by Cassie Mae
“Unless you walk out holding my hand and we’re in this together. We can’t hide anymore, Tyler. We’re either out in the open or nothing at all.”
I purse my lips at her stubbornness. If it weren’t such a shitty situation, I’d find it cute as hell. But it is a shitty situation. If I go out there with her, I’d screw things not only for my team, but for her too. Our towns are rivals. Not only the teams, but the parents, the schools, everyone fights everyone and I don’t want her to get hurt or deal with all the shit.
“Guess we’re at an impasse.”
“Guess so.”
She crosses her arms, folding in on herself, and damn it if I don’t want to say screw every person outside this room.
I take a few steps backward before turning to the door. My fingers hit the knob right as Sam’s small voice echoes through the bathroom.
“You still love me.”
She doesn’t ask, and good… because she doesn’t have to.
I look over my shoulder, wait till her eyes lift from the floor and meet mine.
“More than football.”
Then I leave, not knowing when the hell I’ll see her again.
I trace my lips, still feeling Tyler’s against them. I’m so angry right now I can’t leave the bathroom for fear that I’ll do something I’ll regret.
I check my reflection in the mirror to make sure it doesn’t look like I’ve been hardcore making out, take a deep breath, and then leave the bathroom.
I don’t care that Tyler wants us a secret. I’m done. And I’m not afraid to show them all that we don’t have to be a part of a stupid, ancient rivalry.
The Trojan players look up at me when I put my hands on the end of their table. The only one I recognize is Daniels.
“Hi. You guys don’t know me, but I’m Sam. I was Tyler’s girlfriend. We had to hide the fact that we love each other because of a stupid rivalry that neither of us were ever a part of. I understand a rivalry on the football field, but why does it have to be off? And so bad that two people who love each other can’t even be together? You guys are supposed to be brothers. Brothers stick with each other and stand by each other through anything. You know if the roles were reversed Tyler would support any of you. He’s just that type of guy. A wonderful one. So now because of all of this we’re both miserable.”
No one says anything, most of them just gawk at me like I’ve just plopped from a UFO. I turn to the Skyhawks. Brad’s jaw is clenched, but I don’t care.
“And you guys. Holding a defenseless guy while one of you beat the shit out of him. And why? Oh right, because this guy tells you to.” I point to Brad.
Half the Skyhawks look away and the other half look at me like I’ve lost my mind. Brad’s face rushes crimson.
“I’m a Skyhawk, but I’m in no way Skyhawk property. How does a twenty-year-old rivalry get to dictate who I date? Tyler and I weren’t hurting anyone. You all need to grow the hell up.”
I walk to the door, and Brad calls out to me.
“Sam, wait.”
He follows me outside, the buzz of the two teams echoing out into the darkness with us. I’m sure some of them are laughing at my self-righteous drivel, but I honestly couldn’t give a shit.
“Sammy…”
I swivel on my heel. “Don’t. Call. Me. That!”
He stops dead, snow crunching under his boots. It’s falling all over his shoulders, dripping from his blond hair, and his eyes so full of malice the other night look like complete opposite orbs now, staring at me with such sorrow I start to regret my outburst.
“Sam…” he starts again. “I’m… I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. And I… I think I need help.”
I breathe out, creating puffs of smoke in the frosty air.
Brad frowns and takes a tentative step toward me. “Football is the only thing I have that makes me feel…”
He drops off, but I finish it for him. “Alive.”
“I’m worried about my spot next year. If I don’t start, Dad’ll… be upset, I think. And with the fights, the suspension, I haven’t been able to play and my anger just… it boils up. It eats at me, and I don’t know what to do.”
I watch him struggle with his words, struggle with how to hold his hands, struggle to keep himself under control just talking about it all. I take a deep breath and step forward. “So you get in more fights?”
“I drink,” he admits. “I steal my father’s booze and I guzzle it down. Some nights are… worse than others.”
His eyes flick to mine, and I take another step forward. “I think you should try a punching bag instead.”
He somewhat chuckles at that. “Not all of us can be strong with the shit that happens. I honestly don’t know how you handle it.”
I shake my head. “I don’t. I haven’t been.”
“I need help,” he says again. “I just don’t know how—”
“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Jeff says from behind us. “But the owner of this place just found out we’re Skyhawks.” He turns to me with narrowed eyes. “He’s refusing service. Think we better jet. It’s going crazy in there.”
Brad nods, then turns back to me. “Can I give you a ride? Or are you still mad at me?”
“I’m always a little mad at you.”
He gives me a semi-grin, then we get in the car and he drives me back home.
“Hey, Brad?”
“Hmm?”
“Tyler really wasn’t just trying to get back at you. I know you believe that, but I don’t.”
He presses his lips together and gives me one short nod. I’m not sure if I’ve convinced him, but I don’t press it.
“Thank you for apologizing,” I say, opening my car door. “And for the ride.”
“Sam.” Brad stops me, and I turn and look at him. “Do you trust him?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I love him.”
He slides his hand on the steering wheel and doesn’t say anything, so I hop out of the car.
