“We’ll talk about it later.”
Raine’s head jerked back. His brusque response hurt. Jarret had always been kind to her, open and honest in a way no one else ever had been, but now he was shutting her out. Leaving her to sit in a corner at a table surrounded by people who hated her. She felt like screaming.
“Jarret?” She touched his arm to gain his attention.
“I said later,” he growled, shaking her hand off his arm.
And she’d officially reached her breaking point. Pushing her chair back, Raine was surprised by how steady her voice was. “I’d like to go home now.”
“You didn’t even eat your dinner,” Camron informed her.
“I’m not hungry. Jarret, please, can we go now?” Raine clutched her purse to her side, impatient to leave.
“It’s a hundred dollars a plate, Jarret,” Mr. Moss said, his words sounding casual to anyone who might overhear them, but Raine heard the warning. Money was clearly very important to Mr. Moss.
For a moment, Raine thought she might have to call a cab, but even upset, Jarret pulled through for her. With a sigh, he stood. “I promised her we’d go when she was ready. She’s ready.” After living with him for the last few months, Raine felt she knew Jarret pretty well. What he didn’t say was that he was ready, too. This dinner was a mistake, but she didn’t have to tell him that.
“Do you always let girls lead you around by your dick?” Mrs. Moss gasped at Camron’s crass words.
“Camron, mind your manners. We’re in a public place. Anyone can hear you,” Mr. Moss scolded, looking around the room to be sure no one had overheard.
“I’m just saying, Dad. Even after everything she’s pulled, he’s still keeping her around. She’s trying to ruin my life, and it’s as if he couldn’t care less.”
“This is why I wanted him to come home,” their mother added. “Jarret’s not ready to make adult decisions. He needs more guidance.”
Their father nodded. “I’d hoped that he would come around on his own, but I can see that he’s heading down the wrong path.” His dark, judgmental eyes fell on Raine, eying her with open hostility. No words needed to be spoken to know that he blamed her for Jarret’s supposed deviation.
“I’m right here, for crying out loud,” Jarret snapped. “Don’t talk about me like I’m not standing right here.”
“Jarret,” Mrs. Moss said, attempting to play the part of a concerned mother. “I worry for you. Don’t let this girl ruin your life like she has your brother’s.”
“Yeah, bro. She’s a real piece of work.”
“I heard she gave the whole football team fellatio,” Marylyn provided helpfully, and Camron tipped his head at her.
“There ya go.”
“What the hell are you even doing here?” Jarret asked angrily at the same time Raine’s hands balled into fists.
“You’re a liar,” Raine seethed, unable to hold back her temper any longer. There was only so much to could take before she had to speak up. “You’re both liars.”
“Says the biggest liar of them all. I bet you don’t even know who that kid’s daddy is,” Marylyn snarled. She’d placed herself just in front of Camron, as if she’d taken it upon herself to act as his protector. If only she knew that beneath that pretty exterior, the man she was trying to protect was nothing but a wolf in sheep’s clothing. “Camron sure as hell wouldn’t be caught dead touching someone like you. He’s got too much class to pick up bottom feeders, unlike Jarret.” Preening, Marylyn took a step back and aligned herself with Camron.
A united front, except for Jarret, the family stared Raine down with hateful looks. In the past, Raine would have lowered her head and slunk away. Hell, a week ago, she probably would have done the same, but not today. Not now. The fire she’d once had sparked to life—building her up the hotter it grew. She didn’t know what had changed, wasn’t entirely sure anything had, but at that particular moment, she felt like she could bench press a semi.
All of her hurt, anger, humiliation, and sadness had culminated into a burning desire to lash out, to take control. Her life hadn’t been her own in so long, she didn’t even know what it was supposed to look like, but the absence of just being her was something she sorely missed. The girl she saw in the mirror wasn’t someone she often recognized—only catching glimpses of the fun, happy girl she once knew.
Raine wanted that girl back. She wanted to feel whole again, to feel like a person who could face the day with her chin up and without apology, because standing here, in the middle of a restaurant she didn’t belong in, with people who could barely pass as human, she realized something. She had nothing to be sorry about. Everything that had happened to her, it wasn’t her fault. She hadn’t asked for it. She hadn’t brought it on herself because she’d dressed the wrong way, or said and did the wrong thing.
Camron was just a sick bastard who’d grown up thinking he could do anything he wanted, and never answer for anything. What would the good Mr. and Mrs. Moss think of their son if they knew what kind of person he really was? Would they stand by his side then? She wanted to wipe those smug looks off their faces.
For the first time in a long time, Raine was able to look Camron in the eye and not shy away. She told herself she should be shaking in her boots right now, considering what she was about to do, but the only thing Raine felt was a curious sense of calm. It was as if the constant storm she’d been walking around with for the last seven months had suddenly broken. She could almost feel the warmth from the sun trying to break through.
Taking a deep breath to steel herself, Raine let her confession spill out. “I know exactly who the father is, because before yesterday, I’ve only been with one man, and it wasn’t by choice. Camron raped me.”
