by David McGhee
Chapter 12: Now what do I do?
Josh had changed into his normal attire and had been put on a bus to go across the street to the probation office on Colfax. As he rode in the hot muggy vehicle he was still thinking about his withdrawal symptoms. They hadn't fully gone away yet.
I'll just use a few times to get through it... he thought to himself. It was the plan and he hoped he could stick with it.
When he got to the probation office he was led out and then led into a security check point where he had to remove his jacket and belt and put them into the scanner. He passed the metal detector with no problem and walked to the end of the conveyor belt to pick up his stuff. Then the guard who escorted him in gave him a baggie with his personal effects in it. Then he was led to an elevator and told to go to the fifth floor to check in. If he didn't there would be a warrant out for his arrest within twenty four hours.
They gave him the last dose he would ever get again that morning. He felt even fuzzier than he did when he first started the medication. There was a feeling that he might faint from standing up but he fought hard against it. The interior of the elevator was beginning to glow white. Josh almost felt as if he were tripping on the shiny metal walls around him.
He looked up at the floor numbers on top of the doors displayed in bright red LED lights. They were moving too fast for him and his stomach started to get queasy. Knowing full and well that he should get off on the fifth floor he waited for the numbers to signal his stop. It passed the fifth floor and went to the sixth. Then the seventh. He shut his eyes hard and when he opened them up he wasn't in the elevator anymore but back in his cell.
The man who was his roommate had been replaced by Jose. He was lying on the bottom bunk, fully awake, and smiling up at Josh. Could this be happening? he thought to himself. Jose got up and put his hands in his pocket. His dark green jail attire had morphed into his street clothes. At least he thought so. He wasn't so sure he was even wearing the greens at all now.
Jose sat up and patted the mat beside him where he sat. He was still smiling but it seemed to grow beyond his face like a demented Cheshire cat. His teeth were white and Josh couldn't remember if they ever were, he could of swore that they were yellow. Josh sat down beside him and Jose produced a needle out of nowhere. Josh took it and examined it for the longest time.
"He's breathing." a loud voice said from beyond the room. Josh wasn't sure who it was or why it was reverberating around the concrete walls so damn loudly. He looked back down in his hand and the needle was gone. He looked around and saw that Jose had vanished from his side.
The door opened. Josh instinctively got up and walked out of the cell. He saw the same black guard the day before but his face was featureless.
"Do you want some breakfast?" The officer's voice was so muffled that Josh couldn't really make too much out of what he was saying. Josh shook his head and walked down the metal stairs. He went to the exact same table he had sat at before and laid his head down.
His eyes opened and he saw a man's face above him. He was lying down, was this part of the dream too? Was he dreaming? What was going on?
"You hit your head pretty hard man." The man told him. Josh could barely make out what he was wearing. Everything had that same sickening white aura around it all. Josh felt a needle prick in his arm and somebody to the side of his said "I've got it!"
"You're going to be alright." The man said. Before Josh could ask what he meant by it he was in the courtroom again. Everything and everyone was going in fast motion. He felt like he was the only thing in the room going at normal speed. It made him sick.
Max sat down next to him and introduced himself. Josh told him that he already knew his name. With a blink he was back in his jail cell. He was lying on the floor and he had a pain in his arm. He could feel something warm dripping down it and he looked over to his right arm and saw that there was a needle stuck to a part of it that he knew wasn't a vein. Had he done this? He didn't feel high at all.
"Josh, are you OK?" Josh could faintly hear Malcolm's voice. He tried to respond but felt stuck to the floor as if gravity had a tremendous hold on him. As if he was being held down. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again he was staring up at Malcolm. Only he was shirtless and very, very skinny. Josh wanted to ask him how he got so emaciated but he couldn't speak. Malcolm took out a needle from nowhere and it was filled with a clear liquid.
"I'm going to give you some morphine for your head, OK?" Malcolm's lips moved but it was not his voice. It was the man's from earlier and it was gravely like his throat had a pound of sand running through it.
Josh took a deep breath and felt his head rush as if he had taken some heroin. When he was able to get back to what he was seeing he saw Malcolm stand up. Damn he's tall, he thought. Malcolm went for his belt and undid it. When his pants dropped he had the bottom half of a very familiar girl he knew. Josh admired it for a second then looked up again. Instead of seeing Malcolm's upper half he saw the rest of Cindy. Josh got an immediate hard on and was able to sit up again. When he looked back down at himself he saw that he had on no clothes. His penis felt like something hard was in the urethra. Like a long stick.
