by April Fire
“Hey,” she smiled up at me as I sat down, and then apparently took in my expression and frowned. “You okay?”
“Just family stuff,” I shrugged. “You know.”
“Uh, yeah,” she replied, not taking her eyes off of me. “What are your family like?”
I glanced around for her voice recorder, and couldn’t see it. That was a relief- I wanted to be able to talk without worrying that every word out of her mouth had a double-meaning attached to it.
“Ugh,” I grunted. “Irritating. You know? They spent so long criticising me for wanting to play sports for a living and then as soon as I started getting noticed suddenly they can’t wait to show me off.”
“Do they know about the offer?” She cocked her head to the side, and I could see her analysing me. I felt a little shiver of annoyance-it felt like everyone I spoke to these days had an ulterior motive to conversation with me, had something they wanted, and it was starting to get on my nerves.
“No,” I shook my head. “Just you and Johnson.”
“What do you think they’d tell you to do if they did?” She prompted me.
“I think they’d push me to take it,” I shrugged, wrapping my hands around my drink to warm them against the cold of the evening outside. “Which is why I don’t want to talk to them about it.”
“So you’re leaning towards not going?” She asked gently, and my head snapped up. It felt as though my hackles had raised all of a sudden, and I didn’t like it- I wasn’t used to feeling out of control, but I could feel the mist of discontentment descending as I looked at her.
“I’m not leaning towards anything,” I shot back. “Except making my own fucking decision for once in a while.”
She held her hands back and leaned back, as though putting space between us was the only way she could feel safe. I felt instantly embarrassed by my sharpness; she didn’t deserve this. We barely knew each other, and she was just here to try and get her story.
“Sorry,” She replied, her tone defensive. We stared at each other across the table, and a moment of loaded silence lurked between us for a second.
“I just…I don’t want people telling me what to do, or thinking less of me for the decisions I make,” I tried to keep my voice steady but I knew that the words were tumbling out of me without restraint.
“I wasn’t trying to push you either way,” She lowered her voice, glancing around as a few people glanced over in our direction to see what the commotion was about. “I was just asking, for the article.”
“Oh, so this is all going in?” I threw my hands in the air. “I knew I shouldn’t have come here to talk to you about this.”
“It won’t go in if you don’t want it to,” she promised. “This could just be some background research, it’s cool.”
She paused for a moment, staring at me, examining me closely as though she was looking for something else, something new.
“What is it?” I demanded. Her eyes seemed to be penetrating me, deeper than I felt comfortable with.
“You came out here to talk to me about this?” She wondered aloud. I shrugged, then nodded.
“I guess,” I mumbled. I hadn’t really thought about it, but I supposed she was right; I had needed to come out and blow off some steam after the bullshit of spending an evening with my family. It wasn’t like I could call up one of my teammates or whatever; they’d be out drinking and partying, and the last thing they wanted was me dropping a massive downer over their good time.
“Is there…no-one else you can talk to about this?” She asked gently, cocking her head at me.
I frowned at once; she was onto me, and I hated that. I needed something to throw her off the scent, needed some way to distract her…and then I found my eyes drifting down to her mouth. God, it had felt good on me the night before. She flushed slightly, and I knew she could tell what I was thinking. I smirked at her, and she smirked right back- fuck, were we really doing this? Less than I day after we agreed that it wouldn’t happen again?
Before I could stop myself, I leaned across the table, slipped my hand around the back of her neck, and kissed her. I was glad the place was almost empty- less gossip to go around, less people to bare witness to what was about to happen. I pulled back, and she met my gaze, her breath coming quicker than before. Mine was too. I let my eyes trail down her body, and flashed back to the sight of it writhing on top of me. Jesus, I needed this girl- needed her bad, needed her right that second.
“My place is just around the corner,” she suggested, and we got shot a look of deep and barely restrained disapproval from an old man sitting opposite us. We exchanged a look, and she giggled, sounding giddy.