TWENTY-TWO
All hell broke loose. Jarret’s parents were out of their seats in a heartbeat, cursing up a storm and completely shattering any pretense that they were the good, morally superior people they presented themselves to be. Camron was shouting, pointing his finger at her, calling her all kinds of names—disgusting, degrading names that, hours later, still had the power to make Raine feel like a pathetic, worthless fool.
Worst of all, Jarret wasn’t speaking to her. Amid threats of lawsuits and bogus accusations of child endangerment, management had escorted all of them from the restaurant. That only fueled the Moss’ rage against her, and if Jarret hadn’t towed her to the car when he had, she feared things might have become physical.
Everyone hated her, which was no real surprise, but having Jarret shut her out was what really hurt her. She had been degraded and humiliated once again, and this time, Jarret hadn’t been there to comfort her.
She hadn’t realized how dependent she’d become on him to hold her together. His absence made her aware of just how fragile her emotions had become. Although they were under the same roof, she’d never felt more alone. Even living alone in a shitty apartment hadn’t left her feeling as empty as she did now.
The moment they’d walked into the house, he’d taken off to his room in the attic and she hadn’t seen or heard from him since. It was as if someone had died. Her heart broke for the man upstairs. All she wanted was for him to talk to her, to hear her out, but he couldn’t even look at her.
Throwing on her robe, Raine slipped off the bed and ventured downstairs for a late night snack. No matter where her emotions were, she would never be the kind of person who lost their appetite. Warming up a bowl of chicken and rice soup from the previous night’s dinner in the microwave, Raine carefully carried it through the kitchen, intending to eat in her room, when a deep voice startled her.
“I called your parents.”
Fumbling with her plate, Raine steadied the bowl before it could slide off onto the floor, and then breathed deeply. “You scared the piss out of me,” she said, laughing as she redirected toward the living room. “What are you doing sitting alone in the dark?”
Jarret’s back was to her as he stared into the shadows blanketing th
e room. The lack of light combined with tension in the air set Raine on edge. And then she realized what he’d said.
“Wait, you called my parents?” A dozen questions sprang up in her mind, but only one stood at the front. “Why would you do that?”
“They were happy to hear that you were okay. In fact, they seemed really fucking relieved.”
“Oh, I bet,” Raine scoffed. Sensing that this conversation wasn’t going to be a quick one, she rounded the couch, set her dishes on the table, and sat down. Jarret’s face was cast in heavy shadows, making it impossible to read his expressions, but from the raspy sound of his voice, he was still very much upset by the day’s events.
“They want you to come home. I told them to come. They’ll be here to pick you up in about an hour,” he said succinctly, shocking the hell out of her.
Raine’s breath lodged in her throat and her heart thudded painfully in her chest. “What?” she whispered, certain she hadn’t heard him right.
“They miss you, Raine,” he explained, sounding tired all of a sudden. “They made a mistake and they want a chance to make it up to you. I think it’s the best place for you right now.”
Something in his voice shook her. Her brows pulled down in confusion. He couldn’t be serious. “But, I thought… You want me to leave?” She stumbled over her words, confusion making it difficult to think. Why would he call them? Why did he want her to leave? How could he not talk to her first?
“It’s for the best,” he said firmly, and she knew he had made up his mind. This wasn’t the Jarret she knew. Her Jarret would never be so cold and uncaring.
“Is this because I said no to being your girlfriend?”
“It has nothing to do with that.”
“Then what is it? I don’t understand why you’d kick me out. What about last night?” She had opened up to him, given a part of herself that she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to give again. He’d made love to her so sweetly, it touched something deep down inside of her, leaving no doubt that his tender touches, infinite patience, and softly spoken words had set the wheels in motion for her to finally begin to heal. Now he was sending her away as if none of that mattered? “Didn’t that mean anything to you?” What she meant to ask was don’t I mean anything to you, but she feared his answer too much to ask.
Leaning forward in his seat, Jarret dragged his palms down his face. “I can’t think about that right now. All I know is that I need you to leave.”
His words couldn’t hurt any worse than if he’d slapped her across the face. Raine reared back. “Is this because of what Camron said? Because he lied. I’m not a whore, I don’t sleep around, and I have never lied to you. Not once, Jarret,” she said fiercely. “I told the truth. He raped me. No matter what he says, he did it.” Surprisingly, the more she said the words, the easier they were to get out. Camron had raped her, and she wasn’t going to hide his shameful act any longer. She wanted to tell him about the bet, too, but she had a feeling that would make everything much worse. The only thing telling him would accomplish was hurting Jarret more than he already was, and revenge on Camron just wasn’t worth that price.
“And I’m supposed to believe you because you say it’s true?” Jarret asked incredulously. “Well, what about what Camron says? He’s my brother, damn it!” His fist came down on the table, vibrating the dishes and making Raine jump. “Am I supposed to just take your word for it? Accuse my own flesh and blood of doing something like that? What reason would he have for raping you, huh? Camron can get any girl he wants. Why would he force himself on you?”
“Why does anyone do what they do?” Raine shouted back, resenting his words. Brothers or not, it didn’t change the fact that Camron was a soul-sucking monster.
