by C. P. Odom
“And you are certain of her feelings, Eliza?” her friend asked.
“Unquestionably.”
“Perhaps you are seeing with eyes more closely attuned to Jane than mine are, but I cannot detect evidences of a special regard on her part.”
“But such is Jane’s nature. She is so distinguished by her calm composure and her universal cheerfulness that the world might not detect her feelings. But they are there, I assure you. We speak of it every night.”
“Which gives you an insight others lack, Eliza. I am well aware of Jane’s serenity and composure, but it can sometimes be a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection from the object of it with skill, she may lose the opportunity of fixing him. It would then be poor consolation to her that she kept the rest of the world in the dark also.”
Elizabeth had to laugh at this. “Jane is not one to engage in schemes to fix a young man, Charlotte. You know her too well to believe such a thing.”
“I do, but any attachment contains many feelings, some of which can pull the two together and others that can push them apart. A slight preference for another might be sufficient at first, but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be in love without encouragement.
Elizabeth felt a pang at this statement since her unexplained attraction to Darcy was certainly not marked by any encouragement.
And I am not in love with that man, either! she thought fiercely.
But Charlotte continued. “In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels. Bingley undoubtedly likes your sister, but he may never do more than like her if she does not help him on.”
“But she does, as much as her nature will allow. If I can perceive her regard for him, he must be a simpleton, indeed, not to discern it.”
“Mr. Bingley does not know Jane’s disposition as you do.”
“But if a woman is partial to a man and does not take pains to conceal it, he must find it out.”
“Perhaps he must if he sees enough of her. Though Bingley and Jane meet tolerably often, it is never for many hours together, nor are they alone. They always see each other in large, mixed parties that make it impossible for them to converse only with each other. Jane should make the most of every moment in which she can command his attention and thus secure him.”
“Your plan is a good one where nothing is in question but the desire of being well married, especially to a rich man. If I were determined to get such a husband, I daresay I should adopt it. But Jane’s nature is different. She does not act by design. She is still trying to ascertain her feelings since they have only known each other a fortnight. Four dances and four dinners in company are not quite enough to make her certain of his character.”
“Perhaps not, but four such evenings may do a great deal in acquainting them.”
“Yes,” Elizabeth said with a laugh, “these four evenings have enabled them to ascertain they both like Vingt-un better than Commerce. I am not certain how much else has been unfolded.”
“Well, I wish Jane success with all my heart, and if she were to be married to Mr. Bingley, I should think she would have as good a chance of happiness as she would if she had a twelvemonth to study his character. Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance, you know. Even those who begin their life together with a confluence of traits will still grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation. It is better to know as little as possible beforehand of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.”
“You make me laugh, Charlotte,” Elizabeth said gaily. “But it is not sound! You know it is not sound! You would never act in such a way yourself.”
***
Darcy stood with McDunn at the same party at Lucas Lodge, observing Elizabeth speaking with Charlotte Lucas across the room. This was one of the rare occasions when McDunn had been included in the invitation, likely because of the excessive civility of their host, Sir William Lucas. Darcy thought Sir William made a rather ludicrous figure on most occasions, but he could not fault him today since it allowed his friend to also attend. Sir William simply did not seem to detect the distinctions in status the rest of the neighborhood found so natural.
In his present position with McDunn against the wall, Darcy was too far away to overhear Elizabeth’s conversation, but he could easily detect it animated her in that lively, captivating manner he found increasingly charming. Almost without conscious thought, Darcy began to move across the room in order to be close to her. He knew McDunn, who was engaged in his usual occupation of watching people, could not help noticing the change in his usual inclination to remain aloof from the others, but it could not be helped. He knew he could not disguise his interest in Elizabeth since he could hardly look away from her. He had not so much as mentioned her in any of his conversations with McDunn to this point, but the display of his interest had now become a moot point.
Darcy remembered with discomfort his original dismissive opinion of Elizabeth’s beauty, comparing her unfavorably to her eldest sister.
Since that first evening, however, his opinions had been undergoing a peculiar kind of metamorphosis. The result was a gradual but rather complete change in virtually everything he had judged on first sight. As one change followed another, Darcy had squirmed in mortification at having been so much in error. He was aware of his critical eye, but he had believed he could compensate for it by applying his opinions dispassionately and logically. That, however, had not been the case regarding Elizabeth Bennet.
He was struck first by her dark eyes, which he soon found so enticing it was difficult for him to tear his own away from hers. And his assessment of her face having little of distinction was brought low by his realization that the lovely expression in those fine eyes lent a beauty to her entire face.
Though he had thought he detected more than one failure of perfect symmetry in her form, he now considered her figure to be light, pleasing, and to his utter surprise, womanly. He remembered her grace on the dance floor as though through a different lens, and he now thought her appearance rendered her, in fact, quite lovely—and desirable.
