by A. K. Koonce
“Once the female accepts and once the ritual is completed, it is.”
“The ritual?”
“I’ll explain it later.”
“What happened between Kain and Brylee.” Her name has a harsher tone to it now that I can’t really explain.
Rime doesn’t meet my gaze as he looks to the ground. For a moment I think he might not tell me. That maybe it isn’t his place to tell me about Kain’s love life.
“She wanted Kain. Then she wanted Chaos.” White streaks of cold frost are in his eyes. “Chaos never clicked. He never formed a bond. I think it messed with Chaos that he was just a backup in a way. The guy she’d fawn over when Kain was busy. In the end, I think it pissed her off that it was just Kain. I think it pissed him off that she wanted so much more, but he doesn’t talk about it. It’s hard knowing you’re not enough.”
My stomach pivots low as I stare up at the absent look in his eyes. My chest presses against his as my hands push through his messy hair. Still he doesn’t look at me.
Do they think that about me? Do they know that they’re completely enough?
I’ve never had several people I care about. I don’t know how any of this works. Honesty. Honesty is important here. I can tell that it’s the backbone of our relationship.
But I should start vocalizing all of this more. I never want them to think I don’t care about them. Because I do. I care so much it scares me.
“She tried a lot of things, tried a lot of men. I think with the women here having a couple of men each she thought she’d be some sort of fucking queen bee of dragon shifters.”
There’s something pressing to each word he says. Like he’s building up to something he doesn’t want to say.
“One night she came up to me, furious and demanding, probably a little drunk. The broken one she called me. She said she’d fuck the broken one too if that’s what it took to get Chaos to find an interest in her.”
A new sort of anger rips through my chest at the sound of her words on his tongue.
“What did you say?”
“I told her if she was looking for more meaningless sex in her life, she could go fuck herself.”
My lips pull with an astounded smile, but the serious look in his eyes takes away all my amusement.
“She mocked Chaos’ sexuality over and over again for days to my face and it fucking enraged me. I never acted on it, but the strain between she and I ruined the bond Kain had started to feel. She threw a tantrum from hell, telling Kain he should banish me from the village. He refused.” There’s a painful sound to his voice now. A guilty sound. “So, she said she’d have her father banish me if Kain didn’t have the balls to address my outbursts.”
My fingers dig into his hair, pulling lightly as my arms tighten around him. There’s an irrational need to protect him, to protect him from something that happened a long, long time ago.
But I can’t.
I can only be here for him now.
“I told Kain I’d just go, I’d go lie low for a while.”
“That’s bullshit, Rime.” The words snap from my mouth without thought.
“That’s what Kain said.”
“What happened?”
His palms push low against my back, aligning our bodies just right. His eyes warm as he meets my gaze.
“He broke the mating bond without telling her. All three of us left. We traveled around a little bit. Got into trouble. And then we met this sexy fucking babbling mage.” The way my heart falters is like my emotions telling me they’re going down hard. And there’s nothing I can do about it. “She was smart when she wasn’t trying to talk her way out of things. Pretty when she showed her vulnerability. So strong when she let her emotions out.”
His lips part like he wants to tell me more but instead of speaking, he seals his lips against mine. My palms shove his shoulders and he stumbles back but never breaks our kiss. I guide him until his boots falter against the three steps that lead down. A smile parts his lips as he tries to keep kissing while he stumbles down the cellar steps.
“You really want to fuck in a cellar?” His voice is a whisper like Kain’s mother might hear us if he says the f word too loudly.
I press my fingers into his shoulder until he sits down on the bottom step, and he pulls closed the thin wooden door above him. Only dim lantern light highlights his perfect features. I stand in front of him in the small room next to a pile of lumber.
I can’t help but wonder when Kain might return down here.
“I wasn’t planning on fucking you.”
“Well this feels slightly creepy then, My Tamer.” He leans back against the steps, watching my every move with close attention.
I pull my dress up and lower myself between his legs, letting the old wooden board meet my bare knees instead of the pale material of my skirt. My palms push against his strong thighs and silence presses against my chest until all I can hear is the demanding sound of my heart.
“Unzip your pants.” At the sound of my command, heat flares in his cold eyes.
Steady fingers take their time undoing his jeans. My core aches when his clothes lower to reveal every inch of his hard cock. Along the low collar of my shirt, I brush my breasts against his erection as I lean forward, letting the smooth skin of the tip of his dick skim against my chest, abdomen, and hips before my lips press against his. A heavy breath leaves him before he kisses me harder. My teeth lightly nip at his lip and then I pull back abruptly.
His eyes dilate in the golden lighting as he looks up at me with confusion in his gaze.
“Not yet, Rime.” My taunting tone repeats what he’s said to me countless times now. I lift my body until only my skirt skims against his length. His watchful eyes hold on me. His palms raise slightly but then he fists them hard against his thighs, forcing himself not to touch me.
The way his throat works to swallow hard pulls my attention, and I lean forward just enough to kiss him there on his neck, slowly at first. It’s just a gentle press of my lips. And then my teeth. And then my tongue.
