“But for today—” he looked from one to the other, including all of them now “—I would appreciate it if you put any other comments or questions on this topic on hold until the drive home.”
And maybe by then he’d be one step closer to having Miss Dalton as his girlfriend again.
Chapter Ten
Paige had borrowed some aprons from the supply that Willa kept for her kindergarten class, and she made sure the boys were washed up and their clothes covered before she let them loose in the kitchen. She’d actually started baking the night before, making a couple dozen gingerbread cookies for Sutter’s nephews to decorate. Those were in a plastic container in the cupboard, in reserve for when the boys got bored or tired of helping.
Robbie was, of course, totally enthused. He was on his knees on a stool at the island, digging a measuring cup into the bag of flour before Paige even had a chance to ask them what they wanted to make first. Jake headed straight for the bowl of minimarshmallows and immediately set about trying to figure out how many of them he could cram into his mouth. When he finally stopped gagging, he was thirsty from all the sugar, so Paige got him a glass of milk. Robbie decided that he needed a drink, too, but he wanted juice.
Ryder declined her offer of milk or juice with a polite, “No, thank you,” then stood in the background, quietly waiting for instructions. She could tell that helping to bake cookies wouldn’t make his top-ten list of favorite things to do—heck, it probably wouldn’t make a list of the top one hundred—but he didn’t protest.
She decided to put Ryder in charge of measuring the liquid ingredients because he was patient and meticulous and less likely to spill anything. Jake was assigned the task of measuring the dry ingredients, and Robbie got to wield the spoon and mix everything together.
“I thought you were going to help with this,” Paige said to Sutter, who seemed content to stand back and watch the sloppily choreographed chaos in the kitchen.
“Absolutely,” he agreed. “But my job doesn’t start until the first batch comes out of the oven.”
“What’s your job?” Jake asked.
“Quality control.”
“What’s that?” Robbie wanted to know.
“It’s a fancy term for someone who eats the cookies under the pretense of testing to see if they taste good,” Paige informed him.
“I wanna be quality control,” Robbie decided.
“Me, too,” Jake agreed.
“Everyone will get to sample the cookies,” she promised. “But we need to make them first.”
* * *
They made a lot of cookies. And when they’d done as much as they could do, Paige got out the gingerbread cookies and various colored icings and decorations. The boys were each given half a dozen gingerbread cookies to decorate however they wanted. Ryder went heavy on the black icing, claiming that he was making ninja gingerbread men. Jake was more interested in eating than decorating. Robbie liked the colored sugars and holiday sprinkles and his philosophy was the more the merrier.
True to his word, Sutter worked quality control, sampling at least one of everything. But Paige didn’t mind, because he didn’t hesitate to lend a hand wherever it was required. He stood at the stove and melted marshmallows for the crisp-rice squares, dutifully chopped pecans for the thumbprint cookies and unwrapped dozens of caramels for the caramel nut bars.
When the boys were finished decorating, Paige gave them each a plate with a couple of cookies and a glass of milk. She didn’t have a video-game system to occupy them, so they settled for watching a movie on television. Actually, Ryder played some game on his father’s old cell phone in front of the television while his younger brothers watched the movie and Paige continued to work.
She still had peanut-butter bars and shortbread and lemon-snowdrop cookies to make, but she was happy with the progress she’d made today. She hadn’t been sure if the extra hands Sutter had offered would be a help or a hindrance, and she suspected they’d been a little of both. But in the end, it didn’t really matter because she’d sincerely enjoyed spending the afternoon with all of them.
Unfortunately, being with Sutter and his nephews made her think about the children she’d thought they would someday have together. She still wanted to get married and have a family, but she’d resigned herself to the fact that it wouldn’t be with Sutter. Until spending time with him had that dream stirring again, and she knew that could be very dangerous. Because five years after Sutter had gone, she knew she still wasn’t over him. She wondered if his coming back now and becoming friends would make it easier or harder for her when he went away again.
She rolled her head, trying to relieve the stiffness in her neck. Sutter settled his hands on her shoulders and began to knead the tight muscles. She moaned in sincere appreciation.
“Feel good?”
“Incredible,” she admitted.
He dipped his head to whisper in her ear. “I could make you feel even better.”
The husky promise in his voice had all her female parts standing at attention, but because she knew there was little chance of him following through, she managed to tease, “Right here and now?”
“Maybe not,” he admitted, and sighed. “Are you ready to take a break?”
“I shouldn’t,” she said. “I still have so much to do.”
“Ten minutes,” he cajoled. “Come and sit down on the couch and watch the movie.”
“Because nothing puts me in the holiday spirit like rampaging dinosaurs,” she said drily.
She walked in at the scene where the brother and sister were hiding in the kitchen. She didn’t particularly like scary movies, and although she agreed that the velociraptors were pretty low on the evil scale in comparison to knife-wielding psychopaths in goalie masks, she gasped out loud when one of the dinosaurs charged at the girl and crashed into a metal cabinet.
