Diana and Noah were the only ones on the beach that March afternoon. School holidays had long ended, so there were no families with their abundance of belongings littering the sand. The expanse of unblemished sand and perpetually rolling waves were there just for Diana, Noah and the seagulls to enjoy.
The house they were staying in was right on Copacabana beach, a ninety-minute drive but a world away from Sydney. It was an idyllic two-storey beach house with a wide veranda, white plantation shutters and large windows looking out to the ocean. The ceiling was pitched, the floorboards whitewashed. From the kitchen window the curve of the beach was visible right around to the heads. It would have cost Tom a fortune to rent it, but he refused to share the cost with them. They each had their own bedroom with a view of the ocean, even Noah who was excited about sleeping in a single bed instead of a cot for the first time. Or was it his first time? Diana didn’t know. Seeing him in a proper bed reminded her that he wasn’t a baby any more, even though his body stretched only a third of the way down. Tom was right; this holiday was exactly what she and Noah needed. As soon as they had turned the car on to the freeway and left the city behind Diana felt the tension she had been holding on to for weeks, months, probably even years, start to drain from her body. She felt like they were escapees on the run, and the sense of freedom that provided was exhilarating.
Liam hadn’t come with them, of course. Diana had invited him, albeit with little enthusiasm and a silent hope that he would say no, but he declined the invitation with the meagre excuse that he couldn’t take any time off work. Diana didn’t mind personally – she doubted she would have been able to relax to the same extent if he was there and she had to endure his moods and the tension between them – but she wished he had made an effort to come for Noah’s sake. They had nearly forgotten amid the drama of the committal hearing and the media encirclement of their house, but tomorrow was Noah’s second birthday. Diana wanted to celebrate the occasion like any other normal family: with a cake, presents and an absence of tragedy. She wanted it to be in no way similar to his first birthday, which she had spent in a state of abject misery as she mourned the loss of her son. No, not this time. This birthday was going to be a happy occasion. She had asked Tom and Eleanor to pick up some balloons and streamers from the local shops so they could decorate the house after Noah went to sleep. It would be a great surprise for him in the morning. She also ordered a birthday cake for Noah in the shape of a fire engine, because he loved the toy one Tom had given him.
When Tom returned from the shops he came to find them at the beach, with Ninja walking on a leash beside him. He sat down beside Diana and stretched his long, white legs on to the sand.
‘Looks like he’s enjoying himself,’ he said with a nod in Noah’s direction.
Diana laughed. ‘He’s relentless. I almost feel sorry for those seagulls.’
Tom smiled at her. ‘It’s good to see you laugh, Di. You seemed so miserable back at your house.’
He leaned back on his elbows, his face raised to the sun to catch the afternoon rays. In the scrutiny of the bright sunlight Diana noticed for the first time the darkness under his eyes and the grey hairs speckled through his beard.
‘You look like you needed this holiday as much as we did.’
‘You can say that again.’ In response to Diana’s questioning look he added, ‘Jerry and I have been having problems.’
‘Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear that. For how long?’
‘Quite a while now, actually,’ he said, as if only just admitting it to himself. ‘Probably longer than we’d like to acknowledge.’
‘Was it . . .’
‘No, not another guy. Neither of us would do that. We’ve just grown apart, I guess. We don’t seem to have anything to talk about any more.’
Diana leaned back to join Tom on the red-and-blue checked blanket. Noah turned around to make sure she was still there and on seeing her wave at him he happily continued his tireless race up and down the beach after the seagulls.
‘That’s such a shame,’ she said to Tom. ‘I’ve always thought you two were a great couple.’
‘You just like that we’re called Tom and Jerry.’
Diana chuckled. ‘That’s true.’ She wiggled her toes in the sand, absently thinking that she should book herself a pedicure while they were up here. It seemed an appropriate thing to do while she was on holidays and she couldn’t remember the last time she had treated herself to one. She then silently chastised herself for thinking of such trivial things when her brother was obviously upset about his relationship. She turned her attention back to him. ‘Are you sure it’s not just a phase you’re going through? Has he been busy at work?’
‘Yeah, but he’s always been busy at work. Nothing has really changed.’
‘Is he still practising family law?’
‘Yep, he’s saving the world one family at a time.’ He sighed and lay down flat on his back on the blanket, his arms crossed across his chest. Ninja took that as an invitation to jump on to Tom’s stomach and settle down for a nap. His squat body curled into a circle while his tail flapped against Tom’s side like a dying fish. ‘Maybe I’m not being fair on him. He does deal with a lot at work. I just wish he wouldn’t bring it home with him; I can’t stand how melancholy he is all the time.’
‘Have you spoken to him about it?’ Diana asked.
‘A little bit, but he’s not really interested in talking about our problems.’ He shielded the sun from his eyes with his hands as he looked at Diana. ‘Why are you giving me relationship advice anyway? From what I saw back at your house you and Liam aren’t exactly couple of the year.’
‘It feels like it might be over between us,’ she admitted, feeling an odd sense of relief from speaking the words out loud. ‘We barely talk, and when we do, we fight. It’s hard to remember how it used to be between us, and I’m not sure that we’ll ever get back there.’
