by NAK Baldron
His struggle to read wasn't helping, and despite staying up late into the night, he kept falling further and further behind the rest of the group. The third book list arrived that morning as a rude wake up call.
Undistracted
Mindfulness through the Ages
The Mind of a Sorcerer
They'd been apprentices for almost six weeks and the team was counting on him to pull his weight. Beyond their expectations for him he needed to succeed if he wanted any chance of returning to the Pearl Nation.
Thankfully, Brandon wasn't here to see him wasting this opportunity.
Ren knocked on the door to Shaya's room.
"Yes," she called out.
"It's me," Ren said. "Can I come in?"
After an uncomfortable moment, Shaya opened the door, welcoming him in.
Her room was across the hall from his, but with the view of the sky out her window, it felt like it was in another city.
Tower be damned, this is a view!
It helps to remind me of home, Shaya transmitted.
Without realizing it, he'd shared his thoughts. Perhaps the magical abilities of Shaya made it easier for her to pick up on them in the first place? Like how sharp hearing can single out whispers in a crowded bar.
"Please, sit," Shaya gestured to the chairs by the window, and Ren followed her lead.
They sat quietly together and admired the clouds outside. The source-light was on the opposite side of the city behind the tower, which cast a warm glow upon the clouds, giving them a welcoming appearance.
One day I want to fly through those clouds like a bird, Shaya transmitted.
Ren looked away from the clouds to her—brought out of his dark thoughts. Yes, it would be nice to feel a cloud.
We've already done that. When the fog rolled in heavy upon the field, and we couldn't see more than three steps ahead of us. I'm confident that was a cloud engulfing the island.
A smile filled Ren's face and with it came a rush of relief. Somehow, she'd known how to pull him out of his thoughts.
If I could fly, I think I would stay out of the clouds. Too cold and wet. I got enough of that back home. I don't need any more of it.
Shaya reached out and grabbed Ren's hand, "Don't worry about the test. I know you're doing your best, and that in a life or death situation you can do it. But you need to learn how to control your powers without the pressure of life and death on you."
Ren's cheeks flushed. He knew she was right, but at the same time couldn't help but admire her beauty. With all the stress of studying and long nights in the library, he hadn't given his attraction much thought. He remembered the promise he made himself. There was no way he would risk Akio's wrath—no matter how beautiful she was. Besides, there was no way Shaya found him attractive. She'd called him a child more than once.
Adaku on the other hand.
Where are you? Shaya transmitted.
"Sorry," Ren pulled his hand away. "Lost in thought. Thank you for understanding. I know you're right, I'm just not sure why I can't focus during practice."
"Have you tried reading up on it?" Shaya asked. "The books Nadia has recommended have proven enlightening, though I didn't have any practice before arriving here."
"Oh, Brandon didn't know squat compared to what they teach here. It's not that the books aren't helpful..."
He couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth, and let an uncomfortable silence spread between them.
"Yes?" She urged.
"... I just need to practice more." Ren stood to leave and gave Shaya a curt bow. Here in the Amethyst Nation she wasn't Kaito-Tanken Shaya, rather plain Apprentice Shaya, but Ren needed to remind himself of his oath. A little pressure on his honor might be just the kind of motivation he needed to perform his magic again.
Before he reached the door, Shaya said, "I'm sorry we haven't spent more time together outside of studying."
Ren turned back, "Don't be. We're all being pushed to learn and perform at the highest level. I'm sure you're just as stressed as I am; you just hide it better."
Shaya laughed. "Years of training by my mother."
It was a relief to see her so relaxed. Being a lowly apprentice meant she could follow her passions for once and not be forced to consider the larger political ramifications. Not that Ren had the first clue about politics. But he did know it weighed on her, from their talks back in Shinzo. She considered herself indebted to him for saving her, but Ren still considered himself indebted to her, for getting him into the Amethyst Nation in the first place. Without her help, he would have spent the rest of his life rotting in a damn dungeon.
* * *
DINNER WAS AN EXTRAVAGANT FEAST of wild buffalo from the grass plains of the Emerald Nation—which covered the center mass of the continent; sautéed medley of root vegetables from the Emerald Nation's southern cities: carrots, beets, onions, and potatoes—smothered in goat butter from the Ruby Nation; a dark blackberry wine was served chilled—another Ruby Nation contribution; for dessert a cherry pie from the Sapphire Nation. The staff must have noticed their progress this week to provide such food.
Ren's stomach threatened to burst, while the wine made his head feel tight. Not that he regretted the feast. If he could have fit more in his stomach, he would still be eating. The four of them dined together, but after she finished Adaku tried to join her brother. Ren couldn't blame her for trying to smooth things over with Abaze. He may be an ass, but he was also her brother, and family came first. Or so he imagined. Not having a family of his own, he couldn't know how it worked in practice.
"I can't eat another bite," Goban laid his cutlery on the plate, and took a long drink from his wine cup. "My brothers would be envious if they could see me eating like this. Only the king and queen eat this well."
"I didn't know you had brothers," Ren said.
"Oh, yes," Goban said. "I'm the youngest of my four brothers, and I have two younger sisters too."
