by Lori Foster
Carlie thought about the woman she used to be, so frivolous, so anxious to attract her husband’s attention, wanting and needing his approval. She’d failed dismally then, and eventually had learned a valuable lesson. Not that she blamed her husband entirely, for she had failed him in numerous ways. But he hadn’t even tried to be patient with her. He’d thrown out accusations without remorse or consideration to her age and inexperience. At first, she’d been crushed that she wasn’t a sexual person, that she’d failed in the most basic female concepts.
She was older now, wiser, no longer taken in by men and their obscure promises. Her husband hadn’t wasted any time in finding someone who suited his sexual tastes better than she did. It didn’t hurt anymore to remember, nor did it fill her with disappointment and self-reproach. She’d vowed never again to be that vulnerable. And she’d never been tempted to waver from that pledge.
Until Tyler. Now she had a night to herself, a special night to remember when she felt the loneliness that would surely come one day.
Gaining Tyler’s friendship was fun, but knowing him as a man, for that one special night, was a memory she would repeatedly indulge in recalling. Without even trying, he’d made her feel things she’d never felt before, things she’d thought herself incapable of feeling. He’d proven her husband had been wrong about her. That would have to be enough.
She would have to be very careful that he never became suspicious. Any more friendly, casual dates would have to be forgotten. She couldn’t risk it. The possibility of emotional hurt was too great. But the program? Could she distance herself, even while working with him for hours on end?
It wouldn’t be easy, but she had no choice.
* * *
“Tell me about Carlie.”
Brenda paused in her efforts to finish folding her laundry. “Carlie? What do you want to know about her?”
Tyler shrugged. “I don’t know. How long have you known her? Why isn’t she married?”
Brenda swallowed, then looked away. “She was married. When she was very young. But it didn’t work out. And since then...she just hasn’t found the right man. She’s intelligent, bright and funny and caring. She’s very special.”
Tyler was frowning slightly, then waved away Brenda’s defense of Carlie. “You don’t need to convince me. I’ve been with her a lot lately, and I like her, too.” He was silent a moment, then shook his head. “I didn’t know she’d been married. It was rough, huh?”
“I...ah, Carlie is very private, Tyler. I don’t feel comfortable talking about her.”
“I didn’t mean to pry. I just think it’s a shame she doesn’t have anyone special.”
Brenda turned and looked at him. “She told me you two went to the movies.”
“Yeah. It was really fun. I enjoyed it. It’s nice to be out with someone without having to worry about how the night will end. It was actually better than being with the guys. I didn’t have to listen to, and return, all the raunchy jokes about sex and who had enjoyed the latest conquest. It was comfortable. Do you know what I mean?”
Very gently, Brenda smiled at him. “Don’t look so confused, Tyler. I know exactly what you mean. Jason says he felt the same way after he met me. With other women and with his male friends, there was always a certain face he had to wear, a certain way he was expected to act. Around me, he could just be himself.”
“There’s a major difference here, Bren. Jason couldn’t keep his hands off you.”
Her sudden burst of laughter was quickly cut off. “That’s true enough, thank heavens. I don’t suppose you suffered the same thing with Carlie?”
“Carlie? That woman gives new meaning to bad taste. Her clothes alone are enough to keep my stomach churning. And there were several times I would have dearly loved to yank those damned glasses off her nose and stomp on them.”
“I’ve had the same thought myself, Tyler. But Carlie won’t ever change. She won’t dress to suit other people. And she’s comfortable with herself and the style she’s chosen.”
“What style? There is no style to her.” He grinned suddenly and admitted, “I’ve wondered what she would look like buck-naked, without her hair being tortured behind her head in that braid.”
Brenda’s mouth dropped open, then she sputtered. “Tyler Ramsey! Don’t you dare seduce my friend out of idle curiosity. I’d never forgive you!”
Tyler stood, glancing at his watch. He sighed philosophically. “You don’t want me to have any fun, Bren.”
“Have fun with some other woman. But you leave Carlie alone.”