Noah started to walk towards her and Tom. It looked as if the seagulls had finally tired him out. He collapsed on to the blanket with the fatigue of a marathon runner after a race, his cheeks flushed and the nape of his neck wet with sweat. Diana pulled him into her arms for a cuddle before collecting her belongings, which were spread around her on the blanket.
‘Come on, sweetheart, let’s get you back to the house for a nap.’
With a final glance back at the tormented seagulls, Noah let himself be led to the house and put to bed.
• • •
Diana, Tom and Eleanor decorated the house with balloons and streamers after Noah went to bed, and Diana was barely able to sleep from the anticipation of seeing Noah’s reaction when he woke up. They decorated every part of the house; every door handle was tied with a balloon, every light fitting became part of a spider web of streamers, and the stair rail was latticed with streamers of every colour.
She was sitting in the living room downstairs, reading the newspaper before breakfast, when she saw Noah emerge from his bedroom and walk to the top of the stairs. She laughed at the bewilderment on his face as he took in the streamers and balloons.
‘Happy birthday!’ she called out to him.
A smile broke out on Noah’s face as he took hold of the banister and tottered down the stairs as fast as his short legs could manage. After he made it to the bottom, Diana swept him up in a hug and then carried him over to Eleanor who covered Noah’s face in small kisses. He squirmed in Diana’s arms, trying to get away, but his giggles suggested he didn’t mind it as much as he made out.
Diana showed him the pile of brightly wrapped presents in the corner of the room and he tore into them, littering the floor around him with long strips of paper as he tried desperately to get to the contents within. His squeals escalated in volume and intensity with every present he opened, his every move being captured by Tom’s video camera.
Tipsy with the success of the morning so far, Diana decided she and Noah should call Liam so he could wish Noah a happy birthday. She sat in a chair wit
h Noah on her lap and positioned the phone so they would both be able to hear Liam.
The phone rang once, twice, three times as Noah pushed his ear towards the phone in expectation. But then it went to voice mail. When she tried again a minute later, the same thing happened.
‘We’ll call Daddy later,’ she said to Noah as she put away her phone, telling herself that Liam was probably just in the shower. ‘How about we have some breakfast?’
But when they tried again half an hour later, the outcome was the same. Liam didn’t answer the home phone or his mobile, even with Diana’s repeated attempts. It wasn’t like Liam not to answer his phone. He left it on all the time, even when he went to bed, and it was never more than an arm’s length away from him. She left him a surreptitious voice mail message when Noah was out of earshot.
‘It’s your son’s birthday, where are you?’ she said. ‘He’s been trying to call you and he doesn’t understand why you’re not answering. Call me as soon as you get this, you’re ruining his birthday.’
Liam did eventually call, but not for two hours and by that time he had already destroyed Diana’s good mood as she fumed at the thought of where he was, what he was doing, and how anything could be more important than calling his son on his birthday.
‘Where have you been?’ she asked him. ‘It never takes you this long to return a phone call.’
‘I’ve been out. I’m sorry I missed your calls. I didn’t have my phone on me.’
Diana didn’t believe that for a second. ‘Who were you with?’
‘Does it matter? I was just out.’
‘Out where?’
‘I was just out, doing some things.’
Diana gritted her teeth. If he had been within physical reach she would have been tempted to slap him. ‘Why don’t you want to tell me who you were with?’
‘Because it’s not important. Can you please just put Noah on the phone so I can say happy birthday to him?’
Diana hesitated, wanting to keep questioning him, but after a moment she held out the phone to Noah.
‘It’s Daddy,’ she said to him with a false brightness. ‘He wants to say happy birthday to you.’
Noah took the phone and babbled into it, with only a few words coherent, before he put the phone down on the coffee table and walked back over to where his new toys lay scattered on the floor. Diana didn’t bother to say goodbye to Liam, she just pressed the end-call button and walked over to join her son.
• • •
The only thing that marred Diana’s enjoyment of her holiday was her indecision over what to do about Liam. She knew he had lied to her about where he had been and she felt almost certain that he had been with another woman. It all made sense: his remoteness towards her, his unwillingness to share her bed even after Noah returned, the hours he spent out of the house. Scenes played out in her mind, piecing themselves together like a puzzle. She tried to distract herself from thoughts of Liam by playing with Noah, or taking Ninja for a walk, or going to the beach, but every night she lay in bed thinking about Liam with another woman until the heaviness of her eyelids forced her eyes to close and sleep to come.
Eleanor watched her daughter as the days went by, and eventually she suggested to Diana that she take some time to herself, without Noah, so she could think things over without distraction. Diana was hesitant to leave Noah, but her mother assured her that he would be fine with her and Tom.
They had walked past a charming cafe near the beach a few times, a white weatherboard cottage with geraniums spilling out of window boxes, and Diana had been meaning to try the banana pancakes advertised on the blackboard. When she arrived, there were only three other people in the cafe. A young couple sat side by side on one of the blue-and-white striped banquettes, sipping from oversized mugs, and a man who looked to be in his early thirties sat at a table by himself, reading a newspaper. Diana chose a small table next to the window where she could see the ocean. She marvelled at how it constantly changed: from calm and blue one day, to agitated and green the next, and even to gloomy and grey on another. It seemed to change its colour and mood on a whim, like a woman who can’t decide which outfit to wear.
