by Amy Sumida
“Are we skiing again?” I asked Darc as I stretched in bed.
He was at the foot of the bed—well, at my feet since the bed didn't really have a distinguishable head or foot—wearing the cold weather gear and holding the skis we'd bought the day before.
“Yes, but not on Earth,” he said. “Hurry up; I have breakfast packed, and I'm eager to be off.”
I looked down at the basket by his feet and laughed. “Don't you want to take a day to relax?”
“I don't need time to relax. Do you?” He asked with the air of a challenge.
“Nope.” I hopped out of bed. “I'm good.”
Darc smiled brilliantly, and my heart sped up. Each day endeared him more to me; especially when he smiled at me like that.
When I was ready, Darc took my hand but left the basket near his feet. I couldn't grab it because I was holding my skis.
“What about breakfast?” I nodded to the basket.
“I will bring it along.” He cocked his head at me. “Do you think I need to be holding an item to move it?”
“I had assumed so; yes.” I looked pointedly at our clasped hands.
“This is merely for my pleasure,” he squeezed my hand. “I could transport you with a thought—so long as you didn't try to oppose me. I don't believe our breakfast will fight against its transportation.”
I gaped at him.
“What is it?” He frowned.
“I just realized how...” I just shook my head in wonder.
“How powerful I am?” He asked with surprise. “I thought that was obvious by the fact that I'm a god.”
“No; how patient you've been,” I whispered. “You could have simply brought me back here at any time, couldn't you?”
“Yes, but what good would that have done when you had no desire to be here?” Darc asked gently. “I would never take you somewhere against your will.”
“You threatened to keep me here,” I reminded him.
“That was said in anger and frustration.” He sighed. “Are you going to harbor animosity toward me for it? I did act rationally after I'd calmed.”
“No; of course, I won't hold that against you,” I said as I took his hand more firmly. “I'm just amazed that someone with so much power can be so... good.”
“You think I'm good?” He lifted his brows.
“I know you're good.” I nodded and then frowned. “Which makes me wonder what type of person—type of goddess—I was that our children would rebel against us.”
“That was both of us—”
“I remember what you said.” I held up a hand to stop him. “But I think you're being kind again.”
“I told you what happened with the Shining Ones,” Darc said chidingly. “It was a misunderstanding; neither side was good or bad in their actions. We all did what we thought was best.”
“All right,” I whispered, but something inside me clenched in fear... of myself.
“Forget that for now,” he whispered and pulled me against his side. “I have something to show you.”
Darc shadowed us to a mountaintop covered in soft snow. It was frigid and hard to breathe, but it was also very beautiful. I wandered toward the edge and looked down a steep drop that rounded at the bottom and curved up to another peak.
“It looks like a halfpipe,” I said to Darc when he joined me.
“A what?”
“A ramp that kids use to skate and ride bicycles on,” I explained. “They ride up the angle to launch themselves into the air and then circle back onto the ramp.”
“Similar to what I had in mind,” he said with a grin. “Over that crest, the mountain drops into a ravine but this ridge here”—he pointed to a slender extension of the mountain—“juts out toward the edge of your halfpipe. I thought we could try jumping.”
“Um, hello, Mr. Adrenaline Junkie,” I huffed. “Please remember that I can still die.”
“That is in my thoughts constantly,” Darc whispered as he brushed back a strand of hair that had escaped my ponytail. “I will catch you if you fall. I will always catch you; I swear it.”
“That's really beautiful and romantic,” I said as I stretched up on my toes to kiss him. Then I drew back and asked dubiously, “But, how are you going to actually catch me if I fall into the ravine?”
“Have you already forgotten that I can transport you without touching you?” He winked at me. “Just don't fight me trying to save you.”
“All right; I won't fight you,” I whispered.
“If only that meant what I wish it meant.” Darc laid his forehead against mine.
“I'm not fighting you,” I said gently. “I'm fighting your stubbornness.”
Darc started to protest when the ground started to tremble. I stared up at him with wide eyes, but he grinned brilliantly and started to search the surrounding area.
“Look.” He pointed to an upward arching rock formation below us.
It was covered in snow. At least, I thought it was snow. As we watched, the snow moved and lifted up into the air. Snowflakes drifted off a massive body as a long neck swung out; bringing forth a graceful head that had been tucked away beneath a wing. Large, black eyes stared at us out of the sleek head, and a fragile-sounding cry emerged from an ebony beak that was as long as my legs. Feathered wings spread out from its puffy body as it glided over us. I stared up as it passed by, but I couldn't find its feet. All I could see was its misty underbelly. And snow; it snowed on us.
I held out my hand and caught a snowflake that floated down from the wintry beast. Then I looked at Darcraxis for an answer.
“It's a snowbird,” Darc said softly as he smiled after it.
I followed his gaze to see the bird circle the highest mountain peaks—leaving a blanket of white in its wake—and then find another place to roost. It floated down onto its perch like one of the snowflakes it shed and then settled back to slumber; tucking its head away and becoming a pile of white again. If I hadn't just watched it land, I wouldn't have been able to spot it.