“Let’s go,” I held my hand out to her, the awkwardness of the conversation forgotten at once as I felt the heat that had been between us the night before growing once again. She slid her hand into mine, and we left the coffee shop, our drinks abandoned, and our bodies pressed as tightly together as was appropriate to be seen in public.
Chapter Nine
As soon as we were through the door, our clothes were coming off; I knew he was just trying to divert my attention from the seriousness of the discussion we’d been having, but I couldn’t resist him. I assumed that our attraction existed only after a few drinks, but it turned out that it sprang to life whenever we were alone together.
As he cast aside his shirt, he reached for me, tucking his hand behind my head and pulling me in for another kiss. It was as explosive as the one back at the coffee shop- but instead of promising more, it delivered. His tongue slipped into my mouth, and I was brought back to the night before, how good he had felt inside me. I didn’t even give enough of a shit to think about the empty pizza box on the floor, or my cast-aside clothes, or the fact that I was meant to be chasing a story right now- as Sam backed us both up on to the bed, I couldn’t think of anything but him. We fell down on to the messy covers, and he clambered on top of me, running his lips across my collarbone.
I slid my hands over his back, trying to ignore the nagging part of my brain that told me this was a bad idea- weren’t bad ideas like this secretly really fucking sexy? I had never done the forbidden thing before, and I couldn’t believe how hot it was- he moved his head up to kiss me hard, and I grabbed his face and pulled him closer. His stubble was rough against the pads of my fingers, as I caressed up his jaw and behind his head- I loved the weight of him on top of me, loved that I could feel the strength in his body as I trailed my fingers down his arms.
We were already naked, and I could feel his erection pressing hard into my thigh. I was about to shift my body slightly so he could enter me and we could finally get what we both wanted, but then I remembered- condoms.
“Have you got a-?” I asked, and he leaned off of me to grab the packet from his jean’s pocket. He pulled it out and dangled it in front of me tantalisingly-then stuck it on the bedside table.
“I’m not done with you yet,” he murmured, leaning down once again- but this time, he started working his way down my body, kissing my neck, running his teeth over my nipples, and finally grazing down my stomach till he was kneeling between my legs. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, staring intently as he parted my thighs in one gentle motion. He looked up at me, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips, and then began to lower his mouth towards me. He took his time, making sure that I could feel the heat of his breath on my skin before he so much as touched me. I squirmed below him, silently urging him to go faster and get there quicker. But, as soon as he did, it became clear that it was worth the wait.
He sealed his lips around my clit and began to suck lightly, sending spasms of pleasure across my lower body- I closed my eyes and let my head fall back, my mouth falling open slightly as he ever-so-lightly flicked his tongue out against my clit. It was almost too good, my pussy too sensitive to his touch-even better than the night before, with both of us sober and in control and-
My brain rattled to a halt as he moved to gently suck on my pussy lips,
my body arcing up in response to his touch. Fuck. He moaned slightly, sending vibrations across my skin- and another shock of arousal through my system. I had never been with a guy who actually seemed to enjoy going down on me, and it was an edifying experience. He buried his face into my pussy, tasting every inch of me, running his tongue around my inner lips and across my slit, taking his sweet time. I ran my hands through his hair and gripped lightly, scratching my nails over his scalp to silently confirm to him that yes, this was working, and yes, I wanted more.
He returned his attention to my clit, and slowly pushed a finger inside of me as he did so; he moved slowly within me, turning his finger this way and that as if getting to know every part of me. My hips lifted off the bed, practically of their own accord, and I let out a small moan; I was soaked, my pussy throbbing as I grew closer and closer to coming. But I didn’t want to- at least, not yet.
“Fuck me?” I asked, managing to prop myself up on my elbows to look down at him. The words almost didn’t make it out of my mouth once I laid eyes on him, his gorgeous face between my legs- but I knew I wanted to come with him inside of me. He pulled his head back, mouth glistening with my juices, and smiled broadly.
