by R. R. Banks
“Yes, you should have,” I insisted.
“It did nothing but ruin my life.”
“Do you really believe that?”
Snow poked the ice cream coffee soup with her spoon a few times and then shook her head.
“I guess not,” she said.
“Are you still thinking about Noah?”
She looked up at me as if asking the question was some sort of betrayal, but I didn’t back down. I hadn’t heard her talk this way about anyone since she had met her ex. In fact, she didn’t even talk about him that way. This was new. There was something sparkling and glowing in her eyes even in the brief times that she had talked about him and I couldn’t understand why she was insisting on pushing the feelings away, especially now that she felt as though the rest of her life was falling apart around her.
“I told you. There’s no point in me thinking about him. It can’t go anywhere.”
“But why not?”
“I already explained that to you. We each signed contracts. We aren’t allowed to share any personal information or enable each other to get in contact outside of the retreat. I’m not even supposed to know that his name is Noah. All of the other men used their aliases throughout the entire time that I was with them. Even if I wanted to contact him again, I wouldn’t be able to.”
“But you do want to,” I said.
Snow sighed and I took that as confirmation. Suddenly I felt envious of Snow. Though she was hurting now, she was feeling something that I never had. I was about nothing more than sex. I rarely had the same partner more than once, and if I did, I was very careful to make sure that there was a clear understanding that it was not a relationship. We were not a couple. We would not be going on romantic getaways. We would not be having breakfast together unless it was snatching a granola bar off the grab-and-go counter at the hotel where we spent the night. While it was fun and I never had to deal with the type of pain that Snow was feeling, I never got to experience whatever it was that made it worth it to risk that type of pain.
It seemed that Snow was about to say something, but her phone jangled in her purse and she leaned down to fish it out. She looked down at the screen and clicked through the screen to check the text that she had just gotten. She read through it a couple of times and let out an exasperated sound.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Apparently, I’m supposed to go into the office tomorrow,” she said.
She filled her spoon with another huge bite of her ice cream concoction and put it in her mouth. I had to give it to her, she certainly knew how to girl.
“Why?” I asked, picking up the spoon from my place setting and snagging some of the goo for myself. It was so delicious I felt like I could probably go through a little heartache if it meant that I could stuff myself full of caffeinated ice cream. “I thought that you had been in no uncertain terms banned from the office.”
“I thought that I was, too,” she said, dropping the phone back. She rolled her eyes and let out a groan. “Maybe they’ve decided that I’m in trouble because of the door.”
“What did you do to the door?”
“I thought I told you about that,” she said in that way that meant she was trying to scoot past something without really acknowledging it.
“Um, no,” I said. “You told me that your coworker brought you a copy of The Apple and that you barged in to Lucille’s office to confront ----oh, lord. You bashed her door down, didn’t you?”
“Maybe,” she said.
“Snow...”
“Alright, yes. I kicked the door down. And they didn’t really say anything about it.”
“You are going to walk in there and the police are going to be waiting for you.”
“I would hope that Hunter would have mentioned the intention to throw me in jail in his text,” she said. “He might be Lucille’s assistant now, but he knew me first. Besides, he can’t stand her any more than any of us can.”
“Well, that’s reassuring.”
She nodded, taking another bite, but her eyes reflected worry that she obviously didn’t want to talk about.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Snow
I didn’t know what I should wear to the office the morning that I was to report after Hunter’s text. Should I go for business attire, like I was going back to work? An everyday outfit because, clearly, I was not going back to work? Business casual, whatever the hell that is?
What is the best outfit to wear for jail intake?
I finally settled on a pair of fitted black slacks with a yellow and blue sweater and my favorite red heels. It was appropriate enough that no matter who I was facing in the office, I would feel comfortable, but also versatile enough that if I was being hauled off to the hoosegow at least I would be able to climb in and out of the backseat with some of my dignity intact. When I arrived at the office, I had my old ID badge at my hip like I had every other morning I had worked there. Though I expected it not to work, the door clicked and swung open just as it always had. I stepped into the lobby and saw Hunter waiting in the center of the space. He had a hint of a smile on his lips and he opened his arms as I approached.
“It’s so good to see you, Snow,” he said. “We’ve missed you around here.”
“It’s good to see you, too,” I said as I accepted his friendly embrace. “I’ve missed all of you. Well,” I hesitated, looking toward the door that led onto the work floors, “maybe not all of you.”
“I guess that that is as good a segue as any,” he said, gesturing for me to head in that direction.
We walked together through the door and onto the first floor. There was a feeling of more energy in the air and I noticed that I could hear the low chatter of people talking and laughing, a sound that had all but died out by the time that Lucille fired me.
