by Ciara Knight
His hand clasped my shoulder, holding me fast. “I’ve known about the prophecy for years. And you’re right, it isn’t about Penton. It wasn’t about anyone at the Arc at that time.”
“Thanks for sharing.” I jerked free and rushed for the door. As my finger brushed the handle, Ryder’s hand whipped by my head and flattened on the door with a thwack.
Balling my fists, I spun and pounded them against his chest. “Why did you leave me? You rejected me. Without you, I’ve struggled every damn day, fearing I’m becoming what I hate most, Mandesa.”
His chest pressed against mine, pushing me back against the door as his hands cupped my face. “I don’t know everything that happened that day in the weaponry. But I suspect there’s more than you’re telling me.” When I tried to look down, he tipped my chin up and forced me to meet his gaze.
“I wouldn’t have sent you into that inferno,” I said, “and even though I didn’t believe Penton was the one the seer had prophesized, I still sent him to a sure death. He’s not just our friend, but the love of Raeth’s life. What kind of person does that make me?”
“A commander. You immediately recognized that Penton was the only person in the Arc who had a shot at extinguishing the firestorm. In seconds, you weighed the costs and chose to save all the lives in the Arc against that of one person—Penton.”
“Wrong. Raeth would’ve died, too.”
“No, she wouldn’t. Her love for us is too great. In time, she would’ve recovered. Once she remembered it was Penton’s suggestion, she’d take comfort in the fact he’d died a hero because his actions had saved over three thousand lives.”
Kneeling in front of me, he wrapped one arm around my waist and the other around my thighs. “I’m not sure how we got to this point. I pulled back because I felt you closing off.” At my gasp of denial, he pressed his lips to my stomach. “You know it’s true. Just as you wouldn’t allow me to die, I’m not letting you continue to pull away.”
“I haven’t been.”
“Yes, love, you have…and so have I. Ever since I lost my gift, I thought I couldn’t protect you. That I didn’t deserve to be with you if I wasn’t part of the Triune, but your father and Briggs made me see we were still stronger together.”
His arms clasped around me, he stood and clutched me to his chest so tightly I had trouble breathing. Then he whispered against my ear, “My heart aches to reconnect with you. My hands yearn to touch you, and for your mind and body to respond with passion and an open heart. I’m sorry you felt rejected. I thought I wasn’t worthy of your love.”
Tears rained down my cheeks. I pulled back and scooted to the side, needing to escape him. His touch weakened me. His pleading gaze begged me to trust him, and his words made me doubt myself.
Before I could turn away, he caught my hand, holding me fast. “Look at me.” His voice deepened as he said, “Where’s your courage, Semara?”
I tilted my head to meet his frustrated, yet sorrowful gaze. “I’m not scared of anything.”
“Prove it. Love me. Marry me. Be by my side even after we’ve returned to stardust. Don’t waste the time we have. Open your heart and let me in.”
I stared at him for a moment before finding my voice. “If my heart’s closed, it’s because you abandoned me. And for my sanity’s sake, I left you alone as you wished.” I almost collapsed from the pain the last eighteen months of isolation had caused. Only pride kept my back rigid and voice firm. “Why, after all this time, have you suddenly decided you want me?”
“I didn’t abandon you,” Ryder said, his voice pleading. “I love you. I’ve never stopped, but you pulled back from me. I thought it was because of the loss of my gift, but your father guarantees that wasn’t the case. So, tell me why?”
I ignored his question and shot back one of my own. “Why did you stop telling me you loved me? Why did you only talk about Briggs and Laos?”
“Briggs was still recovering, and she understood what it felt like to be half of who you once were. Laos is a small boy, and he was traumatized.”
“Answer me!” I yelled. “Why did you leave me.”
Ryder sighed. “I wasn’t fit to be around. Now answer me, why’d you turn away from me when I needed you, Semara?