“Carlie is safe enough.” Then he added, “You sure you won’t tell me who the harem girl is?”
“I can’t. I promised her I wouldn’t.”
“But why? What is she hiding?”
“She...she knows your reputation. And...and I guess she just doesn’t want to get involved.” Brenda shrugged. “I’m sorry.”
Tyler worked his jaw in frustration. “She doesn’t trust me?”
“Well...no.”
He exploded. “What is it with you women? I am not some overcharged male bimbo! Doesn’t anyone allot me the benefit of having scruples?”
“You women?” Brenda grinned at him. “This sounds like a Carlie lecture. Has she been rough on you?”
“One minute, yes. I get the feeling she doesn’t think very highly of me. But then she’ll laugh and be outrageously funny.” He paced a few feet away. “She keeps me guessing.”
Brenda walked him to the door. “I know you have scruples, Tyler. And I think you’re a very nice man, despite everything.” She skipped away when he turned, grabbing playfully for her. Laughing, she continued, “But Carlie’s different. I don’t want to see her hurt.”
“Hurt? Carlie’s about as vulnerable as a porcupine. But if you’re worrying I’ll make her promises I can’t keep, don’t. I’ve told her I like her friendship, that’s all. I admire her, despite her atrocious clothing, but I doubt I’d be even tempted to go beyond platonic with her. She’s safe enough.”
Even as he said the words, Tyler thought what an adept liar he was. He was tempted, more than tempted. It was just that the temptation had come in a different package. As often as not, he wanted to simply touch her, on the hand, on her smooth cheek. Holding her would be nice.
“Thank you, Tyler. I’m glad you’ve befriended Carlie. She needs some fun and excitement with men other than those stuffed shirts on the school board.”
Tyler had been in the process of walking out, but he halted abruptly. “I didn’t get the impression she was dating anyone in particular.”
“Carlie doesn’t consider going anywhere with them a date, because she works with them. She thinks that their interest is purely work-related. But I don’t think so. I think they’re as curious as you are, but probably don’t have the conscience you have.” She looked up at him, frowning. “So far, Carlie hasn’t allowed them the chance to appease their curiosity.”
“What about Carlie? Doesn’t she get curious?”
“Carlie?” Brenda fidgeted with her hair, looking away from Tyler. “Naw. She just isn’t interested anymore. Like her clothes, she thinks spending a lot of time on a social life is a waste of perfectly good brain waves.”
Tyler grinned. “I can hear her saying that.” He glanced at his watch again, then asked quickly, “So you knew her in school?”
“Carlie and I have known each other for years. Without her help, I’d never have made it through college.”
Tyler was silent a moment, acknowledging Brenda’s words. “Carlie’s like a mother hen, isn’t she? She likes helping people.”
“Yeah. That’s Carlie, all right.”
Nodding in satisfaction, Tyler left, late for his appointment. His trip to his sister-in-law’s had been spontaneous. Carlie had refused to see him again except at practice, claiming she had too many papers to grade and a big test to prepare. He’d missed her.
Carlie seemed to have an innate rapport with children. When he was younger,
he’d thought it was only his mother who didn’t like and understand kids. Women, in general, were supposed to be maternal, he’d thought. But as he’d matured, he’d learned exactly how wrong he could be.
His mother hadn’t wanted him or Jason because they hampered her life-style, which basically meant they curtailed her sexual freedom. At least she claimed they did. Tyler could never recall his presence slowing her down.
From a very young age, he’d known what women did with men. He’d seen what women did with men. His mother hadn’t been circumspect. His mother hadn’t been much of a mother.
And since then, he’d met too many women who seemed to share her sentiments. Life was for enjoying; as long as you had money and looks and prestige. It was a life-style most women sought, with no place for kids. Children interfered with careers or ruined otherwise perfect figures.
He would probably never have any children of his own. His life wasn’t conducive to raising kids. And he would never cheat a child of the warmth and love they deserved. Children should enrich life; they should be cherished and protected, not considered a burden to be tolerated.