A groan shakes through him as his head tilts for me. My fingers push up his soft shirt and sneak underneath and they arch lightly against his pecs, letting my sharp nails rake down, down, down his hard body. Another growling sound hums through his chest as I lower my head to kiss the faint red lines scratching down his stomach.
His knuckles tighten on his thighs when I’m poised just above him, and white frost lines his fists. I can’t help but take my time. I’ve never felt more powerful, more in control, more undeniably sexy than I do right now.
Soft skin meets my lips. His thickness parts my mouth and the salty taste of him swirls against my tongue as I tease him slowly.
“Fuck, Arlow.” I hum at the sound of my name rasping against his voice and it only makes him groan more from the feel of my approval.
I slide down his length as far as I can go until he hits that back of my throat. When I come back up, I flick my tongue against his tip once more and it seems to be his breaking.
Long fingers are cold against my scalp as he fists my hair tightly. I stroke my mouth over and over and over again until he throbs against my tongue.
And just before I think he’ll come, he tugs my hair hard, dragging me away from him. He’s panting with ragged breaths when he meets my gaze.
My lips part to ask him why he stopped me when he cuts me off.
“Come here, My Tamer.” He bites out the harsh demand. His palm slips down my arm before pulling at my hand.
Energy tightens low in my stomach, my breath catching in my lungs.
I love the demanding sound of his voice.
“Please come here.”
Fuck I love the desperate sound of his voice even more.
Higher I lift my skirt. I push down my underwear before standing. My thighs shift over his until I’m straddling him in the small space of the cellar. His fingertips are cold when they dig into the curve of my ass. He lifts me slowly, and his lashes lower slightly a
s he focuses on the way my lips part when his cock brushes against my slickness.
Slowly I sink down. His length strains against me inch by inch. Our hips meet just right, making my lashes flutter until I can barely keep them open. Tighter his fingers dig into my skin, holding me hard against his shaft as he grinds against my pussy.
And still we watch one another, gasping and groaning the whole time. He holds me so tightly against him that every hard thrust of his hips has nowhere to go but against my clit.
A sensual and consuming feeling blooms through me as I try to hold his gaze, my orgasm tightening within me, ready to release.
“Rime.” My brows tense as I speak his name with unspoken words lingering between us.
His lips brush mine. “Shh.” He shakes his head just slightly, kissing me slowly.
My nails dig into his shoulders as he fucks me harder.
“Rime, I…” Energy climbs through me like I’ve never felt.
“Don’t say it, Arlow.” His eyes look right into me. Into every part of me.
My mouth parts and hovers over his as he slams into me harder and harder and harder.
Until I come against his cock, shaking in his strong arms, nails digging into him, pussy clenching against him, clinging to him like I’ve never done to anyone in my entire life.
Slower his hips rock against me as his orgasm chases after mine.
My temple rests against his as I try to think clearly for the first time in several moments. I can’t believe what I almost said to him just because he’s good at fucking.
“I love you too, Tamer.” He kisses me, silencing my words as emotion washes over me. He kisses me deeply, his tongue making sure I’m not able to reply for a long, long time.
Because it wasn’t just fucking. And we both know it.
I love him.
And someday I won’t be afraid to say it.
Five
A Simple Gift
“Arlow, you look beautiful this morning. Flushed and angelically pretty. Did you go for a run?” Helen’s big smile rounds her face even more as she beams at me.
Her son, Chaos, snorts with laughter looking from my messy hair to Rim’s relaxed posture. Rime appears just fucked. He seems like he’s a moment away from just rolling over on the couch he’s sitting on and falling blissfully asleep.
All that tension that usually lines his shoulders is gone.
And Chaos notices.
“Arlow is quiet the runner, Mom. You’d be really impressed by the things she can do. Really pounds it out. On the pavement. Pounds out the pavement.” Chaos’ brows rise and the mocking look he gives me makes me want to punch him in his dick.
“Aww you’re so fit, I just knew you were a runner.” Another sweet smile.
Not likely, Helen. Not likely.
My arms fold and I give an awkward smile. I have to force myself not to smooth down my hair or fidget with the hem of my shirt as I stand in front of her. The cluttered living room feels smaller with her obliviously happy attention beaming at me.
“I got you something today while I was at the swap market.” The ends of Helen’s long tan dress drag the carpet. She’s short in stature. Most of her boys tower over her just like their father. But they all have her smile. That genuine happiness that shines right out of them.
It’s infectious. I couldn’t dislike this sweet woman if I tried.
When she returns from the back room, a brown bag is in her hands. Chaos and Rime peer over the back of the couch at us when she hands the sack to me. Her house is larger than Myla’s but a bit more hectic. Where Myla doesn’t have a speck of dust out of place, Helen’s looks very much like it houses a dozen large shifter males. Stacks of books line the table, enormous shoes crowd the dark entrance hall, in the adjoining room a basket of laundry overflows on her kitchen table and honestly, it just feels … nice. Everything about Helen and her family feels nice.
The gift inside the bag doesn’t have hard edges. The shape isn’t a solid structure, and I can’t even imagine what it might be. I blink at it for a moment. My fingers trail over the smooth bag and all I can do is hold it in my hands.
