by Ginny Dye
Rose had to repeatedly remind herself she was listening to a young girl of only thirteen. She already knew how extraordinary Felicia was, but the girl’s knowledge and her ability to communicate it far surpassed any other young woman Rose knew, including those far older. It was a blessing, but it would also make life difficult for her.
“I learned during the last ten days that my being smart will sometimes make things harder for me. I’m young, I’m smart, and I’m black.” She shrugged. “I can’t change that, but I know there are people who will want to put me in my place. They will be threatened by who I am so they will try to diminish me. I can’t stop it from happening, but I can refuse to believe what they tell me.” Her gaze swept the room again. “I’m counting on all of you to remind me.”
A murmur of ascent filled the room.
Felicia sighed. “There is so much more, but it’s not possible to say it all. I want all of you to know you changed my life during the last ten days. I expected good things when I told Mama I wanted to talk to all of you, but I didn’t really understand how much it would mean to me. Thank you all,” she said.
Rose stood and stepped forward. “I know there are things all of you want to say, but it’s not time yet. I asked Felicia to do a project that would help someone, and I will be learning of it for the first time tonight, along with the rest of you.” She sat back down and waited expectantly.
Felicia walked to one of the shelves in the library and took down a thick, leather-bound book. Rose had seen her writing in it over the last week but didn’t know what it contained.
Felicia held the book carefully. “I asked Thomas to bring this to me when he came from Richmond,” she began. She looked at Carrie, then Janie, and finally Chooli. “Chooli was the one who gave me the idea for the rite of passage, so I wanted to do something to help her people. I can’t go out to New Mexico with Carrie and Janie, but I could create something that would help them.” She held up the book. “I’ve done a lot of studying about the Navajo, about the Santa Fe Trail, and about New Mexico since Chooli got here, and especially since Carrie decided to go out there. I’ve written down everything I believe will be helpful in this book.”
Carrie and Janie both inhaled sharply. Chooli clasped her hands together, her eyes shining with pride and delight.
Felicia presented the book to Carrie. “You can read it before you leave, but you should take it with you on the Santa Fe Trail. It will help you with what you experience and with how to work with the Navajo so you can make the most difference.”
Carrie jumped up and pulled Felicia into a fierce hug. “Thank you,” she cried. “This is perfect!”
Felicia looked down shyly until Chooli took her hands.
“You are my sister,” Chooli said. “You are now a woman, but you have long been a woman because of what you have suffered. We have both watched as horrible things happened to our people. You have done a great thing that will help the Navajo. I will always be grateful for you, Felicia.”
Felicia threw her arms around Chooli. “I love you. I’m going to miss you when we leave.”
A somberness spread through the room in the wake of Felicia’s statement. Their departure had been pushed to the background, but now there it was in stark reality. Rose stepped forward, grateful beyond words for the time she had spent with Carrie and Abby that morning. “Leaving all of you will be one of the hardest things we have ever done. I thought this afternoon about the day Moses and I escaped the plantation through the Underground Railroad. I was so happy to be free, but it tore my heart in two to leave Carrie. Still, we both knew we had to take the opportunity while we had it.” She smiled at her best friend. “I could never have dreamed that someday we would all be living on the plantation together as free people, or that I would have three beautiful children, and that Moses would own the place where we were once slaves. I have a vivid imagination, but I would have been certain I was hallucinating if I had envisioned such a thing.” She smiled softly as she remembered. “The point is that I could never have imagined the outcome when we left that day. I walked into the unknown and did what I believed was the right thing for us at that moment. No one in this room can imagine what is waiting for all of us in the future. We have been brought together with a bond stronger than anything we could have imagined. Our lives may change, but we will always be a part of each other.”
