SEVENTEEN
Her dad always taught her that God wouldn’t give her more than she could handle. Well, Raine was beginning to wonder if God had overestimated her, because she felt as if she were approaching her breaking point. Rapidly.
Dinner should be a simple affair, with good food, good talks, and good company. But this dinner was going to be anything but simple and far from anything good. Raine not only had to face Mr. and Mrs. Moss again, but she might have to endure time with Camron, and she just didn’t know if she had enough strength for that.
Her dad’s words echoed in her head as Raine stepped into a flowing summer dress that stopped dead when it reached her hips.
“If He sees fit, God will forgive you. Now go pray that he does.”
Those words, spoken at a time when she needed her father’s caring embrace and loving words more than God’s interminable silence, looped through her mind on repeat. It was a month to the day when she discovered she was pregnant and her father took it as a sign that she had not earned forgiveness and forced her to leave the only home she’d ever known.
Maybe she hadn’t. After all, why else would she be summoned into the demon’s lair? In less than twenty-four hours, she might have to sit across from the devil himself and pretend that all was well with the world. Her only saving grace was that Jarret would be there with her the whole time.
Small blessings.
It didn’t mean she felt any easier about it. Her stomach had been in a constant state of upset since the night before when she agreed to go, and every second that passed, she rethought her words, considered backing out, making an excuse. She could tell Jarret she was sick, and it wouldn’t be a total lie. She felt sick, the constant twisting, turning, and swaying in her belly making her feel as if she’d boarded a canoe headed down the rapids.
Perhaps the most frustrating development of all was that she’d grown out of all her clothes seemingly overnight. Nothing, not even her dresses, would fit over her fat ass. Raine felt like tearing her hair out. What more could go wrong?
Yanking the dress down her thighs, she kicked it away and threw herself down on the bed. Pulling the covers up to her neck—the only thing that would fit—she closed her eyes and breathed deep. It would do her no good to get upset. The baby wouldn’t like it and it didn’t solve anything anyway. The best thing to do would be to regroup.
Then eat a bowl of ice cream.
With chocolate sauce.
Already she felt better. Maybe a nap would bring it all together. Everything looked better when viewed through fresh eyes. With a plan made up, Raine settled in and allowed herself to enjoy one of her last days of uninterrupted sleep.
***
“Raine, wake up!”
Someone was screaming. Raine’s heart thundered in her chest at the sound of the blood curdling screams in the distance. Whoever it was, they needed help. Raine shot upright, her eyes wide open. It took her a moment to get her bearings, and when she did, she realized she was safe in her bed. She reached for her glasses on the nightstand and put them on. Jarret knelt over her, his freshly showered hair dripping down her front as he continued to hold her shoulders in a bruising grip. Raine’s gaze skated over him, appreciating the tattoos covering his arms and the single line of script on his chest. It wasn’t until she looked into his eyes that she saw the lines of worry bracketing them.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, instantly going on alert.
“You were screaming. I was in the shower when I heard you screaming,” he said, his voice trembling. Even through the shadows, he appeared shell-shocked. “I thought someone was killing you.” Releasing her, he ran his hands over his face and through his hair wearily.
The dreams. Realizing what had brought him to her room, Raine suddenly felt exposed, and pulled the blanket up to cover herself. The dreams had been coming less frequently since she’d moved into Jarret’s home, but it didn’t come without a trade-off. They came less, but they were also much, much worse. She could never recall the details, the memories too vague to hold onto once she opened her eyes, but they still left an impression. She knew they were about Camron and they always left her with a deep sense of fear.
But thanks to Jarret, at least she felt safe when she woke up.
“Why do you live in this house all alone?” she asked, hoping to relieve them both of the disturbing nightmare. “This place is too big for just one person. Why don’t you have roommates?”
Jarret gave her a puzzled frown, his brows meeting in the middle. “Uh, I guess I just never saw the need for one. But you’re kind of my roommate now,” he said, his lips twitching up at one corner. “Does that count?”
