True, the town didn’t seem to care who she was. The people living here hadn’t asked questions when she’d moved in. They’d taken her word and welcomed her just the same. And she liked that she hadn’t relied on her last name to find a job. To make connections. To make love.
Eddie chose me. Not my pedigree. Not my degree. He chose his screwed-up, neurotic, upstairs neighbor who slept late and occasionally spilled coffee on people and chewed her thumbnail when she got nervous. He chose me. The realization washed over her in hot waves.
She had to tell him how he'd changed her, how this place had changed her. If Marty was offering her a chance to stay, to explore the possibilities that Paradise held for her, then Ash wasn’t about to say no. Not just yet. Not when everything between her and Eddie felt so unfinished.
She stood and made her way back down St. James. At the bottom, she broke into a jog. The church clock boomed out eleven o’clock, and she hurried on. Why was it that time only dragged when you wanted to rush it along, and when you really wanted to slow it, it insisted on running away from you?
She headed back to Lycian Street. If Eddie wasn’t home yet, she’d leave him a note. She'd wedge it inside his door and ask him to come to Blues and Booze later on. She didn’t care that maybe he’d spent the night with Cass. She had explaining to do. And apologies to make.
“Hi, Ash!” Toby Darling, Celia’s son, sat on the front step of the library, tossing a baseball from one hand to the other.
A few weeks back, she’d given the ten-year-old a dish of leftover ice cream, the night the power went out and every restaurant on Main Street had to empty their freezers. He’d adored her ever since.
“Hi yourself,” she answered, waving back. The sun winked in and out of clouds, and she felt it press down on the back of her neck. Warm. Comforting. Like a hand urging her home.
She practically skipped the last block, rehearsing her speech to Marty in between thinking of the first thing she wanted to tell Eddie. Not to mention the first thing she wanted to do to him. With him. Her face burned a little, but she didn’t care. When you figured out what it was you wanted, you’d do whatever it took to get it back. Even if that meant staring down the vixen from your lover’s past.
Ash cracked her knuckles as anxiety welled up inside her. Due at work in less than an hour, she didn’t have a lot of time. Her fingers dug inside her pocket as she rounded the corner, and because her house keys got stuck in a loose thread, she was looking down as she made her way to the porch steps.
So he saw her first. He spoke first. And when she raised her head to see who waited for her with a smile in his voice, all breath left her body. Tall and impossibly good-looking, the kind of good-looking that belonged on a magazine cover, Colin Parker stood on the porch of number two Lycian Street. He winked. Cocked his head to one side, the way she remembered too well. Grinned that camera-ready smile that flipped her stomach over and loped down the steps to meet her. All Ash could do was stand there and stare as his rolling bass voice carried her back through time.
“Hi, babe. God, it’s good to see you again.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Garbled country music jarred Eddie awake. “Shit.” He reached a hand in the direction of the motel nightstand and jabbed his thumb at the alarm clock. There. Silence. Falling back against the flat pillow, he flung an arm over his face. Jesus, but he had a headache to beat all headaches. And he guessed he’d forgotten to close the curtains last night, because now a strip of sunlight streamed across the bed, eye-level.
“Eddie?”
He squirmed. For a few minutes, he’d forgotten he wasn’t alone in the bed.
Cass poked a finger at his bare shoulder. “You feeling okay?”
He didn’t answer. What the hell did she think? The last twenty-four hours had tossed him into the center of a tornado. If he looked in the mirror, he wasn’t even sure whose face he’d see, or if he’d recognize it. Couple that with the fact that last night’s binge had left him with someone playing drums inside his skull and someone else painting the roof of his mouth with acid, and no, he wasn’t feeling okay. Or anything close to it.
She trailed her fingertips along his spine. “Want some water?”
He shook his head, still staring at the backs of his eyelids.
Did I sleep with her? He didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to know. The bed dipped, squeaking a little as she got up.
“I’m going for some coffee,” she said. “I’ll bring you back some.”
