by Patti Larsen
“Of course,” he says, with no trace of his usual stutter. “Just tell me what you need.”
Night falls as we work, but the dog remains calm and quiet and I trust his ability to warn us over any guards we might set. I fall over at last, sleep for a while before waking to help the others disassemble nearby cars and weld their parts onto the bones of our selected vehicles. It takes less time to outfit two other trucks, also SUV's, with enough armor plate I'm sure the Crawlers won't stand a chance. The Tek's blood fuels them, feeds them, and I can't help but feel as they are brought to life we have two more souls among us now.
The weapons are next, variations on tasers. Ande's excitement over them is almost enough to make me smile though he waffles between bouncing on his toes and grim understanding of what it is he's creating. His original mock up, long gone with the train, holds nothing to the incredible weapons the Teks create. Socrates joins Ande, the pair of boy geniuses at work.
Vander disappears from time to time and I know he's watching over us as much as the dog though I don't question him about it. Neither of us is much good beyond grunt work, his job hefting car doors and other large items over already. He appears in time to help mount the cannon, or what looks like one at any rate, on the front of the original Crawler vehicle. I stand and stare at it, certain I hear the truck growling at me, shifting to the right when I realize where I stand puts me in the line of fire.
This living, breathing beast would never hurt me, I'm sure, but I'm not willing to take the chance.
Their jobs finally done, the Teks sink to the floor to rest while Ever joins us. “The only way to win is to not only rescue Poppy and Duet, but to take Solo into custody.”
I agree with her, though taking Solo into custody is only the beginning of my sister's ending.
“Here's the plan, then.” Ever pauses as though expecting an argument. “My people and I will man these vehicles and take on the Crawlers directly.”
She was right to worry I might not agree. Horror rises inside me at the thought even as I gasp out a breath. “I won't let you throw your lives away like this.” Her jaw is set in a stubborn line, but I go on anyway. “They'll kill you, Ever. There are so many of them. You might take a few with you, but they will break you eventually and then you will die.”
Ever shrugs, unsurprised, uncaring. “It doesn't matter anymore, Trio.” She looks around at her people, each of them equally as determined as she is. “If you succeed, none of this will have happened.” She gestures in a circle, then up to the ceiling as if time itself hovers over us. “And if you fail, this world is doomed anyway. Solo will go back further and, again, none of this,” she repeats her gesture, “will exist.”
I hug myself, knowing she's right, but not wanting to hear it. If I succeed... what will happen? Will everything go back to normal? Will the kids they are be safe, sound, live normal, happy and productive lives?
I can't even consider failure.
But why am I so sad at the thought of the loss of Ever as she is?
I rise, leave them, needing my space, time to breathe, though the end result is inevitable. The dog tries to follow, but I bend and look him in the eyes.
“Please.” I stroke his soft muzzle. “I'll be okay.” I see the doubt in his eyes. “I'm not going to leave you.”
He chuffs softly and bobs his head before turning and going back to the others.
Nice to know he trusts me even if I don't trust myself.
I leave their line of sight, just far enough the soft murmur of voices runs together like white noise. Somewhere water drips in a slow tick-tick-tick of sound. The underground garage smells of old gas and decaying metal and I long for fresh air. It's hard to think, to do anything outside of stand there with my back pressed to a sagging van while my mind whirls around and around, and I beg it to stop.
Beckett's footsteps betray him as he approaches. I can't look at him, refuse. He's part of this, of the change I'm about to create. Either he'll go back to being hers, Poppy's... or he'll go through all of this again. Though I'm sure now, because of his survival of the Sick, he'll be one of Solo's new world order.
The thought makes me ill.
His hand slides behind my neck, pulling me forward until my forehead presses into his shoulder. I want to hug him, to hold him, but I can't bend, not now. I feel like if I do I'll weaken somehow and be unable to go through with any of this.