He found he had formed an equal misconception when it came to her manners, which he had put down at first as not at all sophisticated. He now acknowledged that, even if her manners were not those of the fashionable world, they were marked by an easy, playful nature and an honesty that he now found more appealing. Her mouth seemed made to smile and laugh, which she did often but not at all in the disparaging and disdainful manner of Bingley’s sisters.
She was bewitching, and it was only the inferiority of her connections that allowed him to observe her with some equanimity, relatively immune to the danger of falling in love. It was the mark of his character that he equally well did not feel any compulsion to attempt enticing her into the kind of improprieties to which Wickham had proven so adept. He frowned in remembrance, glad he was unlikely ever to encounter that man again.
***
Of all this, Elizabeth was perfectly unaware. To her, he was only the man who disturbed her in such an unnatural manner and who also made himself agreeable nowhere. She had reluctantly acquitted him of his dismissal of dancing with her a second time at the assembly. Bingley had bestowed such a compliment on Jane, with the resulting estimation of all in the neighborhood that Jane might soon displace Miss Bingley as the mistress of Netherfield. Since there had been a smattering of such comments regarding herself after her single set with Darcy, a second invitation would have resulted in the same whispers hailing her as the next mistress of his estate in Derbyshire. She knew this could never be; there was too great a gulf between the two of them. It was just as well since Mr. Darcy had not proven himself to be anything other than a cold and disagreeable man, making it impossible even to contemplate spending one’s life with him.
At least he did not dismiss me
as not being handsome enough to dance with! she thought with a measure of humor.
Then she had had to suppress her shudder as she asked herself why this man affected her so disturbingly. Why had he asked her to dance even once?
The possibility that he found her bewitching, even if the differences in their station precluded any deeper attachment, never crossed her mind.
***
In his compulsion to know more of Elizabeth and to speak with her, Darcy drew closer to her and Miss Lucas as they spoke with the colonel of the militia regiment. Elizabeth seemed unaware of Darcy’s proximity, and she surely would have moved away if she had become aware of it. But Charlotte was more alert, and after Colonel Forster took his leave, she alerted her friend.
“It seems Mr. Darcy is staring at you, Eliza.”
“What?” Elizabeth was startled enough to glance around, and she indeed found Darcy’s eyes on her. She was quick to turn away.
“What does he mean by standing there like an avenging angel?” she asked in a whisper, almost hissing the words.
Charlotte looked at her friend, startled by the vehemence in her voice. “Why, I am sure I do not know. But he was listening closely to your conversation with Colonel Forster. Perhaps he wishes to solicit a dance.”
“You jest, Charlotte,” Elizabeth said more calmly. “Besides, there is no music.”
“Ah, but the lack of music is easily rectified since my father has a fine instrument, and I would much prefer for you to exhibit rather than your sister.”
“Mary is much more accomplished than I,” protested Elizabeth loyally.
“And not half so pleasurable to listen to, as you well know. Look, Mr. Darcy is coming this way. Now is the time to exercise your usual impertinence and ask him what he is about.”
“I shall do nothing of the kind. I believe it is better to ignore Mr. Darcy at all times unless absolutely necessary.”
But the occasion quickly arose as Darcy approached close. Charlotte seized the chance and turned to him.
“Do you not think my friend expressed herself well just now, Mr. Darcy, when she was teasing Colonel Forster about hosting a ball at Meryton?”
Somewhat startled, Darcy stopped and, after a moment, replied, “She did so with great energy, Miss Lucas, but as to her success, I cannot comment. But dancing is a subject that always makes a lady energetic.”
Charlotte laughed lightly, but Elizabeth was not pleased by either Charlotte’s impudence or Darcy’s answer.
“You are severe on us, sir,” Elizabeth said with some asperity. But Darcy only gave one of his rare smiles and shrugged, apparently not at all offended.
“You will forgive my friend her brashness, sir, since she knows it will soon be her turn to be teased. As I just told her, my father has a fine instrument, and I am about to lead her thither. You know what follows, Eliza.”
“You are a very strange creature by way of a friend!” Elizabeth cried. “If my vanity had led me in a musical direction, you would have been invaluable, but I would prefer to avoid displaying my meager talents before an audience used to better performances.”
“You are the one being severe on yourself. I have often told you so since your talents are by no means meager. Come, take my arm.”
Elizabeth was reluctant, but she was also wild to get away from Darcy. The man seemed to exude some sort of magnetism that was far too disturbing to be tolerated, especially in company. Accordingly, she acceded to Charlotte’s urging and moved to the pianoforte, and after searching through the sheets, began to play.
Darcy found Elizabeth’s performance was pleasing to both the audience and to himself, though he dispassionately judged it to fall short of being capital. After Elizabeth played another tune and was replaced at the bench by her sister Mary, he quickly had cause to re-assess his opinion.
