Feathers of her hair framed her beautiful face, and her body was wrapped in a black coat that accentuated her curves and had a bow around her middle. It made her look like a gift to unwrap, and my mind went straight to the gutter from there.
Before my dick could join the party and make things uncomfortable, I yanked my brain back into my skull and smiled at Raeanne. “I like that coat.”
It was an understatement, but it would have to do in front of Lawson. She ran her hands down her sides in a move that I would have thought was a deliberate attempt at seduction if any other woman had done it, but I could see that she’d done it unconsciously.
“Really? You don’t think it’s too tight? Lawson thinks I look like a stuffed sausage.” She gave him a mocking glare.
Her son just shrugged and laughed. “What?” he asked. “You do, but I still think you look pretty.”
You and me both, kiddo. “I don’t think you look like a stuffed sausage.”
“Thank you.” She winked at Lawson before turning toward me. “So, have you been here before?”
“We used to come here all the time when I was a kid.” I omitted to mention that we’d been brought here by Mom and our army of nannies. Hey, at least my mother had come with us. “Have you?”
She shook her head. “No. We’ve been talking about it for a long time, but we’ve just never really gotten around to it. You know how it goes.”
“In a town the size of this one?” I teased. “No, not really.”
The corners of her mouth twitched, but she held back her smile. “You’d be surprised at how much there is to do in a town this size when you’re alone with a baby.”
“True,” I conceded, then swept my hand out ahead of me. “Don’t worry. I got you covered. Go ahead.”
“There’s an entrance fee?” Raeanne frowned. “You shouldn’t have paid for us.”
“It’s a nominal amount. They use it for the maintenance of the entire area, so I’m happy to contribute.”
To my surprise, she lifted herself up on her toes to give me a peck on the cheek. “In that case, thank you. Lead the way. I’m sure you know your way around here if you used to come here so often.”
“I do,” I said, trying not to give in to the temptation to grab her arm and pull her back to me so I could kiss her properly. I wondered if we were going to have to talk about it at some point but decided not to think about it right now. Focus on the fun. “Okay, so that candy-striped ninety-foot monstrosity is the lighthouse.”
Raeanne laughed, bumping her hip against mine as we walked. “I think we got that part.”
“Yeah.” Lawson chuckled. “But thanks for pointing it out.”
I smirked, pointing at the hexagonal lighthouse. “Challenge accepted. I bet I’ve got plenty of facts about it that you didn’t know.”
“I read up about it this morning.” Lawson’s eyes sparkled in the way I was coming to learn they always did when he had new knowledge to impart.
I motioned for him to go ahead. “Okay then, good sir. Hit me. Let’s see if I have anything to add when you’re done.”
He nodded, his cheeks pink from the cold but his enthusiasm not at all dampened by it. “It was built in 1970 by Charles Fraser. He financed it himself because he thought that it and a golf course would draw some attention to the town when it was still in its fledgling stage. How I am doing so far?”
“I’m impressed,” I said, standing aside for them to precede me into the lighthouse when we reached it. “But I’m pretty sure that’s not all you’ve got.”
He shrugged in that what-are-you-gonna-do way. “There’s a shop at the top, and on the way up, there are pictures and historical relics on the way to showcase Hilton Head’s rich history.”
“That’s right,” I replied, relieved to see that there weren’t many other visitors around on this bitterly cold day. A definite perk of coming here in the coldest part of the off-season was feeling like we had the whole place to ourselves. “Do you know how many steps there are to the top?”
Lawson frowned for a moment, his eyes going glassy as he thought. “A hundred and sixteen?”
“Pretty close.” I clapped my hands, the sound echoing off the thick stone walls. “A hundred and fourteen. The idea behind placing all the pictures and relics on the wall was that tourists would get a self-guided tour while they were climbing to the top.”
“Looking up is like a work of art in and of itself,” Raeanne commented, pulling her camera out of the satchel she was carrying.