“Whatever you want,” he climbed back on top of me and kissed me once again, so I could taste myself on him; it was curiously erotic in a way it had never been with my other partners. Maybe because it didn’t seem like any of them were enjoying themselves half as much as him. He reached for the condom and sheathed himself quickly, before taking one of my legs and draping it over his shoulder. He kissed the sensitive spot on the inside of my knee as he positioned himself at my entrance and then, in one swift motion, pushed himself inside of me.
“Fuck!” I gasped, reaching up to grip his arms as he thrust almost his entire length into me in one swift motion.
“You okay?” He panted, and I nodded. It was just a shock to the system, how good he felt-I almost came right there and then. But he slowed down, took his time, and began to fuck me, allowing me to get used to the sensation. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him down on to me, so I could inhale his scent as we screwed- I sank my nails into his back and raked them across his skin, eliciting a small moan for my troubles. I wasn’t sure how long we were like that- could have been a few minutes, could have been an hour- but I could have gone all night. I lifted my hips to meet his thrusts, and savoured the way he felt buried inside me up to the hilt. I couldn’t believe I’d almost talked myself out of this only this morning- to think, if we’d stuck to our guns, none of this might have happened.
He flipped me on top of him, as we had been in the car, and I sat up straight, placing my hands on his chest to balance myself. Fuck, he looked good- gripping my hips, he guided me up and down on top of him. I ground my hips down as far I could, forcing him inside of me, and watched as his face contorted with pleasure. I loved getting that reaction out of him, loved seeing him practically speechless from how good I felt- and, suddenly, I realized I was on the brink of coming. The sight of him like that had, apparently, been enough, and I slipped my hands between my legs and stroked my clit a few times, coaxing myself over the edge. I closed my eyes, my nails tensing against his skin, focusing in on the only thing I wanted in that moment-and then, finally, I came.
And, my God, was it worth the wait. I shuddered on top of him, my shoulders hunching and shivering and my thighs tensing as my orgasm shuddered through my body. A few seconds later, I felt his fingers tighten against my skin, and his cock flex and twitch inside of me as he reached his own climax. Exhausted, I lay down on top of him, and we kissed once again-he was still inside me, and I could feel his cock slowly growing still as our tongues met lazily. Then, I drew myself off of him, rolled to the side, and shot him a coy look.
“So, that’s that rule broken,” I remarked, and he turned to look at me with a smile.
Chapter Ten
“Yeah, I guess so,” I replied. She looked so gorgeous, lying next to me on the bed like that- her hair was messy, her cheeks flushed, her eyes at the same time bright and totally relaxed.
“I don’t think I mind too much,” she admitted playfully, and I nodded, turning to lie on my back and stare at the ceiling.
“Yeah, I think we can let it slide for now.”
There was a pause, and she propped herself up on her elbows and looked at me with a smile on her face. After a second or so, I met her gaze.
“What is it?” I demanded, letting one hand fall lazily on her lower back, just after her perfect ass. It was tempting to let my fingers roam further, but I fought the urge- I didn’t want to be sore for training tomorrow.
“You’ve not got out of answering those questions, you know,” she commented. I furrowed my brow.
“What do you mean?”
“I know why you kissed me back there,” she nodded over her shoulder, in the direction of the coffee shop. “You didn’t want to have to think about any of the stuff I was asking you about.”
“Uh, that wasn’t it,” I sat up, pulling my hand back from her. What kind of bullshit pillow talk was this? Did she really think this is what I wanted to be talking about right now?
“It’s cool if it was,” her eyes glinted with amusement. “Maybe I should ask you more tough questions, let you distract me again.”
“Maybe I just don’t want to tell you everything about my life knowing you’re going to go print it in your magazine as soon as you get the chance,” I muttered, and swung my legs out of bed. I started grabbing my clothes and getting dressed, and Emily sat up, her brow furrowed.