Ryder didn’t look up from his screen. Jake glanced back at her and snickered, but Robbie climbed up on the couch beside her and snuggled close. Whether to offer her comfort or be comforted didn’t matter to Paige. Within minutes, he was half-asleep with his head in her lap. She brushed a lock of hair off of his forehead. It was soft and silky, his cheeks were still round, his blue eyes—when they were open—still filled with innocence and wonder. Since the Traub genes weren’t just evident but dominant in each of Dallas’s sons, it was easy enough to imagine that Sutter’s little boy might look very much like the one cuddled up against her. Robbie was fighting sleep, and perilously close to losing the battle until a roar from the screen had his eyes popping wide again. He shifted so that he was sitting up again, and stifled a yawn.
“Do you want me to see if I’ve got any books you might like better than this movie?”
He nodded.
Unfortunately she didn’t really have anything age appropriate for a six-year-old, but she found some paper and crayons and sat him at the island to color while she cut and boxed up her goodies.
He’d drawn a couple of pictures—a boy on a horse, a house with a dad and three boys. But then he seemed to run out of ideas or interest.
“Do you want to do something else?” Paige asked him.
Robbie nodded. “Can you help me write a letter to Santa?”
“Absolutely.” She closed up the box she’d finished packing, then sat down on the stool beside him.
“Dear Santa,” he began, and she dutifully put the pen to fresh sheet of paper.
“I hope you had a good year and have lots of snow at the North Pole. Thanks for the presents you brung last year. I liked the dragon-lair building set best, but the pajamas were okay, too.”
She fought back a smile as she carefully transcribed his words. But her smile faded at what came next, and an uncomfortable premonition filled her heart.
“This year for Christmas, I don’t want any toys. Please bring my mommy home instead.” He looked up when Paige stopped writing, his little brow furrowed. “You hafta write that.”
Instead, she put the pen down
and turned to face him. “I don’t think Santa can bring her back, Robbie,” she said gently.
“Even if I don’t ask for nothin’ else?”
“Unfortunately, only your mommy can decide if she wants to come back. I know you miss her, but—”
“I don’t really miss her,” he interjected, his tone matter-of-fact. “I just thought if she came home, Daddy wouldn’t be sad anymore.”
“How do you know your daddy’s sad?”
“‘Cuz he doesn’t laugh anymore.” He scraped at a drop of dried icing with his fingernail. “If Santa can’t bring my mommy home, can he bring me a new mommy?”
“I think Santa’s more accustomed to filling his sleigh with toys,” she told him. “And the elves count on little boys and girls wanting toys, because it’s their job to make them.”
Robbie sighed. “Then I guess I wouldn’t mind a deluxe neon alien-invasion spaceship.”
* * *
After the movie was finished, Sutter packed up the boys—and the cookies that Paige insisted on sending home with them—and drove back to the Triple T. He considered returning to town, but he didn’t want to push for too much too soon. He was confident that they would get to where he wanted to go. He just needed to be patient.
On the bright side, Sutter figured he was conserving electricity taking so many cold showers. In fact, he was just out of the shower, lounging on the couch with his feet up and a cold beer in his hand, when Dallas came in.
He gestured to the bottle his brother was holding. “Got another one of those?” he asked.
“Got several,” Sutter told him. “Help yourself.”
Dallas did, and settled into an oversize chair, his feet stretched out in front of him.
“The boys settled in for the night?”
“Just,” Dallas told him. “They were so pumped up on sugar, I didn’t think they were ever going to fall asleep.”
Sutter lifted his bottle to his lips, drank deeply. “I suppose that’s my fault?”
His brother just shrugged.
“They had a good time today, and if they were a little hyper when they got home, well, they’re boys.”
“That’s what Mom said,” Dallas admitted.
“You called in the cavalry?”
“She invited us up to the house for dinner.”
As he knew she did every night. Ellie loved to cook for her sons and grandsons, and Sutter didn’t blame his brother for taking her up on the offer. After working on the ranch all day, Sutter had enough trouble figuring out what he wanted to eat, never mind trying to feed three hungry—and picky—boys.
“What was for dinner?”
“Pork chops, scalloped potatoes, corn and mac and cheese.”
Sutter’s stomach growled.
“You could have come for dinner, too,” Dallas told him. “I know Mom invited you.”
And Sutter had declined, as he did almost every day. The one exception was Sunday lunch, when he knew there would be enough family members around the table to defuse the awkwardness. “She did. I already had other plans.”
“With Paige?”
“With one of those handy microwavable trays that provides a complete meal, including dessert, in only a few minutes.”
His brother wasn’t sidetracked by his response. “It seems like you’ve picked back up with Paige Dalton again.”
“Why does it sound as if you disapprove?”
Dallas shrugged. “It’s not my place to approve or disapprove—I’m just concerned that you don’t realize you’re wasting your time with her.”
Sutter was more intrigued than annoyed by the statement. “How do you figure?”
“Because you keep telling everyone your life is in Seattle, and Paige is no more likely to leave Rust Creek Falls now than she was five years ago.”
“A lot can change in five years,” he told his brother.
Dallas was silent for a long minute before he finally said, “A lot can change in one year—and not always for the better.”
“Paige isn’t Laurel,” Sutter pointed out.