Lawson sighed, but he was grinning as he waved his hand toward his mother. “Don’t mind her. We should just keep going. She’s going to want to take pictures of everything.”
“Some day, while I’m taking pictures of everything, I’m going to take one that we can sell for enough money that we can go on vacation. We’ll see how much you complain about it then.”
He laughed, lifting his hands with his palms toward the sky as he surrendered. “That’s true. I won’t complain about a vacation. I’ve never been on one.”
Those words made my vision swim and my heart squeeze painfully, something it had never done. I lost track of their banter as I considered the fact that I’d been known to jet off to St. Moritz when I got bored, or once, I’d flown to Mexico on a whim when I felt like decent tequila.
It showed how much I’d grown as a person since I’d met them that I felt a wash of shame over the memories of those days instead of simply not giving a fuck. I vowed that once I told them the truth, I would take them on at least one kick-ass vacation they’d never forget. Then I realized they would have to forgive me for lying to them for that vow to be one I could keep.
A dark pang of something that felt far too much like fear stabbed at my gut, and I slammed it away with force as I noticed Raeanne stowing her camera away again. I cleared my throat of the acid it felt like someone was pouring down there when I considered the possibility that they might not forgive me.
“The oldest relic in here dates back to 3000 B.C.,” I said, more to distract myself than anything else.
Raeanne let out a giggle that made me look at her just in time to see her rolling her eyes. “You guys do know that not everything has to be a lecture, right?”
She walked out of the door at the top of the stairs first, gasping at the view that awaited her. “I mean, look at that. Can we all just take a moment to admire it before you break it down into facts?”
“Sure,” I said, standing with her on one side and Lawson on my other. He was speechless, his eyes wide and bright as he took in the sight in front of him.
On a clear day like this, the three-hundred-and-sixty-degree view went on as far as the eye could see. It was a celebration of deep blue sky and twinkling turquoise sea contrasted to the browns and oranges of winter on land.
Raeanne snapped a few more pictures, moving to the railing almost as if she was being pulled to it by some invisible force. Lawson and I moved with her but simply took some time to admire the view like she’d said instead of talking.
“I’m going to go check out the shop,” Lawson said eventually, clearly used to his mother taking time once she started taking pictures. “Want to come check it out with me?”
I shook my head. “You go ahead. I’ll wait here with your mom, and we’ll be there soon.”
“I wouldn’t count on it,” Raeanne murmured. “I could spend an eternity up here and not tire of this view.”
I could spend an eternity with you two and not tire of you. I nearly choked on the fucking thought. Where the hell did that come from?
“On the other hand, I read that there’s a playground somewhere around here. We should probably head there next. Lawson might like to play a little before we head home later.”
“It’s a great playground,” I said, distracted by the direction my head kept running these days.
“Is it the one you would take all those kids you’ve never thought of having to when they come?” she teased, still holding her camera up to her ey
e.
My eyes blew wide open, my heart racing before I’d even properly formulated the words I was about to say to her. All I knew was that I suddenly had the unbearable urge to be honest with her about this.
The words were like nothing I ever thought I’d say, but for some reason, I couldn’t keep them in any longer. I blamed Finley. Don’t ask me why, I just do. He keeps pushing me to tell her the truth, and now here it is.
“I never really thought about having children because I’ve never really thought about entering into a serious relationship. I didn’t want one, and I never met anyone to make me question it—until now. Until I met you, Raeanne.”
Chapter 30
Raeanne
Declan’s words while we’d been standing at the top of the lighthouse looking out over one of the most beautiful views I’d ever seen kept playing in my mind. It had felt like something out of a movie scene, so romantic that it had brought tears to my eyes.
Of course, it wasn’t a declaration of his never-dying love for me, but that didn’t matter. It meant more to me than that might have, considering that I’d only known him for a couple of months.