“I guess, but what will you do when I move out?” They’d talked about her staying, but there was nothing in their arrangement that said forever. Raine had to plan for the future, whatever that may be.
“Well, I guess I’ll go back to being a flower in the attic.”
“A flower in the attic?” Raine chuckled.
“Yes a pretty one, with a great tan. Of course,” he said, holding up his arm and flexing the bicep, “without anyone to bring me nourishing meals, I’ll waste away and lose all this.”
“Oh what a sad day that would be,” Raine mocked teasingly. “Imagine all the girls who’d be beside themselves with grief.” Raine’s laughter faded as Jarret reached out to curl his fingers under her chin, his focus intent on her lips as he dragged his thumb across the bottom one.
“There’s only one girl I want to imagine.”
Jarret’s mouth grazed over hers, his lips a gentle caress that steadily deepened, turning hungry with each teasing sweep of his tongue across the seam of her mouth. Raine stiffened. She didn’t understand why, since he had kissed her before and she always found it pleasant—or more accurately, a deep and abiding craving—but this time, sitting in a bed, alone, and with her in only a t-shirt and panties, she felt vulnerable.
She shouldn’t feel that way, she reprimanded herself. Jarret had never tried to hide his intentions or his attraction to her, and he was nothing but kind and generous, so there was no reason why her heart should be trying to escape her chest. But it was. It felt as if he were sucking all the oxygen from her lungs, hollowing her out until nothing was left but a panic-stricken shell of flesh and bone.
“Jarret, stop!” Tearing her mouth away, Raine shoved Jarret back. Her eyes widened as soon as she realized what she had done, and she cupped her hands over her mouth. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”
Stunned was the only way to describe Jarret’s expression, but he reined it in quickly. Reaching out, he clasped her wrists in his big hands and tugged them down. Raine’s lips pressed into a firm line and she cast her gaze across the room, unsure what to say or how to explain her behavior.
“Raine,” Jarret began, his voice low and measured. “If I ask you something, would you promise to tell me the truth?”
That was a loaded question. Recognizing Jarret’s question as his way of gaining answers while still giving her control over the situation, Raine nodded reluctantly. “I’ll try.”
He nodded, his eyes downcast as he traced the thin blue veins crisscrossing the back of her hand. “This is the second time you’ve screamed in your sleep, that I know of. The dark circles under your eyes tell me it happens a lot more than that, too.”
Feeling a little uncomfortable, Raine tried to take her hand back, but Jarret held on tighter, forcing her to stay and listen. “Even though we’ve been living together for a couple months now, you’re afraid of me. Not completely, but there are times, like when I kissed you just now, that you don’t act right. You get this look in your eyes, like you’ve just witnessed your own death, and frankly, it scares the piss outta me.”
He was closer to the truth than he realized. Sometimes, it felt like Raine was witnessing her death, watching a part of herself dying right in front of her, and no matter how hard she tried to fight back, she could never save it. “Jarret…” God, what cou
ld she say? She didn’t mean to scare him, but she also wasn’t ready to tell him anything.
One look into his easygoing blue eyes, and Raine stopped talking, sensing Jarret’s need to say whatever it was he had to say.
“I have so many questions I want to ask you, but I have a feeling if I do, there won’t be a force strong enough to keep you from running out that door,” Jarret stated. “So I’m only going to ask you this one thing, Raine, and I want you to tell me straight.” His hand on hers turned into an iron grip. “You would never do anything to hurt yourself, would you?”
It didn’t matter how hard he tried to hold on, Jarret couldn’t keep Raine from jerking out of his grip. “Never,” she said fiercely, gathering the blankets up around her neck.
“How can I be sure?”
Raine narrowed her eyes in offence. “I understand that you don’t know a lot about me, Jarret, but one thing you should know is that I was raised in a very religious family. My father is big on God and if he taught me anything at all, it is that it’s a mortal sin to take one’s own life. Whether that’s true or not, I wouldn’t risk it, especially if it means risking an innocent child.”
