by S. E. Rose
“No, I’m good thanks,” I say, trying to muster a smile.
He bends down and kisses my forehead and then with a wave he leaves.
I head back to my bed and my dozing and am awakened by a bit of a commotion. I hear someone talking and a hiss and I’m awake suddenly sitting up and trying to take in my surroundings. I see Hagrid on the floor hissing at Jack who looks like he might toss Hagrid through a wall.
“Sorry,” he mumbles. “Damn cat was trying to jump up on you.”
I give him a look and then look down at Hagrid and pat the bed. Hagrid jumps up into my arms and gives Jack a contented look of “I told you so” before snuggling against me purring.
“You are a brat,” I say, kissing his head and stroking his soft fur. I lie back in the bed and look up at Jack who’s running his hands through his hair. He looks scruffy, he needs to shave and he’s still in his clothes from this morning.
“You look a sight,” I say to him, nodding at his attire.
“I’ve no time to change yet. I had to address some things,” he mumbles, sinking into the chair next to my bed.
We stare at each other in silence for a few moments. I know we need to talk, but part of me cringes at the thought. Am I ready for this conversation?
Chapter 17
Laura’s Playlist: “England” by The National
I take a deep breath and stroke Hagrid. He looks up at me with pure love in his eyes and it gives me the strength to speak. “Where have you been?”
“London,” he replies, looking down at the floor.
“Why?” I ask.
“I had some things to do,” he says.
“Such as…”
“Such as business stuff, OK?” he answers grunting.
“Jack…,” I start to berate him and then stop myself. I’m the one who left. “I’m sorry. I—”
“I just don’t understand,” he interrupts me, looking up finally. He looks miserable. “I don’t understand how you could just leave like that. You were completely irrational and—”
“I know. But you don’t understand,” I say quietly, knowing the inevitable is about to happen.
“What don’t I understand?” he asks, looking at me intently and speaking very slowly.
I breathe again. “Sean died in a car accident because of me and I wasn’t even there to say goodbye to him.” I shake my head warding off the tears I feel coming.
“I don’t understand,” he replies. He looks confused and hurt and concerned all at the same time.
I take a deep breath. “Sean and I, we were going to a party for his work. We were late and that was my fault and we were having a disagreement about it. It was raining and he was paying much more attention to me than the road and then the truck came out of nowhere. I don’t even remember it. I just remember a panicked look on his face and he turned to me and…I don’t remember anything after that. I woke up in the hospital a few days later. I’d missed the funeral, everything. They’d declared him brain dead and took him off life support, donated organs, everything, and I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there to comfort my kids. I wasn’t there at all. I was just sleeping, blissfully unaware.” The tears start to pour down my cheeks and I sniffle in a very un-ladylike way, but I don’t care.
“Oh Jesus, Laura…I didn’t know…I’m so sorry,” he says and he takes my hand. “I’m so sorry, baby.” And before I know it he’s on the bed and I’m in his lap. With my head resting on his chest, he holds me while I cry. It feels good to finally speak about Sean with him, but at the same time, the pain is still so raw, as though it just happened yesterday. I relish in the fact that he is comforting me. I was so worried about Lily and Nick that I never took time to allow myself to grieve and to really feel the pain. Suddenly, the dams have burst and I let it go. I let all of my feelings and guilt from the last eight years go as Jack holds me.
“That’s why they kept me at the hospital last night,” I say softly between sobs as I finally try to regain my composure. “I have a plate in my skull and they wanted the neurologist to look at me.” He looks at me as though he can’t comprehend this. I take his hand in mine and run it across the scar above my right ear. After I take my hand down, his remains and he slowly moves his finger back and forth over the scar.
“You’ve had a lot of loss, my love,” he murmurs into my hair. “I shouldn’t have left, but I didn’t think you were coming back. I just couldn’t be here.”
