by Amy Woods
“Don’t be surprised if next time you stop by, I’ve turned into one of ’em.” Tommy stopped suddenly at the top of the steps. “What’d you say you dropped by for, again?” He lifted up his white hat and scratched his forehead. “Not that you need a reason. Just want to make sure you don’t leave here empty-handed if you were needing something—”
“Tom?” Isaac said quietly, seeking a brief break in his friend’s out-loud thinking.
“—Macy would never let me hear the end of it if—”
“Tom!”
He finally turned around, a sleepy smile on his face. Isaac had never known his friend to wear any other expression.
“What’s on your mind, bud?”
Now that he had Tom’s attention, Isaac hesitated, unsure what can of worms he might risk opening if he answered the question truthfully.
He knew Tom was protective of Avery beyond what would be expected of a brother, and he could understand why. From what he’d seen the other night, what folks said about her time in service, and from the way she seemed to socialize far less than other locals, he could guess that she’d come back from war bearing a few scars—the kind you couldn’t see with a good pair of eyes.
The jumpiness he’d witnessed in her that night and her disorientation in an area she was familiar with were textbook post-trauma symptoms. He recognized them from the vets he trained service dogs for, and from—the memory still ached in a part of Isaac’s heart that he knew would never heal—from his brother. Which was why he’d avoided visiting the farm and his friends the past few months since he’d heard that Avery moved in. Working with PTSD victims in his job was one thing—watching his friend’s sister struggle through it was entirely another.
She needed help. More help than whatever Veteran Affairs currently provided, more help than her family would know how to give her, regardless of how much they loved and supported her.
Isaac knew, better than most, that love wasn’t always enough.
Love couldn’t always save someone.
So, as much as it might cost him in the long run, Isaac decided it was best to be open with Tom, for Avery’s sake. He’d just have to make sure Macy didn’t read too much into his visit, or she’d be on his case, and he’d find himself being set up again, only to turn up disappointed if it didn’t work out.
The other night, despite her condition, he could feel the electric hint of possibility between them, and he couldn’t deny that she was the prettiest woman he’d ever laid eyes on—but for now, all he wanted to do was help.
He set his shoulders back and held up a hand to shade his brow against the first rays of the rising sun. The day was already plenty warm, and he could tell it would be a hot one.
“Actually, yeah. There is something on my mind. Two things, actually. I’m so sorry I haven’t stopped by to see you guys lately, and, well, I’m not here to see you now, to be honest.”
Isaac ignored the goofy grin on Tommy’s face, not really caring that he wasn’t making any sense.
“I’m here to check on Avery.”
* * *
Avery accepted the mug Macy handed her and took a long sip of the rich, strong coffee it contained, closing her eyes as the taste of good beans, a little sugar and a splash of fresh cream washed over her taste buds.
Macy was grinning from across the table when she opened her eyes.
“Good?”
“The best. I’ve always loved your coffee. Not like the coffee-flavored water Tommy always made before you came along,” Avery said, laughing.
Macy beamed with pride. “Well, I’m glad you like it, and it’s here every morning, but it’s not enough to put meat on your bones, girl. You can’t keep going on caffeine and the occasional bowl of cereal. You need to eat. You’ve barely had a real meal since you moved in here.”
Avery took another sip and nodded in agreement. “I know I do.”
“So, tell me what it is. Is there something I can make that you’d wolf down? When I first met Tommy, you were a nachos-and-beer kind of girl. Maybe we just need to get you to a Tex-Mex place, stat.” Macy’s voice was light, but Avery didn’t miss the hint of seriousness in the woman’s words.
“It’s hard to explain, Mace. It’s almost like...like everything tastes stale or cardboard-y. I couldn’t tell you why. Ever since... I just can’t seem to eat like I used to. But I’ll try harder. Really, I will. And last week, I did eat a pretty mean sandwich at Isaac’s—”
At the sound of the front door swinging open, both women exchanged glances and then turned their heads to the kitchen entryway.
“Honey, is that you?” Macy called out.
“Me and company,” Tommy bellowed from the hallway.
A racket started at the front door and thundered down the hall, and suddenly Isaac’s dog, Jane, was rushing through the kitchen entrance, headed straight toward the table. Macy’s eyes widened in surprise but Avery’s heart swelled at the sight of the dog.
“Janie!” Avery said as the giant mutt bounded over to her chair. She stopped short and sat in front of Avery, her behind wiggling with the effort of not jumping into Avery’s lap. She reached up a paw and Avery touched it, laughing. “High-five!”
“Goodness,” Macy said. “Someone’s in love.”
“Who’s in love?” Tommy asked, entering the kitchen and heading over to kiss the top of his wife’s head, then on to the coffeepot. “Mornin’, sweetie. Mornin’, Ave,” he said as Isaac sidled up behind him to prop a shoulder against the doorway, arms crossed over his broad chest.
Avery’s breath caught at the sight of him. Good Lord, he was even better looking in the morning light: shoulder-length hair still unruly but obviously moist and gleaming from a shower, dark eyes glittering as they met hers. He was dressed in faded jeans and a cobalt-blue T-shirt that brought out the olive tones in his sun-kissed skin.