“Okay,” Jarret said, holding up both hands in surrender, “I believe you.” Raine’s shoulders gradually lowered as she registered the sincerity of his words. Jarret studied her, the light in his eyes slowly shifting from one of respect to a curious kind of amusement. “Can I ask one more question?”
Suspicious, Raine pursed her lips. “Fine, but only one.”
“Why are you still hal- naked and in bed in the middle of the afternoon?”
Her cheeks flamed instantly and Raine kicked the side of Jarret’s hip from beneath the blankets. “You have a serious issue with privacy,” she said, chuckling. Huffing and rolling her eyes, she figured she might as well tell him. “If you must know, I can’t fit into any of my clothes.”
“None of them?” Jarret asked speculatively.
“Not a one. I’m too fat for everything in my closet.” And why the hell did that make her want to cry? It was as if someone had hooked her tear ducts up to a faucet and turned them on and off at will. Frankly, as much time as she spent crying since becoming pregnant, she was surprised she’d never been hospitalized for dehydration.
“Nothing about you is fat,” Jarret assured her.
Rolling her eyes a second time, Raine corrected him. “Have you seen my thighs? I’m fat.” Mirrors and waistbands didn’t lie.
Jarret moved so fast he was a blur and the next thing Raine knew, he’d ripped the blankets right out of her hands. Standing at the side of the bed, Jarret wore a pleased smile as he visually inspected every inch of her while Raine frantically yanked and tugged at the too-short shirt that barely covered her swollen stomach.
“I don’t see this fat you’re talking about,” he said, once he’d finished looking her over. “Show me where all this fat is because all I am seeing is an amazing set of curves and smooth skin that seriously, Raine, is making me harder than hell.”
Her eyes immediately dropped to his crotch where she saw the hard evidence of his statement staring back at her through a loose pair of basketball shorts. Well, Raine thought, freezing in the middle of retrieving the blankets, he certainly doesn’t mince words.
“That’s right, Peach,” Jarret continued. “There is absolutely not one part of you that I don’t find incredibly hot.”
“But I have stretch marks,” Raine complained. She grimaced with every new line that emerged, her body slowly falling to ruin right before her eyes. And he was claiming he found that attractive?
“I’d kiss every one of them if you let me.” Pressing his thighs into the side of the bed, Jarret bent at the waist and planted his fists into the mattress, putting his face directly in front of hers. The heat glowing like embers in his eyes created a tight, tingling sensation to grow between Raine’s thighs as she held his gaze. “Nothing about how I feel about you is right or conventional. In fact, I should send you away right now and spare us both the trouble this is going to cause, but I won’t because something inside me tells me there will never be a sweeter, softer, juicer fruit than you, Peach. I know you’re not ready for me yet, but when you are, there won’t be anything that can stop me from sinking every part of myself into your heat.”
EIGHTEEN
Jarret felt like a complete idiot. He’d said some things to girls before when he intended to make them squirm, but there’d always been one goal in mind and he’d never truly meant the words…until now. Being that she came from a religious family, for a moment after he’d let his confession slip, he half expected Raine to run screaming out the door. She surprised him when she’d instead leaned in and kissed him.
It was the smallest, lightest kiss anyone had ever given him, but coming from her it was the most sensual, passionate experience of his life.
And wow, didn’t that make him sound like a pussy. Then he’d gone and compounded it by suggesting they go clothes shopping.
Seriously. Shopping. What guy in their right mind wanted to go shopping for clothes, let alone with a woman? A pregnant, hormonal woman. Twice. He must be insane.
“I’m not coming out,” Raine said, the dressing room door muffling her voice.
Jarret rolled his eyes and passed the sales clerk a knowing smirk. They’d been standing in the same spot for almost an hour and every outfit Raine tried on, it never failed that she refused to come out until he begged at least twice. “Come on, Peach, I’m sure you look beautiful.” Just as she had in everything else she’d tried on. In fact, he was having some pretty specific fantasies about the white and black daisy dress that dipped low enough in the front to flash her generous pale peeks, and crisscrossed in the back, finishing with a subtle, feminine black silk bow that rested just about her full, round ass.
