by David McGhee
Chapter 15: The Lion, the Witch, and the soon to be Dead Fucking Girl who fucked the son of a bitch and allowed him to fucking do drugs!
Josh had been able to milk his time with Cindy into lasting a little longer by asking her to help him get some groceries, knowing full and well that Malcolm kept a stocked kitchen. He felt like she was going to abandon him soon. People always did. Instead of Garrick working with him and trying to endorse him getting help for his problems he just tossed him away like a holey sock filled with dog shit. His father never really cared for him other than that he bought a minimal amount of food, just enough to get the social workers off his back. Or his mother who let him beat and degrade him and his brother all those years. He had not even talked to his father since leaving their place in Lakewood. And even though it should of been a happy occasion, it still was tinged with the feeling that he was never going to get the chance to be loved.
Like most men, he equated sex with connectedness. To him the act of making love was something to do often because it involved unashamed embrace and brought happiness (supposedly) to both people involved. The fact that Cindy couldn't see that was something he struggled with. He was too macho to ever admit something so personal, if for anything he feared her branding him a wimp and dumping him like so many before her. He prayed to God that he'd find somebody whom he could really be with, not just in the biblical sense but somebody who could understand and love him without being overbearing or expecting him to be a person he was not.
As they walked the aisles of King Soopers he kept his head low and his shoulders slouched. She did not seem to notice that he was sad and this made him a little angry. He needed her to be there for him and yet she was totally unaware of his mood. At least that's how he felt.
He had asked Cindy to pick out some healthy stuff along with any kinds of chips she'd recommend. It was his effort to let her feel like her opinion counted but he suspected that maybe she was a little perturbed by him being needy.
That's not how a man should be... He felt that he should be buying her stuff. He cursed himself for wasting so much money on those damn drugs he bought earlier that morning. Looking up at her he tried to smile but it went unnoticed, as Cindy was either looking straight ahead or at some God awful piece of junk that he'd have to say he liked. In truth he was very much a junk food guy. All this whole grain and green shit made him feel nauseas.
Remember... He thought to himself, that when you get sick from eating this stuff then it's your body's way of purifying you. He really wanted to believe this but the sight of beets made his stomach do a back flip into an unsuspecting pregnant mother, miscarrying her child as a result.
"Do you like Pringles?" Cindy asked as they walked through the chip section.
"Yeah, I guess..." Josh said looking away over towards the hot and spicy Cheetos. He wanted badly to grab a bag but he had to consider who was paying right then.
"They're good for you, especially the whole grain ones."
"Yum!" Josh couldn't keep his sarcasm to himself and Cindy stopped where she was walking. Josh noticed this too and looked down into her disappointed face. "I'm sorry... I'm just in a bad space, you know?" He put his hands in his pockets and continued looking down at the hard tiled floor.
Cindy sighed. "Yeah I know." She took his big feminine hand and guided him through the rest of the store. She did not let go until they had reached the checkout counter. A tall heavy set man was the cashier and noted how they look like a sweet couple. Josh did not reply but Cindy told him 'thank you'.
Josh allowed himself to be led out of the grocery store. His mood had dampened considerably and Cindy thought for the longest time about what to do or say to him. Nothing she could think of that would make him even a little happier came to mind. As they reached the car she let go of Josh's hand and walked to her car door. A dinky old little blue Pinto. She called it Cujo after the name of that dog in that Stephen King book. The lead character, Donna, had a blue pinto. She let out a small laugh and put the grocery bag in the back seat.
Pringles (whole grain), some beats (bright red, indicating good taste), some carrots, whole grain flax bread, deli smoked turkey, some pepper jack cheese (deli also), and a few health shakes, the kind that were meal replacements. She would have stayed and gotten more but in his current state, all she wanted to do was get him home.
She looked back and saw Josh still standing where she had left him, his shoulders slumped and staring at the pavement beneath him.
She frowned. "Josh..." She said. "Josh would you come to the car now, Josh?"
Josh looked up and it was apparent that he had been crying. She was not sure what the next course of action should be so she went up to him and hugged his chest. He did not make a move to hug her back. She could feel him breathing in and out deeply. Her fingers traced the arch in his lower back and went lower down to his buttocks.