“Avery,” he said, his voice velvety-soft. He nodded at her, his lips offering just a hint of a grin, and, if she hadn’t been sitting in a chair, she was fairly certain she’d have melted into a puddle right there on the kitchen floor.
Thankfully, he turned from her to say good morning to his hostess, who jumped up from the table to give him a big hug. “Isaac,” Macy said, squeezing his midsection before turning to get him a cup of coffee. “It’s so good to see you. You’ve been such a stranger lately.” She held him at arm’s length so she could get a good look at him. “I’ve told Tom to head on over and check on you and Jane, but he insisted you’ve been fine, just busy.
“And he’s right,” Isaac reassured her. “But I do appreciate you thinking of me.”
Macy let go of him and picked up the carafe to pour him a mug, and, without asking how he took it, left it black and set it at the place next to Avery on the round, antique oak table. She winked and Avery felt her cheeks warm.
They’d been talking about him just before.
He walked in. As he drew near and pulled out the chair only inches away from hers, Avery had to remind herself that he wasn’t aware of that fact.
It was true that her family had spent a lot of energy worrying about her lately. She’d been back home for almost six months and dutifully kept her appointments with her therapist at the VA clinic in downtown Peach Leaf, but her symptoms weren’t going away; in fact, they hadn’t even gotten better. Sometimes, she thought, they seemed to be getting worse.
And with each flashback, each nightmare, each—her favorite—panic attack, Avery lost more and more of her self-esteem.
Where was the strong woman who’d enlisted after nursing school, hoping to see the world and serve her country as a medical professional? Where was the girl who’d always been drawn to the needs of others, to healing broken bodies?
She couldn’t help anyone in her current state—least of all, herself—and it killed her a little more each d
ay.
Avery hadn’t realized it, as lost as she’d been in her own thoughts, but when she looked up, she met Jane’s brown eyes, and noticed that her hand was buried in the dog’s fur, stroking it. The repetitive movement and the feel of the satiny coat soothed her. If she focused on that motion instead of the turbulence inside her mind, things began to settle down.
She turned to Isaac and he met her eyes. There was a gentle smile in them that made her think maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to try, just a little.
“I’ve always liked dogs so much,” she said, still petting Jane, who promptly rolled over to expose her pink belly.
Avery and Isaac both laughed.
“She’s a big, spoiled-rotten ham,” he said. “A very good girl, don’t get me wrong. But spoiled nonetheless.”
“No way,” Avery said, defending her new best friend from Isaac’s good-humored chiding. “She’s a sweetheart.”
“Ha! She’s got you wrapped around her paw there, I see,” Isaac answered, shaking his head.
Macy informed him he’d be staying on for breakfast and it didn’t take too long for him to give up his protest that he had work to do and didn’t want to be in their hair all morning. Finally, he agreed to stay for waffles. Avery’s niece and nephew joined the adults, rubbing their eyes from sleep. She snuck kisses on their matching strawberry-smelling, soft, flyaway blond hair before they saw Jane and ran over excitedly to pet the dog, completely ignoring everyone else in the room until Macy gently scolded them to say hello to Mr. Isaac. They did, before promptly returning their attention to Jane.
Avery chuckled. The dog was indeed spoiled, but she deserved it.
Tommy headed off to wash up from the morning’s milking, which he always did alongside his six hired hands, and Macy busied herself with the waffle batter.
“You’re a natural with Jane,” Isaac said as she set places with plates and utensils, then sat back down at the table, having been shooed away from her offers to help Macy prepare breakfast. “Mind if I ask why you don’t have one of your own?”
Avery fingered the yellow stars that decorated her favorite black coffee mug. “Well, I haven’t really given it much thought,” she answered, noticing that Isaac’s eyes traveled over her face with intensity that made her both extremely flattered and disconcerted. As one of just a couple of females among the majority of males that had made up her team, she wasn’t used to such attention. She was used to being just one of the guys. Part of her thoroughly enjoyed the way those brown eyes studied her features with obvious interest; another part warned her to turn and run. She wasn’t relationship material—now or possibly ever. Too much baggage. Too much damage.
“Before I went into the army, I was a nurse, and my shifts didn’t allow time for me to be a good pet owner.” Nervous, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, wondering, for the first time in a long time, how it looked and when was the last time she’d brushed it or had a proper trim. It occurred to her that it wouldn’t hurt to ask her stylist friend Jessica if she could squeeze in an appointment during the upcoming week.
A little change might make her feel better.
Isaac nodded, so she continued. “Then, when I joined, well...that’s no mystery.” She offered a soft smile. “I wouldn’t have wanted to leave a pet behind for my family to care for in my absence, and I’m enough of a burden on them as it is for me to bring someone else into their home.”
Wow. Her mother would turn over in her grave if she’d heard Avery sharing something so private with a relative stranger. The thing was, though, he didn’t feel much like a stranger.
She turned quickly away and stared into her coffee mug. But before her eyes had left his, she’d seen the flash of sadness on Isaac’s features and chided herself to be more careful; she didn’t want him feeling sorry for her. Him or anyone else.