After placing her order with the waitress, Diana noticed the man sitting alone was looking at her over the top of his newspaper. At first she thought she had imagined it, but then as the waitress brought out her order of banana pancakes she noticed him looking at her again. She met his gaze, annoyed by his inquisition and expecting him to look away once he realised she had caught him staring at her, but to her surprise he smiled at her, folded up his newspaper and walked over to her table.
‘May I join you?’ he asked.
‘I’m married,’ she said automatically, and then she felt the heat rise in her cheeks when she realised how conceited that sounded.
‘So am I.’ He smiled as he held up his left hand and pointed to his wedding ring. ‘Sorry, you probably think I’m a creep. I wasn’t meaning to stare at you, I just thought you looked like you needed some company.’
‘Oh.’ Diana paused for a moment as she scrutinised him. He seemed harmless enough; he was well dressed in a green polo shirt and beige shorts and had a friendly smile that made his statement seem genuine, if not a bit unusual. People were obviously friendlier here than they were in the city.
‘Of course,’ she said finally. ‘You’re welcome to join me.’
‘You chose well,’ he said, nodding at her banana pancakes as he sat down at her table, setting the newspaper on the windowsill. ‘Those are legendary.’
‘So the sign said.’ She glanced over at his former table, which was empty. ‘Are you not eating?’
‘Mine’s on its way, but it’s not as exciting as yours. Just toast. I’m here most days, so I have to space out my banana pancake experiences so they don’t catch up with me.’ He patted his stomach for emphasis.
Diana smiled as she prepared another spoonful of pancake and ice cream. ‘They’re definitely indulgent. Do you live locally?’
He nodded. ‘Just a few blocks away. There are a couple of cafes closer to me, but I like the coffee here better.’ He leaned back in the chair and then as if as an afterthought he leaned forward and offered Diana his hand. ‘Sorry, I haven’t even introduced myself. I’m Richard.’
‘Diana,’ she said, taking his hand and shaking it briefly before dropping it and returning to her pancakes.
‘So, Diana, what about you? Have you moved here recently? We all get to know each other pretty quickly around here, so I presume you haven’t been here for long?’
‘Just on a holiday, I’m afraid. We’re here for two weeks.’
‘Well, that’s a shame, I thought you might have moved here.’
Diana smiled at him, unsure whether to be flattered by his attention or concerned about how she would be able to leave politely after she finished her breakfast. Even though he had said he was married she had the distinct impression that he was trying to hit on her. No-one had showed that kind of interest in her since she and Liam had started dating. And Liam had been so sure of himself that he had just presumed Diana would want to date him. All the girls in the area had known who Liam Simmons was, and she had been thrilled that he was interested in her.
Richard tilted his head to the side so he could catch her gaze, which had drifted out the window towards the ocean. She noticed that his pale blue eyes were a similar colour to the waves before they broke.
‘Are you okay?’ he said. ‘You seem quite down in the dumps for someone who’s on holidays.’
‘I’m sorry, it’s just . . .’ She looked at him, trying to decide whether she should tell this stranger about Liam.
‘Marriage problems?’ he asked and Diana nodded, surprised that she was that transparent.
‘Been there,’ he said. The waitress delivered Richard’s toast and he took a moment to butter it as Diana watched and waited for him to elaborate. ‘It’s a hard time,’ he said once he had finished. ‘Especially if one person thinks the relatio
nship is fine but the other doesn’t.’
‘I don’t think that’s the case with us.’
‘Maybe you just need to talk about things then, get everything out in the open?’
Diana appreciated Richard’s words, but she doubted whether Liam had any interest in talking to her about their relationship. She studied Richard’s face while he ate his toast and a fleeting thought crossed her mind that it was a shame he was married. He seemed kind, a trait she hadn’t recognised in Liam for a long time.
‘I’m sorry to put such a downer on the conversation,’ she said. ‘I’m sure you don’t want to hear all about my problems. I think I’m just scared about being alone. I haven’t been single since I was a teenager.’
Richard smiled at her. ‘Don’t apologise. I’ve gone through a similar thing myself. I’m still married, but we’ve recently separated. It’s hard, but I promise you it does get easier. And for what it’s worth, you seem to me to be the type of person who is more than capable of looking after herself.’
Diana pushed her empty plate away and gestured to the waitress to bring the bill.
‘Are you leaving already?’ Richard asked.
‘I have to get back to my son. I have a two year old. His name’s Noah.’
‘Noah, that’s a great name.’
‘Do you have any kids?’
‘Two. Sarah’s eight and Jack’s five. They live with their mum, but I see them on weekends.’
The waitress delivered Diana’s bill. She reached into her handbag for her wallet, but Richard stopped her.
‘Let me,’ he said.
‘Oh, no. Thank you for offering, but you don’t need to do that.’
Claiming Noah Page 23