I tighten my hold on him and snuggle harder against his warmth. “I couldn’t stay away from you. And then when I came back you were gone and I just thought maybe you didn’t care. I felt so awful about how I left things. I tried to push you out of my head, but—”
“Same,” he says, cutting me off. “So what are we going to do about this problem?”
I sit up and look at him, my tears subsiding. “What problem is that?”
“Well, I’m clearly falling for you, and I’m pretty sure you might be falling for me.” He looks into my eyes and brushes tears away from my cheeks. “It’s still there between us, isn’t it?” His eyes sparkle as I look at him.
I groan, rolling off of him and throwing my head onto a pillow. I wince and then groan again. I’m feeling particularly juvenile. “Damn it, why does this have to be happening right now? Why couldn’t I have met you after I finished this book or after the kids graduate college?”
He laughs. “Life plans, huh?”
“So, I’m a bit of a control freak, shoot me.”
“Well, I can think of many things I want to do to you, but shooting you isn’t one of them.” He gives me a mischievous grin, but I also see a momentary look of panic. I know he’s thinking of my dad and wondering if he just overstepped a boundary with his comment. I sigh and look up into his eyes.
I ignore his comment and decide to go straight to the heart of the matter. “Are you going to tell me what you’ve been doing in London for two weeks?”
It’s his turn to sigh with complete exasperation. “Like I said, I was upset about you leaving and there was some business I wanted to attend to in London so I just decided to go, OK?”
“What type of business?” I’m not letting this go.
“The type that makes money,” he says with a know-it-all smirk.
“You’re hilarious.” I roll my eyes. “Why is Oliver worried about you?”
“What do you mean?” He gives me a look that clearly says I’m about to go into an area of his life that is better left alone.
Oh shit, I need to tread lightly on this one. “I’ve seen him a few times since I’ve been back and when I asked about you, well, he looks worried.”
“You’ve seen Oliver a few times?”
“Yes,” I say, trying to seem nonchalant about it. “So why is he worried?”
“Because I was upset when you left.”
“Oh.” I know he’s not telling me the whole truth. There’s something in his past and he doesn’t want to talk about it. I sigh again knowing that I’m not going to get any more answers out of him today. So I let it go and snuggle back against him. My head is in his lap and he strokes my hair softly. I let my eyes close, and before I know it, I’m asleep.
“Wake up, sleepy head,” he whispers into my ear. My eyes dart open. I’m curled in a ball, my head is resting on Jack’s chest, my arm sprawled across his abdomen and my one leg is pulled up and over his thigh.
“What time is it?”
“Early, time for my run,” he answers, squeezing me and then he pulls my chin up so I’m looking at him. “But I’ll stay here if you want me to. How are you feeling?” I look around realizing that I’ve slept straight through the night.
I still for a moment and evaluate myself. My ankle throbs as does my head. “Same,” I say with a shrug.
“You want me to make you breakfast?” he asks. “I think you need to eat before I can give you more pain meds.”
I shake my head and start to move, but realize I can’t bend my legs because Hagrid is curled behind my knee in a
ball. He looks up yawning and stretches a lazy paw over my thigh before closing his eyes again. I smile at him and stroke his soft head.
“I about kicked him off again, I thought he’d wake you for sure with all that kneading on your leg.”
I chuckle. “I’m used to it.” He slowly moves me and gets up stretching as he does.
“You alright for a bit?”
“Yes, I’ll survive. I can always send Hagrid to the kitchen if I need something.”
“Very funny, smart arse,” he says, slapping me lightly on my butt.
“Can you hand me my laptop?”
“No,” he says, walking toward the door.
“Jack, if you don’t hand it to me, then I’ll just get up and get it. I need to phone my kids and email my editor and agent. They are going to wonder why I haven’t contacted any of them.”
“OK, but only those four and then you’re done. No writing today,” he insists, handing it to me with way too much trepidation.
