Marissa closed her laptop and set it aside. “Have you talked to Griffin? Like, really talked to him?”
“About what?”
“About all the stuff going on inside you that you haven’t even told me?”
Tabs blinked. “Stuff? Inside me? What stuff? I have no stuff. I’m completely stuffless.”
“No, I don’t think you are. I think you have so much stuff, you don’t know what to do with it, and it’s eating you alive. And if you don’t talk to him and get it out in the open, you’ll just implode somewhere and make a big mess. And I don’t want to follow you around carrying a mop.”
Tabs thought about that for a long minute. What if she talked to him? What if she really, really talked to him? What would happen? He could hurt her—he could break her into a million pieces. But maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he’d surprise her. Maybe he really had changed.
“I don’t know, Marissa. All I know is that he’s got my insides so tied up in knots, I feel like it’ll never unravel.”
Marissa nodded. “Are you still worried about how I feel?”
“No—I know the two of you are fine. I mean, it’s still kind of weird, but I know you’re over.”
“Good. Because we’re over. Definitely over. I don’t even want to come into this equation.”
“I wish there wasn’t an equation to come into!” Tabs picked up a throw pillow and buried her face in it.
“But there is, and you’re going to have to deal with it sooner or later. You can’t go on like this. Even after you never see him again after this project, you’re still going to be carrying this around with you, and I don’t think you want that.”
“Fine. I’ll deal with it,” Tabs said into the pillow. But only because Marissa was right—not because she wanted to.
***
“Thanks for meeting with me, Griffin.” Matt Kingston invited Griffin into his living room and motioned for him to take a seat. “I’m excited to hear a little more about your family and see what I can do to help.”
“I don’t really know a lot,” Griffin said as he leaned back and crossed one ankle over the opposite knee. “I did a little bit of digging on my own when I turned eighteen, but that got me nowhere, so I gave up.”
“Tell me what you do know, and we’ll go from there,” Matt said. He picked up his laptop and prepared to take notes.
“On August thirty-first, nineteen eighty-seven, I showed up at a police station in Dallas, Texas. They figured I was about three months old. No one knows how I got there—the surveillance tapes didn’t show anything, no one saw anything. It was like I just appeared there in a car seat in the middle of the hall. The police immediately put my picture on the news and did everything they could to try to track down my parents, but they came up totally dry. I was placed in the foster care system, where I stayed until I was eighteen, and then I went out on my own.”
Matt nodded. “That’s quite a puzzle. It’s a good thing I love puzzles. Let’s see—that would make you thirty-one now?”
“Yeah. They assigned me a birthday, May tenth, and gave me a name—Griffin Baker—and that’s what I’ve lived by ever since.”
“Who named you and gave you this birthday? And is that your legal name, or just what they call you?”
“The sergeant who found me in the hallway named me. He and his wife kept me for the first couple of days until a foster family was able to take me in. That’s my legal name—they applied for it and everything—but I don’t know if there’s such a thing as a legal birthday. I’ve never thought about that.”
“Do you know the sergeant’s name?” Matt asked.
“No. I don’t even know what police station it was.”
Matt chuckled. “You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?”
“I’m sorry—I wish I could help you more.” Griffin pulled a sheet of paper from his pocket. “Here’s a list of my foster homes, and the name of my social worker, although I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s passed on by now. She was probably fifty when she was assigned to me. And this foster family, the McClains? They had me the longest, from the time I was thirteen until I was eighteen, and they’re the closest thing to a family I have. They’re amazing. I’m sure they’ll tell you anything you need to know.”
Matt took the paper and studied it. “This looks great. Is there anything else you can tell me?”
Griffin shifted a little in his chair. “I don’t think this is relevant, but you might run into it, so I’ll just tell you that I have a record for shoplifting. One of my foster families didn’t have a lot of money, and meals were kind of scanty, so I’d shoplift when I was hungry. I got caught, but they were pretty lenient to me because of the situation. Not lenient enough to give me a clean record, though.”
Matt was silent for a moment. “I’m really sorry to hear that, Griffin. My wife and I have four children, and it’s sad to think about kids going hungry.”
“You know, at first I was angry about it and blamed the system, but then I realized, it all led me to the McClains, who showed me genuine love. I was thrown out of the place where I’d been living when I was arrested, and sent to the McClains’ ranch. If it wasn’t for that, I don’t know where I’d be right now, so I have to thank God for that path. I wasn’t put on it accidentally—I know it.”
“It’s pretty amazing how things like that turn out, isn’t it?” Matt made a few more notes on his laptop. “Okay, I’ll get started on this. Now, I know you’re already aware that this is a long shot, but I will give it everything I have. Maybe I’ll even pull some new tricks out of my sleeve.”
“I appreciate it.” Griffin stood up and shook Matt’s hand. “Even if you come up dry, thank you for the effort.”
“This is going to be fun,” Matt replied. “I really should be thanking you for giving me something juicy to sink my teeth into.”