Eddie heard the soft slipping of fabric over skin as she dressed. Grunting, he waited until the door closed before he turned over and opened his eyes. He took his time surveying the room, looking for signs of a knockdown, drag-out, all-clothes-off-in-sixty-seconds adventure the minute they’d stepped inside the room last night.
It’s happened before. I’d be a fool to think it couldn’t have happened again.
But he didn’t see much out of place. No chairs tipped onto the carpet. No ice spilled the length of the dresser. Even the bedspread covering his lower half, in some God-awful plum pattern, appeared smooth and tucked in. Only his shorts and shirt lay tossed on the floor, alongside the two motorcycle helmets.
Eddie slid from the bed and lurched into the bathroom. He dropped the toilet lid and slipped to an awkward seat. Leaning forward, he rested his head in both hands and stared at his lap. At least he still wore his boxers. That was a good sign. He couldn’t remember actually doing anything with Cass by the time they’d collapsed inside this wreck of a room, but then again, he couldn’t remember walking the two blocks from the bar to the motel, either, or checking in at the front desk.
“Idiot,” he said to his feet. He turned on the cold water. The fact that Ashton Kirk had just twisted him inside out didn’t give him any excuse to ride around New Hampshire, screwing the first willing woman who came along. Pull yourself together, West. Other women have treated you worse than Ash did. Didn’t mean he had to crawl into a hole and wait for next year. Jesus, she’s just a woman. Thousands more in the damn sea, remember?
He stood, grabbed a towel, and wet it until it dripped. Then he slapped it across his cheeks and draped it around the back of his neck. He spat into the toilet and flushed. The way he figured it, he had two choices. One, he could head back to Paradise, ignore her for the rest of the summer, and by the time autumn rolled around, be back to his usual self. Or two, he could go back to Lycian Street, march upstairs, and tell her exactly what he thought of the lies she’d told.
Eddie ground his teeth together. He didn’t really like either option, because both required him to turn his back on the first woman who’d made him feel alive in years. Still, what choice did he have? He jammed the heel of one hand against his forehead and tried to ignore the heave working its way up his throat. Gonna be sick, he thought, a second before last night’s burgers and tequila caught up with him. Bending over the toilet just in time, he hugged the cold porcelain with both arms as he sank to his knees and lost everything inside him.
* * *
“Eddie?” It was Cass’s voice. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Only a few minutes, probably. Struggling to a stand, he flushed the toilet and rubbed a hand over his face.
“Yeah.” He pushed his way back into the dingy bedroom. Cass waited by the bed, sipping a steaming cup of coffee. Another sat on the dresser.
She cocked her head, hair streaming over one shoulder. “Gonna be all right?”
He shrugged, reached for his clothes and pulled them on. “Thanks for the joe.” He took a long gulp, letting it burn his lips. Black. Good.
“You're welcome.” She ran a finger down the side of his face. “You look like hell.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
She smiled and sank to a seat in one of the chairs near the window. “Okay.” She paused. “We didn’t sleep together last night.”
Eddie jerked a little at her words. “You’re…well, I…”
She laughed outright then. “O
h, please. I know you’ve been wondering since the minute you woke up. I know you, Eddie. I know that guilty look that makes your eyes all squinty.”
He felt himself redden and stared down at the coffee, as if it might hold the answers within its darkness. “Listen, I’m sorry,” he said after a minute. “I didn’t mean to drag you all the way over here just to listen to my problems.”
She flipped a hand into the air. “I didn’t do much listening. After you fell asleep halfway in the door, it was all I could do to get you undressed…” Her eyelashes fluttered toward her lap, coquettish. “Thought I might get a little action after all.”
A smile tugged at his face.
Cass shrugged. “But you kept talking about Ashton this, and Ashton that.” She looked back up at him. “I thought her name was Ashley.”
So did I.