“Trio.” His fingers tip my chin, force me to face him. Dark blue eyes look almost black in the low light. “I know what you said. Who I am to you. But I'm not.”
He's not, not here. And yet, he is, isn't he?
Isn't he?
Confusion makes the spinning in my mind worse. “Go.” I mean to say it with force, but it barely escapes in a whisper.
Beckett's mouth descends, covers mine. The heat of his breath enters my lungs, the touch of his skin bringing me to life again and I'm suddenly pressed to the van with his full weight against me, his hands under my shirt, mine under his, the touch of his body so powerful I never want to let him go.
He pulls back for a heartbeat, lips hovering. “I love you.”
Three words. Three stabs of agony to my heart. I jerk free of him, turning my back.
No.
No.
No.
This time when he reaches for me I pull away and refuse to turn.
It's a long time before Beckett leaves and, when he does, my heart goes with him.
***
Chapter Thirty Four
Why can't they leave me alone? I find a curb to sit on, to catch my breath and take a moment to stop crying when the dog presses his nose into my shoulder. Him at least I can hug, though I know I'll lose him too when this is done.
It's not fair. But when I try to push the dog away he growls at me and plants himself.
“Just leave me alone.” I shove against his shoulder. He snaps at me and licks my cheek. “I said go.” Again the defiance. This time he head butts me, hard in the chest.
“Fine.” I hug my knees to me so he can't force his way into my lap, further into my heart. “Stay. I don't care.”
He whines softly before one paw lifts, settles on my foot.
“I'm going alone.” I snap it at him like a weapon, but I think he's ready for me.
The dog bares his teeth before tilting his head to the side, ears up.
“Don't even try to follow me.” I make no move to rise, go through with my threatened departure. I don't have the energy.
He just watches me with those deep and intelligent eyes.
I'm sitting here arguing with a dog. I'm as crazy as Duet. But even as that thought crosses my mind I shake it off. Of all of my friends, he is the most loyal, the most understanding.
It hurts to love him.
Something wavers to my right, catching my attention. I'm on my feet, breath hitching in my chest as she appears, my mother, no longer caught in glass, a real hologram this time. Standing there. Looking at me.
“Three,” she says, voice wavering, but stronger than it's been since I heard her so long ago in the pitted blue metal of the bathroom stall.
I rush to her, my hand passing through hers as I try to touch her. “Mother.”
Her smile is weak, face a mass of wrinkles. When did her hair turn white? When did she age so very much?
“Three, kitten, you must listen.” Her hand rises, fingers trying to run down my cheek. “I'm using the last of our power to reach you.”
“I'm here,” I say. “And I remember everything.”
Her gasp of surprise is joined by a smile filled with hope. “Darling,” she says. “That's wonderful news.” She looks over her shoulder as if someone speaks to her before turning back to me. “The time bubble is collapsing. You remember?”
I nod. I do. “You built it as soon as you knew One was gone.” To protect us from the time shifts. Used the very energy One stole to create a barrier between her new world and the true one.
“That bubble is almost spent.�
� Her hands fall to her sides, despair crossing her face. “There are only two of us left. It will fall when we are gone.”
If only I could reach her, hug her, do something.
But wait. I can!
“You must reach the Time portal,” she says. “Whatever One is doing, she hasn't stopped changing time. It's putting immense pressure on our bubble here and pushing us ahead faster than we should be traveling.”
Aging her. Forcing the bubble protecting my mother to collapse.
Solo.
“She's already changed the time stream,” Mother says. “But you can alter it to reach us in the future from which you came. It still exists, tied to this bubble. When you find it, go back to when we started the program and tell us to stop.” She pauses, hands wringing before her. “Three, do you understand?”
“Yes.” I do, clearly. The memory of my training is fresh as though I'd just learned what to do. She wavers before me and I reach for her again, an unconscious gesture she mimics. “Trio,” I say, wanting her to know I have a name at last, one given to me by my friends, no longer just a number.