The reason why it meant so much to me was because it had made me realize that I wasn’t alone in this and I wasn’t crazy. It felt like Declan and I were moving toward a relationship because we were, even though we’d never talked about it. Yeah, well, you still haven’t really.
I had expected him to follow his statement up with something concrete, though I didn’t even know if people still asked each other to be their boyfriend or girlfriend at our age. Either way, he hadn’t done it.
The most gorgeous grin I’d ever seen on another person had lifted his lips, and then he’d told me that he’d go see where Lawson was while I finished taking photos. He’d left me reeling, my heart racing and fairy tales I knew better than to believe in playing in my head.
But then I’d reminded myself that I didn’t believe in them. Then I took a few deep breaths and smiled. Even if I didn’t believe in fairy tales, I did believe in having crushes, and I now knew that great sex could happen with a crush.
A crush. That’s all this is. I’d told myself that over and over again, then went to find my boys in the shop at the top. That’s right. For now, Declan is mine.
The thought had sent the most delicious little thrill racing through me, and I was still riding that high. It had been hours, but I still couldn’t stop smiling.
It didn’t hurt that as I stirred the white sauce on the stove, sipping a glass of dealcoholized wine that Declan had brought, he and Lawson were setting the table and chopping ingredients for a salad.
We were making dinner together, and it was the first time that we felt like a family to me. Being together like this, there was something so natural, so right and domestic about it that even I had to remind myself that we weren’t really a family.
An errant but we could be swept through my mind, but I didn’t hang onto it. I was too intent on enjoying what we had right now to worry about the future.
“We should go on the Pirate Ship Adventure next time,” Declan was saying when I reentered the conversation, flipping the chicken strips grilling away on the griddle pan. “You get to dress like a pirate, talk like a pirate, and go treasure hunting. I’ve never done it, but it sounds amazing.”
“That does sound pretty cool,” Lawson said.
Declan scoffed, his eyebrows jumping up. “Pretty cool? Really? Is that the best you can do?”
Lawson laughed and shook his head. “Okay, okay. It would be so much fun. Could we get tattoos?”
“You bet. Every halfway decent pirate has tattoos.” Declan smirked, sneaking a look at me.
Bastard. He knew exactly that my mind had just landed solidly on the ink hidden beneath his clothes. “So long as they can be removed after, I’m okay with you getting a tattoo.”
“Okay fine.” Declan winked at me. “You can come with us. Jeez, you didn’t have to beg.”
There were a dozen retorts on the tip of my tongue, but I held them back because Lawson was in the room. Perhaps later I’d tell him what I really thought of that comment.
“Why thank you. You’re a gentleman and a scholar of this town.” I batted my lashes at him before returning my attention to the food. After I added the chicken, some parmesan, and other bits and pieces into the sauce, I took the pasta off the heat. “Okay, guys. I think we’re just about ready to eat. How’s that salad coming along?”
“It’s just about…” Declan trailed off, then sprinkled tiny cubes of sundried-tomato-dusted croutons over the top of the salad. “Done. Voila. Let’s eat.”
Lawson hopped into his seat while Declan and I dished up, joining him with our food. I slid Lawson’s plate over to him, and he tucked in with gusto. We were quiet while we ate, all ravenous after our busy afternoon in the cold outside.
It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, though. In fact, it felt like the kind of silence that descended over dinner tables of families everywhere when the food was finally served.
I couldn’t help smiling a little as I ate my creamy, delicious pasta and sipped my wine. Declan had stopped to buy all the ingredients for dinner after we left the lighthouse. I’d tried to tell him that it wasn’t necessary, but he wouldn’t hear it.
It had felt a little like the ‘what’s for dinner’ argument I’d heard about so many times but had never been a part of myself. As much as I enjoyed being on my own and knew I didn’t need a man in my life, I kind of wanted this one in it.
Lawson yawned when he was finished eating, rubbing his eyes with his fists. I gave him a pointed look, collecting his plate and Declan’s when he was done too. “I think it’s time for someone to go brush their teeth and get in their pajamas. You can read in bed for a little while if you want.”