Eddie found his wallet, tossed in the open drawer of the nightstand, and stuffed it into his back pocket. “I gotta get back home. Things to take care of. You ready?”
She shook her head. “I have a couple friends in town. Called ‘em this morning.” She spun the watch on her thin wrist. “We’re meeting over at the diner in twenty minutes. I figured you could use some time to yourself.”
He nodded, relieved. The ride back to Paradise, the sorting out he needed to do, was better suited for solitude. He bent down and planted a kiss on his ex-girlfriend’s cheek. “You’re okay,” he mumbled. “Thanks.”
Cass leaned back in the chair, letting her glance slide down his torso. “No problem. Make sure she knows what she’s missing.”
Eddie smiled for real this time and dropped a hand onto her shoulder. Then he picked up the motorcycle helmets and headed out into the sun.
* * *
He took the long way back to Paradise. Avoiding the main road, he chose the back ones instead, the narrow ones that wound their way through woods and past lakes and by the occasional house or gas station. He drove slowly at first, savoring the feel of the handlebars and the hum of the engine beneath him. He waved to a little girl playing in her front yard and a pair of joggers. He watched fields and trees change places every mile or so.
But try as he might, Eddie couldn’t get her out of his head. Ash. Ashton Kirk. Okay, the damn senator’s daughter. That’s who she was, then. His grip tightened. And wrong or right, somewhere in between all the stories they’d told each other that summer, he’d fallen in love with her. He ground to a halt as a stop sign caught him by surprise.
In love with her? Are you out of your mind? He shook his head at the inner voice that argued back. Bottom line, that’s what it came down to. Sure, Ash had lied to him, and that broke something inside him. It made him ache, the idea that he’d bared his soul while she’d kept hers banded tightly up. It made him wonder how she really felt about him, and what else she might be hiding.
What it didn’t do, though, was change the way Eddie felt when he was with her. It didn’t change the fact that in meeting Ash, in living with her, in spending all those minutes together that added up to something more, he’d come alive for the first time in three years.
She'd taken away his guard. She'd made him laugh. She'd pissed him off. She'd made him remember what it was like to be a regular guy, someone who wasn’t trying to get into bed with a woman because it was easier than talking to her. God, she reminded me I still had a heart beating under the mess I became after the accident.
Eddie sped up as he reached Paradise’s town limits. The thoughts tumbled faster and faster inside his head. He needed to get back to Lycian Street. He needed to see her. He needed to talk to her.
Whoever she really is.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Don’t touch me.” Before Colin could take her by both arms and pull her in for a kiss, Ash twisted away from him.
He stopped, and his smile froze. “I just—okay. I’m sorry.”
She stuck her hands into her pockets, house keys digging into one palm. First her father. Now her ex-boyfriend. Ash let out a long breath. Her legs grew unsteady, and she refused to look at him again. She couldn’t take any more surprise visitors. She was about torn in half as it was.
“What are you doing here?”
“That’s a nice way to say hello.”
“I told you I wasn’t coming home. And I didn't tell you where I lived. Which means you took it upon yourself to find me when I didn't want to be found.” She looked at the peeling paint beside him, the rusted door hinges, the weeds growing alongside the geraniums in the yard.
He exhaled. “Thought maybe you’d reconsidered.”
“Why would you think that?”
Colin’s chin jerked in the direction of the house. “This is where you decided to spend your summer?”
“What’s wrong with it?”
He swiped a hand over his close cut, dark blonde hair. “Nothing, babe. I just…”
“My father told you where I was. Didn’t he?”
Colin raised both palms to the sky. “Guilty. But only because I called him and told him I needed to see you. Needed to make up for the stupidest thing I’d ever done.”
Suddenly, the fire left Ash’s heart, and she sank into the chair farthest away from him. She didn’t have the energy for this. “Whatever. Stay, leave, I don’t care. I’m not going back to Boston. I already told him that. I don’t care if he sent you to try and convince me.”
“He didn’t.”
She doubted that, but she kept her mouth shut.