“I needed you, too, but you were too busy drowning in false guilt.” I had to swallow back the threatening tears before I could continue. “You left me for Briggs because she’s human, not Neumarian like me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“From the moment you awoke and realized you didn’t have your gifts, you left me. Oh sure, you were here physically, but not here,” I said, touching my head then my heart, “or here. Why didn’t you trust me, love me enough to stay? You thought I’d turn my back on you? That I only loved you because you took my pain away? Well, I never felt pain like when you walked away from me!”
His face paled. Mouth open, his gaze looked anywhere but at me. Furious, I jabbed his chest with my finger. Seeing his eyes fill with unshed tears, I almost weakened, but I’d come this far. I might as well get to the truth that he didn’t want me so I could move forward. “Answer me, damn you. You say you spoke with Father, Briggs, and everyone else, but me. Why?”
“It started when Briggs was in the hospital because of me and I couldn’t heal her. Guilt consumed me. Losing me destroyed the Triune. The prophecy says we, the Triune, will win the war, that we’re the world’s savior, but there’s no me anymore. Without my gifts, I’m half a man. Useless. Empty. I don’t know what to do.”
How had I been so blind? He had been suffering as well, but all I saw was my own pain.
His forehead touched mine. “I’m sorry. If I’d known…No, the truth is, I was afraid, too.” I needed time to come to grips with what I am now, but when I did, you’d pulled away. Why? What’re you scared of?”
I jerked back. Swallowing hard, I stared at him, adrift, unsure how to answer. I opened then closed my mouth. And suddenly, the truth came pouring out. “The war…and losing everything. You dying. The two of us and everyone we love dying, or worse leaving me. Betraying me. Father left, Bendar betrayed me. Mandesa has a way of corrupting everyone I love, destroying everything I care about.”
Ryder lifted me and carried me to the bed. Setting me down, he lay beside me, wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and caressed my cheek. “You’re forgetting the reason why we’re fighting—for freedom. So that our children can live without fear or being viewed as objects, good for nothing but slavery and experimentation. We—humans, Neumarians, and like-minded slags—won’t be quiet until we end Mandesa and her allies’ tyranny.”
I shoved at him and rolled away.
He pulled me back to him, immobilizing me. “We’re not done.”
Struggling to free myself, I ground out, “If you don’t release me, I’ll call my father with one thought and tell him you’re keeping me here against my will.”
“Remember him telling us to clear the air?” At my grimace, Ryder chuckled. “Who do you think told me you were in weaponry? He’s worried you’re pulling back from all of us, and you have, whether you realize it or not, since you learned the truth about Bendar. He doesn’t want you following his example, shutting everyone out of your life. It was only with your return that he recognized the truth. His actions and behavior were like Mandesa’s.”
Dread swamped me. “He’s General Bellator. He has to be strong. If I made him soft…”
Ryder caressed my arms, but I remained rigid. “You haven’t. Finding you made him realize why he initially fought Mandesa’s domination. This war isn’t about revenge for your mother’s death, or my parents, or actions of the past. It’s about the future.”
Sweat puddled at the small of my back. My breathing grew shallow and labored. “I’m a weakness, a tool she can use against him, against you. Just as she’s using you and Raeth against me.” Tremors escalated to full-on spasms.
Ryder clasped me to him, holding me tight. “That’s it, let it go. I’m here. Tr
ust me. I’ll never betray you. I’ll always love you. ”
“F-for how long?”
“Forever,” he whispered into my hair. “I’ve told you, even in death we’ll be stardust together.” Ryder’s eyes mesmerized me, willing me to let him back into my mind and heart. And I’d give in, too, if he didn’t stop.
Instead of letting me go, he kissed me. “I love you, and if you’re honest, you love me. You love those you consider family and friends. You’d lay down your life for everyone in the Arc—not just those you love. If you were like Mandesa, you wouldn’t have saved Raeth from death on Mandesa’s ship. As for Penton, I know you. You would’ve taken his place if you could have, but he was the only one who could save us. Stop punishing yourself, Semara. You made the only decision possible and he survived.” He squeezed my hands and warmth traveled up my arms into my chest.
