“Because it doesn’t make any sense to wait. When I first planned this trip, I needed to get away. Figure out what I wanted to do. Now I know what I want, but I have all these potential suppliers to meet. But I don’t want to leave you and Harley behind. I want you with me, Emma. Both of you.”
“You can’t make arrangements with these suppliers from here?”
He shook his head slowly. “Face-to-face. That’s how they do business. I have to go.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “The rest of it is personal. My mother’s family came from there. They opened Mama’s Place. It all started with Italy and the restaurant and their accident. I...I need to go to the source. Figure out how not to screw up again.”
Her heart contracted into a hard lump of pain. “If you can’t wait, you’ll have to go without us.”
He turned to face her. “Is it really that black-and-white, Emma? Can’t we figure out a way to make this work?”
“How? Even if I could get the time off, Harley can’t miss three weeks of school.” She was digging in her heels. Being unreasonable. She knew it, and she couldn’t stop herself. She blinked, trying to clear her vision. “How long are you going to be gone?”
“My ticket’s open-ended.”
“So it could be more than three weeks. You expect us to drop everything and run away with you?” Her voice thickened. She clenched her teeth to keep the tears from falling.
“I have to go, Emma. I want you with me. You and Harley.” His low voice was anguished. “I learned a lot about myself in the past year, and I don’t like much of what I learned. I have to figure out who I really am.”
“If you leave now, you’ll be abandoning Harley.” Just as Emma had been abandoned by her father. And her mother, as well. “How can you do that to her?” Emma welcomed the anger that was stirring. It was better than this jagged pain in her chest.
He clenched his jaw and his eyes darkened. “I’m not abandoning her. And if you won’t come with me, I’ll make sure she understands that.”
“Why can’t you stay, Nathan?” she whispered. “Figure stuff out here. With me. And Harley. I don’t want you to go.” The pain was so sharp that she looked down, expecting to see blood on her chest.
“Why can’t you both come with me?” he retorted.
Once before, she’d leaped before she looked with Nathan, and she’d fallen off the cliff and into love with him. She wasn’t sure she could do it again. “I can’t,” she said, tears clogging her throat, blurring her vision. “I can’t run away with you.”
“Emma, sometimes you have to take chances. Sometimes, you just have to jump.”
“The way you’ve always done? You just said you didn’t like the way that turned out.”
His face tightened. “It’s not the same thing.”
“It’s exactly the same.”
“You’re scared, Emma. But sometimes you have to take chances. Sometimes you just have to let go.”
But the last time she’d tried that, Nathan hadn’t caught her. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
“Damn it, Emma! I...I care about you. I want you with me.”
“I want to be with you, too. But I can’t run away.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. “You could come if you wanted to. I’m going to miss you, Emma. But I’m going. With you or without you.”
He waited. When she didn’t move, he yanked the door open. “Goodbye, Emma.”
“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” she said, but the door closed behind him.
* * *
TWO HOURS LATER Emma heard Harley’s boots clomping up the stairs. She took one last look in the mirror to make sure she’d erased all signs of tears, then opened the door and forced a smile onto her face. Harley’s hair bounced as she flew up the stairs, and when she reached the door, she threw her arms around Emma.
“Emma! Did you know? Dad’s going to Italy. Isn’t that amazing?”
“Yes, I knew,” Emma said carefully. “You’re okay with him going away?”
“He won’t be there long.” Harley’s tone was confident. “He told me he’s meeting with a bunch of people about stuff for the restaurant. And that he needs to get his head on straight after all the sh...stuff that happened. He said maybe we’d go back in the summer. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Did you know my grandmother was born there?”
“I did know that,” Emma murmured. Nathan hadn’t told his daughter that Emma had refused to go with him. He hadn’t put Emma in the middle.
Nathan was a good man. Why did he have to go to Italy to figure that out? Why didn’t he just ask her?
Tears clogging her throat again, she closed the door behind Harley. “So, tell me what you did at Mama’s tonight.”
* * *
A WEEK LATER, the day after Nathan had left for Italy, Emma sat at her desk at work, unable to concentrate on the files in front of her. She missed him with an all-consuming ache. He’d been gone for less than twenty-four hours, and she couldn’t bear it.
Her mother had flitted from one relationship to the next when Emma was growing up. Periwinkle had never seemed to miss the men she left behind, or the ones who’d left her behind. She’d always just said it wasn’t meant to be.
How had her mother managed to keep her heart intact all those times?
Emma thumbed through her cell phone contact list. Her finger hovered over the listing for Mom, and it took her a long time to press it. Three rings later, her mother answered.
“Emma! How are you?”
“I’m good, Mom. How’s it going out in California?”
“Oh, well, things have been better. But I’ll survive.” Emma heard the slight catch in her voice. “I always do.”
“What’s wrong?”