“Hey, I was just kidding,” she protested, but I didn’t want to hear it.
“Whatever,” I snapped. “I should probably go.”
“I don’t mind if you stay the night,” she offered, but I shook my head, already checking in my pocket for my car keys.
“I should get home,” I muttered. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow, I guess,” Emily replied, and I could hear the surprise and annoyance in her voice. I ignored it, opened the door, and headed out on to the street.
As soon as I got to my car, I grabbed the wheel and stared down at my hands. What the hell had I been thinking, coming here? How the hell did I think this was going to end? I mean, she was cool- I liked her well enough, and I couldn’t deny that we had insane chemistry. But she was...there for a reason, and it wasn’t just because of me. She had a story to come up with, characters to create, and every minute we spent together she was likely doing that inside her head. It was an offputting thought, one that I did my best to put to the back of my mind whenever I could. But the way she spoke to me then…as though she had a grip on me and was proud of it. Maybe I was so put out because I knew she was right, and the thought of someone who barely knew me getting me in that way was scary. Or maybe it was just because I didn’t want another person examining my motivations and my reasoning and everything that came with it. I just wanted to be left alone- was that so much to ask? Apparently so.
I drove fast all the way back to my apartment, glad that there was no-one else on the roads for me to piss off. I wondered how fast the gossip would have spread about this night, about the kiss we shared in the coffee shop, about us staggering back to her apartment with our hands all over each other. Had she only done it in the hopes of getting something for her story? An image of her on top of me, coming, flashed through my brain- no, you couldn’t fake that kind of slack-jawed, eye-rolling pleasure, no matter how dedicated a journalist you were. There was something between us, it was just all messed up in a pile of motivations that neither of us seemed to be able to sort out.
So, what now? I would have to avoid her. I didn’t want anything more to do with her beyond what was required from me. I would give her everything she needed to write the story, and that would be the end of that. I wasn’t required to do anything beyond being precisely pleasant to her and nothing more, and that’s what I would do. Johnson likely wouldn’t be too happy with me- he said I had trou
ble keeping it in my pants at the best of times, and he was probably right- but he would have to deal with it. Besides, I was done- no more Emily for me, no more anything. Because she seemed to understand me too vividly, maybe just as a character in her story, but still- it was unnerving, and I didn’t like how close she felt to me. How much she seemed to know me. And how she already had some kind of opinion on what I should be doing with my future.
I found myself driving out of town, even though it was already late and I should have been heading back to my apartment to get a good night’s sleep; I wasn’t even thinking when I took the left and turned down the road towards the spot by the river I used to go to in high school. Before I knew it, I was there- next to the bridge, the old rocks we used to hang out on still there even after all this time. I climbed out of the car and looked around, as if I half-expected a bunch of teens smuggling a covert six-pack to appear at any second. But nothing-it was just me, here down by the river, alone. The only sound once I turned my engine off was that of the river trickling quietly below me. I scrambled down the bank and sat myself down in the spot I’d had my first beer at, and looked down at the water below me, trying to calm myself.
Could I really leave this place behind? If I left, all this- all these memories-wouldn’t be just a car ride out of town. They would be half a country away. None of this would be easy to come to. I would have to make an effort to see my parents, my friends, my old teammates. And I would have to start over. That was the scariest part. Everyone knew me here. Going out to Philadelphia, everything would start over again- I would have to prove myself, have to make myself known once more.
And what if I failed? There was no guarantee that it wouldn’t happen. That was what struck fear into me the most- if I left all this behind, it would be to great fanfare- there would be no sneaking out in the middle of the night, no getting away without people noticing. Everyone would wish me the best- and what if I couldn’t deliver on that? What if I had to come slinking back a few months later having completely fucking it up? What if I simply wasn’t good enough? I was good enough for the Crows, but there was nothing to guarantee that that would carry over to the big leagues.