“It's beautiful,” I said.
“We only made a handful of them,” he murmured. “And they don't breed often so seeing one is rare.”
“Then this is a fortunate start to our day,” I declared.
“It is,” he agreed. “You should feel more confident about jumping the gap now.”
“I'm confident that the song I have prepared will save me if you don't,” I teased him.
“Have more faith in me, my love.” Darcraxis pulled me into an embrace. “As I have in you.”
The cold and lack of air stopped bothering me as I kissed Darc; all I noticed was the pleasure of his mouth on mine and the way his arms caged me in without feeling like a prison. In fact, I felt free; literally on top of the world.
“See?” Darc asked after we eased out of our kiss.
I frowned at him in confusion.
“Elaria, you just warmed us and brought fresh air to the mountaintop,” he waved a hand around us. “And you did it without my urging. You're learning fast.”
“I did?” I took a deep breath and smiled. “I did! I am!”
“Well done,” Darc said and then laughed. “Now, let's ski the halfpipe!”
Chapter Twenty-One
The next day, I took Darc for that balloon ride. He loved it nearly as much as skiing. But—not to be outdone by Earth—the day after that, Darc declared that we were going flying.
He took me out onto our balcony and held my hand as we stared out across our world.
“Call upon Air and see it lifting you up,” Darc instructed me. “If it makes it easier, you can imagine yourself having wings. All the magic needs is guidance; tell it what you want to do, and it will figure out how to provide you with your desires.”
“Okay,” I said as I closed my eyes.
I saw myself flying; shooting through the air like a superhero. I imagined the air magic filling me; a golden yellow mist that sparked with power. I felt the lightness of it, and when I opened my eyes, I was
floating.
“Excellent!” Darc said as he lifted off his feet to join me.
“You don't have air magic,” I pointed out.
“I have Darkness,” he said with a wave toward his body.
A light film of black coated him.
“If I chose to, I could fly another way; by making myself as light as air,” Darc added. “This body is what I will it to be. I could even...”
Darcraxis suddenly sprouted a pair of enormous, black wings.
“No.” I waved at the wings. “I've had enough of angels. Please; put the wings away.”
“Raphael?” Darc lifted a brow at me.
“Why do you bother asking when you already know?” I shot back.
He shrugged. “I suppose that I like hearing about your life from you. As you said; experiencing something is different than merely observing it.”
“All right,” I gave in. “Then yes; Raphael. I've forgiven him and moved on, but I still have bittersweet memories; some more bitter than sweet. One of the biggest is that he didn't show me his wings until recently.”
“Would it be better if I made them into demon wings?” He asked with a twisted smile.
“Now, you're just messing with me,” I huffed.
“Yes; I'm sorry.” He did away with the wings entirely. “I've literally brought you down.”
I looked down and saw that I was back on the balcony.
“Shall we try again?” He held his hand out to me.
I smiled and took his hand.
We didn't go far; just to the center of the forest where an ancient tree grew up and then curved down to snake along the ground. Darc landed on the upper curve of the trunk and sat; hanging his legs over the side. I landed as well; mightily pleased with myself. I took a deep breath of fresh, pine-scented air before I sat beside him.
“I have another lesson for us to try,” he said hesitantly.
“What?” I asked.
“Creation.” Darc held out his hand and shadows collected in his palm.
I held my breath as a tiny shape formed. Colors seeped into it and details came into focus. Gossamer wings unfolded; three layers on each side. They were iridescent blue and purple with trailing tendrils of bright orange. A thin body was held up by fragile legs, and orange antennae—as frilled as its matching tendrils—stuck out before it. A butterfly, but one of such ethereal beauty that it looked impossible to exist.
“All it needs is your spark,” Darcraxis said as he held out the butterfly to me.
I took a calming breath and focused. My Fire rose, and I was about to release it when Darc's free hand caught mine.
“Not Fire; spark,” he said urgently. “Fire will destroy it; we want it to live.”
“I don't understand,” I said.
“Use the Light,” he said gently.
“Let there be light,” I whispered in revelation.
As soon as the words left my mouth, the butterfly started to glow. Light and Darkness blended together—as they had in my memories—and filled the tiny body with a silver energy. The wings twitched; all three sets moving at once. Then it started to crawl across Darc's palm; its antennae trembling in the air before it. I sucked in an amazed breath as the wings rippled like petals in a breeze, and then the butterfly took flight.
It drifted over to me and brushed against my cheek as if it knew who had given it life. I lifted my face to the butterfly kisses, and then it glided over to Darc. He held a finger out to the beautiful insect, and it landed with complete trust. Darcraxis smiled radiantly at our creation and then lifted his hand. The butterfly flew away; down toward the flowers below.
“We created life,” I whispered.
“A new life,” he added. “Something that doesn't exist in any other world.”
“Why do I feel like crying?” I asked breathlessly.
“It's humbling, isn't it?” Darc asked as he stared after our butterfly. “You'd think it would make you feel powerful—and it does—but it also makes you feel incredibly lucky and a little scared.”