Rose cleared her throat and brought the evening back to Felicia. “We are not done with the Cocooning Rite yet.” She smiled at Felicia, beckoning her daughter to join her in the middle of the circle. “This is everyone’s opportunity to welcome Felicia into womanhood.” She waved her arm around the room. “Into the Circle of Women, and especially the women in this room tonight who have helped lay the foundation for Felicia’s life.” She slipped her arm around the girl’s slender waist, noticing how her body was blooming into womanhood. “I will begin.”
Rose turned to her daughter, releasing her waist as she grasped both her hands. “Felicia, you have been a gift from the moment you stepped into my life. It has been one of the greatest privileges of my life to be your mama. Perhaps more importantly, it has been one of the greatest joys of my life.” She smiled tenderly as a sheen of tears appeared in Felicia’s eyes. “There have been so many times I have felt inadequate to be your mama because you are so extraordinary, but we have learned together and grown into a family. Your daddy and I could not be prouder of you, or love you more, if you were our flesh and blood daughter. You will forever be ours, and we both know you are going to do amazing things with your life. As you become a woman, I want you to know you will always be our little girl, and we will always be here for you.” She hugged Felicia to her tightly, and then moved to her place in the circle and sat down.
She beckoned to Abby. “Please go next. Carrie will follow you, and then we will continue until we have gone around the circle.”
The rest of the Cocooning Rite passed with words of encouragement, challenges, laughter, tears, and incalculable love. The fire burned strongly as the first snowstorm of 1868 battered the windows with wind and hard, icy flakes.
Rose watched, her heart swelling with so much emotion she feared she could not contain it. The women in this room would always be the most important people in her world. Her family was moving into a new season of life that would bring different experiences and people, but no one could ever replace what was already hers. The women in this room had lived through a war, and were now taking bold actions to rebuild a shattered America into a country they could be proud of.
When Janie, the last one in the circle, finished speaking, Rose stood and took her place by Felicia again. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a long, narrow white box. As Felicia watched wide-eyed, she pulled the cover off the box and slipped out a lovely sterling silver necklace. Dangling from the silver strand was a star set with a tiny diamond that caught the light of the fire and sent it shooting through the room.
Felicia gasped and put her hand over her mouth. “For me?” she whispered.
Rose smiled gently and placed the necklace around her daughter’s neck. “All the women in this room got together for this necklace. It is from Tiffany’s in New York City. Abby received it in the mail from a friend the day before she came to the plantation. We chose a star because you are such a bright light in our lives, but also because we know you are going to be a glittering light in the world.” She turned Felicia to face everyone in the circle, and then closed the clasp on the necklace. She stepped back to leave Felicia standing alone. “Felicia Samuels, you are now a woman.”
Applause filled the room as Felicia stood tall and proud, her eyes glistening while a radiant smile lit her face.
*****
“And now I think the men are waiting for us to join them,” Rose said when silence had fallen on the room again.
“Actually…” Felicia raised a hand, a shy, hesitant smile replacing the radiant one. “We’re not quite done here.”
Rose raised a brow. “Did I forget
something?”
Felicia shook her head quickly. “No, mama. You don’t know about this.” The same smile flashed again. “When you told me I needed to do a project to help someone, you didn’t tell me I could only do one.”
“That’s true,” Rose agreed.
“So,” Felicia rushed on, “I decided to do something for Grandma Annie.”
“What you say, girl?” Annie exclaimed. “What you be up to? I ain’t got nothin’ I need.”
“That’s not true!” Felicia objected.
Rose saw Felicia exchange a look with Chooli. The Navajo woman who had become like a sister to her daughter, grinned and nodded.
“You just tell me what I be needin’,” Annie demanded.
“You need a husband,” Felicia said firmly.
Rose’s eyes widened as she suddenly understood what was going on, but a quick look at Annie revealed her mother-in-law had not caught on yet.
Felicia walked over to kneel in front of her grandmother. “You know you love Miles, Grandma Annie. Miles knows you love him. You should be married.”
“What nonsense!” Annie sputtered. “Women don’t get married at my age.”