My mother smiles at me, the kindest, most gentle smile I’ve ever seen. “Trio,” she says and my heart is full.
And yet, the question hangs over me, the most important one of all. “I need to know.” My voice catches as she gazes into my eyes. “What's my real purpose?” I'm afraid, though now that I've asked, as terrifying as the answer could be, I need to know.
“Life, baby.” Her smile is a beam of sunlight, a sparkling expression of pure love. “A gift to humanity, no more disease, no more suffering. But your sister has perverted it.” Mother shakes her head. “If she's able to go back before I was born...”
It will be all over. “If she goes back, the bubble will collapse and I won't be able to save them.”
“Get to the new portal and fix it. No matter the cost.” Mother looks over her shoulder again. When she turns back to me she's fading fast. “No matter the cost, Trio.”
And she's gone, just like that. I stand there a moment, reaching out into empty air while the dog rubs his head against my leg in sympathy.
I have no choice now. If this is going to work, if I'm to succeed, I need help. I can't send my friends away. They are a part of this now, no matter the outcome. Knowing I'm out of time, I turn at last and go back to the others, dragging my feet, but willing to pay the price my mother asks of me.
***
Chapter Thirty Five
I watch them a moment, the small crowd of kids, as they talk among themselves. How can I do what I know I need to, send them to their deaths so I can ensure they never live this life at all?
The dog's wet nose against my hand startles me out of my rigor and drives me forward, into their circle. Ever meets my eyes, hers steady, unjudging, open. She knows what I'm going to say already.
“We need to move quickly.” I crouch in the center of the circle, hands dangling over my knees, eyes locked on an old stain in the concrete. “We're running out of time.”
“What changed your mind?” Beckett's voice is soft, but his words cut me close.
“I know what I am.” I meet his gaze without the guilt I was sure would come. “What has to happen now. And as much as I wish things could be different, this world, the way it is... it has to end.”
“Then we move now.” Ever stands even as I join her.
“An hour.” I look down at the dog. “I just need an hour. Be ready.”
I leave them again, this time whistling to the puppies who follow eagerly. We don't go far, just a short distance away and I sit there and shove reality aside in favor of the sweet wriggling bodies and the sleek, soft fur of the dog.
When my tears begin to fall, I let them. They aren't sad tears, not really. More like a cleansing of what I've done, who I've become. Catharsis in those tears. When they stop falling, the dog and his children swipe the remains from my cheeks and I can't help but laugh and hug them all close.
“I promised to keep you safe.” I sigh over the puppies who look up at me with focus, listening. Understanding. “I'm not sure I can keep that promise anymore.”
The dog barks once, softly. Nudges Shine and Shade. Both bark too. As if to tell me it's okay. I've done what I can for them. That they agree with my choice. This can't go on and I'm the only one who can fix it.
I hug the puppies one by one, tears falling for the last time as I snuggle them close to my chest, cheek rubbing their soft fur. This is the hardest goodbye in the many I know I'll have to make.
When we return to the others, I have a request.
“I need something made.” I point at the dog. “A harness. For the dog. And the babies.”
Ever nods. “We're all going together.”
We are. I won't leave them behind.
While it's being done, Ever draws me aside, toward the Crawler truck and my friends. I hardly recognize them, dressed in the metal uniforms of Solo's soldiers. Socrates appears odd, out of place, his thin body encased in plates of steel, but Beckett looks like his was made for him.
“Your turn.” Ever shows me the last uniform laid out. “We've modified them, added our blood. They will offer you some protection at least.”
A green glow flickers over the chest plate as I touch it. “Thank you.” I can't repay her.
“No, Trio.” Ever takes my hands. “Thank you. You've come to help us, to heal this wrong. To save us. For every lost soul on this forsaken world, you have our gratitude.”