“Yeah, yeah,” I say. “My brain isn’t exactly in the writing mode at the moment, so you don’t have to get your knickers in a bunch about that.” I realize I’m making a pouty face, but only after I see him trying to suppress a smile. “Begone, servant boy.” And I wave him out of the room.
My kids handle the news of my fall pretty well. Lily laughs that the two us need to stay put and not go out anymore and Nick just shakes his head and asks if there’s anything he can do for me. My agent asks a million questions and is all concerned and my editor just wants to know when the final draft will be done. I mull over that question for a bit. I had been pretty close before the accident. I relay that I’m a few chapters away from finishing the first draft. That seems to appease her and she asks when I think I’ll feel up to finishing. I let her know that by next week, I should be back to normal and then I just need a good day or two of writing to wrap it up before I can send her a draft to review. She seems good with this and we make plans to talk in another week. I shoot quick emails to my brother, Jesse, and my mom. Lord forbid they hear about my accident from the kids.
It’s fast approaching six weeks since I first came here. The time is flying by and I know I need to buckle down and push all this drama aside for a few days. I groan internally as I think about the few weeks of editing that will follow. I peruse my social media and respond to some friends. I accept a friend request from Mal, half-laughing as I accept it since her photo is of cheese. She immediately sends me a message, asking how I feel and I respond before signing off and checking my email one last time.
I shut the laptop and toss it to the side. Hagrid has readjusted himself and is sprawled out on his back between my legs, all four of his paws straight up in the air.
I no sooner push the laptop aside when Jack is standing in my doorway. “Good run?” I ask, looking at the sheen of sweat on his brow and chest.
“Yes, breakfast?” he asks. I nod. I should take the painkillers.
“Can you grab me the ice packs too?” I yell after him.
He’s back in about thirty seconds flat with two ice packs and an orange juice, pain meds, and a croissant with jam. I look at him puzzled.
He shrugs innocently. “I may have popped into town and picked up some provisions before coming over yesterday.”
He’s taking a bite of a croissant as well and he sits down on the side of the bed. He runs a thumb over my cheek. “How’s my patient? Did you get ahold of everyone you needed to talk to?”
“Yep.”
“And you told them you aren’t working for at least another week.”
“Yep.”
“Seriously, you really told them that?”
“Yes, Jack. I really told them that. I don’t want to write a shit book you know. I do actually care about my writing, so I’m not going to finish until my head is better. OK?” I look at him with complete exasperation.
“Right.”
I just shake my head at him. “I need a shower,” I say, licking a crumb from my lips. I’m desperately trying to remember my last shower, yesterday morning or no, the night before. I’m concentrating so hard that with my head still mildly throbbing I don’t even realize that Jack isn’t sitting next to me any longer. I can hear the shower running and the next thing I know he’s naked and leaning over my boot removing it from my foot. He takes it off gently and sets my foot back down before removing the ice pack from my head and picking me up in one swift motion. I’m carried into the bathroom where he sets me down on a chair.
“Lift,” he commands, taking the hem of my shirt and pulling it over my head as I lift my arms up in the air. He stops and admires the bra. I’d almost forgotten about all of my new lingerie. He smiles appreciatively.
“Now this…this is very sexy,” he murmurs. He then unclasps the bra and lets it fall to the floor. I push my hands against the seat of the chair so that my butt rises as he pulls my thong and yoga pants off before removing my socks. Yes, I’m wearing the thong and no, it’s not as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. Then he carries me into the shower, holding me for a moment.
“You can put me down,” I say, gripping his arms as he lowers my legs. I stand on one leg with the bad one bent back so as not to touch anything.
“I think we should have gone with a bath, my dear,” he says, holding me up so I don’t fall over. No sooner have I nodded when he’s turning off the shower and starting a bath in the tub as he sets me down in the water. He adds some salts and bubble bath and sits down beside me. I prop my bad leg up on the side of the tub.