As Griffin drove away from Matt’s house, he thought back on what he’d told Matt about the McClains and their kindness. They were the same sort of people as Andrew—they gave and gave of themselves for the betterment of those around them. He wondered just how many lives they’d changed through their work on the ranch—hundreds, he was sure of it, and some had even stayed on the ranch to help continue the legacy, including his friend Max. He’d gotten word a while back that Max had gotten married to a girl who had worked at a ranch in Idaho—he wished them every happiness. Max deserved it—he was a good man who was now teaching other troubled boys how to become good men too.
He steered his truck along the river, then parked when he reached a good spot to walk down and sit at the water’s edge. The rushing sound of water hitting rocks helped drown out the loudest voices in his head so he could listen to the quiet ones, the ones that lingered beneath the surface and were often ignored because they didn’t yell and scream.
When he looked at his life, he could see time and again where he’d been saved or blessed or put in the right place at the right time. Few others in his situation had ended up in such a good position, and he was awed and grateful by how things had played out for him. He was still working on smoothing the edges off his callous heart, but he’d come a long way. Now he needed to decide which path to take next on this journey.
What did he want for his future? He closed his eyes and imagined what it would be like to take the McClains up on their offer, and then what it would be like if he turned them down. Tabs’ little trick was pretty effective—as he imagined each scenario and how he would feel, he was able to see how very much he wanted to accept. He could see how taking his business to the next level would not only make him a better profit, but would make him so much happier. He’d be able to utilize more of his skills, he wouldn’t feel limited by just what an architect could do, and he could see how it might expand into a legacy for his children.
He’d need a lot of help, but he knew who to ask. Amazingly, all that had fallen into place for him too.
He pictured it again—starting up the new branch of the company, meetin
g with potential clients, going out on the worksite in a hard hat, discussing things with the crew. It was right. He couldn’t deny it—it felt so right. And if he didn’t take this chance, he might be turning his back on yet another one of those great blessings that had been brought into his life, and he didn’t want to risk that.
He stood up from the bank, grinning, feeling more sure about things that he had in a long time. As he walked back to his truck, he pulled out his phone and sent Tabs a quick text. Can I come over? I’d like to talk.
Chapter Eleven
Tabs had been a total mess since she’d spoken with Marissa the night before. It was like Marissa had taken down all the barriers that stood in her way and said, “Go get him.” But Tabs wasn’t sure that she wanted to go get him.
The question festered in her mind most of the night and through half the morning. She tried to push it aside as she flipped through some magazines for ideas—Florence had found a condo near the hotel, and had asked for advice on how to decorate it. She had made some notes, but she couldn’t concentrate, and that was annoying because she liked being able to concentrate.
Then her phone buzzed with a text from Griffin, asking if he could come over.
Sheer panic.
She raced around the living room, making sure it was tidy. Then she ran into her room and stood in front of her closet, trying to decide if she should change her shirt or if she was fine in what she was wearing. Then she powdered her face and put on a little bit of gloss. She brushed her teeth, then put on more gloss. Good grief—she was losing her mind. Maybe she really was about to implode, just like Marissa had warned her.
When the knock sounded on her door twenty minutes later, she jumped, but took a deep breath and calmed down as she walked over to answer it. Griffin stood there holding a small bouquet of flowers and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
Crud. He’d figured out her Kryptonite.
“Thanks for letting me come over,” he said. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind, and you were so great the other day . . .”
She took the things from his hands, set them on the table, and then threw herself into his arms. She didn’t even know she was going to do it until she was kissing him. She must have startled him as well, as it took him a moment to react, but then his arms came around her and he was kissing her back just as much as she was kissing him.
Oh, holy cow. If she thought she’d ever been kissed before, she was wrong. He was well and truly kissing her like no one had ever been kissed in the history of kissing, she was pretty sure. And the only reason she let him go was to breathe, because breathing is important.
“Wow,” he said, staring down at her. “Um, not at all what I was expecting, but I’m not complaining.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t really expecting that either, but whaddya gonna do?” She took a step back and tried to act natural, but that would take a miracle. Her heart was pounding, her mind was racing, and she had goose bumps. Everything she’d wanted from Tony’s kiss, she had gotten just now, and she sat down on the couch, trying to make sense out of it.
Griffin sat down across from her and cleared his throat. “Should we talk about that, or should we ignore it and just move on to why I’m here, or what?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I’m not sure what to do now.”
“How about . . . well, I’ll tell you why I’m here, okay? And then we’ll figure the rest of it out.”
“Okay.”
He leaned forward. “I’ve had an investor offer to lend me some money to expand my company, and they’re good people to work with, so I think I’ve decided to go for it. I wanted to talk to you about it, though, because you’d be part of it, if you wanted to be. You see, I’ve always wanted to build as well as design, and expanding my company into construction would give me that ability. I also want to add an interior decorating element so the client can work with us from start to finish, from design to grand opening. I’m going to talk to Rob and see if he’d like to partner with me, and I think you and Marissa would be a great addition. I don’t think I’d want to partner with you, but have you work as contract workers for me so you could still take on other jobs and whatnot. What do you think?”