“The man I told you about?” Periwinkle tried to sound airy, but she just sounded sad. “The one who owns the organic farm? Jason? We’ve broken up. He’s a little too stodgy for me. Too set in his ways. You know me. I’m a...a butterfly.”
“Yeah, Mom, I know.” She tightened her hand around the phone. “I know.” Emma swallowed. “It sounded as if you were good together. Do you miss him?”
A long pause. “Some.” Periwinkle cleared her throat. “But it wasn’t meant to be.”
Oh, Mom. “Didn’t you ever fall in love with one of the guys you dated? Miss them when they left?”
“Once,” Periwinkle said softly. “Your father. But he wasn’t ready to settle down. I tried to force him to. So he ran away.”
And her mother had avoided love ever since.
“You never told me that,” Emma said quietly.
“What was the point? It was over a long time ago.” Periwinkle’s moment of introspection was over. She wrapped her butterfly persona around herself again. “Enough of this depressing stuff. How’s my granddaughter?”
“She’s really good.” Emma swallowed. “A great kid.”
“I’ll have to come to Chicago to meet her.”
“I’d like that, Mom.” Emma wasn’t going to hold her breath. Her mom would get distracted by something and be off on another adventure. She’d forget about Harley. Forget about Emma.
Periwinkle Sloan had always been that way. Maybe that’s why Emma was so organized. So steady.
So stuck in the mud.
She chatted with her mother for a while longer, before saying goodbye. Emma’s mother had always lived her life in the moment. She never looked before she leaped. In reaction, Emma had made herself the complete opposite. Unwilling to take
chances.
Afraid to take chances.
She froze. Stared out the window for a long time, then slipped the phone into her pocket and started to pace her office. Was she really afraid to take chances? Was she clinging to her routine to keep from ending up like her mother?
Maybe she needed to take a few chances. Maybe she needed to do some things completely out of character.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
I HOPE YOU find what you’re looking for.
Sitting at an outside table in a small café in Bornato, enjoying his aperitivo, Nathan ate a lemon-marinated anchovy and washed it down with a sip of chianti.
He swirled the wine, watched the red liquid gleam in the sun. He’d been here for three days and hadn’t figured anything out.
The heat of the sun had baked his skin, burned into the muscles of his left leg. Soothed them. Eased the tightness.
He’d met with two potential suppliers, and arranged to try a brand of pasta and another of canned tomatoes. But it didn’t feel as good as he’d thought it would.
The suppliers were shipping their products to Mama’s. He should be happy he’d made progress.
But the hollowness hadn’t disappeared. He’d been so determined to come here, so certain he’d find some answers. Magically discover who he was. Instead, he was the same confused man he’d been when he arrived.
He was staying in the town where his grandparents had been born. It was a beautiful town, surrounded by vineyards and full of friendly, welcoming people. But all he could think about was the reaction he knew Emma would have had if they’d walked into Bornato’s town square, seen it washed in golden sunlight that turned the ancient stone buildings a soft rose. How she would have loved being here.
He missed her. He missed Harley.
With an intensity that all the sunlight and Chianti in Italy couldn’t soothe.
Emma had been right. He didn’t need to travel thousands of miles to figure out who he was and what he wanted. He could have conducted his business with suppliers online. He wanted Emma. And Harley. So why, exactly, had he come here?
He’d needed time and space to think. To figure out what he wanted his life to be. But all he’d been able to think about was Emma. The scent of her skin, the silk of her hair, the way she’d wrapped her arms around him as though she would never let go. The soft murmur of her voice in his ear, telling him she wanted him to stay with her.
And Harley. His daughter, who looked so much like her Irish great-grandmother with her red hair and her Devereux eyes. Who’d called him when she was scared. Who had emailed every day so far, telling him what she was doing. Which friends she’d sat with at lunch. What had happened at FreeZone that day.
Nathan set his wineglass carefully on the café table. Why had he come all the way to Italy to figure out who he was? He already knew.
He was the man who’d just discovered he had an amazing daughter. Who’d fallen in love with her faster and harder than he’d thought possible.
The man who’d fallen in love with Emma, as well. The man who wanted Emma in his life, every day and every night.
He’d been so afraid that he was just like Mitch Kopecki—impulsive. Reckless. Making bad decisions and worse choices.
But he was very different from Mitch, and it had taken coming all the way over here, away from the people he loved, to make him see it.
Yeah, he’d done some stupid things, but he’d done them out of love. He’d been trying to take care of his family. Protect them. None of his decisions had been to protect himself.
Maybe Emma and Harley would be safe with him after all.
* * *
HARLEY LEANED AGAINST the counter in the lobby of the hotel in the small Italian town of Bornato, weariness tugging at her. She hadn’t slept much on the plane last night—she’d been too excited about coming to Italy. Now they were here in this cool Italian town, where her dad was supposed to be, and she could barely stay awake. How lame was that?
Emma wrapped one arm around Harley’s shoulder as she handed the clerk her credit card. As the man made a copy, Harley said, “Are you sure this is where Dad is?”
