Cam lets me stroke and suck him for a minute or so, and then pulls back and gently detaches himself from me. “Not today,” he murmurs. He draws himself back and kicks off his jeans, then reaches for me and helps me pull mine off. Then, pushing me backwards on the bed, he moves between my thighs.
I hold in a breath and stifle a cry as his tongue finds my core. My legs fall apart for him, my body immediately under his control. He kisses me, tastes me, teases me so softly that it feels like I’m floating on gentle waves, higher and higher, and when the waves crest over me and I call out his name, my whole body shakes and quakes with the force of what only he knows how to do. No one has ever understood my body half as well, no one has ever known what I need like Cam does. And when he raises up to his knees and pushes himself inside me, we lock eyes, and even though neither one of us says a word we’ve both said everything that needs to be said already.
Cam takes me deep and slow. His fingers are laced in mine, pressed against the mattress on either side of me. His eyes never leave mine as his thrusts speed up. I start to moan as my second orgasm begins to roll to the surface. Just before I come, the corner of Cam’s mouth lift into a slight smile. Then, as he goes rigid, I shatter around him, and he empties himself inside me with a shout. Cam gathers me into his arms, holding me to him, as we shudder together, and it feels like he’s the only thing that’s preventing me from exploding into a million beams of light.
When it’s over — when I can breathe, and hear, and see again — he’s still holding me. Cam’s lips find mine, and I cling to him, so overwhelmed with how I feel that I’m almost afraid for the kiss to stop. Afraid he’ll see on my face how much I don’t want this to end.
But Cam does eventually pull away, and I force myself to open my eyes and look at him.
“Kylie,” he murmurs. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”
My stomach lurches. Sorry? Is this it? Is this where he breaks it off? But before I can open my mouth to ask him what he means, he keeps going.
“I was never mad at you about Scotty’s death,” he continues, reaching up to stroke my hair. “You know that, right?”
“Wh… what?” I’m bewildered. “You were furious with me! You hated me, Cam. You wouldn’t even talk to me at the funeral. You blamed me for it. I know you did.” My voice cracks. “Not that I can fault you for it. I should have known…”
“No. You couldn’t have. And hell, even if you could have, you couldn’t have stopped Scotty from doing what he did. He made his own choices.” Cam looks at me. “He was fucked up in a lot of ways, Ky, but he was a good guy. He took the fall so your dad wouldn’t have to. I know that. But hell, it’s not like Scotty went to the pen for something he didn’t do. All he did was keep your dad out of it.
“Yeah, I was angry,” he continues, shrugging. “Angry as hell. For a long goddamn time. But the truth is, the person I was most pissed off at was myself. For wanting you.” Cam snorts softly. “It’s stupid as shit, but it’s true. I was mad at you because I wanted you so bad. I blamed you because being mad at you felt safer than admitting to myself that I was crazy about my dead best friend’s girlfriend. And it took me until now to figure it out, because I’m such a pigheaded ass.”
What Cam’s saying to me is overwhelming. I don’t know how to answer. So I respond to the only part I can.
“You aren’t a pigheaded ass,” I murmur. “Well, I mean, not an ass, anyway. Pigheaded, I can see the argument.”
Cam bursts into a laugh. I love the music of it, the low, sexy rumble. In spite of myself, I smile. “I wanted you, too, you know,” I admit in a half-whisper. “I felt terrible. I knew I should break up with Scotty, but I didn’t know how. And besides, I never could tell how you felt about me, Cam. Half the time you seemed to think I was okay, but the other half you acted like you wished I’d disappear.”
“I did want you to disappear. Just not for the reasons you thought. It was torture being around you sometimes,” he admits. “That day I took you home from school, when we found Scotty at your dad’s place? Jesus, I was hard as a rock that whole time in that car. I could barely take being that close to you.” He shakes his head. “If you’d been anyone else’s but Scotty’s, I wouldn’t have thought twice about doing what came naturally. But since you were his? I fuckin’ hated myself for even thinking about it. But Jesus, did I ever think about it.”