"We could go somewhere private; maybe have a little fun in the back seat?" Cindy offered. He shook his head and broke free from her embrace. Josh walked slowly over to the passenger side door and got in. Cindy could not believe that he would pass up sex. She wondered if this was the beginning of the end for them. Was it the beginning of the end for him? she thought.
She got in and buckled her seat belt. Josh made no such attempt but she did not press the matter. After a few moments of silence she started the car. As if by some wonderful idea, Josh buckled his seat belt and looked over at her. He still had tears running down his pale, thin cheeks, but he smiled nonetheless. She smiled back too but knew that he was just acting happy. His eyes betrayed his smile and it made her feel hollow inside.
"Do you need anything from me?" Cindy asked softly.
Josh looked at the parking lot beyond the front windshield. "No. Just take me home."
Cindy put the car into drive and asked "Could I meet your new roommate?"
Josh lay his head down against his window. "I guess..."
Malcolm was debating on whether or not to take a shower when he heard the knock at the door. He hadn't the slightest clue as to who it could be before a few moments of thought made him think that it could be Josh. He got up from the futon and walked over to the door. He looked into the eye hole and saw Josh with some blond haired girl standing beside him.
He opened the door and smiled. "I was worried about you man!" But then Malcolm saw Josh's red, pinned eyes. His heart immediately sunk and he stepped away from the door, looking past his living room as if he was searching for something deeper beyond the walls. Josh walked in and immediately went for Harold's old room. He shut the door and locked it.
"I'm sorry." Cindy began. "I don't know what got into him..." She then asked if she could come in. Malcolm wanted nothing more. She walked into the living room with the bag in her right hand and Malcolm shut the front door. He slowly made his way to her and she couldn't help but be a little intimidated by his stature.
Malcolm was now a few inches closer to her and looked down with malevolent eyes. She did not know what this meant.
Finally he asked "Do you want something to drink? A beer perhaps?"
She did not want to get drunk but she did want to talk to him about Josh. "Sure. Just one though, I'm driving." Her words were soft and vacant. Malcolm went to his refrigerator and took out two beers. He wished he had something to spike it with to make what he had to do next a little easier on them both. He could handle it though.
Malcolm walked over the dining room table and placed the beers on it. Then he walked over to where Cindy stood motionless and circled her. She followed his gaze and grew worried about her safety.
"I think I should leave actually." She said in a small voice.
"I think you let him do it again." Malcolm accused. Before she could ask what he meant he stepped in back of her and put one hand on her mouth and the other arm around her chest, blocking her arms from moving. Before he had the chance to think it through, his impulsiveness won over. His face made a beeline for her neck and immediately found the jug
ular. He had to crouch a little for a better grasp and she fought him, how she fought him... But he was strong and kept her under control while he drank from the bite wound.
Not a single drop should be wasted, he thought to himself as she whimpered through the slats through his long fingers. Little by little he could feel her relax and he guided her down to the floor, never once taking his hands off of her nor his mouth off her neck. He could feel tears wet his fingers and for a moment he felt as if he should stop. But once he had started he had to finish. Her blood was too good to not drink. She must be a health food kind of girl. She had apples this morning, maybe some oatmeal.
Little by little he felt her pulse slow until finally, it stopped. He kept on sucking though in case there was a little heartbeat he couldn't detect and that would mean the jugular would keep pumping, ruining his carpeting.
When he could taste no more of her blood coming out he let her go, stood up above her and wanted to spit on her backside, but he refrained. He didn't want to get any on the floor. He turned toward the hallway and went for Harold's room.
"Josh?" He said as he knocked on the door with his knuckles. "Josh come out. I want to talk to you."
"I don't want to talk right now!" Josh said from behind the door. He sounded like he was crying or something. Malcolm's first thoughts were that he was using again. Malcolm knocked again, this time hard enough to shake the door in it's frame.
"Josh! Come out right now!"
"No! Go away!" Malcolm felt his red hot temper boiling his cold blood. He backed away a little and rammed the door, breaking it in on the first try. To his surprise Josh wasn't sticking a needle in his arm but he was laying on the bed crying into Harold's old pillow. Josh looked up at him in horror and scooted a little toward the back of the left side of the bed. Malcolm felt a wave of sadness wash over him. But he immediately thought of what he could do.
Malcolm walked slowly over to where Josh was lying.