"There are seven of you?" Shaya asked.
"Yes," Goban said.
"Is that normal in the Ruby Nation?"
"Well..." Goban thought about it. "I think so. All of my uncles have five or more children, and my friends all have several brothers and sisters, so yes."
Ren was just as shocked as Shaya appeared to be.
"In the Sapphire Nation, no one has more than four children."
"Why not?" Goban asked.
"It's against the teachings of Sueun," Shaya said. "It would disrupt the balance of the castes. If everyone had as many children as they wanted, the islands would be overflowing with people in only a few generations."
That must be why no one has large families in the Pearl Nation either.
"That seems sad to me," Goban said. "I love having a large family. There's always someone to play with."
Goban let out a high-pitched laugh which caused his voice to crack, and he ended up coughing. Another large gulp of wine finished off his glass and stopped the coughing fit. Ren was shocked by how much Goban could drink—he couldn't have more than a glass without feeling it, and even then, sometimes a single glass was too much.
"I'm going to get to bed early," Shaya stood and stretched. "Maybe catch up on some reading."
The doors to the dining hall opened, and Nadia walked in. "I have excellent news. Due to your hard work, and the significant progress from most of you," her eyes shot to Ren. "It has been decided you have earned mail privileges. If you write letters tonight, I can show you tomorrow where you can send them from.
"As for your studies, tomorrow will be an off day. The morning will be warm, and the afternoon hot. Feel free to spend the day in the courtyard, many of the sorcerers will, but none of them will cross into the apprentice's section.
"I expect you all to be on your best behavior, and not cause a scene," she looked to Abaze this time. "Prove yourselves responsible apprentices, and you can earn more privileges and freedoms. Perhaps even access to the city at large. Act like immature children, and I will s
ee to it you spend your days locked away in this building.
"Clear?"
"Yes," the five of them said in unison.
"Enjoy your evening," Nadia didn't wait around for them to ask questions—the doors closed behind her of their own accord.
"Well," Shaya said. "New plans. I've been waiting to send mail. Good night."
"Night," Ren said.
Goban burped as he tried to speak, and Shaya cracked the faintest of smiles. This place was helping her to relax and enjoy herself. The fact that she didn't feel the need to wear her face of stone all the time spoke volumes.
"What are you going to do?" Goban asked. "Who will you write to first?"
Ren thought about it. If anyone, he would write to Brandon, but he wasn't sure what he would say. A general update on his lack of progress? That didn't seem like a fun way to spend his evening. No. Ren would do what he'd been doing for the past few weeks—study in the library.
"No," Ren said. "I'm going to use the extra time to study."
"Want some help?"
This wasn't the first time Goban had offered to help him with apparently no strings attached. Pride and fear made him reject Goban in the past, but with the prospect of letting everyone down, Ren didn't really have a choice.
"Yes," Ren said. "That would be great."
* * *
"I CAN'T READ THESE BOOKS," REN SAID.
Goban stared at him, mouth half open.
"I don't mean I can't read," Ren continued. "I mean that when I read it's hard for me to focus on the words. It takes me four or five times as long to read a book as someone else.
"Back home it was never an issue. We don't use paper books. We have the technology that allows us to store thousands of books in the size of one."
Goban's mouth hung fully open. "But I thought the Pearl Nation lost its magic."
"It's not magic. It's technology."
"Wait, What?"
Ren realized this conversation was heading down an impossible tangent. There was no way for Goban to understand what he was talking about without visiting the Pearl Nation and seeing it for himself first hand.
"It's not important," Ren said. "The books I read back home were all on a glowing screen. Like a mirror, but the pages of a book show instead of your face."
Goban's eyes lit up with understanding.
"My point is that back home I had no problem reading, but I'd never needed to read books in paper form until I arrived here, and now that I need to, it turns out I can't. Or at least not efficiently."
A cold fear gripped Ren's stomach as his secret lingered between them. He worried Goban would laugh at him now, and tell the others what a loser he was, and Shaya would regret ever taking him into her clan. Nadia would kick him out of the Amethyst Nation, and Brandon would be disappointed in him for wasting his time and money. The Belfrys would see to it that he spent his life as a servant paying off the debt he owed them.
"I can help you," Goban said with a smile. "I'm a fast reader. I can read the books first and then point out the key passages you need to read. The books before now, I can just summarize for you. How far behind are you?"
"Usually I'm able to read one book from the list and maybe skim the intro of the others."
"Oh," Goban's brow furrowed. "No wonder...
"Easy enough. We'll go through the list of books, and I'll summarize them for you. The parts you don't understand, we'll find the book, and you can read the portion you need."
"Really?" Ren asked.
"Of course," Goban said. "We're a team, right?"
Ren held his hand out, and Goban clapped hold of his wrist. They shook and solidified their team bond.
They spent well into the night pouring through books, but Goban managed to help Ren catch up on much of their past reading. He still needed to practice the mindfulness the texts spoke of, and find a way to silence his doubts, but at least he understood the principles. The first step toward becoming the greatest sorcerer the Pearl Nation had ever produced—check! Making a friend for life, check!