To my surprise, Lawson nodded his agreement without even trying to argue about not being tired. “Okay. I’ll come say goodnight when I’m done.”
Declan and I exchanged a look, waiting for Lawson to leave before saying anything. “I’m guessing that doesn’t go quite so smoothly every night?”
I shook my head, my eyes wide. “He must either be trying to impress you, or he’s genuinely exhausted. I think it may be a combination of both.”
Declan smirked. “I’ll be happy to come over every night if it makes bedtime easier for you.”
I laughed and carried our dishes to the sink. “That’s okay. The novelty will wear off soon enough if we do that, and then you might experience an over-tired kid in all his glory. I don’t want to scare you off quite yet.”
“I don’t scare that easy.”
Declan helped me clean up, wiping down the counters and getting the leftovers into containers while I washed the dishes.
“I’m sure I could handle an over-tired kid,” he said.
“Who’s an over-tired kid?” Lawson asked, appearing in the doorway. He was dressed in his pajamas, and his eyes were already puffy. I had a feeling he wouldn’t read more than one page before he was out.
“No one, sweetheart,” I said. “You ready for bed?”
He nodded. “Good night, Declan. Thank you for coming with us today.”
Declan walked over to him and ruffled his hair with one hand while holding the other out for that ridiculous fist bump thing they couldn’t seem to stop doing. “Thank you for letting me join you, buddy. Sleep tight.”
“You too.” Lawson yawned again, looking at me expectantly. I dried my hands on a cloth before going to tuck him in.
As I’d expected, he fell asleep within minutes, and by the time I got back, Declan had finished the dishes and the cleaning. He’d also topped off our wine and stoked a fire in the living room.
He was sitting on the couch, staring into the dancing flames with a peaceful smile on his face. Once again, I was struck by how normal all this felt.
With my heart galloping, I went to sit beside him. He slung his arm around my shoulders, lifting his hand to play with my hair as he turned slightly
to look at me. “That was fast.”
“Yep, I can’t quite believe it.”
“He had a busy day,” Declan said. “Between the lighthouse, the playground, and the walkthrough of Sea Pines, he probably took double the amount of steps we did.”
“It was fun, though. I know he’s already said it, but I want to say it as well. Thank you for coming with us. He really enjoys the time spent with you. If he has to have a male influence in his life, I’m glad you’re it.”
A frown flickered across his forehead. Then he inhaled a deep breath, and his hand in my hair stilled. “You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, but where is his father? Why isn’t he the male influence in Lawson’s life?”
My eyes closed on instinct, but I forced myself to look into Declan’s green ones instead. He was essentially standing in for a man he knew nothing about, and he deserved some answers.
He’d proven time and again that he could be trusted, and he’d been patient enough. Besides, it wasn’t like what happened with Adam was a state secret or anything.
I didn’t have anything to be ashamed of, and so long as I didn’t mention Adam’s name, I wasn’t in breach of that silly contract either.
“Lawson’s father knows about him, but he denounced him the second he found out I was pregnant. Long story short, he comes from a super-rich family who didn’t think I was good enough, and in any event, they didn’t want their golden boy having to ‘throw his bright future away’ because of a teenage mistake.”
To Declan’s credit, he listened without an ounce of judgment ever crossing his expression. I explained the highlights, waiting for some sort of adverse reaction from him. But it never came.
He scooted closer to me and wrapped me up in his arms when I was done, holding on to me like he never wanted to let me go. “God, Raeanne. That’s horrid. I’m so sorry that happened to you, but I’m not sorry they’re not in your life anymore. They sound like awful people, and they don’t deserve you or Lawson.”
I nestled into the crook of his neck, enjoying being enveloped by him and breathing in his masculine scent. The stubble on his chin scraped at my forehead a little, but I didn’t even mind that.
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