“I told you I was tired of these games,” he growled. “Now put the knife down and finish taking off your dress.”
“It isn’t a knife. It’s a cleaning tool, but I wouldn’t expect you to know the difference.” I pressed harder, barely able to restrain myself. “And I’ll use it unless you swear to never touch me again.” I let the blade dip into his skin, just enough to draw a dark line of blood.
“You’re as mad as your father!” he cried. He spit a thin stream of saliva that landed on my cheek. “I’ll see you run out of town just like him.”
My hand tightened around the mortar scraper. Anger snapped in my nerves, shooting electric rage though the synapses.
To hell with it.
I thrust the blade into his pale skin until I felt the edge of the flexor tendon attached to his right index finger. A flick of my wrist was all it took—no more pressure than cleaning blood from the mortar. And my God, as wicked and wrong as it was, I enjoyed it.
He howled and crumpled to the floor, clutching his hand. I dropped the mortar scraper, realizing what I had done with a growing horror. I wouldn’t need the scraper anymore. My employment was over.
I found the doorknob behind me, turned it, and ran into the cold November night.
SIX
THE NEXT MORNING I sat in Victoria Gardens with a tattered carpetbag and seven shillings, my entire savings. The carpetbag, a parting gift from Mrs. Bell at my dismissal, was probably worth more than the contents—a few threadbare dresses, Father’s Longman’s Anatomical Reference, my Bible, and the embossed wooden box containing the syringe and a small supply of medication. Only the diamond ring Mother had left me was valuable. I took off my glove to watch it sparkle. I’d have to sell it. Even that would give me lodgings for only a few weeks. And staying in London was no longer an option.
“Oh, Juliet, I’m so sorry.” Lucy jogged across the lawn and collapsed on the bench, throwing her arms around me. She pulled back and touched a gloved hand to my face. “Is it true, what they’re saying?”
I nodded.
She shook her head. “I’m sure he deserved even worse,” she said, her voice brimming with anger. “He’s lucky you didn’t sever his other appendage.”
I gave a weak smile. But not even Lucy’s friendship could get me out of this mess, and we both knew it. Dr. Hastings had gone straight to the police, wanting to have me arrested. Mrs. Bell had shown up at my lodging house an hour before dawn, banging on the door so hard that even Annie woke. She thrust the carpetbag into my hand along with the week’s wages and told me to leave town before the police came inquiring.
A man reeking of whiskey passed by our bench, and I hugged the carpetbag closer. My chest felt hollow. How would I even leave? I hadn’t money for a train, and surely my reputation would follow me. I’d never find employment as a maid again.
“What will you do?” Lucy asked.
I fiddled with the carpetbag’s leather handle. “It’s either the workhouse, or …” I didn’t need to finish. My mind drifted to the girl outside the Blue Boar Inn, with the hollow eyes and stained silk dress.
Lucy pushed a few coins into my hand. “I took these from my father’s desk. It’ll get you as far as Bedford. There must be something you can do. A shopgirl, maybe.”
I counted the coins. Enough for the train, but not room or board. I’d have to spend the night in the station, and from there it was a short—and usually forced—leap to the gutter. Had my mother faced a similar dilemma? She’d done what she did out of desperation, and at least it kept us clothed and fed. My father had left with no note, no parting words, nothing. Was he really the kind of man to simply walk away from his family? Was he really the monster they said he was?
The truth was, I knew next to nothing about him. He was little more than a hazy memory and a slew of scandalous rumors. But he was alive. Out there, across oceans. Living. Breathing. For the first time in my life, I could simply ask him if the rumors I’d heard about him were true.
Lucy glanced across the park. Her mother had caught sight of us and was striding straight through the grass. My stomach tightened. If Mrs. Radcliffe didn’t approve of me before, she must positively detest me now.
Lucy jumped up, her face suddenly white. She pressed her cheek against mine, hard. “Write to me, won’t you?” She was breathless. “Let me know where you’ve gone? I’ll try to send money. I’ll try to visit, wherever you are.”
Mrs. Radcliffe was so close I could see the clench of her jaw, and I pushed Lucy away. “Go. Now. I’ll write. I promise.”