Felicia shook her head. “We’ve had this conversation already,” Felicia said patiently. “You’re never too old for love, and you are in love with Miles.” She took a deep breath. “Miles is waiting outside in the parlor to marry you.” Felicia’s words hung in the room for a long moment before Annie made sense of them.
“What you say?” Annie’s voice was tremulous now. “What did you do?”
Felicia continued, her voice hesitant now. “You know you love Miles, Grandma Annie. It’s not right that y’all shouldn’t be together. Mama said I should do something to help someone. I made the book for Carrie, Janie and Chooli, but I also wanted to do something for you.” She reached out to grasp Annie’s hands. “I’ve never had a grandma. I love you.” Her voice took on an imploring tone. “Please let me do this for you. And for Miles,” she added. “He loves you so much, Grandma Annie. He wants to marry you.”
“Why didn’t that fool ask me himself?” Annie snapped, her eyes full of something like surprised pleasure.
“Because he knew you would say no,” Chooli replied calmly.
Annie’s head whipped around. “You a part of this nonsense?”
“It’s not nonsense,” Chooli answered. “And you already know you want it. You’re just having a hard time doing something for yourself because you are so used to just giving.”
Rose laughed softly. “They’re right, Annie. You need to put Miles out of his misery, and you deserve to be with someone who loves you.”
Choruses of approval sounded from around the room.
Rose turned to Felicia. “What is waiting out there?”
Felicia grinned, her hesitancy gone. “Miles is waiting.”
“Who gonna marry us?” Annie demanded, obviously believing she had found a way out of the situation. “Can’t be married without no preacher.”
“I know,” Felicia answered, and then smiled slyly. “I bet you didn’t know that Franklin was ordained as a preacher during the war, did you?”
Annie’s mouth dropped open. “Franklin be a preacher?”
Felicia nodded vigorously. “He’s waiting with everyone out there now.”
Annie stared at her, but couldn’t seem to find any more words.
Felicia suddenly looked uncertain. “Was I wrong, Grandma Annie? Maybe you don’t really love Miles…” Her voice faltered.
Annie’s expression changed to one of concern for her granddaughter. “Of course I love that old man,” she stated in a voice that brooked no nonsense. “I just didn’t figure on gettin’ married again.”
“But you want to?” Felicia pressed in a hopeful voice.
Rose bit back her laugh. She didn’t know if she should be impressed or dismayed that Felicia was so skillfully manipulating her grandmother into submission.
Annie sighed. “Yep,” she finally muttered. Then her shoulders straightened. “All y’all get on out of this room. You send that Miles in here. I ain’t marryin’ no one that ain’t asked me proper.”
Felicia jumped up and beckoned everyone toward the door. “Yes, ma’am.” Then she leaned down and kissed Annie’s plump cheek. “You’re going to make a beautiful bride.”
Annie glared at her, and then looked down at her plain dress with sadness. “I don’t reckon it matter what I be wearing when I get hitched.”
Felicia grinned again. “There is a dress hanging behind the big mirror. Chooli made it for you!”
Annie raised her hands to her cheeks, her eyes shining with tears.
Chooli dashed over and pulled the dress down from where it had been hidden. The soft blue color glowed in the firelight. “I’m sure it will fit, Annie.”
“It’s beautiful!” Rose exclaimed.
“It’s perfect,” Abby said happily. “We’ll send Miles in, and then we’ll come back to help you get ready.”
“I certainly don’t need the bunch of you to get me dressed,” Annie growled, but her face was glowing.
“No,” Rose agreed, “but it will probably take all of us to get you through the door into the parlor once you are.”
Miles must have said the right things, because he emerged from the library after only a few minutes, a satisfied smile on his face. “Y’all can go on in now,” he said happily.
*****
The wedding ceremony was simple and brief, but Rose had never seen her mother-in-law’s face exhibit so much happiness. Her head had been held high with pride when Moses had walked her to where Franklin had waited beside the fireplace, and her voice had resounded with joy as she declared her vows. Miles had fairly glowed with delight as he promised to love his wife. Rose was confident Annie was in good hands. She knew the two would make each other happy for however long they had left.