Hearing that Cam wanted me — finally understanding the reasons for the way he acted around me -- it’s like so many things snap into place at once. All of the times he seemed to be mad at me for no particular reason. All the times he’d be joking and laughing with Scotty or Mal when I was there, and then he’s just suddenly get up and leave the room.
“So many misunderstandings,” I muse. “God, it was all such a mess. And we didn’t even know it at the time.”
“It’s all in the past now,” he murmurs. “We all got caught up in a bunch of shit we didn’t understand and couldn’t control. I spent years telling myself I hated your guts, when I knew deep down it was exactly the opposite. But that’s over, Ky. ”
We’ve moved to the head of the bed now. Cam leans against the headboard, and I lean into his shoulder. “So… what now?” I ask.
“Now, we stop playing around and acting like dumbass kids,” he says firmly. His arm slides around me. “I’m taking you down to Ironwood tomorrow, like I said I would. And I’ll take you down every damn day if you want me to, while you’re dad’s in the hospital and while he’s in treatment. But at the end of the day, you’re coming back here with me.” He shifts toward me, his eyes dark and determined. “I’m not letting you go through this shit with your dad alone. And you’re not gonna be muling for the Ironwood club anymore, either.”
“But Cam,” I protest. “I have no money. None. I have to pay for dad’s treatments somehow.”
“I don’t give a shit,” he says, cutting me off. “Your dad needs you alive. It would kill him if something happened to you. And it would kill me, too. I love you, Kylie. I’m not letting you put yourself in danger like that. There’s other ways of getting money that don’t involve you putting your life at risk while your dad needs you there to help him fight this thing.”
But I’ve barely heard his last few words. “What did you say?” I whisper, in a daze.
“You gonna make me say it again?” Cam growls. He puts a finger under my chin and lifts my face to his. “I love you, Ky. Jesus, can’t you see that by now?”
“I…” I shake my head, trying to speak, but Cameron Hale has rendered me speechless.
“We’re gonna get through this shit with your dad together. No arguments. You’re not alone in this anymore, Kylie. Understood?”
His flashing eyes bore into mine. Cam’s tone is harsh, his jaw set.
In another time and place, I might have thought he was angry with me.
I know better now.
“Understood,” I whisper.
The storm in his gaze clears. One corner of his mouth lifts, just a little. He nods. “Good.”
“I love you, Cameron Hale.”
And then, just like that. He smiles. A real, genuine smile. A smile like I haven’t seen on his face since we were eighteen.
He laughs. “Jesus, it feels good to hear that.”
“It feels even better to say it,” I sigh.
“Yeah,” he agrees. “It does. Makes me feel like celebrating.” He frowns. “Huh. Seems like I should take you on a date, or something. To make it official.”
“I have a better idea.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
I nod toward the mattress. “How about round two?”
Epilogue
HALE
“How do I look?”
Kylie eyes me nervously as she twirls around in her new barmaid uniform. It’s a tight black tank top with all these little hooks in the front that go all the way up and down, and a denim skirt that hugs her ass in all the right places. On her feet are a pair of black Converse high tops. In the two months she�
��s been here in Tanner Springs, she’s gained about five pounds, and most of that went straight to her tits. Which I’m all in favor of.
She looks good enough to eat. And definitely good enough to fuck.
Not so sure how I feel about that.
“You’re gonna be cold in that,” I grunt.
“What?” Kylie cocks her head and then gives me a knowing look. “You’re not gonna go all caveman on me, are you Cam? It’s a biker bar. I can’t exactly show up in a Victorian dress and a collar that goes all the way up my neck.”
“Yeah,” I mutter. “I know.”
“Besides,” she soothes, coming up to where I’m sitting in the living room. She slides down onto my lap and puts her arms around my neck. “The bouncers at the Smiling Skull are good. Jewel made sure of that. No one’s going to get handsy with me.”
“They fuckin’ better not,” I scowl. “Maybe I should come down and make sure about that.”