When I get inside, my legs give out, and I slump to the floor. It’s hard to believe that just three short weeks ago I was the happiest I’d ever been. Now it feels like it was all some sort of wild and crazy dream. I’m so emotionally drained, I doubt I can handle another conversation that revolves around the team or football or the rivalry.
The front door is hard against my back, and I drop my head between my knees. I’m trying to keep quiet, because I don’t want to wake Josh. He should be sleeping by now.
“Sam?” Mom’s voice has me hoisting myself to my feet.
“Yeah. Sorry just got home.”
I go to move past her, but she stops me by putting her hand on my arm.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.” She pauses, closes her eyes and then opens them. “I know I haven’t really been there for you much lately, but I want you to know I’m here now.”
“That’s great, Mom.” I really could have used you after Dad died, but you really didn’t care about me or Josh’s feelings did you? Just your own. I bite my lip to keep all that built up frustration inside. I can’t handle another talk where I have to be the one who carries the weight.
I start to walk away again, but her voice stops me from getting far.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you. I’m sorry I gave into my grief and wasn’t the mother you and Josh needed.” Tears well up in her eyes. “I can’t take that time back. I loved your father so very much and when he died, I couldn’t handle it. I should have. I should have been here for you guys. I was just so lost in my own grief I couldn’t see anyone else’s. I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?” Her voice breaks and the tears track down her face.
I let out a sigh, turning around, thinking maybe I don’t have to carry all the weight. Maybe I can finally share it. “I know.” And I do, cause what have I been doing for the last three weeks?
Nothing but staying in my room and sobbing and wishing things were different. I could stay mad at her and hold a grudge, but why? I can completely understand. She was alone and didn’t ask for help. And I didn’t try to help her either.
She holds her arms out, and it takes me a minute, but I fall into them.
Her arms wrap around me and I let out a big breath. We stand there for what feels like forever, just holding each other.
She rubs my back and says, “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry too.”
She backs away, grasping my arms and looks at me. “You don’t have to apologize. You kept everything together for me.” The corners of her mouth turn up a little.
I nod, but then I shake my head. “I tried to keep things together, but I’m pretty sure I made a mess of things.”
Her eyebrows knit together, and then words gush out of my mouth. I tell her everything… well minus the night near the forty yard line. But from when Tyler ran into me after the first Skyhawk/Trojan game, to tonight. Throughout it all she doesn’t say anything, she just listens while I talk and choke up and talk some more.
“That’s why you and Brad were fighting?” Her forehead crinkles, and her mouth turns down.
“Yeah.” I shake my head. “And Tyler broke up with me because of some stupid rivalry, but I know he still loves me. I just don’t know what to do. Why does it have to be so hard?”
“So this is all because of the rivalry that you can’t be together?”
“Think about it, Mom. You’re a Skyhawk too. You’ve seen how crazy this town gets around football season.”
Mom nods. “I see your point. But if you love this boy as much as I think you do you can’t let anyone stand in your way. If we’ve learned anything from losing your dad, it’s that life’s short. You don’t know what to do?” She sits up straight and puts a hand under my chin. “I think you do. You’re my strong girl. You won’t take this lying down.”
My heart thumps a beat that gets stronger and stronger, Mom’s words pounding their way through my body. She’s right. These people have no right to dictate who I’m with.
“I’m gonna do something about it.”
“Koontz! Get your ass on the bench!” Coach Bean screams at me after my third fumble. I slip through the mud, cursing the downpour and my practice cleats. Daniels pats my shoulder as I pass, and I want to take my helmet off and chuck it across the field, but that’s a surefire way to get my ass kicked off the lineup tomorrow.
I plop down on the offensive bench, next to Jacoby. He’s in full uniform, minus one of his cleets since he’s still in a cast. He’s nuts because he’s in physical therapy, obviously Coach won’t let him on the field, yet here he is getting drenched just to watch our pitiful practice.
“Nice catch,” he jokes, and I slug him in the shoulder, then shake my hand out, quickly regretting being such an idiot and punching him while he’s wearing pads.
Coach blows his whistle and Daniels runs a sweep.
“I can’t believe he didn’t break anything,” Jacoby says, and I cut my glance to him as he nods at my face. “I mean… one hit to Fredrickson, one hit to me, and our bones snapped. You get wailed on about eighty times, yet, there you sit.”
“Jealous of my abs of steel?”
“That’s shit, and you know it.” He wipes rain from his brow. “He held back on you. I think he knows he’s close to suspension.”
“Wasn’t on the field,” I say, watching Young tackle Gunderson. Maybe Jacoby has a point… did he hold back on me?
“Doesn’t matter. Skyhawk coach warned any of them if they were gonna mess with us, they were off the team.”
“Why the hell would their coach care?”
Jacoby takes a deep breath, coughs and spits into the dirt. “’Cause, man, I’m joining their team next year.”
I jolt back so hard I nearly slip off the edge of the bench. “Say what?”
“They’re redrawing the district lines. People are moving around.”
“What… when… how did you hear about this?”
“Dude.” He rolls his eyes toward me. “My mom’s on the school board.”
“Are any… I mean, shit, man. Are any of them coming over here?”