Colin sat in the chair across from her and folded his fingers together. “Okay, I get that you were mad. That you needed space.”
“That’s an understatement.” She tried not to look directly at him, because she had a feeling that if she did, he’d burn her to the core. Colin Parker was—always had been—a too-bright sun shining down on Ash. He pulled her close. He drew her into his orbit.
“I wanted to apologize. In person.” Eyes on the ground, he cleared his throat. “I was a total ass. Really. That thing with Callie—”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“It was a complete mistake. I was juvenile. Idiotic.” Another throat-clearing. “And yeah, the thing that happened with your dad, it shook me up some.”
Ash rubbed the back of her neck, trying to loosen the muscles there. “Well, me too.” I wasn’t exactly a saint when it came to defending him. I guess we both ran away from it in our own ways.
Colin reached for her hand, brushed his fingers across the back of it for an instant. “We were good together, right? I want to try again.”
Oh, God. The words she’d wanted to hear three months ago. Even two months ago. Ash’s skin burned from where he’d touched it. “I don’t think—”
“Hear me out. Please.” He inched his chair closer, so that their knees touched. Skin to skin, breath meeting breath. Ash’s heart sped up. “We’re a good match,” he went on. He caught her gaze and held it with those dark eyes. “We’re headed the same way. We want the same things.”
Oh, really?
“We’d be good for each other.” He wound his fingers through hers. “Or you’d be good for me, anyway.” He grinned. “But I’d try, babe. I’d try to be the best goddamned husband you could ever wish for.”
Ash drew her hand away. “What are you talking about?”
Colin rose, towering over her for a moment before he folded himself into a crouch at her feet. The boards creaked beneath him, and for an instant, she thought of the night she and Eddie had stood there, after a dinner shift. After the first time they fought. Before the first time they kissed.
“Thanks for walking me home.”
“No problem.”
“See you tomorrow, I guess.”
“See ya.”
Colin spoke again, interrupting the memory.
“Ashton.” He reached into his front pocket and pulled out a small black box.
She drew in her breath and held it. That box didn’t contain what she thought it did. It couldn’t. The wind picked up and crickets
scratched their legs together. The flowers near the sidewalk swayed. Beyond the hills, thunder rumbled.
“It’s going to rain,” she said. “We should go inside.”
Thunder announced itself again, closer this time. As if it hovered in the hills behind the college, or came up from the ground beneath her. Or turned the corner on two wheels.
In slow motion Ash looked past him, just as the motorcycle veered onto Lycian Street. Just as its rider slowed to a stop in front of the house. Just as he pulled off his helmet and looked at her and Colin. Oh, Eddie. His eyes, wide at first with something like hope, dimmed as his gaze moved across them. Even from a distance Ash saw his face redden. Something clutched inside her chest.
It’s my heart tearing in two. Stretching in opposite directions. Breaking apart.
Colin took her hand, forcing her attention back to where he still kneeled in front of her. “Ash, I love you.” The last word cracked. “I want to spend my life with you.” He flipped open the box, and an enormous diamond ring flashed up at her. Emerald cut, the way she’d once told him she’d wanted. Close to two carats, if she had to guess. And more diamonds set along the delicate band of platinum. Sunlight caught a rainbow of color as his hand shook a little.
“Marry me, babe. Please. Make me the happiest guy in the world.”
* * *
Eddie pulled up behind a sleek silver BMW. Who the hell did that belong to? For a minute he wondered if Ash’s father had stayed in town. Then his gaze traveled up to the front porch. Eddie straddled the bike and stared. The whole way back to Paradise, he’d thought it over, and here was the thing: he wanted to work things out with Ash. He wanted to see if they could push aside the mess and make a go of it. Just the two of them. He thought maybe they could. He thought maybe they had a chance.
But now…
She wasn't alone. The realization stopped him before he got off the bike. She was with another guy. After twenty-four hours?
The Promise of Paradise Page 15