“Stop,” I muttered. “There’s nothing to heal. I’m not broken.”
“Semara, you’ve suffered enough for one lifetime and I can ease the pain. Even if my gift is minimal, let me try. It hurts me to see you unhappy. I love you.”
“Ever since you left, I’ve been so alone, so cold.” Unable to stop them, tears seeped from my eyes.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you. I promise, I’ll never let you down again. You can trust me. I love you more than anything on Earth, and beyond.”
“Maybe we can heal each other,” I choked, fighting back the rising lump in my throat. My lip trembled. Maybe he could stop the pain, or at the very least, help me not hate the man who’d raised me. Clutching his shirt, I pressed my face to his chest. “My mother died because of Bendar’s betrayal. He told Mandesa where she, Father, and I were.”
“Ne, delaj tega,” Ryder muttered in Neumarian. He took a deep breath. “I know.” He tipped my face up and covered my lips with his. Lifting his mouth, he stared down at me and stroked my face with the backs of his fingers. “You’ll always love him. He raised you, protected you, and he loves you. Tell me how this happened.”
Before I could say a word, three tweets blasted over the Arc intercom system and my father slipped into our minds. The Councilmen Ridgecroft and McCormick’s ship is landing within five minutes. Semara, meet me in the command center ASAP. Ryder, collect Raeth and Penton, and meet us in the conference room.
As I jumped to my feet and buttoned the front of my vest, Ryder rose, rested his hands on my shoulders, and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Never doubt my love. No matter what’s happening, you can trust in that. I’ll see you in a few.” He slid his mouth to my neck and nibbled then whispered in my ear, “And tonight.”
I shivered, not wanting to move away from the warmth and love he surged into me. If it wasn’t for the continual nudging in my mind from Father, I would have never let him go, but war didn’t wait for anyone.
Twenty minutes later, I waited at the entrance of the smaller command briefing room for Father to return with the two councilmen, grateful that Father and I’d had time to work out how we’d handle this meeting. I chuckled at the memory of my father’s shark-like grin when he said, “We’ll divide and conquer.”
Still snickering, I checked my halo pad and reconfirmed the UE’s available weaponry. Hearing the lift doors open, I pivoted toward it.
Councilman Ridgecroft strode toward me, his hand out. “Corporal Bellator, a pleasure to see you again.”
I grasped his hand. “You honor us with your presence.”
Councilman McCormick—Genocide McCormick as Penton and I called him—stepped forward. “It’s been over a year since we’ve seen one another.”
Tamping down a shiver of revulsion, I forced a smile, reminding myself of Father’s adage. Keep your enemies close and thinking you weak. When ready, attack in a blitzkrieg and crush them. “Has it been that long?”
“Yes, well, I understand time passes quickly when one doesn’t live under the queen’s strong arm or had to deal with her constant attacks.”
My skin crawled at McCormick’s nearness but I kept my expression casual. “As you’re aware, we’ve suffered tragedies also.” I directed them to the other side of the table. Father and I had decided to use the smaller briefing room and a round table. That way, no one could claim they’d been slighted because they weren’t at the head of the table or seated beside Father.
I gave a small shake of my head at Ryder’s narrowed gaze and motioned to his chair, which was to my right. Once Raeth and Penton were seated, Father sat to their right. We’d felt it important to protect all three and knew they were safer between us. Dred was to my left—if required, he’d dampen the gifts of the Councilmen—and Bendar took the chair beside Father. The rest of the senior staff sat between the councilmen, Bendar, and Dred.
Mart swaggered in, nodding to each of us as she took a seat next to Ridgecroft. She sat on their side, but she was on ours.
While no weapons were visible, I knew our senior staff members were armed, their gifts primed, ready and willing to kill if Ridgecroft and McCormick looked at us the wrong way. Too bad Ryder’s gift wasn’t working. Unlike the rest of us, he could drain them of their life energy within seconds.