“God, Laura!” he gasps when he sees the swelling and beautiful rainbow of colors surrounding my ankle. “You really know how to injure yourself.”
“Uhhh…thanks??” I reply meekly as I lean back against him. He pours water over my hair gently and begins shampooing me while trying to stay away from the giant egg on my forehead. He fails miserably at least three times and I wince each time and he apologizes each time, kissing my shoulder. He then rinses my hair and repeats the whole process with my conditioner. Then he lathers body soap in his hands and begins cleaning me. When he’s satisfied with his work he rinses me off and I lie back against him.
“I need to shave my legs and wash my face,” I say to him. He reaches for my razor. “Oh no, you don’t!” I say. “I can do it.” And I grab it from him. I smooth some shaving gel on my bad leg first and shave it while trying to stay away from the very angry part of my leg. I repeat the process a little faster with my other leg and manage to quickly swipe my underarms before rinsing off the razor and working to gently cleanse my face. I splash some water up and then I lean back onto his chest.
“No bath for me?” he asks after a few silent minutes. I do my best to swivel around meeting his green eyes with a raised eyebrow.
“Geez, you’re a demanding nurse,” I say, squirting body soap in my hands. I lather him up and make quick work of cleaning him and rinsing him. I save his semi-hard erection for last. I find myself biting my lip as I spread soap over him and gently stroke him as I clean around every inch of his most private area. When I’m done, I turn back around pressing my back against his chest and he folds his arms around me.
“Water’s getting cold, I should get you back to bed,” he says after a while. I feel him get up and he grabs a towel, wrapping it around his waist before helping me out and into another towel he has grabbed off the rack. He tenderly dries me off and then carries me back to the bed where he throws about three blankets over me.
“No pajamas?” I ask, cocking my head to the side assessing.
“No pajamas,” he says. “We’ve had three thousand miles between us. I don’t want anything between us today.”
“You’re not going to work?” I ask, looking up at him as he crawls into the bed next to me.
“No. I have a patient to tend to and I’m not going anywhere.” He pulls me into his arms, kissing the top of my wet hair and he breathes me in before pulling my chin up to gaze into my eyes. “You have the most beautiful eyes,” he says as
he kisses my nose and then each of my cheeks and finally my lips.
I smile against his lips and then pull back and yawn. I’m suddenly tired again.
“I think I tuckered you out with that bath,” he says. “Go back to sleep.”
I nod, and before I can finish my thought, I’m asleep.
Chapter 18
Laura’s Playlist: “World on Fire” by Sarah McLachlan
I wake in bed by myself. The covers are pulled up. I’m warm and cozy and I don’t want to move, but I want to know where Jack went to since he’s clearly not lying beneath me anymore.
“Jack?” I yell. And then through the window, I see him outside, pacing and talking on his phone. He looks in through the window and he abruptly ends his phone call.
“You alright?” he says, dashing into the room. “I didn’t wake you did I?”
“No, no. I’m fine. I just didn’t know where you went to.”
“I’m right here, my love,” he says, smoothing my hair. “I told you, I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know,” I say.
“How are you feeling?”
I take a minute to assess. My head feels a little better, just slightly, but I’m still foggy and it is still tender to the touch. My ankle is, well, I’m not going to be going for any super long walks this week, but the swelling has gone down a little bit since yesterday.
“Better,” I say hesitantly.
“Excellent,” he says. “Hungry?” I shake my head.
He crawls into bed with me. “What shall we do today?”
I shrug. “Nothing that requires brain power, my head is still foggy.”
“Foggy, huh?” he repeats, stroking my arm with his thumb absentmindedly. “How about a movie?”
Movie…TV…there’s not one in here. There is one in the living room. Do we have cable here? Thoughts start exploding from various parts of my mind and I’m trying to grasp onto them as they seemingly fly out of nowhere.
I sit up looking at Jack who is frowning. “Is it a hard question to answer?” he asks as he inspects my face.