“Sounds to me like you’d make a wonderful pet owner,” he said, surprising her. “You’ve obviously thought through these things, which is more than I can say for a lot of people.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, unable to keep her eyes from him. Something about the man drew her in, and the more time she spent around him, the more she realized his company was like a balm to her frayed nerves. He was like a dip in cool spring water on a hot summer day, and she’d have to be very, very cautious to avoid getting pulled under.
“Just that a lot of people get pets, especially dogs, thinking that the animals will just be happy to have a home and food, but they need so much more than that. They need love and attention and medical care and training. They’re incredibly wonderful, but a big responsibility. Most people don’t think about all of those things, but it’s obvious that you have, and I just think you’d be a wonderful dog mom if you ever decided that you wanted to be.”
He gave her another one of those sweet but sexy grins—the kind that made her forget she was in a room full of other people, full of her family and full of the morning chaos of another busy day. Though she was apparently the only Abbott born with a black thumb, Avery did her best to help out around the farm—watching the kids so Macy could bake or have some time to herself, riding one of the horses out to check fences and crops with one or two of the hands, or helping Tommy with the milking.
Six months ago, when she’d come to live with her brother and his family, she’d thought that kind of work would save her from the persistent, dark memories she’d brought home from war. But now, after living through several months of hard, manual labor–filled days, she knew it wasn’t enough. It was just another kind of running. She could cover a thousand miles, and those same memories would always be one step ahead of her, ready to knock her back down into the pit.
But something about Isaac’s compliment, about the idea of a dog, sparked her interest. Something about the thought of having a living thing to take care of—one that was all her own—offered an inkling of hope. But with hope came the risk of opening up, of putting her heart out there, and she wasn’t quite sure she could do it just yet. Still, maybe if she took the tiniest of steps in that direction...
She cleared her throat and looked back to Isaac, who was draining the last of his coffee. “Tommy tells me you’ve helped a lot of vets with your training,” she said, her voice sounding uncertain even to her own ears. “I’d love to hear more about it.”
“Well, I’m certified in general canine training, and I do all kinds of basic and advanced behavioral training, plus some search and rescue and drug-finding stuff for the local sheriff’s department, and I do work with vets sometimes, mostly pairing them with companion animals that we all feel are a good fit. Then I tailor the training to whatever a client’s particular needs are. I’ve taken several courses in training therapy dogs, but I’m always learning more, especially from working directly with veterans.”
He stopped there and she could tell he was trying not to bore or overwhelm her, which shouldn’t surprise her after the other night. Most people would have labeled her crazy and gone on about their business. Isaac was different. He was testing the waters and giving her room to go at her own pace, to seek information rather than being force-fed facts. It was a relief after all of the VA appointments and therapy sessions.
“What happens then?”
Isaac’s brow furrowed. “Well, as you’ve seen with Jane, dogs can be very calming. They can relax us when we’re getting to that breaking point where nothing’s helping and we just need a lifeline—someone to pull us back from the edge. All dogs, all breeds, have the potential to be amazing with humans, given a chance. But they’re just like people in that they don’t all get along. Not every dog likes every other dog, and not every dog is right for every person. It’s a matter of finding the right dog for the right vet. When that happens, it’s incredible what they can do for each other.”
Okay, now she was really interested.
As a waffle-filled plate appeared in front
of her, Avery looked up to find Macy smiling. She rolled her eyes but the truth was, she was glad to have someone to talk to who didn’t seem to judge her. Someone who had seen one of her worst episodes and hadn’t overreacted or, well, freaked out the way most people did. She was lucky Isaac was the one who’d found her wandering around in the darkness. It could have been anyone—but it was him. He’d taken care of her as though she belonged to him, as though she was his to keep safe and protect. And, because of his work, which she’d grilled Macy about the week before—something she’d made her sister-in-law swear to secrecy—he had the knowledge and experience to maybe help her, or to at least be her friend.
After what they’d been through in just a short amount of time, Avery knew he wouldn’t scare easy the way most people did. She didn’t blame them, really. It usually was just a matter of not knowing what to say, not knowing how to talk to her about her experiences in a combat zone most had only seen on edited television. Still, it hurt that her old friends seemed almost...afraid of her, as though she might break at any moment. And, to be fair, she could.
But Isaac wasn’t like that. He was gentle and careful with her, but at the same time, he didn’t treat her with kid gloves. He’d gotten her to talk more about her problems last week than her therapist had in months of trying different approaches. Plus, the idea that he could somehow even help her to get better—could maybe even work with a dog to help her—brought her more optimism than she’d felt since coming home, and she was smart enough not to resist a good thing when she saw it.
Also, it didn’t hurt the situation that he was the most ruggedly beautiful man she’d ever seen.
“I want to know more,” she said, pushing her shoulders back and meeting his eyes, a dose of bravery coursing through her veins. “How do I do that?”
Isaac’s eyes flashed with interest and pride as he swallowed the bite of waffles he’d taken and set down his fork. Avery noticed that he’d finished over half of the food on his plate while she hadn’t eaten a single morsel. “First, you eat.”