“He’s sick, Jarret. He hurts people. He hurt me,” she whispered, her throat tight with emotion. Dropping down onto her knees in front of him, she positioned herself between his open thighs, looking up into his eyes. Her own parents refused to believe her. If Jarret wouldn’t, it would destroy her. “I know this is hard for you, but I need you to believe me. You’re all I have. You’re my only friend, the only person who’s ever taken my side. I need you to believe me.”
Up close, Raine could just make out Jarret’s tortured expression. He held her gaze, unwavering, and just when she thought she might be getting through to him, Jarret stood and walked across the room. Raine’s shoulders slumped and she dropped her head, knowing he’d made his decision.
“I knew this would happen,” she whispered, no longer able to hold her head up. “I knew if I told you what happened, you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.”
“It’s not like that, Raine. I just need to think,” Jarret rasped. Combing his fingers through his shaggy hair, he laced them behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. When he next spoke, his words were detached. “Go pack your bags, Raine. Let’s not make this any worse than it already is.”
She couldn’t believe he was doing this. Dismissing her. Sending her away. Pressing her hands into the couch cushion, Raine lumbered to her feet. Standing with his back to her, Raine wanted so badly to go and wrap her arms around him and force him to tell her to stay. “So this is it? You want me to go?” Back to her parents. Back to the people who tossed her out on her ass with little care to what happened to her. So what if they felt badly about their actions? They should. Yes, she knew it was the Christian thing to forgive, but Raine just didn’t have enough give-a-damn left in her heart at the moment.
“It’s for the best,” Jarret repeated, his words sounding weak to her ears.
Wrapping her arms around herself, Raine squeezed her eyes shut until the stinging receded. Everything about this felt wrong. An incredible ache bloomed in her chest, stealing her breath. “You’re breaking my heart,” she whispered.
Dropping his head, the only sound in the room was Jarret’s heavy breathing, and then, without turning to look at her, he said, “I know.”
***
Raine looked around her old room, trying to picture it the way it used to be. She couldn’t say she was surprised that her parents had made changes, but…well, she was surprised. In some ways, she assumed that even though they had kicked her out of their lives, some things would never change. Boy, had they proved her wrong.
All of the walls had been cleared of the posters featuring her favorite boy bands that she’d tacked up, and were replaced with Victorian prints of girls in bonnets and fields of wheat set against freshly painted powder blue walls. She hated blue.
The desk, where Raine used to do her homework, was also gone, replaced with a massive treadmill that took up an entire wall, and she didn’t even want to think about where her bookshelf packed tight with novels had gone. The only thing that remained was her bed, but even the animal print blankets had been exchanged for a heavy down-filled comforter that looked better suited to a hotel room.
They’d erased her from their lives and turned her room into a guest room, and that’s exactly what Raine felt like—a guest.
“This is the last of your bags,” her father announced, dropping three enormous black garbage bags on the floor inside the door. “There should be some space in the closet to hang a few of your things. If you need any additional hangers, I’m sure your mother has a few you can borrow.” The skin around his eyes creased as he smiled at her. “We’re really happy you’re home, sweet pea.”
Raine nodded and looked away, refusing to allow his words to reduce her to any more tears. She hadn’t heard her father’s nickname since she turned sixteen. It took some effort, but she reminded herself how much she didn’t want to be there. She wanted to be back in her room, under Jarret’s roof instead. It was never intended to become her home, she knew that, but somewhere along the way, that’s exactly how Raine had begun thinking of it. Jarret’s home was where she wanted to be. That was her home. It was where she belonged.
Her silence must have tipped him off that she wasn’t in much of a talkative mood. Her father clapped his hands an
d rubbed his palms together in what she recognized as a nervous gesture. “Well, I’m sure you’re tired. I’ll leave you to settle in. Mom picked up your favorite ice cream sandwiches and some of those little packages of deli meat, the extra thin kind you like so much, in case you want a snack later,” he said backing from the room.
“Okay, thanks.” Raine just couldn’t find it in herself to be enthusiastic. If only he’d leave so she could be alone. She just needed some time to wallow in her misery, to really soak it in and have a good cry. Once that was out of the way, she’d be able to get her head together and come up with a plan. Because regardless of what her parents might think, she was leaving as soon as she had somewhere else to go.
“If you need anything, we’re just down the hall.”
“Okay.”
“We’ll talk in the morning, then,” he promised, sounding hesitant to leave. “Raine?” He sighed, and something in his voice made her turn to look at him. He looked older than she remembered. Worry lines creased his forehead, and his hair was grayer than before. He stared at his feet, struggling for words. “Parents aren’t perfect. Sometimes we make mistakes,” he said with a frown. “There’s no book out there that gives us all the answers. Believe me, I’ve checked. Your mother and I, mostly me, made a mistake. We never should have sent you away. The minute you walked out that door, I knew it was the wrong thing to do. We should have been there for you. We should have supported you better. That’s what we’re supposed to do, and I guess we lost sight of that for a moment.” Pained eyes that matched hers held her immobile. “I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us.”
The back of her throat burned. Raine swallowed thickly. “I’ll try,” she said honestly. She watched as her father closed the door, listening to his footsteps disappear down the hall before she sat down on the bed and gave herself over to her emotions.
Raine Page 17
