins’. They all asked about you. They were surprised to hear you were at Johns Hopkins for the summer.”
“I imagine that was awkward,” she said. “Everyone expected me to be working with you.”
“I just told them you’d discovered a passion for medicine and were exploring your options in that field. I actually think Janet was envious. Their son is in grad school and still shows no signs of taking an interest in anything in particular.”
Deanna laughed. “Greg is going to drift through life as long as they let him and they pay for it.”
“I’m afraid you’re exactly right,” Ash said. “What about your day? What did you do?”
She hesitated, then admitted, “I spent the day with a friend in Chesapeake Shores.”
“Oh,” he said softly. “And how was that?”
“It was everything a small-town Fourth should be,” she said.
“You know that’s not what I’m asking, Dee… Did you see your father?”
“I didn’t meet him. It wasn’t the right time, but I did get a glimpse of him and we ate at his pub.”
“That was quite a first step.”
“But just a first step. I have to figure out how to take the next one. What if he’s forgotten all about me?”
“No father ever forgets his child,” Ash said with certainty. “I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten you. I imagine, given the way your mother took off, he’s wondered about you for years.”
“Maybe not. I mean he could have been glad we were gone. Otherwise wouldn’t he have tried harder to find us?”
“You don’t know that he didn’t try. It wasn’t that long after you’d left when your mom and I met and your names were changed. The trail could easily have gone cold.”
“I suppose.”
“I know it must seem scary to think of meeting him for the first time after all these years and not having any idea what to expect. Did you get any sense of him today? What kind of man he might be?”
“Not really, though he’s certainly working in a very successful restaurant. It was jammed, despite all the competition from a zillion different food vendors on the town green. The food was delicious, very authentic, according to my friend who lived in Dublin for a while.” She hesitated, then said, “One odd thing happened, though.”
“What was that?”
“Our waitress at the pub thought she recognized me. She finally dismissed it as one of those look-alike things, but I couldn’t help wondering. Do you think I might look like my dad, at least a little? I couldn’t really tell from just the one quick glimpse I had.”
“It’s certainly possible. I thought you took after your mom, but I’d never seen a picture of your dad until I found that article.”
“I wish Mom had kept some pictures,” she said wistfully. “I asked once and she told me she’d left them behind.”
“Not all of them,” Ash admitted slowly. “I found one of you and your dad in a box she’d hidden in the back of her closet. Before you accuse me of keeping it from you, I just discovered it last week. I finally decided to tackle cleaning out some of your mom’s things. I hadn’t been able to face it before. It seemed too final.”
“Oh, Ash,” she said softly, knowing how difficult that must have been for him and regretting that she hadn’t been there to lend him moral support. “You should have waited until I was there to help.”
“You’ve offered before, Dee. The other day the time finally seemed right. Letting go, even though I know they’re just clothes and shoes, was harder than I expected.”
“What did you do with her things?”
“I’ve kept all her jewelry for you. Not that she had much—she was never interested in fancy jewelry. I put aside a few other things I thought you might like. Most I donated to a shelter for women trying to get back into the workforce.”
“Mom would have loved that,” she said.
“About the picture, Dee. If you want, I’ll mail it to you.”
“Please, yes,” she said. “I really want to see it.”
“You were just a baby, remember. You’re not going to be able to tell if you resemble him.”
“Still, it’s something I should have when I meet him, to prove I am who I say I am, I guess. He might want proof.”
“I’ll mail it first thing tomorrow via overnight mail,” Ash promised. “When do you think you’ll go back?”
“Next weekend,” Deanna said, the impulsive words out before she could stop them. Now that she’d said it, it was a commitment of sorts. There would be no backing down.
“I know you’ve said you want to do
it on your own, but I am willing to be there if you need me.”
“I know, and I love you for offering. I know none of this is easy for you, either.”
“All I want is your happiness, Dee.” He hesitated, then asked, “Do you know what you hope to get out of this meeting?”
“Answers,” she said simply.
Wasn’t that all anybody really needed from the past?
Chapter 16
“It was the perfect end to a perfect holiday,” Kiera said, eyes closed, her head resting against the passenger seat as Bryan made his way through the remnants of the Fourth of July traffic, which had been slowed to a crawl by an unexpected storm that hit with driving rain and a fierce wind just after the fireworks ended.
“I think the fireworks this year were the best yet,” Bryan said. “And it helped that God added a few bits of lightning in the night sky to put the man-made stuff to shame.”
“But the actual storm held off, thank goodness,” Kiera said. “I imagine most people got back to their cars without getting soaked.”
“If only we could say the same,” he responded. “I’m glad I keep a change of clothes at the pub, but you must be freezing with the air-conditioning blowing on your damp clothes. Want me to turn it off?”
“Absolutely not. I’ll be fine as soon as I change and get out of these wet shoes,” Kiera said. “They got the worst of it. I think we ran through every puddle downtown.” She grinned at him. “I think you chose that route deliberately. Were you the kind of boy who never avoided jumping in a puddle?”
He laughed. “I was, as a matter of fact. It drove my mother crazy.”
“Moira and her brothers were no better,” Kiera assured him. “I grumbled about it, but I couldn’t really blame them, especially on a hot summer evening when the splashing helped them to cool off.”
“It sounds to me as if their childhood wasn’t so rough.”
Kiera sighed. “I didn’t want it to be, so I encouraged some of the simple little pleasures that other mothers frowned on. Maybe that’s how my sons got the idea that it was okay to break all the rules.”
Bryan glanced over at her. “Will you ever tell me more about them?”
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