No one’s given me a gift in years.
The last gift I ever received was on my eighteenth birthday. It was a Beast Tamer’s Guide to Curious Creatures. My father gave it to me. He said he knew it was my future.
My chest aches as I realize how right he was.
“Thank you, Helen.”
That smile pulls hard against her red lips. Inky hair makes the color alluringly brighter against her mouth. Streaks of gray shine along the black in the dim lighting of the living room.
“Sinister told me the nineteenth is your birthday, and I just couldn’t wait.” Her hand squeezes mine just lightly.
“Your birthday’s next week?” Chaos stands and makes his way toward us.
“Yeah.” My voice is small but it doesn’t stop the heavy attention of the room.
“The nineteenth is the night of the Autumn Fire Festival.” There’s this look in his eyes like his mind is racing a mile a minute but his words are cautious. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
My shoulders are small as I raise them.
“It doesn’t matter if she told you. You know now.” Helen bumps her son’s hip with hers. “Now shut up so she can open my gift.”
Chaos and I pass a smile between us before my fingers open the bag. Leather meets my fingertips. The two items are pulled out for the room to see.
Black leather covers the shoes. Perfect sapphire jewels rest at the tops of them. They’re small. No heel. They’re more of a princess style shoe.
Not a mage shoe at all.
Because mages don’t wear shoes.
“You got me shoes.” My lips part with a smile.
“They’re flats. Very comfortable. Very stylish.”
And they look expensive. She bought me nice shoes. That’s so sweet.
“They’re pretty.” My index finger runs over the shining jewel of one of the shoes. I wore shoes one time. Just once.
They were awful. Tight. Constricting. They were feet prisons basically.
“I just noticed you didn’t have any.” Her head tilts as she tries to look past my hair to see my full expression.
“They really are fantastic. I usually don’t wear shoes. The energy in nature gives me strength. My magic is more pure when I’m more connected.”
Her big blue eyes light up. They always light up when I talk about magic. Just like the girl I met today, the people here love to hear about my magic.
“That’s wonderful. You’re like an angel, Arlow.”
Not likely, Helen.
“No, I just have a gift. Just like your son.” My fingers slip into Chaos’ big hand and his attention drifts down to the way my hand looks in his. He looks so lost in thought today.
My fingers squeeze against his and his gaze lifts to mine. It takes him a moment to smile at me.
What is he thinking?
“Can I try them on?” I pull my attention back to Helen and ask what I know will make her happy. I try really hard. I try really hard to make me the person Helen is working me up to be in her head.
She thinks an angel is falling in love with her son. I’m not an angel, but I want to be better. I want to be everything Helen believes me to be.
“Yes, come on. Let’s see if they fit.”
I trail over to sit next to Rime near the little fire place. His palm pushes down my back as I lean forward to try the flats on. They’re soft inside, lined with some sort of fabric that feels nice against my skin. A half an inch of space makes the shoes loose against my foot.
“Small feet, just like I thought. Small feet but top heavy, just like me.” Helen beams another smile that makes me smirk and makes her son look like he wants to throw up.
“Mom,” Chaos whispers, but his little complaint is ignored by everyone.
“They’re so pretty.” My toes sink into the soft fabric once more as I shift my feet this way and that.
Helen sits on the table in front of me, coming eye level, studying me intently. “I’m so happy they found you.” Once more her hand squeezes mine. “Myla and I thought we’d never see them again. I thought this…” The way her voice cracks has me leaning closer to her, pushing my palm against her knuckles as she speaks. “I thought this community had run them off for good. And then they found you.”
The sweeping of Rime’s palm comes to a halt against my spine, feeling heavy and comforting against my skin. Chaos sits on the arm of the couch and pushes his big hand over my thigh. For a moment I just stare up at the sweet woman who raised her son so right. She raised him so fucking right that he walked through all my broken pieces just to find the jagged part of me that was left.
None of us would be here right now if Chaos wasn’t completely Chaos.
And I don’t know how to tell her that.
“Chaos found me actually.” My lashes lower and I can’t look at her. “I don’t really know what he saw in me, but he found me when I was so lost. He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met. I just want you to know that.” I want him to know that. Once more I think about the awful relationship Rime told me about that Chaos had with Brylee, and a mixture of anger and sadness makes me want to repeat myself for everyone to hear.
He’s loved.
My chest aches and I can’t find another word to say to her.
“You’re so precious, Arlow. Everyone in this community has felt lost a moment or two in their life. Empty, uncertain of what the point of it all is.” I suddenly wonder if the human woman is talking about the shifters of this community at all. Or if she’s talking about herself.
Can thoughts so dark really exist in such a happy woman? She’s a mother of such sweet and assured men. Do mothers really feel lost? They’re always so caring and know all the right things to do and say. I can’t imagine it, but Helen makes me wonder if it’s true.
When I look up at her, her pretty eyes are wet. That smile is still there though.
“Ugh.” She sighs out a shaking breath as she pushes the tears from her eyes. “Can’t start crying now. Especially today. I hear you’re helping Myla make a big feast for us all tonight.”