“Things seem to be better,” I said.
Hunter shrugged and guided me onto the elevator. As soon as we stepped out, I knew that he was leading me toward Lucille’s office.
“You can wait in the reception area,” Hunter said.
I reached out and grabbed onto his elbow.
“You would tell me if something horrible was about to happen, wouldn’t you?” I asked. “I mean, if you knew that I was about to walk into an ambush or something, you would let me know. Send a code or something?”
Hunter laughed and peeled my fingers away from his arm.
“I sincerely doubt you are going to be ambushed,” he said. “To be honest, though, I don’t know why he specifically asked to speak to you.”
It took a second for what Hunter had said to sink in.
“He?” I asked. “What do you mean, he?”
“You haven’t heard?” Hunter asked.
“Heard what?”
“He’s ready for you,” Cindy said from the desk beside the office.
“Heard what?” I asked again even as Hunter put his hand to my back and started guiding me toward the now-repaired door to the office.
“Lucille is no longer in control of Royal and Company,” Hunter said.
“What happened?”
I didn’t put voice to my somewhat shameful hope that she had met some kind of horrible demise, or at least that she had caught something miserable and was holed up in the hospital for the next few years or so.
“The company was taken over,” Hunter explained “It turns out that Walter Royal had been considering selling the company for some time and had been negotiating with the owner of another agency a few cities over. He had been grooming you to act as vice president under the new owner so that the company would continue to run as it always had. When Lucille came along she thought that he was giving her the company for good and was going to go off and retire while she worked. In reality, though, marrying her only convinced him even more that he was ready to go ahead and retire. He put her in control for the time that he would be enjoying his retirement trip, assuming that she would take care of the company and make sure that everything went smoothly in pre
paration for the transition to the new owners and to your promotion before they both retired to enjoy their life together.”
“Somehow I don’t think that she took it well when he told her.”
“Well, what went worse was when she told him that you had been fired. He felt horrible that he hadn’t told you about his plan and that his decision had cost you your position and the future of your career. He came back from his trip immediately, removed her from her position, and finalized the sale to the new owners. One of his conditions was that the new owner’s son consider bringing you back in.”
“His son?”
“Apparently, he wants to have more responsibility in his family’s business so his father handled the negotiations with Mr. Royal, but he is the president now.”
“So that’s why I’m here? Walter pleaded my case to the new owners of the company so they’re calling me in to let me down easy? That should be my second favorite thing that has ever happened in this office.”
“He specifically asked to see you. I don’t know why.”
I nodded and took the few steps to the door. Before I knocked, though, I turned back to Hunter.
“What happened to Lucille?” I asked.
“You didn’t hear it from me, but Mr. Royal had me put in a call to his attorney for a little chat tomorrow afternoon.”
I nodded again and turned back to the door.
Bitch owes me doughnuts. Put it in the settlement terms.
I knocked, but Cindy gestured for me to go ahead in. I turned the knob and stepped inside, stopping short before I was even all the way into the room.
“What are you doing here?” I asked breathlessly.
“Come in,” Noah said from where he sat behind the desk.
I stepped further into the room and closed the door behind me. When I hesitated, he gestured for me to come closer. I took a few steps toward the desk, hesitated again, and then lowered myself into the chair across from him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked again.
I didn’t know what I was supposed to be feeling. I was delighted to see him, but I was also extremely confused and couldn’t seem to make all that was happening fall into place in my mind.
“I promise I didn’t mean to startle you,” Noah said. “I didn’t even know you when my father started negotiations with Walter.”
“Your father?” I asked, things starting to clarify a little. “You’re the president of the company now?”
He nodded.
“My father has been negotiating to buy Royal and Company as the first company that I would run for almost a year.”
“I thought that you were a baker,” I said.
“I am,” Noah said. “That is my passion. Advertising has been my family’s business for generations. As long as I go along with it and do my share of the work, I can bake on my free time. I paid my own way through culinary school and bought my own kitchen.”
“And your foray into The Enchanted Woods?” I asked.
I was inexplicably feeling angry, as if he had somehow betrayed me with decisions that he made before he even knew me, decisions that were truly no different than ones that I had made for myself.
“I wanted a chance to cook,” he told me. “I’m too well-known around my city to work in a kitchen there. I’ve kept in touch with one of my mentors from school and he told me about an opportunity that he knew about…”
I held up a hand to stop him. I couldn’t have this conversation right now. Seeing him without warning had hit me with far more emotion than I was prepared to experience, and I couldn’t handle it right at that moment. It was too much. I stood up, shaking my head.