Mary was always eager to display skills sharpened by long practice but unfortunately had neither genius nor taste to match her superior fingering and had not the same feel for the music. Elizabeth, easy and unaffected, had been listened to with much more pleasure though not playing half so well, and Mary, at the end of a long concerto, received only desultory applause.
Her younger sisters requested she play Scot and Irish airs and lost no time in fostering dancing at one end of the room along with some of the Lucases and several officers.
Darcy lost no time in returning to stand silently near McDunn, his mood one of silent indignation at the juvenile impertinence of the younger Bennet sisters in instigating such a mode of passing the evening to the exclusion of all conversation.
He was too engrossed in such thoughts to realize Sir William Lucas had come to stand beside him until his host attempted a conversation.
Sir William’s topic was dancing, and to his boring and trivial questions, Darcy made his answers as short and unresponsive as possible, hoping the man would go away. But Sir William was engaged in his favorite pastime—that of being civil to everyone—and never noticed Darcy’s disinterest.
He had only paused in his unsuccessful efforts when Elizabeth and Charlotte passed close by. Sir William was instantly struck with the notion of performing a gallantry and called out to the young ladies.
“My dear Miss Eliza, why are you not dancing? Mr. Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure, when so much beauty is before you.”
And, taking her hand, he presented it to Darcy, who though extremely surprised, was not at all unwilling to receive it.
***
Elizabeth instantly drew back with the intention of refusing the offer. Her mouth opened to say something, but in the flood of confusing and contradictory emotions and feelings surging through her, she could only remain silent.
Her next awareness was of being led toward the dance that was taking place at the end of the room, leaving behind her a triumphant Charlotte Lucas and a rather bemused Edward McDunn.
Sir William beamed happily at the success of his gallantry and soon departed to bestow his attentions to others.
Despite the whirl of her thoughts and the proximity of Darcy’s presence, Elizabeth was easily able to execute the dance steps seamlessly. While Elizabeth had to educate herself in other matters, her mother had overseen the tutoring of her daughters in all the dances usual in their part of England.
Nevertheless, because of Darcy’s closeness, Elizabeth was exhausted when the dance finally concluded. Though she had in no way planned for it, she believed she had handled her raging emotions better than previously.
***
After thanking Elizabeth for the dance, which he had enjoyed despite his misgivings, Darcy intended to return to McDunn’s side, but he was intercepted by Miss Bingley. The lady seemed almost frantic with alarm at seeing Darcy dance again with this insufferable Bennet sister and reverted to her usual mode of mocking the country neighborhood in general and the attendees at this plebeian gathering in particular.
“I can guess the subject of your reverie,” she said with an arch of one fine eyebrow.
“I should imagine not,” Darcy replied with evident disinterest.
“You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner and in such society. Indeed, I am quite of your opinion. The insipidity, the noise, the self-importance of these people! I am sure your own strictures on them would match mine!”
“Your conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged in meditating on the pleasure bestowed by a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman.”
Miss Bingley’s alarm now reached frightening proportions. “I am all amazement, Mr. Darcy. I beg you to tell me what lady has inspired such reflections. I know it cannot be Miss Elizabeth Bennet, though you did just dance with her.”
“The ver
y same.”
“I am all astonishment!” cried Miss Bingley, trying to control her voice. “I was not aware she was such a favorite. When, pray tell, am I to wish you joy?”
“Which is exactly the question I expected. A lady’s imagination is very rapid, jumping from admiration to love and from love to matrimony. I knew you would be wishing me joy as soon as I mentioned it.”
“Nay, if you are so serious about it, I shall consider the matter as absolutely settled. You will have a charming mother-in-law, indeed. And, of course, she will always be at Pemberley with you.”
Darcy could only listen to her, feigning perfect indifference, while she chose to entertain herself in this manner even after he moved back to stand beside McDunn. She could not help herself, Darcy knew. She was distraught at the possible frustration of her desires, never imagining that neither she nor Miss Elizabeth would ever be mistress of Pemberley, but his composure eventually convinced her all was safe.
Interesting, McDunn thought in amusement. Very interesting.
***
Later the same evening, Elizabeth felt as though she had been taken up in a nightmare, one she could not end by waking up.
After the disturbing experience of her dance with Darcy, she had been wild to get away from Lucas Lodge and had begged her mother for the use of the carriage to return to Longbourn, saying she had a blinding headache.
But her mother had refused, wanting Elizabeth to remain. She was near to gloating at Bingley’s attentions to Jane, and the occasion of Darcy again dancing with Lizzy added to her glee. She was convinced both her eldest daughters would soon be comfortably settled at magnificent estates.
But Elizabeth did not follow her mother’s command with her usual filial obedience. Instead, she retrieved her shawl, coat, and bonnet and walked home. It was a short walk, but her slippers had been little designed for the activity and were ruined. It was also unlikely her dress could ever be washed clean of the mud and dirt along the hem.