Father nodded to our visitors then to the members of the Arc. “Ladies, gentlemen. As you’ve no doubt heard, Mandesa’s contacted us. Councilmen Ridgecroft and McCormick are here to discuss our options.” He nodded again toward our guests. “Councilman Ridgecroft, you have the floor.”
“Thank you, General Bellator,” Ridgecroft said, leaning forward. “In the queen’s communiqué, she guaranteed that for the duration of the peace talks, a cease-fire will be in effect. She’s willing to publically sign a declaration guaranteeing this.”
We returned Ridgecroft and McCormick’s expectant gazes with silence. Surely, they weren’t so stupid as to trust Mandesa or believe her smarmy smiles of assurance. My eyes settled on McCormick. The man didn’t want to win the war. His goal was the complete destruction of Acadia, including the annihilation of all its citizens. To that end, if we didn’t yield to Mandesa’s demands, I suspected he’d take Ryder and Raeth by force. Thereby ensuring admittance to Acadia, while not caring if they were murdered and he crippled or destroyed the rebellion. He’d attack Acadia now if Mandesa didn’t overpower him in a long range fight.
McCormick studied each of us at the table. “Naturally, she has stipulated a couple of conditions.”
“We’ve heard. She will only speak with Raeth and Ryder Arteres,” Father interjected.
I suppressed a grin at the councilmen’s frozen expressions. Do our guests look unnerved to you?
Father’s mental smile stroked my mind. No surprise there. Let them run with their plans. The more they try to convince us, the more we’ll learn. Once we have them, take the stage and shoot them down. Let them know we don’t trust them any further than we do Mandesa.
“Correct, general,” McCormick said. “However, after we contacted her, Queen Valderak amended that demand. Councilman Ridgecroft will accompany them. She’s also agreed that our troops can accompany them, but must remain outside Acadia. I cannot stress the importance of this opportunity.”
Ridgecroft clasped his hands on the table. “For a chance at peace, I’m willing to bet my life on these talks.”
Bendar swiveled to face my father and me. “Not option. Council plays both sides always.”
I braced myself for Ridgecroft’s response. I knew, from overhearing his conversation with Fallon, he wanted Bendar dead. While I hadn’t fully come to terms with what he’d done, Ryder was right. I loved that little man and owed him my loyalty and life. He, as well as those false implanted memories, kept my soul whole and my ability to love and trust intact.
Ridgecroft’s lips curved into a sneer, matching McCormick’s. “Interesting observation, considering you’re labeled a traitor to your people.”
I stood, flames licking my fists at my side. “Bendar is no such thing. He was duped by Mandesa, as were many Neumarians who actually believed her about her institutions. Over the years
, he’s proven himself loyal to our cause. If General Bellator and I can—”
“I’d expect you to defend your friend,” Ridgecroft said, holding his hand up. “However, in my eyes, Bendar is a traitor, and since General McCormick and I are risking our lives for the cause by entering the queen’s territory, we’d appreciate it if he left the room.” His words were cool and controlled, but a slight glisten above his brow told me he struggled to maintain his composure.
“Bendar is part of our command team,” I replied, keeping my voice flat. “In addition, the issue at hand is neither Bendar nor the Artereses. Rather, it’s your stockpile of biological weapons. According to our information, Councilman Ridgecroft will remain with you, General McCormick, saying he’ll join them the next day. Then once the Artereses enter Acadia, you’ll launch your weapons, exterminating all who live there. That’s called genocide, gentlemen, and a crime punishable by death.”
“How did you—” McCormick began as Ridgecroft responded, “We have no such…”
I touched my halo pad and displayed my data on the master screen that covered the wall behind my chair. “Don’t bother denying it. While still at UE, I noticed discrepancies in the weapon inventory list. Since then, I’ve monitored the situation. Over the past year, biological and chemical stockpiles have lowered, yet the inventory numbers reflect nothing’s changed. Interesting, don’t you think?”