They help me dress in the enemy's skin, my friends hovering close, cutting out Ever and her people as though we need this moment together. And we do. I shrug under the new weight sitting on my shoulders, feel the pressure of the dog against my leg and look down. The Teks are genius. Instead of a harness to carry the puppies, they've made him a wagon of sorts, the strap snug around his chest, two thick wheels on pivots so he's still fully mobile. The short box is covered, protecting the puppies, though both hang out over the front, two blonde and two black paws bracketing their beautiful faces.
Perfect. We're all here. Almost. But the other two... we'll have them again soon.
Or this will be over.
We stand in a silent circle, my friends and I, as I draw a breath and make the offer I've been considering for some time.
“I can give you what they have.” I hold out my hands, feel the tingle rise to my command. I know what it is now, how to control it. Welcome it as much as the air I breathe. This thing Dr. Gorman gave us, the power to find the best in others and bring it out. To perfect them, their potential. “Solo has made her Crawlers powerful, taken them further than any other. I can give you that too.”
Socrates is the first to reach for me. “We'll need every advantage,” he says, tone serious. But I can tell from the sparkle in his eyes he's excited too. The next adventure.
My hand closes over his and I feel inside him immediately—his pulse, the way his heart races at the thought of what I'm about to do, the minute damage to his cells and, as I go deeper, the inherent flaws in his DNA. I smooth those out, my healing power seeking out every tick, every misalignment and bringing it into pure potential.
Until it's no longer potential at all but reality. His eyes widen, flash with amber light before going black again.
Remarkable. His mental voice is deeper, older. Familiar to me.
I do know him from before. That knowledge makes me smile.
Socrates turns, bends, places one hand under the lip of the Crawler truck. Lifts. The two wheels clear the ground effortlessly. His grin flashes white against his dark skin.
Vander is next. The glow of his skin fades as I examine what the Sick did to him. There was a time he asked me to heal him, to take away the Bright in him. I was unable to do so, the ability lost in my memory, my conscious control missing. Things are different now. I see he has only a single flaw to repair, a protein chain deficiency that prevents him from maximizing iron in his system. That healed and Vander is whole again. No more glow. Only his pa
le skin, ice blue eyes full of tears.
Thank you. His mind's voice is no different, but I know him, too. Knew him.
I know them all. And for the first time I feel my despair at ending this lift. They have lives. And I'm going to give those lives back.
Ande is next, and when I'm done he and Socrates bump fists as hard as they can, shattering the metal of their gloves.
I find myself smiling as they giggle like the boys they are before grim determination returns to their young faces.
I reach for the dog, stroke his ear, feel inside him. Almost gasp when his mind touches mine.
So close to perfect. Just a little nudge.
Love wraps around me, the kind of pure love I only dreamed existed. He doesn't speak, not in words, but the images he sends me and the emotion are so much I fall to my knees next to him and hug him while he chuffs softly in my ear.
The puppies are next, their twin joy filling me with happiness.
And then there is only Beckett. He holds himself apart from me, eyes cast down.
“You don't have to,” I tell him.
He shakes his head, holds out his hand. “For Poppy and Duet,” he says. Finally meets my eyes. “For you.”
Beckett is beautiful inside. Warm and vibrant, life-pulse powerful, pulling me closer, like a beacon. I let myself explore him more than the others, to enjoy for a bit the way he feels. When I'm done, his mental voice is firm, but kind.
A gift. He nods. Not a curse, Trio. We'll always be grateful.
With him looking at me like that, I almost believe it's true.
***
Chapter Thirty Six
It's dark when we emerge from the garage in our Crawler truck and trundle down West 43rd toward 5th Avenue. I turn in the passenger's seat, Beckett behind the wheel beside me, to see the two refitted Tek SUV's turn the opposite way, heading toward West 44th. Circling around.
The plan is simple. We're going right to them, our Crawler vehicle hopefully enough of a camouflage to get us close to the shattered front door while Ever and her Teks attack from the other side, their weapons distracting the Crawlers.