For once in his life, Ren's prospects were looking optimistic, rather than dreary.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
KAITO-TANKEN AKIO,
You should be receiving this in conjunction with another letter I wrote beforehand. They cut us off from outside contact until this point.
I trust you've been upholding the clan's honor, and doing as you see fit with our holdings. Being away from Shinzo is proving harder than I imagined. The lack of your council has been most troubling.
Ren isn't adapting well, and seems to have developed a block from being able to use his powers. The constant demand for learning and practice means we don't have much time to socialize. He is under such stress that I wouldn't want to burden him further with my own issues.
Have you found an advisor of your own? Don't try to hold in your concerns and run the clan by yourself. I know I left you ill prepared to take over, but you must find your own First Sworn. I'll return as soon as possible. Stronger than ever. But until that day, it's up to you Akio.
Stay Strong,
— Shaya
She folded the letter into a tiny square, and used the wax provided to seal it, but without a mark. The clan seal she would normally use was back in Shinzo, and now the property of Akio.
A hard truth to accept.
* * *
NADIA HADN'T EXAGGERATED. The source-light bathed the courtyard in a hot golden light, and it appeared that nearly every sorcerer was outside enjoying the fine weather. Over one hundred sorcerers walked about on the other side of the courtyard past the fountain—only a few wore their robes, most choosing to wear far more revealing outfits. Not unlike those worn on the smaller islands of the Sapphire Nation—highly practical, but too undignified to be seen on Shinzo.
After nearly an hour of tanning in the light, Shaya saw Nadia crossing the boundary line from the main courtyard to the apprentice's side. Dressed in a tight-fitting top, which revealed her pale stomach and shorts, Nadia looked like a woman on vacation, not the sorcerer in charge of the new batch of apprentices.
"Hello," Nadia said cheerfully, "Are you enjoying the warmth?"
"Yes," Shaya said.
It had been so long since she felt the warmth of the source-light and her body had missed it dearly. Aside from the rainy season, Shinzo was always warm during the day, and cool at night. Perfect weather by all accounts. Even from those few tourists they received.
Shaya got to her feet as Nadia was passing, who turned back. "Are you waiting on me?"
"I have two letters," Shaya produced them from inside her pants.
A semi-translucent blouse was as far as she was willing to push etiquette. As a former Thief Lord, the other Thief Lords would expect her to carry herself with dignity befitting the station, and dressing as a commoner on the beach wouldn't do. Failure to live up to their expectations would make Akio's position even more precarious, and she refused to do anything else that would make his life harder.
Nadia took the letters and flipped them over to read whom they were addressed too. "I will see to it that Kaito-Tanken Akio receives these."
"Thank you," Shaya bowed.
"It must be hard on you."
"Excuse me?"
Nadia continued walking away and called over her back, "Giving up your position as Kaito-Tanken."
Shaya opened her mouth to speak, but no words came forth. There was nothing to say to that. She hadn't realized Nadia knew of her past.
Do all the sorcerers know?
Shaya watched as Nadia walked to the twins.
Are they fighting?
CHAPTER TWELVE
IF ONLY THE GRASS WERE TALLER.
Adaku missed the fields outside her father's city—the long expanse of golden grass swaying in the breeze from the coast. Grass, as far as the eye could see.
Here in the Amethyst Nation, their grass was short and well groomed, rather than tall and wild. The grass of her homeland symbolized her people, whose
bodies had fertilized the land for thousands of years. In some regards she and her people were that grass. They lived off their livestock, and the livestock lived off the grass.
What's the plan? Abaze transmitted.
Adaku looked up from the grass under her toes, to find her brother standing before her. Anger boiling underneath the surface of his eyes.
Why is he always filled with rage?
Ever since their naming days, Abaze had been an angry man. More than once their father's court advisors covered up Abaze's indiscretions—in essence condoning his actions. At least two young men about the same age as him, were living off of stipends paid by the treasury because Abaze had lost his temper and permanently crippled them.
All life has value, but not in his eyes.
"What is the plan for the test?" Abaze asked.
"None of your concern."
Adaku immediately took a step away from her brother. She'd not intended to rile him up with a quip. It had slipped out on its own. They were in public before all the cities sorcerers, she didn't think he would hurt her here. But he might. Would he hurt her later?
"This is no game," Abaze darkened his voice. "Father expects us to become sorcerers and to do that it would appear I have to pass a team test with the likes of them."
"They're nice people."
"Shaya's nice looking perhaps," he said off handedly. "But they're not nobility like you and I. They can't be trusted."
He stepped forward, and she took a step backward to keep the same distance between them. Anger still burned behind his eyes, and she couldn't be sure that anger wasn't directed toward her.
"We're learning telepathy so we can work together," she said. "I'm going to teach them how to send their thoughts to multiple people all at once."
"That's an advance technique and—"
"I know," she said, "But they're sorcerers like us. They're allowed to know."
"Are you sure we're supposed to know?" he asked.
Nadia was walking toward them, "Maybe we ask her if it's okay?" Abaze teased.
Don't be an ass, Adaku transmitted. If you would've read the required reading for this test, you'd be aware that it is what we are supposed to learn to pass but I guess you need me to do that for you still huh?