Lucy dashed across the lawn to stop her mother. I grabbed the carpetbag and hurried the other way, dragging its weight along the length of the Thames. Lucy’s mother said something biting, but I swallowed hard and didn’t look back.
I kept walking, past the bridge and Temple Bar, where the archway used to stand. I crossed Cable Street to the main thoroughfare, to an inn with a swinging sign above the door. I pushed my way in, past the crowded dining room, and climbed to the second floor. I knocked. Then I pounded. The mirror beside the door reflected my wild desperation.
I should have told Lucy she couldn’t visit. Where I was going, she couldn’t come. It was a bit farther than Bedford.
Montgomery opened the door, clearly surprised. “Miss Moreau. What are you doing here?”
The carpetbag fell at his feet. My heart was racing.
“I’m coming with you,” I said.
EARLY THE NEXT DAY, our carriage rumbled south of town to the Isle of Dogs. I pushed aside the gauzy curtain. Outside, the massive hull of a cargo steamer rose toward the sky, dwarfing the fleet of barges that clustered around the dock. Everywhere men swarmed like insects, hawking services or bearing trunks twice their size.
Beside me, Montgomery compared a handful of banknotes against a small ledger, erasing and redoing sums with a frown. I wondered if he thought me a burden.
He looked up, as if sensing my question. The carriage lurched, and the ledger slid from his lap. We both reached for it, our hands grazing. I pulled back.
“It’s not too late to change your mind,” he said.
I shook my head and concentrated on the ships outside. I’d made my decision. We had argued all day and night since I had shown up at his door. He’d flatly refused at first. He said the voyage was long, with a rough crew, and the island was no place for a lady. I told him I certainly wasn’t a lady, thanks to my father’s abandonment, and it was either the island or the streets. Or worse, prison. I didn’t tell Montgomery my other motive, the one deep within my rib cage that beat in time with my heart: The world knew my father as a villain. I knew him as a thin man in a tweed suit who carried me on his shoulders during the Royal Guard’s parades. I needed to know which man my father was—the monster, or the misunderstood genius.
In the end, Montgomery conceded only when I dragged him to the window and pointed out the prostitute my age. He said nothing of how Father would receive me on the island, and I didn’t press.
“Is our ship like any of those?” I nodded toward the magnificent four-masted cruisers lined up in port.
Montgomery barely glanced at them before giving a hint of a smile. “I’m afraid not.”
“It’s an older ship?”
“Most likely. The reputable ships turn us away. They don’t like Balthazar’s appearance. Nor our destination.”
Outside, the relative order of Union Docks gave way to a more run-down part of the wharf. I covered my nose against the smell of rotting fish. Here, the docks were crammed with rusted parts and torn netting. There were no women—even the prostitutes stuck to the better end of the quay.
As we came around the bend, Montgomery pointed to a hulking two-masted brigantine docked alone at the Isle of Dogs. “There,” he said. “The Curitiba.” I frowned. It looked far too old and neglected to sail more than halfway across the Pacific. A windy storm might blow holes straight through it.
The driver stopped the carriage and we paid him a few coins. He see
med glad to leave us.
“There’s Balthazar,” I said, shading my eyes. He sat by the gangway on a steamer trunk that looked more like a child’s toy chest next to his size. A rabble of dirty sailors threw him uncertain glances as they dawdled around the rest of the cargo; rough as they looked, even they gave Balthazar a wide berth. A skeletal older man with a grizzly beard stumbled down the gangway in a mildewing black jacket that looked robbed from the dead. He stopped in his tracks at the sight of Balthazar and went the other way.
“Is that our crew?” I asked Montgomery hesitantly.
“Afraid so.”
“They look a shady bunch. Good thing Balthazar could knock them flat if they tried anything.” I watched as Balthazar hoisted the trunk and carried it onto the ship.
“He’s not a fighter. But luckily for us, they don’t know that.” From the rigid outline of the muscles beneath his shirt, I realized Montgomery probably could have knocked them all flat, too. He was no longer the gentle-natured little boy who caught kitchen mice and placed them outside to save them from the cat’s sharp teeth.
