by Amy Sumida
I turned and saw him standing behind me with Torin, Declan, Banning, and Gage; all of them looking grim and determined. In Darc's hand was the soul-severing dagger, and Gage held the orb.
“You fucking traitor,” I hissed at my husband. “You want to do the same thing to me that they did.”
“You're killing our children, Faene,” Darc said gently. “All because they rebelled against us.”
“And raped my friend!” I screeched.
The Fire blasted to life inside me, and I closed my eyes to focus on pushing it back down. I wasn't ready to fight yet; there were a few things I needed to say before I sang.
“Those men are dead,” Darcraxis said. “Queen Oonagh, the monarchs of Malachite, and their courts are all dead, and the Howlite King and his court are as mortal as humans. Haven't you done enough? Sara doesn't—”
“Don't you dare try to use her against me,” I snarled. “You would have done nothing! You've always been weak and cowardly; offering forgiveness for the most horrible offenses when you should have shown strength.”
“Weak, am I?” Darc narrowed his eyes as he stepped forward. “Cowardly? I never knew you had such a low opinion of me, my love. I'll need to rectify that.”
“Are you ready to kill this body?” I smirked at him. “You enjoy it so much. Kill me now, and I'll take that memory with me into my next reincarnation. I'll never forgive you; not any of you.” I transferred my glare to the rest of the men.
“This has grown bigger than our love for you,” Torin said with sorrowful eyes. “You've become a monster, Elaria.”
I flinched; that barb had hit home. Something tried to separate inside me; pull away from the other pieces. But I hardened my heart and glared at Torin. He knew me well enough to know the best ways to hurt me, but I wouldn't let anyone hurt me ever again.
“If that's what you truly believe, come and slay the beast,” I purred, “if you can.”
I flashed myself away from them; up onto a low hill dotted sparsely with thin trees. The Jasper Kingdom was a hot, humid place with an appearance similar to that of India. It wasn't exactly lush, but it wasn't a desert either. The plants were hardy and many had thorns. It was a tough terrain full of predator cats and massive reptiles; perfect for a standoff.
The jazzy, finger-snapping beats of “Kill of the Night” by Gin Wigmore fluttered down to the men, and they began to run toward me. All but Darcraxis, who lowered his head and focused his intense stare on me. This was how gods fought; with barely any movement, just powerful intent. Well, I had some deadly intent for him as well.
I began to sing the sassy lyrics—vowing to taste their blood before the day was through—and the earth began to rumble beneath me. Oh, really? Darc thought he could knock me to my knees? Well, we'd see about that.
I used my Air magic to levitate before the hill caved in on itself. Darc was showing me his strength at last; what a shame that it was directed at me, and I would be forced to smash it down. Darcraxis cocked his head and the cave-in beneath me erupted; dirt and stones shooting upward like shrapnel. I didn't miss a beat; just kept singing as I surged higher.
Flying was amazing; I needed to do it more often. It gave me a perfect view of the men and the magic they were casting at me. I rolled gracefully in the air; dodging nets that Declan manifested and shards of ice that Darc threw like spears. Then Gage transformed into a griffin and shot into the sky after me.
By this time, I had landed quite a few strikes with my lethal lyrics. All of the men were bleeding from deep wounds, but Gage had healed when he shifted, and it was a very healthy griffin that came streaking toward me. Then a giant, invisible hand snatched Gage from the air and tossed him to the ground. I held Gage pinned there as the others scrambled to help him.
Then I felt Torin's magic start to ground my magic. I nearly laughed in delight, but I didn't want to give myself away. He was doing me a favor; draining my power so I didn't have to do it with my song. Why hadn't Torin thought to help me in such a manner before? I narrowed my eyes at him as I considered it. Perhaps he wanted me to die. Perhaps all of the men had been in cahoots with Darcraxis from the beginning. In which case, I would have no trouble killing Torin. But first, I had to deal with the greatest threat; my husband.