Goddamn, his mouth was watering so bad, he was surprised he wasn’t drooling on himself.
“I look like Shamu!” she wailed, and Jarret was fairly certain he heard a sniffle.
Sighing, he handed off the outfits she had settled on to the sales lady, and knocked gently on the dressing room door. “Can I come in a minute?”
There was a moment of silence, and then a drawn out groan before the lock was flipped back and the door creaked open a crack. Jarret slipped inside, locking it behind him. Raine had chosen the handicap stall, claiming that she was, again, too fat to fit into a normal-sized one. Jarret thought she was being ridiculous at the time, but now that he was sharing the space with her, he was happy she’d chosen it. Gave him some elbow room.
Raine stood in front of a low bench built into the wall, placing discarded clothes back on their hangers, her shoulders hunched and her hair shielding her face from view.
But that wasn’t what had him standing like a complete dolt with his mouth gaping open. “Raine, where are your clothes?” For someone who had acted so shy earlier, when he’d seen her in underwear and a shirt, she certainly didn’t seem to have any qualms this time about being seen in only a bra and a pair of skimpy, thin lace underwear. The girl was a mystery.
With a delicate sniff, she lifted her shoulders. “Why bother when you’ve already seen it all anyway? Besides, everything I put on looks likes crap. I might as well throw on a burlap bag and call it a day.”
“If you’re into burlap, I know this place down by the pier that sells it at wholesale…” The killing look she shot over her shoulder at him shut Jarret right up. “Sorry, bad joke.” Edging closer, Jarret put his hands on her shoulders, ignored it when he felt her stiffen, and began applying gentle pressure to the tight muscles. It only took a minute before he felt her begin to relax. “You’ve got at least ten outfits waiting for you out there. What do you say we blow this place, pick up something to eat, and head home?”
Shoulders slumping in what Jarret assumed was in relief, Raine sighed. “Yes, please. That sounds amazing.”
Gathering the pile of discarded clothes, Jarret stepped out of the room to give Raine time to get dres
sed, but not before pausing long enough to hand her a slinky, stretchy dress a shade of purple the sales girl called eggplant, and instructed her to wear it out. Despite how much he enjoyed seeing her wear his oversized clothes, he knew she would feel more comfortable in her own things.
They ended up in a drive-thru twenty minutes later ordering deep-fried seafood and ten minutes after that, they were in his bedroom, sitting cross-legged in the middle of his bed, with the projector pulled down and the surround sound blasting.
While he had always objected to the idea of having other people in his private space, ever since that first night when Raine had ventured in, he couldn’t get the idea of having her there again out of his head. So, he’d been the one to suggest watching a movie while eating their dinner in his room.
After very little argument, Raine had followed him up. Jarret remembered the look on her face as he stood back to see what she would do, giving her the opening to choose their destination. There was a spacious living area with a couch, chairs, and tables set up directly in front of the screen, but the way she grinned revealed her intentions and Jarret beamed with satisfaction as he watched her saunter to his bed and climb into the middle.
Now not only had Raine been in his room, sharing his space, but she was officially the first girl to be in his bed. His real bed, not one from a guest room or one belonging to a stranger at a random party, and fuck him, she looked right sitting there.
With a spread of artery-clogging food surrounding them, they dug in. As Jarret ate, he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Raine was too damn hot for her own good in her little dress, her hair tied back in a sloppy bun, and making tiny, almost non-existent moaning sounds that he found incredibly sexy.
“Stop looking at me,” Raine muttered around a mouthful of battered fish.
Snapping his attention back to the screen where John Cusack was trying to win a girl over by holding a stereo over his head, Jarret pretended he didn’t know what she was talking about. “I wasn’t looking at you,” he scoffed.
Raine Page 13