Tabs was trying to listen—she really was. But her brain just couldn’t make sense out of anything he’d just said.
“Tabs? What do you think?” he repeated.
“I think I’m in love with you,” she replied, then clapped her hand over her mouth. Why had she said that? Of all the lame-brained . . .
“Okay, you’re really not in the mood to talk business right now, are you?” Griffin smiled, then chuckled. “What’s going on?”
How could she explain this when she wasn’t even sure herself? “Okay, so, we were hired to work that job together, right? And I was mad at you because you’d crushed Marissa into a million pieces, but at the same time, you were really hot, and you were funny and charming, and I started to like you. But that made me mad because I shouldn’t like you—you were such a jerk. But as we spent more time together, I really started to like you, which made me even more mad, and then you asked me out. And I wanted to say yes, but . . .”
“But you were mad?”
“No, I was scared.” She looked down at her hands, wondering why she was taking this risk. But if she ever wanted to feel his arms around her again and feel everything she’d felt while she was kissing him, this had to be resolved. “You’d broken up with Marissa because she wanted to get married, and I didn’t want to be another five-minute relationship. I’m the kind of girl you marry, not the kind you just hang out with for a while. I’m looking for permanence. I want a family. And I knew . . . I knew that once we started dating, I was going to want to make it forever, and that’s not what you wanted, and I couldn’t stand the idea of falling in love with you and then being thrown away.”
“So all this time . . .”
“So all this time, I’ve had these crazy, mixed-up feelings, and I’ve been fighting myself tooth and nail trying to decide what to do, and it was easier to hate you than to try not to love you . . . if that makes sense.”
He crossed the floor and sat on the ottoman in front of her. “Tabs? Did you say something about falling in love with me?”
She squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe she’d be less embarrassed if she couldn’t see him. “Yes. I think I did.”
He picked up her hands, held them between his, and kissed them. “You really don’t know how hard I’ve wished to hear you say that.”
“But I only said I think I’m falling in love with you. There was nothing definite in my statement whatsoever.”
He didn’t reply, and she opened one eye to see him grinning. “I’ll take it. It’s more than I had twenty minutes ago.” He held her hands a bit tighter. “Tabs, listen to me. I will never throw you away. If for some reason things don’t work out between us and we decide we need to end it, we’ll talk it out and we’ll both feel right about the decision. I learned a hard, hard lesson when I dumped Marissa—I learned that I was a rotten human being, but I also learned that I could be better. And I want to be better for you.”
“I just wish there was some way to know for sure,” she said. If only she didn’t sound so whiny.
“We can’t know until we give it a try. All I can do is promise you a couple of things, okay? I’ve never had a problem being honest in business, but when it comes to relationships? It’s so much easier just to go with the flow than to say what I’m really thinking, but I’m going to change that. You’re going to know what I’m thinking and feeling, and I will never lie to you.”
Tabs blinked away some tears that had formed while he was speaking. “I think that’s about all I could really hope for.”
He smiled. “So, what do you say? Should we give this thing a shot and see where it takes us? I don’t think we’re ready to make any long-term commitments—we’ve got a whole lot of history to live down—but I’d very much like to date exclusively or go steady or whatever it is people do these da
ys.”
She laughed. “I think they call it having a girlfriend.”
“Okay, then. Tabs, will you be my girlfriend?”
She wiped her cheeks. Was this really happening? What sort of crazy, mixed-up alternate reality had she entered? “Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.”
He slid off the ottoman onto the couch next to her and tugged her into his arms. He didn’t have to tug hard—she went willingly. “Thank you,” he said, brushing his lips across her forehead. “Believe me, I know you’re taking a leap of faith with me—I won’t make you regret it.”
“I hope not, because there’s something you don’t know about me.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“I’m a ninja, and I have ninja moves.” She held up both hands to demonstrate.
“So if I break your heart, you’ll . . .”
“I’ll break your nose. With my ninja moves.”
“I see.” He cupped her cheek with his hand and kissed her nose. “Like that?”
“Um, not quite, but I like your way better.” She turned to face him a little more and lifted her chin so he could reach her lips easier. And he didn’t disappoint her.
***
Griffin had left Tabs’ apartment about half an hour after he got there, completely stunned by what had just happened. She’d actually had feelings for him this whole time . . . and if he’d handled the situation differently, the outcome would have been everything he’d wanted. He should have been upfront, explained why he’d dumped Marissa, and told Tabs why he felt ready to make a commitment to her. If he’d just said all that from the start . . . But he couldn’t beat himself up for the past. All he could do now was make better choices in the future, and he was absolutely committed to doing that. He wouldn’t be the old Griffin ever again.
He had a few things to take care of before that vow could really take effect. He started by driving over to the hotel, hoping to find Marissa there, and he did. She was sitting on the steps leading upstairs with two carpet samples in her hand, first laying one down beside her, and then the other.
Heartstrings (Brody Hotel Book 2) Page 9