With a thought, I sent a column of flame surging up around Darc. He dematerialized and reappeared fifty feet away as a wave of water slapped me out of the sky and down to land—hard. I pushed my wet hair out of my face and gave up on my song. I didn't need it with Torin grounding my magic. It was hilarious that the Onyx King thought he could drain all of it. My magic was limitless; it continually replenished itself. That was the whole reason why I had to keep singing when I used it. But now, thanks to Torin, I could focus entirely on fighting Darcraxis.
I lifted Darc into the air and spun him about; tearing his head from his body. Before he hit the ground, Darc disintegrated and began to reform elsewhere. But this time, his body had suffered too much trauma to simply be healed. He had to start anew; condensing the Darkness into a shape and then refining it into his body—as he had done when I'd set him free. Which meant that Darc couldn't take things like clothing and weapons with him. He could instantly manifest new clothes, but he couldn't recreate the soul-severing dagger.
Banning shouted and started running for the dagger as it plunged toward the ground, but I caught it with a blast of air and brought it over to me. I clenched my hand around the thick handle and grinned at Darc. Now, I had the power to split his soul and tear his magic from him. All I needed was a vessel to contain his Darkness. As I held his gaze, I formed a ball of Light in my hands. Darc's jaw clenched and another wave came rolling toward me.
I leapt into the air out of the water's path and flew straight for Darc. Stone pieces shot at me like missiles and icicles streaked past; some of them slicing into me. Declan cast swords and axes in my way, but I dodged them all and kept on course. Finally, Darcraxis threw a ward up in desperation, but I was too close to be stopped by it. I held the dagger straight before me and it sliced through Darc's magic and plunged into his heart as if it had known exactly where to go.
Everyone went still as Darc fell to his knees and shouted with pain. I could feel his soul filling the dagger; the half of it that held the Darkness. A small piece of Water lingered in his other half, but it wasn't enough for him to retain his divine immortality. Darcraxis may retain enough magic to be long-lived, but I'd still be able to kill him. Then I could send his soul into a human body; as our children had done to me.
All's fair in love and war. Hell; I couldn't tell the two of them apart anymore.
I jerked the dagger out of Darc's chest and stabbed it into the ball of Light. Darc's soul bled into the Light; shading it for a second before my magic hardened around it. I removed the dagger, and the orb sealed completely. Then I stepped back and bounced the ball casually on my palm.
“I'll have to wait a bit to kill you,” I noted as I watched Darc's chest wound heal. “But then it's off to a round of reincarnation for you, my love. Let's see how you enjoy living life after life; all the pain and confusion of mortality without magic.”
“I would have gladly traded places with you, Faene,” Darc said as he lurched to his feet. “But I think you had it better than I. I was alone in the dark for years. Surely mortality is better than that.”
“I suppose you'll find out.” I smiled at him.
“Elaria, I know you're in there,” Torin said as he and Declan drew closer.
Banning was with Gage; who was still being held down by my magic. Right; I had forgotten about the griffin. I released Gage casually; there was no sense in holding him any longer. I had won; they knew that. They wouldn't be pleading pathetically with me if they didn't.
I sighed deeply. “Of course I'm here, Torin. I don't know why you keep saying that; as if the words have some magical power.”
“There is magic in them,” Torin insisted. “Because the woman I love would never do this.” He waved a hand at Darcraxis.
“She would never destroy people so carelessly. My words would hold weight with her, and I know they can still reach her.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I huffed. “I slaughtered Sapphire, killed a pride of manticores, forced a man to kill the woman he loved, nearly exterminated the Jotun, and wiped out the last of the Maya Gods—all before I had my magic back. This is me, Torin!” I held my arms out. “I am the First Flame; the destruction that brings a new beginning. When rot and disease threaten the forest, I come in and clean the slate. I make the ground fertile so it may sprout new trees stronger than the last. You see that as evil, but good and evil are just opinions. What matters is what side you're on, and I am always on the conquering side.”
“Winning a war doesn't make you a murderer,” Torin said. “We did what we had to, and we saved this realm. But what you're doing now is evil, Elaria. You're destroying unnecessarily and completely.”