He took my carpetbag. “Come on. Lady or not, I’m going to lock you in your cabin. I don’t trust this lot.”
I followed closely. My head spun as we crossed the gangway to the deck. A short walk, but a scary one. The ship’s odd swaying made my legs quake. There were a handful of men on deck, though I hesitated to call them sailors. Pirates might have been more accurate. Montgomery pulled me out of the way of two men loading a trunk.
“You’ll get used to the rocking in a few days,” he said, leading me toward the quarterdeck. My mind whirled at his easy confidence. He carried himself almost as surely as the sailors, though he was far younger than most.
A monstrous barking tore through the air, and I nearly leapt into his arms. A pair of cages stood on the deck, containing three snarling bloodhounds and one matted sheepdog who barely lifted its head, a web of drool dangling from its jowls.
“Quiet,” Montgomery called to the dogs, and then turned to me. “Stay here. I’ll find the captain.” He wove around the cargo toward the rear of the ship.
The dogs had stopped barking at his order. I was surprised to find more cages beyond them. A panther, black fur matted with filth, flattened its ears and hissed from between the bars. And beside it was a small sloth that opened one sleepy eye and shut it again. And others. A monkey. Rabbits. A capybara—an enormous rodent I’d only read about.
I stepped closer, brushing my fingers against the monkey’s cage, both incredulous and uneasy at the same time. A movement caught my eye as Balthazar poked his head up from the hold. He hurried toward me.
“Stay away from the cages, miss,” he said in his coarse English. “It isn’t safe.” A tarpaulin had slid off the sloth’s cage, and Balthazar replaced it with great care. “It doesn’t like the sun,” he explained, patting the cage gently.
“These are for my father, aren’t they?” I asked. My uneasiness grew. “For his research.”
Balthazar scratched his ear. Folded his mouth tight. Didn’t answer.
I told myself there were plenty of legitimate reasons a scientist might want live specimens. It didn’t mean, necessarily, that the animals were intended for vivisection. I caught sight of Montgomery coming back toward me, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him. I wasn’t sure I was ready to learn what types of boundaries my father might have crossed out there in the dark, silent sea.
“Come meet the captain,” Montgomery called, waving me aft, where the grizzly-bearded man waited for us at the hold. The man swayed slightly. The cloying stench of alcohol hovered around him like yellow London fog.
I climbed around the cages and cargo, my steps uneasy on the swaying deck.
Montgomery took my hand to help me over a coil of line. “Miss Moreau, this is Captain Claggan. He’ll show us to our quarters.”
The captain eyed me closely, either shortsighted or sizing me up. “Damn wild animals,” the captain muttered. “Damn lass. Ain’t good luck, I say. If you hadn’t paid up front …” He spit to the side and led us down a steep ladder into a low hallway darker than a coffin. “Crew’s quarters at the rear. My cabin’s up top, below the quarterdeck. The hold’s below.” He tapped his foot on a trapdoor.
He stopped at a closed door and jiggled the latch, then threw his shoulder against it with a curse. The door swung open into a tiny room with a small bed and desk, so cramped I could feel the heat from Montgomery’s body.
“You’re all staying in here together, eh?” The captain leered. Blood rose to my cheeks.
“My man and I will sleep above deck, if the weather holds,” Montgomery answered, a hint of red at his cheeks, too. An unwed young man and woman sharing a room together only meant one thing to the sailors.
The captain smirked and left.
Montgomery set the bags on the bed. “We should have free run of the ship, except the crew quarters and the boatswain’s hold. Just the same, I’d rather you stay here. It’s safer. Passengers have been rumored to disappear under Captain Claggan’s watch.” He hesitated, and I wondered if he might try to talk me out of coming one last time. It was so strange to see him like this, almost grown, capable beyond his years. He couldn’t have had much of a childhood. So much strength had to hide some sort of vulnerability. But then he brushed past me to the door before I could finish my thought. “I’ll be back once we’ve left port.”
I closed the door behind him. My stomach was rolling. I let myself fall onto the bed. By the time I awoke, we were already at sea.
