All eyes were on Tammy Moore as she made her way to her locker to get her textbook for her first class of the day, but she didn’t seem to notice the stares that she was receiving from her peers. Although her physical body was at school, mentally she wasn’t there.
After yesterday Tammy did not want to return to school. All she wanted was to stay home in her room. However, her mother felt that she had spent more than enough time out of school. But school wasn’t at the top of Tammy’s list. From the time she woke up until the time she went to sleep, all she could think about was what she had done—killed her baby.
Several months ago she had overheard a group of girls in the school cafeteria talking about a party that some girl on Leena’s ousted list was throwing. Any enemy of Leena’s could be a friend of hers.
After school, she went home, threw on a cute purple mini dress; and before she knew it, it was time to go to the party. While there everything was going fine. Most of the people at the party were teens from other schools so most of them didn’t know her. The ones that did treated her better than the people she knew from her own high school.
One thing that she hadn’t planned on was running into Lucas while she was there. She wouldn’t have bothered to show up if she would have known that he would be there. The last time she saw him he informed her that he wasn’t the father of her unborn child. She didn’t care if he didn’t want a relationship with her because, quite frankly, she didn’t want one with him either. She wanted to co-parent the baby with him even though he didn’t want to be in the child’s life.
As she stood there in the kitchen and watched him gulp down a bottle of beer, she came to the realization that he wasn’t going to be there for their baby, but she wanted to give it one more shot before giving up.
She gazed around the kitchen. The only other people there were a few couples who were making out. “Lucas, can we go somewhere and chat for a minute?”
He lowered the bottle from his lips. He didn’t want to deal with her right now. “No,” he replied.
“It’s important.”
“Ohhh, let me guess. It’s about that baby you’re trying to pin on me, isn’t it?” The teens that were making out were no longer doing so. They were now intently watching Lucas and Tammy.
“I’m not trying to pin anything on you.”
“Yeah, you are.” He turned around, opened the refrigerator, and helped himself to another cold beer before continuing. “I already told you that it’s not mine.”
“But I haven’t been with anyone else.”
“I got you in bed on the first night. As far as I’m concerned, you probably did it with someone else.”
“I didn’t.”
He shrugged. “But I don’t know that.”
“So you don’t want to be in the baby’s life?”
“Kid’s not mine.”
The conversation with Lucas was pointless. From the way that he was acting, he didn’t want to be bothered with the baby or her—ever. “Well, I’ll be sure to tell your child one day…” she began.
“Yeah, you do that,” he interrupted.
“…What a screw up you are.”
She watched as his facial expression turned from simply unhappy to mad as hell. He couldn’t believe that he was being called a “screw up” by some girl he had only slept with once. If she wanted to play dirty, then so was he. He was going to teach her who to call a “screw up.”
He took his half full bottle of beer and poured it onto her. Two football players grabbed him while several girls ushered Tammy out of the kitchen. “I’m not the father of that slut’s baby!” she heard him yell behind her.
The girls suggested to Tammy that it may be a good idea to sit down and relax but that idea didn’t interest her. She wanted to put as much distance as she could between her and Lucas. She couldn’t believe that he would stoop so low as to pour beer onto her. She never wanted to see him again, and she didn’t want the baby anywhere near him.
She cried the entire time while driving home. She wanted to call her mother, but she knew that she’d be in big trouble if she found out that she went to the party. She smelled like beer; and if her mother was still awake, she was definitely going to be in even more trouble.
She was crying so hard now that she could barely see the road. She glanced at her phone. Should she or shouldn’t she? Her mother had always told her not to talk or text on her phone while driving, but she really wanted to talk to her. Despite the trouble she would be in, she didn’t know who else to call besides her. She took her eyes off the road and reached over onto the passenger’s seat.
“Hey, Tammy, sorry about your loss,” a girl said. She didn’t know the girl’s name but she looked so familiar. She forced a small “thank you” to come out of her mouth and then returned her attention to her locker. She didn’t want to be here and listen to people give her their condolences.
It was her mother’s idea for her to be here in the first place. Her mother wanted her to return to school even though she told her that she wasn’t ready. She loved her mother dearly, but she was angry with her for making her return all of the baby’s items. Ever since the death of her baby, they had been arguing about the baby’s belongings. Her mother had returned the crib and blankets, and she was supposed to return the clothing. But she never wanted to return them at all. The only reason she did it was because of her mother. She thought that it would be best because Tammy wouldn’t have to look at it every single day. According to her mother, this would make the recovery process easier.
Maybe it was time for Tammy to do something that was right for her.
Her mind was made up. She put all of her textbooks back in her locker. She wasn’t going to any of her classes today.
Cami and Marissa along with many other students, including Leena and Kelly, watched her make a beeline for one of the exit doors.
“Where is she going?” Marissa whispered to Cami. “She just got here.”
“Probably home,” Cami whispered back. She wanted to talk to Tammy to see how she was holding up, but by the looks of what she had just witnessed, it wasn’t good.
Tammy didn’t know how long her journey home was going to be but she was willing to walk. She would’ve driven home, but her car had been totaled in the accident.
She took her back pack off and gently laid it on the ground. She searched through it until she’d found the teddy bear.
While she walked home, she held it in her arms as if it were an infant.
Chapter 33
Cami's Decision Page 33