“No. What I'm doing now is saving this world again; from him,” I said as I pointed at Darcraxis. “I'm going to change things around here. No longer will there be gods; there will only be a goddess.”
I started to regale them with my brilliant plan to rule Tír na nÓg when I spotted a golden streak out of the corner of my eye. I turned to the right just as Gage knocked into me. His eagle head reared back and screeched as his lion paw lifted. I reacted automatically to the threat; blasting him with my Light. Gage went tumbling through the air and landed with a sickening thud; wisps of smoke trailing off him.
“Gage!” Torin shouted as they all ran toward the griffin.
I blinked slowly as a horrible feeling shivered through my body. It was cold and sickening. I cocked my head to stare around the huddle of men at the griffin between them; searching for a sign of life. But Gage wasn't moving. The acrid scent of burnt hair rode the wind and made my stomach turn. A flash of a memory came to me then; of Gage lying in my lap. His stare went distant as his heartbeat slowed.
Pain lanced through me, and I cried out brokenly, “Gage!”
The men turned to stare at me in shock as I rushed over to the griffin. I fell to my knees and sobbed over the massive body; clutching the ball of Light and the dagger to my chest. My consorts and I had fought enemies who were undeniably evil. We had defended the Veil, the Shining Ones, and even the Primeval Forest. Maybe that was an opinion, but it's one that I felt the truth of. Everything we did had been done in defense of peace and happiness. I saw that now. I understood the difference between peace and submission; between valiance and vanity. That knowledge had been with me all along, but something had dampened it when I fully accepted my other half. And all it had taken for me to see the truth was the death of a man I loved.
What had I done? Who had I become? Was being true to myself evil? Was I evil? I recalled what Isis had told me once; that there will always be someone stronger, and usually it was a goddess. Mere moments ago, I would have agreed with that; I would have laughed over the irony of a fake goddess saying it to a real one. But now, I saw it for what it was; confirmation on how far I'd fallen. Because it was something a villain would say, not a hero.
“I'm the villain,” I whispered in horror. “I'm the bad guy; it's me. I'm the one who must be stopped.”
“Little bird,” Torin murmured and reached for me.
“No! Don't touch me,” I said frantically. “There's only one thing left to do.”
I tossed the ball of Light to Darcraxis and then positioned the dagger before my chest.
“No!” Darc shouted as he held out a supplicating hand. “We can wait now, Elaria. Give your body time to become strong enough to heal, and then we can do this.”
“I don't know how long I'll have before my true nature takes hold again,” I said sadly as I looked at Gage. “I'm so sorry, Gage.”
I plunged the dagger into my heart.
The men leapt forward as I fell backward. They caught me and laid me down on the grass as pain ripped through me. My soul tore; separating into two pieces again. I gasped as the part of me who was Faenestra was sucked into the dagger while the part of me who was Elaria took control of my body and mind. But once I was Elaria again, the full weight of Gage's death hit me, and heartache truly consumed me. Tears coursed down my cheeks as I felt the sting of the dagger being pulled out of my chest. I opened my eyes to see Darcraxis stabbing the dark orb with the soul-severing dagger and trapping Faenestra inside it. I breathed a sigh of relief even as my body grew cold.
“Do you have any magic left inside you?” Torin asked Darc frantically.
“She left me with a little Water; enough to give me a shining one's immortality, but not enough to save her,” Darc said gently as he laid a palm to my cheek. “I will wait for you, Ellie. I'll wait and watch, and when you're reborn, I will guard you until you can return to us.”
“I'll see you in the next life,” I whispered to all of them. “I love you. I'm so sorry for what I've done. Say goodbye to my parents and Cerberus for me. Tell them I'm sorry.”
“It wasn't you, Ellie,” Declan said brokenly through his tears. “There's nothing to forgive.”
“I waited for you once; I can do it again,” Banning vowed. “Just come back, Elaria. Find your way back to us.”
“I will,” I promised and closed my eyes.
As I took my last breaths, my lovers held me and cried softly. They would hurt for awhile, but I would keep my promise and return to them; I knew that I would. We would be reunited and—
Stop being so fucking dramatic, Kyanite huffed in my head.