He nods, wiping off more rain from his lips. “A few. Not many players though.”
My instant thought is Sam. She’s pretty close to the line. Maybe… no, it doesn’t matter.
Wait, does it? Should it matter?
“Daniels would’ve gone too if he wasn’t a senior.”
“Damn.” I shake my head at the field. Every single one of these guys is my brother. Including Jacoby next to me. What’s it gonna be like seeing him in Skyhawk red? Seeing any of them in Skyhawk red? Is it gonna be weird having some of the Skyhawks in yellow?
“Nolan found out about the boundaries moving. And guess who’s the lucky guy who plays the same position?”
He points at himself as he adjusts on the bench.
“Holy… is that why—”
“He busted my leg open. Yeah. I’m guessing.”
I eye Coach Bean, arms crossed and whistle hanging from his mouth, rain making his polo stick to him. How long has he known? Is that why he’s been pissing about the rivalry so much this year?
“I know it’s gonna suck at first,” Jacoby says, digging his cleats into the mud. “But if it’s that or not playing at all, I’m gonna take what I can get.”
“I get you.”
“Just don’t go hatin’ on me when I’m wearing red.” He smirks and lays a fist into my shoulder pad, then shakes it out like I did. “And don’t fall in love with me either.”
If it weren’t for the whistle Coach blows—and the fact that both Jacoby and I have been beaten enough—I would’ve tackled him to the mud. Thing is… he has a point. It’s not about what color we put on. It’s about the game.
We trudge back to the locker room. Jacoby jokes around with the rest of us, like it doesn’t even faze him that we won’t ever play another game together as teammates. Hell, I don’t even know where I’ll end up next year.
“Hey,” Daniels says, pulling me to the side and letting the guys pass, “I talked Coach into giving you two quarters tomorrow.”
I raise an eyebrow. “After that practice? You’re shitting me.”
“I made him bench you so you’re not worn.” He knocks the helmet in his hand against mine. “I need you to help me fix this thing between the Skyhawks.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Beat their asses.”
I shake my head. “I’m not getting kicked off the field for another fight.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what?”
He pulls in a deep breath and sets a hand on my shoulder. “This isn’t just a game for us. It’s life. We’re all brothers.”
“Yeah.”
“Not just Trojans. But anyone who plays like a team. Prove that to them.”
Then he pats my shoulder and jogs to the locker room, leaving me confused as hell.
***
I get home in a daze. Go through the motions. Change. Shower. Eat. TV. Mom and Dad take off for a night out. Hunter says he’s headed over to Alina’s. And Cooper and Spencer are back at school. As soon as they’re all out of the house, Parker pops in Frozen and climbs on my lap. Halfway through the movie, she shifts, hair going straight up my nose and making me sneeze.
“Bless you, Ty.”
“Thanks.”
She pulls her blanket tight around her shoulders. “I thought you were asleep.”
“No.”
“You haven’t talked.”
“Sorry.”
Her hand grapples around my hip till she finds my phone. “Can you call Sam? She’s more fun.”
I grab the cell before she makes the call herself. “I can’t, Park. Sam and I aren’t really friends anymore.”
“Did you break her heart?” She gasps and a big smack rattles my brain. “Ty! Prin
ce Eric would never hurt Ariel.”
“You hit me!”
“And I’ll hit you again. You need to treat Sam like a princess.”
Man, I wish she understood. I wrap her arms up in her blanket so she doesn’t abuse me.
“Can I tell you the whole story before you beat me up?”
She nods and moves so she’s facing me and not the TV.
“So, there’s Tyler… and he has a lot of brothers. And there’s a bad guy, who also has a lot of brothers.”
Her small eyebrows pull in. “A bad guy?”
I nod. “And when Tyler fell in love with the bad guy’s cousin, it got really messy. His brothers kept getting hurt. And he really didn’t want the girl to choose between him and her family. So he stopped seeing her.”
“Why won’t his brothers take down the bad guy so he can be with her?”
“You know that already.” I poke her in the forehead. “The girl and the bad guy are family. And Tyler’s brothers care about football. They care about beating the bad guy’s team on the field. And the girl should root for her family.”
She wiggles loose from the blanket, and I prepare myself for another hit, but she hugs me instead. “So…the bad guy wins?”
I sigh and hug her back. “I guess so.”
Her arms tighten enough to choke me before she pulls back with wide eyes. “Maybe the story isn’t over yet.”
“Park…”
“If all your brothers care about is football, why would they care who you love?”
I blink. My mouth pops open, but nothing comes out. Damn, this kid. That’s what Daniels was saying, wasn’t it? There shouldn’t be a rivalry. It should just be the game. And Sam and I… our relationship has nothing to do with that.
I tickle Parker’s knee. “Have you been watching Dr. Phil?”
She giggles. “No, I’m just super smart.” She waves my phone in front of my face. “So…?”
I grin and take the phone, flicking to Sam’s number. My thumb swivels around the keyboard while I ask Parker, “You’re gonna help me get her back?”
She claps and bounces on my lap. “Yes!”
I tap the phone off and sneak it back into my pocket. “Then gear up for the game tomorrow night.”