An image of Carlie, married and cradling a baby of her own, flitted through his mind. It left behind conflicting emotions; tenderness, because he knew she would be an excellent mother. But also possessiveness, which made no sense at all. He refused to dwell on that sentiment, and put the image firmly from his mind.
It disturbed him, how much she occupied his thoughts. Especially when he had other things to think about. He wouldn’t give up on the mystery woman—he wasn’t a man to leave a puzzle unsolved. But time and again, he found his thoughts veering to Carlie and her unusual wit, the gentleness and patience she gave her students.
Anyone who took the time to really know Carlie, would realize there was nothing plain about her, despite the horrendous clothing she wore. She was about as complex and complicated as any female could be. He hadn’t exaggerated when he said she intrigued him.
Though he knew she’d had a good time with him, she had refused any future dates. She didn’t return his calls, either. He would almost swear she was avoiding him, but why?
He would take his time, and sooner or later he would figure her out.
He intended to enjoy every minute.
Chapter Six
CARLIE SAW TYLER’S car pull up to the curb in front of Brenda’s. His arrival was unexpected, and she went perfectly still. He jerked the car into Park, then jumped out, appearing determined—more than determined, if the look on his face was any indication. He disappeared past the window, then came to the kitchen door.
He knocked sharply, once, then stepped inside without waiting for an answer. Brenda met him there, her hands on her hips, blocking his vision of the kitchen table where Carlie sat.
“Tyler! What are you doing here?”
“I insist you tell me who she is.”
“Who?”
He gave her a look of impatience. “Enough, Brenda. You know who I mean. The harem girl. Who is she?”
Brenda rolled her eyes. “For the last time, Tyler. No!”
Carlie wanted to disappear. It was a miserable Sunday morning, aptly suiting her mood. She’d come to Brenda’s for solace, her emotions in turmoil. Nothing was as it had been only days before. She didn’t know what to think, what to do. She’d learned so much lately. Too much.
One thing was certain: she couldn’t just look at her experience with Tyler as a sexual lesson. Her one “date” with him had proven that. Tyler had touched more than her body. He’d thrown away the misconceptions she’d had about herself, stolen her fears and her disappointments.
And now that she saw him nearly every day, she feared he might very well steal her heart.
She couldn’t let that happen. She needed time to think, to reason out her reactions. But here was Tyler, wanting to know who she really was. It was too ironic to bear.
“Your friends are something else, Bren. They’re driving me crazy.” He ran his hands roughly through his hair, the gesture filled with frustration.
“Friends?”
“Don’t sound so innocent. First the harem girl refuses to tell me who she is. Then Carlie refuses to return my calls. I ask her out, and all she can say is no. I swear, that woman is totally—”
Brenda interrupted him then, clearing her throat loudly and gesturing with her eyes to draw his attention to the kitchen table. He looked, and Carlie saw his beautiful eyes narrow slightly.
His annoyance seemed to disappear; he became almost cheerful. “What the hell’s the matter with you? You look awful.”
After shooting him a disgusted frown, she turned away. “I have a cold,” Carlie said. She sincerely hoped he wouldn’t question her further, because her swollen, sleepy eyes had little to do with illness.
“And that made your hair all frizzy?”
“No, that didn’t make my hair all frizzy.” She mimicked him perfectly. “I jogged over here in the rain, and the rain makes my hair go frizzy.”
Tyler scrutinized her. “You just said you had a cold! Why the hell were you out in the rain?”
“I jog every Sunday. Why should today be any different? A little rain never killed anyone.” She knew she was being more waspish than usual, but she hadn’t planned on having to face him this morning. Her heart ached, and her head followed suit.
“No. Rain doesn’t kill, it just makes some people’s hair go frizzy.” Tyler grinned. “At least a few strands found the excuse to escape that infernal braid. It’s probably a hair rebellion.”
He laughed at his own jest, and Carlie stiffened at the sound. She pushed her glasses up, then lifted her chin. “Maybe I should go now, Bren. Tyler obviously has something he wants to discuss with you. And I’d hate to get stuck in the downpour, anyway.”