“You’re right—Laurel actually said yes when I asked her to marry me, and look how well that turned out.”
Sutter frowned, not just at the bitterness in his brother’s tone but at the blunt reminder that he’d proposed to Paige before he’d left town—and she’d turned him down. And yeah, that rejection had torn him apart at the time, but with some space and distance, he understood why she’d said no—and why it had probably been the right answer at that time.
Now, five years later, he hoped they would get to the point where he could ask the question again—and get a different answer this time. Because the more time he spent with Paige, the more time he wanted to spend with her. He wanted a life with her, a future, a family.
Watching her with his nephews today, he’d been more convinced than ever that she would be a fabulous mother. She hadn’t been fazed by Robbie’s exuberance, she hadn’t flinched when Jake dropped a carton of eggs on the floor and she’d actually managed to tease a couple of smiles out of Ryder.
She’d been patient and attentive, and when she looked at him over a tray of unbaked and slightly mangled sugar cookies and smiled, he realized that he’d never fallen in love with another woman because he was still in love with Paige. And he didn’t think it was too much of a stretch that she might still be in love with him, too.
Of course, she’d claimed to be in love with him five years ago, and—as Dallas had so kindly reminded him—she’d still turned down his proposal. She’d loved him then, but not enough to go to Seattle with him. And if she did still love him now, did she love him enough to give him a second chance? Did she love him enough to want a life with him, even if that life was outside of Rust Creek Falls?
“It’s nothing against Paige personally,” Dallas said now. “I just don’t want you going through what I went through, and I can see you’re heading in that direction.”
“How do you figure?” Sutter challenged.
“You were high school sweethearts—just like me and Laurel. Everyone assumed you would get married someday—just like me and Laurel. And when you proposed, you found out that you wanted to get married and she didn’t.”
“She never said she didn’t want to marry me, she just didn’t want to get married at that time and under those circumstances.”
“The result was the same.”
Sutter tried not to let his brother’s comment rankle. He knew that Dallas was still smarting over his recent divorce and struggling to balance his responsibilities at the ranch with the demands of three young sons.
“Well, she didn’t marry anyone else while I was gone,” Sutter noted.
“Are you thinking she’s changed her mind and will want to marry you now?” Dallas asked skeptically.
“I’m trying not to think too much and just enjoy the time we’re spending together.”
His brother shrugged and pushed himself to his feet. “Your time to waste,” he decided, and dropped his empty beer bottle on the end table. “Since I can’t find enough hours in a day, I better go. Thanks for taking the kids. And for the cookies.”
“You should thank Paige for the cookies,” Sutter pointed out.
“Yeah,” his brother agreed, but they both knew he probably wouldn’t go out of his way to do so.
The door closed behind Dallas, leaving Sutter alone with his thoughts again. He wondered about his brother’s warnings, but he wasn’t going to let Dallas’s sour attitude dissuade him. Instead, he found himself thinking about Reese’s unexpected phone call from earlier that day.
Sutter was in regular contact with his stable manager. In fact, he would guess that they probably exchanged no less than half a dozen text messages or emails on a daily basis. Which was why he’d been surprised to hear Reese’s voice on the phone. The personal communication suggested to Sutter that there was more on his stable manager’s mind than Doug Barclay’s horse or Collin’s saddles.
He felt a little guilty
that he wasn’t in Seattle to help with whatever Reese needed—but not guilty enough to be willing to leave Rust Creek Falls right now when he was finally making some progress with Paige. Not as much progress as he’d like, of course, considering his extremely high level of sexual frustration, but he was confident about the direction in which things were moving. And the kisses they’d shared reassured him that what he was feeling wasn’t entirely one-sided.
But as much as he wanted Paige in his bed, he wanted more than just sex. He wanted a life with her. A future. A family. Unfortunately, there were still a lot of barriers to getting what he wanted. Even if Paige still loved him as much as he loved her, would that love be enough? It certainly didn’t solve the problem of geography, and the more than five hundred miles that separated Rust Creek Falls from Seattle would definitely put the “long distance” in the relationship.
What he wanted—what he’d always wanted—was for Paige to choose to go to Seattle with him. But was it fair to expect her to leave her family, her friends and a job she obviously loved in order to start all over again in another city just to be with him? Maybe not, but he figured if she really loved him, she would be willing to do it.
With his brother’s words echoing in the back of his mind, he accepted that even if she’d loved him five years ago, she hadn’t loved him enough to make that choice. Was it foolish to hope that this time she might decide differently? That she might love him enough to give up her home and her job to build a new life with him?
And if he loved her enough, wouldn’t he be willing to do the same?
He scowled at the idea of walking away from everything he’d built in Seattle. But the prospect of walking away from Paige was even more unthinkable.
Which meant that he had to figure out another option.
He picked up the phone and called Reese.
Chapter Eleven
Paige did some more baking after Sutter and the boys left, and when she finally fell into bed later that night, she was exhausted. And still she couldn’t sleep. Despite the weariness of her body, her mind refused to stop churning. Because at some point between the crisp-rice squares and the caramel bars, she’d realized that she was still in love with Sutter.
A Maverick Under The Mistletoe Page 12