“Positive, Harley.” Emma’s arm tightened, then she dropped a kiss on Harley’s head and let her go. “I’ve already asked Alessandro. Your dad is here.”
Harley heard footsteps on the stairs, then a voice called, “Ciao, Alessandro.”
“Dad?”
“Nathan?”
She and Emma spoke at the same time, and they both hurried toward the staircase. Nathan stood on the bottom step, looking stunned.
“Emma? Harley? What are you doing here?”
Emma threw herself at him. “Looking for you,” she said.
Harley’s dad gave Emma a huge hug, then he kissed her. And it looked like there was tongue. “Ewww. Gross, guys.” It was actually kind of cool. Although she’d never admit that.
Her dad lifted his head, grinned and reached for Harley. Crushed her to his side. “Better get used to it, kid. You’re gonna be seeing a lot more of that.”
Emma was staring at her dad as if he was a rock star or something.
Wow. Her dad and Emma. That was...awesome.
Harley bent her head so her hair covered her face and smiled. She’d seen her dad look at Emma. Seen Emma look at her dad. Their hands touched all the time. At the soccer game, they’d looked as if they were glued together on the bleachers.
And the evening after the ski trip? When she’d walked into the living room? They’d jumped apart like she’d caught them doing something dirty.
Maybe she had.
“So. What’s going on?” she asked.
“I was just heading out for some breakfast,” Nathan said with a straight face. “You hungry?”
“Daaad.”
He smiled, keeping his arm around Emma, and took Harley’s hand. “Need to talk to Emma. You, too. But first, tell me how this happened. How did you get here?”
“Duh, Dad.” She rolled her eyes. “We walked.” He was such a dork. Just like Emma. “Emma took me out of school! Can you believe that? She said it was more important to be here with you. This is the sickest thing ever.”
“Yeah,” he said, staring at Emma. Who was blushing. “The best surprise I’ve ever had. You must have heard me wishing last night.”
“Wishing what?” Harley asked.
“That you were both here with me.”
Harley was bouncing on her toes. It wasn’t cool, but no one here knew her. “And we came! That’s so awesome!”
“More than awesome.” Nathan looked from Harley to Emma. “A miracle.”
“That’s what Emma said! She said it was a miracle she found seats on a plane.”
“You were right,” Emma said. “Being here with you is so much more important than going to school or working. I was a fool for not realizing that.”
Emma stared at her dad as if nothing but him existed. And her dad was staring back. The lump that had lived in Harley’s chest for a long time slowly started to dissolve. Maybe this was going to be okay, after all. Maybe she wouldn’t have to choose between Emma and her dad.
But she was going to have to do something about it. They were standing there like the complete dweebs they were, not saying anything. “Can I, uh, take a nap or something? I’m, like, really tired.”
Emma jerked her gaze away from Nathan. “Of course, honey.” She glanced at Dad. “I don’t think she slept at all on the plane.”
“Then let’s get your bags upstairs.” He reached for her bag, but Harley snatched it away from him. No way was he carrying her bag. He was still limping.
She climbed the stairs, surprised to realize that she was legitimately tired. When she got to the top, she looked down to see her dad and Emma halfway up the stairs. Emma had her arm wrapped around Dad, and his was wrapped around her. “You are so gross,” Harley said. “You better not do this stuff at home.” But inside, she was smiling.
Her dad looked up and grinned. “Never letting her go. You, either.”
“What? You’re going to college with me?”
“Maybe.”
She rolled her eyes because, jeez, what if he said stuff like that in public? But inside, she got all mushy.
When they found their room, Emma unlocked the door and waited for Harley to go inside. There were two twin beds, a tall closetlike thing and a dresser and desk. Sunlight poured through the window.
Harley sank onto one of the beds, her eyelids heavy. She lay down and curled on her side, and Emma bent and kissed her head. “How about a short nap, then we’ll get something to eat?” she said.
“Uh-huh.” Harley smiled to herself. Maybe her dad and Emma could have that talk now.
“We’ll be back soon, honey.”
The door clicked shut behind them, and Harley finally let her eyes close. She liked the sound of that. We.
* * *
EMMA WAS A disorienting combination of exhausted and wired. She stood in the narrow hallway, staring at Nathan, suddenly uncertain. She’d been sure this was the right thing to do, and Nathan seemed happy to see them, but she was too tired to think logically. Had he really wanted them here? He’d chosen to come to Italy instead of staying with her and Harley. Maybe he’d decided he needed time away from them.
Then he drew her into his arms. “My room,” he whispered into her ear. He held her tightly to his side as they walked two doors down the hall. As soon as they were inside, he backed her against the door and claimed her mouth.
His kiss was hungry, almost desperate. “Emma,” he groaned when he took a breath. “God, Emma, I missed you so much. I was stupid to leave you and Harley.”
Bending the Rules Page 30