“To create something and simply let it go is frightening,” I agreed. “It's hard to watch our newborn go off into the world where it could be hurt or killed. It's completely innocent; it knows nothing about pain or evil.”
“But how wondrous is that?” Darc asked me with a smile. “To go forth without fear; to fly beneath the sun without ever worrying about the coming night. If only we all could live so innocently.”
I stared at him as more tears slipped down my cheeks.
“Elaria,” he murmured as he brushed a hand over my cheek, “don't cry. With life comes death. It's the burden of a creator to know that one day your creations will turn back into the dust they were formed from.”
“It's not that,” I whispered as I covered his hand with mine. “It's you; you're so fucking beautiful. You; not your face or your body, but you.”
Darc's lips parted in surprise, and then his eyes widened with happiness. He leaned toward me slowly; searching my eyes and seeming to love what he found. Darcraxis brushed his lips across mine as he laid me back onto the smooth trunk. With open sky above us and our world spread out around us, Darc showed me how much my words meant to him and how beautiful he thought I was as well.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The days went on with the two of us trying to outdo each other in exciting outings and beautiful experiences. We alternated; with Darc showing me his favorite places one day, and me showing him mine the next. During his adventures, we practiced magic and merged souls. During mine, we experienced all the excitement and pleasure that the physical world had to offer. It went on that way for the entire two weeks—which sped by in a haze of happiness. Because every day—every moment—showed us that despite our deep intimacy, we still had so much to learn about each other. Soul-merging was blissful and enlightening, but learning about each other slowly—through words and actions—was a more drawn out pleasure.
Regardless of all we'd gone through in those two weeks when the sun was setting on the last day, I knew that I hadn't convinced Darc to join us. And I was never going to give up my consorts to become a goddess. It didn't matter how beautiful and blissful merging souls was, or how powerful I could become. Love was the greatest magic of all, and I loved four men already. Darcraxis had loved me first, and I felt that love even more now, but it wasn't enough to make me turn my back on Torin, Banning, Declan, and Gage. In fact, I missed them dearly.
“You're ready to leave,” Darc whispered as we watched the sunset together.
“That whole mind-reading thing is unfair,” I pointed out petulantly.
“I didn't read your mind,” he said. “I saw it on your face. You don't think of Ildathach as home.”
“I'm not Faenestra anymore,” I said gently. “I feel what she felt, and I do love you, but I'm different now.”
“I understand more than I did before, but I still can't see how this body has changed you so much,” Darc said with frustration.
“It's more than this body,” I tried to explain. “It's the experiences I've had in this body. It's my parents, my friends, and my lovers. It's the battles I've fought and the people I've lost. There's so much more to living than floating around space and merging souls.”
“Floating around space?” He gaped at me. “We are gods! We form those things that have given you the experiences you treasure. Faenestra and I made the Sun that nourishes your Kyanite Kingdom. We made the jewels and the oceans and the mountains. We made—”
“I know.” I held up my hand to stop him. “You've shown me, remember? Creation is a wondrous thing, especially on that level. But what good is it if you only experience your creations as a god? We made that butterfly and then set it free. That's as it should be, but we enjoyed it for the briefest of moments. Tell me that going among the humans wasn't more fun than you've ever had. I dare you.”
“I did enjoy it, but we can continue to do that as gods,” he said. “You can have all of it, Elaria.”
“Exce
pt for my consorts,” I said. “That's the problem. I won't give up on them; I can't. It's simply not the way I love.”
Darc scowled and looked away.
“I'm sorry that I can't be your goddess again, and I dearly wish you could be less of a god. It seems that there's no middle road between the two,” I murmured and headed back inside the palace. “I'm going to call my consorts.”
Darc remained on the balcony, staring across the Lisari Sea, while I contacted the guys. They were gathered at Kyanite, awaiting my return, so I only had to call Torin. As much as they were happy to hear from me, they also sounded grim. They hadn't found the dagger. My consorts had searched Tír na nÓg and found no trace nor any mention of the blade. Without it, I wouldn't have a choice; I was going to die and become Faenestra. At least Darcraxis would be happy.
“I'll see you in a few hours,” I said to Torin. “I need to speak with Darc.”
“All right,” Torin said. “I love you, little bird.”
“I love you too.”
I pulled the contact charm from my ear and went back to the balcony. Darc's shoulders tensed as I approached. The hard edge of his jaw looked sharper and his hands clenched the gold railing tightly.
“They haven't found the dagger,” I said to him.
He didn't say anything.
“Darcraxis, do you know where it is?” I tried again.
He didn't even breathe.
I moved up beside him and laid my hand over his. Darc closed his eyes and sighed.
“You said that you would help me find the dagger even if we didn't end up together,” I whispered. “I know that you could have everything you want if you don't, but it's not what I want.”
Darcraxis roared as he twisted the metal in his hands. I stepped back in shock as he fell to his knees and shouted in despair. It was so unlike him that it should have scared me, but it didn't. Not for myself anyway.
“Darc,” I whispered as I rushed back to him. “Stop it, please.” I wrapped my arms around him from behind and pressed my cheek against his. “This doesn't have to be an ending for us.”