But Kylie just laughs. “You can’t come with me every time I work, Cam. Stop. Worrying. I’ll be fine.”
I know she’s probably right, but I still don’t like it. I make a mental note to call up the Skull and tell the bouncers that if they let anyone touch Kylie they’ll have me to answer to.
“God, I hope I do okay today,” she frets, laying her head on my chest for a second. “I’ve never waited tables before, can you believe that? Of all the different jobs I’ve had. And I hear the Skull gets really busy on the weekends.” She lifts her head and rolls her eyes at herself. “Ugh, I sound silly, don’t I?”
“Yeah, because you’re gonna kill it,” I tell her, planting a kiss on her forehead.
I know Kylie wants to do well at this job, even though she doesn’t know how long she’ll have it. The Smiling Skull is a bar outside of town that our MC owns. Jewel, Angel’s old lady, is the manager of the Skull. She hired Kylie as extra help while she’s gone on maternity leave. It’s decent work — full time, good tips. Plus, Jewel has made sure the assistant manager is gonna give Kylie a flexible schedule for a while, so she can see her dad through his cancer treatments.
Kylie looks up and gives me a loving smile. “Do you want to go visit Jewel and the new baby in the hospital when I get done with my shift?” Kylie asks as she starts to wriggle off my lap. “I’m off at four today. Lola’s giving me an easy one for my first day.”
I take the opportunity to swat her on the ass as she stands. Kylie yelps and leaps away from me. “Yeah, that sounds good,” I tell her. “And then after that, I’m gonna take you on a date.”
“A date? How romantic!” She pulls her down jacket off the hook by the door and shrugs it on. “Okay, I’d better go. See you around four-thirty!”
Kylie practically bounces out the door. I laugh and shake my head, but the truth is it makes me feel like a goddamn king to see her like this. Kylie is happier than I’ve ever known her to be. Even with her dad still undergoing chemo. Even with us still working out exactly how to pay for his treatments. Even with all sorts of things still up in the air, my girl wakes up every morning with a smile on her face.
And of course, I do my best to put one there every night.
Kylie moved in with me right away after I told her I wasn’t gonna waste one more second without her. Over the last month, we’ve been working on moving her dad up here, too. There’s a good hospital up here, for one thing. Two of the nurses who work there — Lucy, and Thorn’s old lady Isabel — are connected to the MC. They’ve been working to get Charlie into a program that helps uninsured people pay for their treatments. It won’t take care of all the costs, but it will help some. And Kylie and I will figure out how to pay for the rest, somehow.
I finish my cup of coffee and head out to the garage to my bike. It’s a little cold to be riding, given it’s almost December. There’s even a possibility of snow forecast for later. But it’s a short distance to the clubhouse, and it’s a bright, clear day. Perfect for a late fall ride.
I straddle the bike and fire it up. As I pull, out of the driveway, my mind wanders over the events of the past few months. Not for the first time, I think about how Kylie’s dad’s own demons set off the chain of events that would end up with Scotty dead.
I told myself back then that doing a favor for someone out of love was the stupidest mistake you could make. But now, looking back, I think maybe I was wrong.
Turned out, Scotty wound up dead physically. But I was dead inside.
But that’s all over now. Kylie is with me. In a way, she gave me my life back. And now, what’s mine is hers, and what’s hers is mine.
Helping out her dad isn’t a favor. It ain’t an option.
It’s what you do when you love someone.
Love will save you. It will make you whole. Even a sad, angry bastard like me.
It took me a long time to find that out. But I know it now.
And Kylie’s the one who taught it to me.
Church is more or less a formality today. At least as far as hardcore club business is concerned. Beast calls us to order as VP, since Angel’s at the hospital with Jewel. We mostly talk about the massive fuckin’ party we’re organizing to celebrate Angel and Jewel’s new son. Once baby and mama have some time to recuperate, of course.
Timothy James Abbott, future Lord of Carnage, was born last night, two days after Thanksgiving. Already this morning, the Lords and their families have been taking turns going to the hospital to see the new family. From what Beast and the others are saying, Angel is proud as shit to be a dad. He’s already bragging that the kid’s got a grip like a champion.