Felicia’s celebration food turned into a wedding reception as laughter rang through the house late into the night.
Rose slipped up beside Felicia when she caught her standing alone beside the window. “I’m so proud of you,” she said softly as she slipped an arm around her waist.
Felicia leaned into her. “I love seeing Grandma Annie so happy.”
“And you?” Rose asked.
“I’m going to like being a woman,” Felicia admitted as she turned and threw her arms around her. “Thank you for my Cocooning Rite, Mama!”
Chapter Seventeen
Carrie stood with Rose and Moses on the Broad Street Station platform, the raucous noises of Richmond swelling around them. Carriages clattered on cobblestone; train whistles blew at the same time wheels screeched against metal; conductors and ticket agents called out instructions as people began to board the trains. Felicia sat with Hope and John on a bench within sight.
Carrie stared at the two people who were such an integral part of her life. “I…I don’t know how to do this.”
Rose and Moses shook their heads, their eyes revealing the same dilemma.
“How to say good-bye again?” Carrie murmured, her heart already aching. She knew the separation was because of choices they were all making, but that knowledge did nothing to make her feel better. Her mind searched for a way to make it easier.
“You can’t you know,” Rose stated.
“Can’t?” Carrie asked. “Can’t what?”
“You can’t make this easier,” her friend replied. “We are all going to get on that train and shed tears for what we are leaving behind. We are going to miss each other terribly, and we are going to wonder if we are doing the right thing.” Rose paused. “And then we are going to turn our eyes to what comes next in life. The missing will not be easier, but we are all walking the path we are meant to walk.”
Moses nodded his head. “Just like when we rode away with you the day we escaped with Mike O’Leary. We wanted to be free, but we didn’t want to say good-bye to you. It’s the same right now. We want to go to school, and you want to go to New
Mexico, but we don’t want to say good-bye.” He sighed heavily. “Just like before, we have to.”
Carrie knew he was right. Oh, they didn’t have to leave each other. They could all make the choice to stay on the plantation together, but then they wouldn’t be fulfilling the purpose of their lives, and they would end up feeling dissatisfied. She summoned her courage. “There is no war this time. We can write letters, and we can visit.”
“Once you get back from your grand adventure in New Mexico,” Rose reminded her. “I don’t imagine you’ll pass many post offices on the Santa Fe Trail.”
Carrie frowned. “I will at least send you a telegraph from Santa Fe when I arrive in New Mexico,” she promised. “And I still have almost four weeks before I leave.”
“All Aboard to Philadelphia!”
Carrie flashed a look toward the train on the other side of the station. She grabbed Moses in a fierce hug, feeling his breath catch. “I love you,” she whispered as she leaned back to stare up into his face.
“And I love you, Carrie Borden,” Moses answered in a husky voice, his face tight with emotion.
Carrie took a deep breath, and then turned to Rose. They had decided together to never say good-bye again. Their life was going to be a series of separations now that they were adults, but they were not going to say good-bye. Carrie raised her hand and laid it on Rose’s cheek. “See you later.”
“See you later,” Rose replied, her voice steady, though tears were quivering on her eyelids. “I love you.”
Carrie threw her arms around her best friend and clung tightly. “I love you!”
“Last call for Philadelphia. All Aboard!”
Rose pulled away, brushed aside her tears and nudged Carrie. “Go. You can’t miss this train.”
Carrie gulped back the sobs that were threatening, grabbed the satchel she was carrying, and dashed across the platform. She leapt up the stairs, mindless of what anyone thought of a proper young woman running wildly through a train station, and then turned back to wave at her friends. Rose, Moses, Felicia, John and Hope, standing together as a family, were watching her. They all waved madly. Carrie locked eyes with Rose for a long moment before she turned and disappeared into her car.