Cindy laughed and walked away. Again he was in his cell and he had on the greens. Josh started to feel very sick and could feel himself starting to heave. He gagged a few times and felt his body being pushed onto his side. He threw up shortly after and realized that he wasn't in his cell any more. He was on a hospital bed and had just thrown up on the floor. He felt dazed and very sick. When he went to lie on his back again he felt that same rod feeling thing in his penis and it hurt, but it also felt sort of good too. Josh had the feeling that he was urinating on himself for some reason.
The room wasn't a room at all that he could see. The partitions were bright blue curtains and when he looked over to his left he saw Malcolm standing over him, his hands on Josh's shoulder.
"I didn't want you to choke on your vomit." Malcolm said in a small scared voice. "So I turned you on your side and lifted your head. I'm sure someone will clean it up."
Weakly Josh asked "Where am I?"
Malcolm smiled. "Denver Health emergency room." His hand caressed Josh's forehead. Josh wanted him to take his fagot hand off of him but was too weak to take any action.
"Could you not touch me please?" Josh croaked. Malcolm withdrew his hand and sat in a chair next to the gurney. Josh looked back straight above him and was mesmerized by the fluorescent lights above him. "What happened?"
Malcolm sighed. "You passed out in the elevator. The door opened on the fifth floor where I was waiting for you and I saw that you had collapsed. I got you help as fast as I could."
Josh winced at a throbbing in his head. "My head hurts."
"Yeah." Malcolm stated. "You hit it pretty hard. The doctor was afraid that you had a concussion but the x-ray showed no signs of one. That's when you got some morphine you lucky bastard you!" Malcolm nudged Josh's arm but got no response from him.
"Why does my dick hurt?" Josh immediately hated himself for asking.
"Well..." Malcolm started. "They put a catheter in you. They had to do a urine analysis on you and couldn't very well get you to go for them while unconscious now could they?"
"Is it still necessary? Could you get someone to take it out?" Josh thought for a split second about it. "A girl." He smiled for the first time since coming too. Malcolm returned it and stood up. He winked at Josh, who winced, and left through the bright blue curtains.
Josh lifted up his sterile white blanket and sighed. He saw that he still had an erection and it hurt him because the catheter was rubbing in it dryly. He wished he could turn it off with a snap of his fingers. He wasn't too big, not small but average by most standards, so it didn't pitch that bad of a tent on his blanket. It somewhat blended in with the folds of the over lying sheets on top of him. He sighed and put down the blanket.
Malcolm came back in and smiled. "They said they'd do it as soon as possible." Then hi
s demeanor changed a little, only a slight smirk remained. "But they say it’s their policy that a male does it. I think it's something to do with sexual liability or something stupid like that."
Josh groaned. "This is just perfect... I lose my place to live AND some other dude gets to see my junk!"
Malcolm sat back down on the stool. "You need a place to stay? I told you before that I'm looking for a roommate."
Josh really didn't want to hear this from Malcolm but he thought to himself that his options were now limited as far as time was concerned. "I don't know..." He replied. Malcolm grinned and shook his head.
"I still have those kittens!" Malcolm proudly exclaimed. "Still haven't been able to find suitable homes for them yet."
Josh smiled just a little and turned his head to the side, facing Malcolm. "Cool, I guess." With a long sigh Josh turned back to look at the ceiling above him.
"You don't have to pay rent for the first month." Malcolm sighed with an air of resignation. "You probably lost your job right?"
"It's either I say I was a no call, no show or I tell them the truth..." Josh turned back over to look at Malcolm. "I can't tell them what happened, it would ruin my reference when I try to get another job." Josh almost felt like crying but did his best to keep a stoic composure.
"It's going to be alright man. Do you think Garrick kept your things?"
"I don't know. Him being a drunk I doubt he's had the time to throw anything of mine away."
"Well, my ex-roommate left his bed and stuff behind when he moved out."
"Why?"
"I didn't ask. He just up and left."
"Oh..."
A male nurse in blue scrubs came through the partition holding a thick needleless syringe in his hand. He was tall with black hair and slight facial fuzz on his chin. Malcolm wished he had been able to grow face hair during his life time. He was still able to grow his own hair but that's just because he was still growing body hair when he was alive. Being the undead sort of put a stop to all other growth at the time of death. He looked down at his longish fingernails and started to bite on his thumb, spitting out the discard onto the hospital floor.
The nurse smiled. "I'm gonna take that catheter out of you buddy."
Josh winced, he turned to Malcolm. "Could you leave us alone for a minute dude?"
Malcolm nodded and got up to leave, he secretly wanted to know what little old Josh was packing but thought better of it. He was about to get him to move in with him. He could see it on nature's own time.
The nurse advanced onto Josh and lifted his hospital sheets and gown. Josh still had an erection and his whole body went cold at the thought of the man seeing him like this.
"Happy to see me?" The nurse laughed.
"Fagot..." Josh uttered as he shut his eyes hard and waited for the relief that would soon come to him.