The club’s old ladies have already organized themselves to make meals and shit for the new family for when Jewel and Timothy get out of the hospital. A bunch of them, Kylie included, are even going over to their place tomorrow to vacuum, do laundry, and stock the fridge, so they’ll come home to a clean house and plenty of food.
Everyone in the club is coming together, like the family we are, to make sure that our prez and his old lady are well taken care of. And I’m happy as hell that Kylie is part of that family now.
I spend more time than I mean to hanging out at the clubhouse and shooting the shit with my brothers. I leave just in time to get back to our house at four-thirty, and I’m pulling the bike into the garage just as Kylie arrives in her truck.
“Excellent timing,” I greet her as I walk out to meet her. “How was your shift?”
“Oh, it was fine!” Kylie’s beaming. “I actually really liked it, to tell you the truth.”
“Good deal. Get yourself changed and we’ll head to the hospital. We’re taking your truck.”
“The truck?” Kylie says quizzically. Usually when we drive places together, we’re either on my bike or in the Mustang. “How come?”
“You’ll find out.”
Her eyes light up. “Does this have something to do with the date?”
“Maybe.”
Kylie heaves an exaggerated sigh. “You’re so annoying,” she says, but heads into the house to change.
I may or may not spend a couple seconds watching her ass as she goes.
“Oh, my God,” Kylie breathes as she leans forward to gaze at the bundle of joy in Jewel’s arms. “Just look at him! He’s precious!”
“Strong and handsome, just like his daddy.” Jewel gazes down beatifically at her son. “And probably just as ornery, eventually. But for right now, he’s just so quiet and peaceful.” Jewel heaves a deep sigh of contentment.
“Has Jude been here to see him yet?” Kylie asks, referring to Jewel’s brother.
“He was here last night, actually,” Angel chuckles. “In the waiting room the whole time. He was the first one to hold the little guy, after Jewel and me.”
“I think he’s gonna be a very devoted uncle. Who’d have thought?” Jewel smirks. Looking up at Kylie, she asks, “Would you like to hold him?”
“Could I?”
“Of course!”
Kylie bends down and gingerly takes the sleeping infa
nt in her arms. As soon as she’s holding the baby, her face transforms into one of pure bliss. “Cam,” she half-whispers, clearly in awe. “Just look at him!”
I do, even though basically the kid just looks like any other baby to me. What’s really got my attention is Kylie. As she coos and smiles down at his tiny face, I feel like I’m getting a glimpse into our future. A future that looks a hell of a lot like Angel and Jewel’s right now, with a baby of our own.
It doesn’t scare me nearly as much as it should.
“We have a little present for you,” Kylie murmurs as she bounces lightly on her heels. “Cam, can you give it to them?”
I reach down and grab the gift that’s tucked into Kylie’s bag. I hand it to Angel. Both he and Jewel start laughing as he unwraps the present. It’s a stuffed motorcycle, with the Lords of Carnage MC colors embroidered on the fairing.
“Kylie’s idea,” I say.
“It’s perfect,” Jewel grins. “I can already tell it’s gonna be his favorite stuffy ever.”
We stay a few minutes longer, and then Thorn and Isabel come in so we decide to say goodbye. Kylie and I walk out of the hospital, her hand in mine.
“I’m so happy for them,” Kylie murmurs. “I can’t believe they’re parents.”
“Me neither,” I agree. “But they’re gonna be fucking great at it.”
We settle into the cab of the truck and I fire up the engine. “So. Is this the start of our date now?” Kylie grins, bouncing a little in her seat.
I flip on the radio. “Sure is.”
Kylie tries to get me to tell her where we’re going, but I pretend to zip my lip, and she pretends to pout about it. The place we’re going is out of town a little bit, but not a long drive. It’s already dark outside even though it’s barely after six p.m. The night sky is mostly clear, but off in the distance some clouds are moving in.
HALE: Lords of Carnage MC Page 16