Goodbye, Kyanite. Thank you for everything you've done for me.
You're not dying, Elaria, Kyanite said with exasperation.
“What?” I asked as I opened my eyes.
The men gasped; their grips tightening on me.
“Elaria?” Torin asked in amazement.
“Holy smokes,” I whispered as I sat up. “Kyanite's right; I feel better.”
I looked down at my blood-stained dress and then tore open the hole the dagger had left; freshly healed skin was revealed beneath.
I didn't want to tell you when you were the Fae-monster, but your body became immortal awhile ago, Kyanite said. You're alive and well, my love. And I'm glad to have you back to normal.
I started laughing in joy—hugging my lovers and kissing them—until I realized that I was one short.
“Gage,” I whispered as I got to my feet.
The men stood with me, and we all turned somberly toward the griffin.
“Hold on,” Declan said. “Has he moved?”
We rushed to Gage, and I lifted his eagle head into my lap hopefully. The enormous bird eyes fluttered and then opened. Gage stared up at me warily until I started to sob and hug him.
“Ellie?” Gage whispered. “Is that you?”
“It's me.” I sniffed as I eased away. “Faenestra is back in the orb.”
“Thank goodness,” Gage said as he shifted back to his human form. “I was hoping my death might pierce through that bitch-shield.”
“You were playing dead?” Banning asked in shock.
Gage sat up and shrugged as he smirked.
“I couldn't even sense a heartbeat,” Darc said in wonder. “How did you manage to be so convincing?”
“Griffins are taught how to slow our hearts for times when we're bleeding heavily,” Gage said. “It's a survival tactic.”
“As it was today,” I whispered. “You saved us.”
“You saved us,” he corrected me. “I only helped you remember that you're a hero, not a villain.”
“I could have killed you,” I said.
“I have faith in us, Elaria,” Gage said sincerely. “No matter what you do, that faith will never waver. I know your heart, and I trust it.”
“I love you so much,” I murmured as I hugged him.
The other men closed in around us, and we held each other tightly; two kings, a blooder, a griffin, a spellsinger, and...
“What are you now?” I asked Darcraxis as we eased out of
our group hug.
“I don't know,” Darc said with a grin. “But I find that I like the thought of being in mortal flesh. I could live forever or I could die today, and that possibility brings this delightful flutter to my chest.”
“Part fear and part excitement,” I said with a nod. “Every moment becomes sharper and sweeter because it could be your last.”
“But let's not focus on death,” Gage said. “There's been too much of that already.”
“And there may be more before we finish cleaning up this mess,” Declan murmured thoughtfully.
“Perhaps we should address the Shining Ones when we have more allies with us,” Darc noted as he stood and looked pointedly at the walls of the Jasper Castle.
The dark ward was gone and soldiers stood on the ramparts; watching us warily.
“I agree,” I said as I pulled out my traveling stone. “Shall we regroup in Hawaii?”
I held my hand out to Darcraxis. Darc blinked and then laughed as he took it.
“I'm going to have to get used to traveling like this,” he said.
“We'll get you a traveling stone,” Torin said as he and Declan grabbed the orbs.
Then the six of us left the Jasper Kingdom as fast as our stones could take us.
Chapter Fifty-Five
“I'm so sorry, Mom,” I cried as I hugged my mother.
The first thing we decided to do after leaving Jasper was to find a place to hide the orbs. Darc and I couldn't be near them for long or our souls would start to tempt us into reuniting. So, we headed to Pyrovesti to kill two birds with one stone. Ugh; remind me to never use that metaphor again. In my life, it could become literal.
“It's okay, honey,” my mom cooed. “I knew it wasn't you. It was your father who was hurt the most.”
I eased away from her to go to my dad. I stood in front of him and gave him an apologetic look.
“I'm sorry, Dad,” I whispered.
“I was so excited to discover how special you are, Elli-phant,” Dad said. “It never occurred to me that being a goddess could make you a horrible person.”