Brenda smacked Tyler, then hurried to Carlie. “Don’t go, yet. We haven’t finished...talking.”
“Yeah, Carlie.” Tyler pulled out a chair and straddled it, facing Carlie with a huge grin. “I probably won’t get any information out of Brenda, anyway. She’s looking very stubborn, don’t you think?” Then he turned to Brenda. “But you and I will talk later.”
“It won’t do you any good. I already told you I’m sworn to secrecy.”
Exasperated, he looked at Carlie pointedly. “Do you really want to discuss my personal life in front of company?”
Brenda scoffed. “Carlie isn’t company.”
“Gee, thanks, Bren,” Carlie said.
“You know what I mean, Carlie. Besides, I’m sure you couldn’t care less about Tyler’s love life. Right?”
Carlie tightened her mouth, feeling caught in a nightmare. Brenda was trying to tease; she still wanted Carlie to tell Tyler the truth. Only Brenda didn’t know what the truth was, and Carlie had no doubt she’d be shocked if she did. For that matter, Tyler would be shocked, too. And probably disappointed. Carlie couldn’t bear that. “You’re right. I don’t care to sit through any details. So—” she stood “—I’m off.”
Tyler caught her wrist. “You can’t walk home, now. It’s raining.”
“Believe me, it won’t bother me a bit.”
“Now, Carlie, don’t be obstinate.”
“Tyler, I’m dangerously close to laying you low.” She had to get away from him. Now.
“Violence? My, my, your cold is making you surly.”
She tugged, but he didn’t release her. “Tyler, what did you intend to do today, before you came here and decided to harass me?”
“I was going to harass Brenda, but you’ll do better.”
She could feel the warmth of his hand on her arm, feel the probing intensity of his eyes. “Let go. I want to leave.”
Tyler looked down at his hand, still wrapped around Carlie’s wrist. She saw what he saw. His fingers entirely encircled her. She had slim, fine-boned wrists. He said, “You’ve been avoiding me.”
Her breath caught somewhere in her diaphragm, causing her chest to ache. It took a great deal of effort to banter with
him. “I’ve been busy. And why are you calling me on a weekend, anyway? Surely your social calendar is fully penciled in.”
He flashed her a grin. “No, and there were numerous disappointed ladies, I can tell you.”
She knew him well enough now to know he was only baiting her. He wasn’t nearly the egomaniac he pretended to be. A reluctant smile curved her lips. “Tyler, quit fooling around. Let go.”
“Not until you promise to help entertain me. Let’s do something, go someplace. I’m bored and despondent. I need company.”
“Despondent?” He was charm personified, and much too appealing. It was strange, but not only had she played the part of two different women, she felt like two different women. Tyler was managing to lighten her mood, even though he was the cause of her foul disposition in the first place.
“That’s right. And with good reason.” He grinned at Brenda. “I got shunned by someone at Bren’s party the other night, and now she won’t tell me who the woman is.”
With a theatrical gasp meant to cover her uneasiness with the topic, Carlie stared. “No! It can’t be true.”
“Sadly, it is. I fell in love, and the wench dumped me.”
The words had obviously been said as a jest, but still Carlie jerked. Brenda said quickly, “He...he met a friend of mine during the party. They seemed to hit it off, but...she doesn’t want to see him again. Ever.” She ended with a shrug.
“Just tell me who she is, Bren. I can handle the rest.”
Wanting to play her part properly, Carlie asked with laudable suspicion, “You don’t know who she is?”
“Absurd, isn’t it? But she refused to remove her mask, just so I wouldn’t know who she was.”
Carlie struggled to relax her tense muscles. “Smart girl.”
“Oh, she wasn’t a girl.” He gave her a taunting smile, obviously irritated with her snide comment. “She was very much a woman. A damned sexy woman.” He turned to Brenda, a mocking plea in his eyes. “Please! Tell me who she is. I promise you, she’ll thank you later.”
Brenda grinned at his woeful expression. “I don’t know. What do you think, Carlie?”