“I can’t do this, Noah. I don’t know you at all.”
“Wasn’t that the point?”
I felt tears spring to my eyes at the comment and turned away from him, starting to the door.
“Snow, please,” he said. I paused, but didn’t turn back around. I closed my eyes, trying to control the emotion that I was feeling. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I only meant that neither of us really know each other because that’s the way that it was supposed to be, but that’s not how I want it to be. Please. Come to my house tonight. Talk to me. I can’t just let you walk away without having a chance. That’s all I’m asking. Just a chance.”
I hesitated, unsure of what I was supposed to say. My first impulse was to just keep going, to put it all behind me and try to find a new life bolstered by what I had learned and experienced at the retreat. I realized, though, that if I was truly going to follow what I had learned, I was going to be true to myself and to my feelings and push ahead, ready to find whatever might be waiting on the other side.
I turned to face him and nodded.
“Alright,” I said.
He smiled and I felt my heart flutter. He scribbled something on a sticky note and offered it to me.
“Here’s my address. Eight?”
I took the note.
“I’ll see you then.”
I wanted to hug him. I just wanted to be close to him. Instead, I turned back and rushed out of the office, moving past Cindy and Hunter before they could ask me any questions and left the building, dialing Robin even before my feet touched the pavement.
“Somehow I was expecting something else.”
I reached for another slice of pizza and pulled it toward me, dropping it onto the plate in my lap before taking up the shaker of parmesan cheese and giving the slice a liberal coating.
“I’m sorry,” Noah said from the carpet where he sat. “I was planning something more elaborate, but I ended up at the office longer than I thought.”
“No,” I said, sinking my teeth into the slice and sighing at the rich flavor that filled my mouth. “This is perfect. It’s the most incredible pizza I’ve ever had.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
We ate in silence for a few more moments and then I dabbed my mouth with a napkin before slipping my plate onto the coffee table in front of me.
“Why did you ask me here tonight, Noah?”
He glanced over his shoulder at me and lowered his plate to the table beside mine.
“I wanted to see you again,” he said. “I needed to give you an explanation.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Yes, I do. I did everything that I could at the Woods to tell you how I feel about you. You rejected me at every turn.”
“I didn’t reject you, Noah. I acknowledged that both of us signed contracts that prevented us from spending any more time together than was arranged. That’s it.”
“Look, I told you that I was a last-minute fill-in for another man that was supposed to be in your experience.”
“Yes,” I said. “I remember.”
“That’s the truth. I was there because I wanted to cook. That was it. I found out about the position there and I went for it. I knew that it would only be a matter of time before the deal with the agency was finalized and I would have to spend most of my time at the office. It was my last opportunity to really indulge myself cooking and baking for a while. When I met you, though…. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Then Fawn mentioned that one of the men chosen for you hadn’t shown up and I offered to step in. I wanted to have a chance to spend more time with you than just when I brought your food, but there was more than that.”
“There was?”
“Yes,” he said, turning so that he was on his knees beside the couch where I sat, looking into my eyes. “I offered because I couldn’t stand the idea of another man taking that place. I knew why you were there. I understood. But that doesn’t mean that I wanted someone else to come in and take the time that I wanted.”
My heart clenched at his words. I felt a wave of guilt through my belly.
“I’m sorry,” I started, but Noah shook his head, stopping me.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he said. “What you did was courageous as hell. When you left, though, it killed me. T
hen I saw your picture at Royal and Company when I went for a conference with Lucille to tell her that the final negotiations had started. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. All along, I was delaying getting to where I would have found you.” He stood and reached down to take my hands. “I never want another man to touch you. I never want you to have to search for anything. I want to be able to give it all to you.”
He started backing up, gently pulling me along with him. Staring into each other’s eyes, we made our way through the house until we reached the tall, curving staircase. Noah turned, continuing to hold one of my hands, and guided me up the stairs and down another hallway into a massive bedroom. Without another word, he brought his hands to the sides of my dress and gathered it, peeling it up off of me and dropping it.
The way that Noah looked at me sent a thrill through my body. The green of his eyes had darkened until they looked like velvet and his long dark eyelashes were hanging low with desire. This wasn't what I had anticipated when I had agreed to come to his house to talk with him. I had truly thought that even with his declarations in the office, I was going to be able to maintain a distance from him, to temper my emotions and accept that whatever had happened between us couldn’t possibly be real. Until this moment, standing in his bedroom with my clothes at my feet, I had thought that I had control over the desire that had been increasing within me since the first moment that I had seen him. I believed that no matter how intensely attracted to him I was, I could resist Noah and keep our relationship at a professional level. Maybe one day we could learn to be friendly.