SEVEN
MONTGOMERY WAS RIGHT—IT TOOK time to grow accustomed to the ship’s movement. For the first few days I could barely sit up in bed. Montgomery lashed a lantern to the desk and left a bucket by the bed, though he quickly learned to lash that down, too. Balthazar brought me food from the galley, but I couldn’t stomach the rock-hard dried meat and slimy canned vegetables. At last Montgomery brought up a tin of Worthington’s biscuits from Father’s cargo. It was the only thing besides water I could keep down, and the water turned rancid after two weeks. From then on, it was bitter beer.
After over a month in the dark, cramped cabin, I started going above deck once a day for fresh air and sunlight, but the smell of turpentine and piss usually drove me back even before the sailors started leering. Montgomery came down sometimes, but the ship was shorthanded and the captain kept him and Balthazar busy above deck, never mind that they were paying passengers. Montgomery did the work without complaint. The dogs barked incessantly. I thought I’d gotten used to the ship’s rocking, and even believed we’d make it to the island with no incidents—until the storm hit.
That night the waves sent the ship tossing and made sleep impossible. Every lurch had me clutching the sides of the bed to keep from falling, and my stomach felt flipped upside down. I couldn’t imagine what was happening above deck. The animals must be going wild, or else terrified and huddled in the corners of their cages. Not so different from how I felt.
Someone pounded at the door. I stumbled across the dark room to let in Montgomery and Balthazar, who were drenched to the core. I lit a match for the lantern, but the ship lurched and the flame wavered and sputtered before catching. Montgomery bolted the door against water creeping in. He pulled off his shirt, cursing and shivering.
As the weeks passed, I’d spent more time above deck, and it wasn’t uncommon for the sailors to go shirtless. But this wasn’t some stranger. This was Montgomery. It was hard to keep my eyes from trailing back to steal glances at his bare chest.
He wrung out his shirt and hung it over the back of the wooden chair to dry. “It’s a squall,” he said. “Captain’s ordered all but a handful below. Damn drunkard. We lost a trunk over the side before he thought to batten everything down.”
I sank onto the bed and pulled a blanket around my chemise. It didn’t cover my ankles, which I tucked underneath me. Montgomery might be accustomed to showing his bare skin, but I wasn’t.
Balthazar san
k to the floor and rested his head against the wall. He didn’t seem to care that he was drenched. His trousers and white shirt were now just one dull shade of dirty gray.
Montgomery pulled out the desk chair. His skin glowed in the lantern light. The first time I’d seen him in London, I’d noticed how tanned his skin was for a gentleman in winter. He looked considerably less like a gentleman now. Sunburned shoulders. Salt ringing the hem of his trousers. Hair tangled and loose, and an edge in his handsome blue eyes. No wonder he bristled at the idea of staying in London—he was as wild as the caged animals.
We sat in silence, listening to the storm rage. I recalled an old song Lucy used to sing about a fisherman lost in a squall who returned to his beloved as a ghost. I didn’t realize I was humming the tune until Montgomery leaned back and closed his eyes.
“That’s nice,” he said.
“It’s just an old song.”
“Well, don’t stop. Please.”
But I was too embarrassed to continue. Montgomery toyed with the lantern’s latch, raising the flame to a blaze and then back to a whisper of light. When we were children, I could tell what he was thinking even without words. Now his thoughts were a puzzle to me.
“Do you still play piano?” he asked at last.
It took me by surprise. “It’s been a few years.”
“We have one on the island. It’s probably out of tune. I never had an ear for music like you.”
My cheeks warmed at the thought of him remembering that I played. “How did you manage to bring a piano to an island?”
“It wasn’t easy. I hadn’t a clue what I was doing, but I wasn’t going to tell the merchants that. I’d chipped three keys and broken a leg by the time we reached the island.” He paused, and I blushed as I realized he was staring at my bare ankles, which had drifted free of the blanket. I tucked them under me.
“The piano’s limb, I should say,” he said curtly, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the presence of a lady.”
The Madman's Daughter (Madman's Daughter - Trilogy) Page 5