"Why is there red on your lips?" Josh's voice quivered. Malcolm did not reply. He sat on the bed next to where Josh was and put his hand on Josh's fading blue hair.
"I'm sorry..." Malcolm said and then his hands made their way toward Josh's chest. He grabbed him and was surprised that he did not fight him. Malcolm pulled him to his chest and cradled Josh in his arms. Malcolm's eyes began to water when his mouth planted itself onto Josh's thin neck, one almost too small for his head, and he sank his teeth into his jugular.
Josh did not scream like so many others had.
Josh did not cry out in pain.
Instead he just shivered and moaned sadly, as if he were accepting his fate. Malcolm could feel his tears fall to the back of his black t-shirt. Josh wrapped his arms around Malcolm and held tight. Malcolm had started crying too but did not let go. Josh's heartbeat slowed and was in threat of stopping. Malcolm's mouth let go and he put his big right hand over the wound. When he pulled back he saw Josh's face, it was blue and he was shaking from the loss of blood. Malcolm fished out a lighter from his pocket with his free hand and put it over the bite holes. When he let go of the neck blood streamed down and onto Josh's body. He went limp and Malcolm held him up straight. He used the lighter to quickly cauterize the bite and was mildly successful. They closed up but there was still a little blood dripping from him.
"Ugh..." Josh gargled weakly.
"I'm sorry." Malcolm started. "But this is the only way I know how to protect you from yourself." He let go of Josh's body and he fell back onto the bed. Malcolm put his head to the back of Josh's chest and heard him breathing slightly. He hoped that he hadn't gone too far with this. He didn't mean to kill the poor guy, just incapacitate him.
Soon after Josh had passed out Malcolm stayed by his side, watching him breathe and hoping that he wouldn't die.
After a few hours Roger came by and haggled his way into three of the kittens. To Malcolm he looked like an overgrown bearded hippie. But he let go of his prejudices and agreed to give them to him. He was surprised how much he had grown attached to the little things. He said his goodbyes and then they were gone. Leaving behind two kittens: Fido, and an unnamed one that Malcolm was hoping to give away. Although he was now thinking that it could go to Josh. That is, if he could conform.
In hopes to make the two into best buds he picked up the unnamed black kitten and carried it to Josh's room. He was now lying on his side and his eyes were barely open. His skin tone was bluish pale, but he seemed to be recovering somewhat.
"I brought you a kitten!" Malcolm said excitedly.
Josh grunted and shifted slightly in the bed, as if he were too weak to do much else.
"What are you?" Josh said in a hoarse whisper.
"Oh." Malcolm said nonchalantly. "I guess you can call me a vampire. But in all honesty I don't like that term. It's just the one that has the closest fit to what I really am."
Josh tried to snort but he was too weak and in too much bodily pain. "Vampires aren't real..."
Malcolm smiled and sat on the bed by Josh. "Not in the sense that you may know, no. But we are around, we just don't adhere to the mythology."
"I'm going to stick a crucifix up your ass..."
Malcolm laughed. "I'm an atheist man. Besides, you do that and I'll rip you cute little head off!" He ruffed Josh's hair in an attempt at good humor. Then his face grew concerned. "Are you in any pain?"
Josh grunted and shifted a little more. "Yes... Why are you trying to kill me?"
Malcolm put the kitten down on the bed and laid his hand on Josh's forehead. He was cold to the touch, but in fairness Josh felt the same way about his hand. "I'm not trying to kill you. I'm trying to save you. Do you know what you are doing to your life? What the people in your life are doing to you?"
"I want to see Cindy..."
"I had to kill her." Malcolm said matter of factly. "She was most likely endorsing you to do that heroin shit."
Josh's eyes moved up towards Malcolm and started to water. He wanted to cry but he was too weak to do so. The tears rolled down the side of his face and he wished he was strong enough to wipe them away. He had never been the kind of guy who would cry in front of another male respectively.
Malcolm took his hand off of Josh's head and picked up the kitten again, then he placed it in front of Josh's face. The kitten began to promptly lick the wetness off of his cheeks.
"Did you know that cats cannot taste sweets?" Malcolm said, trying to make conversation. "They are virtually unimpressed by cupcakes!" He laughed but Josh's demeanor remained frozen in a constant sad state.
"Are you going to kill me now?" Josh whimpered.
Malcolm put his hand back on his hand and rubbed it gently. "No. At least not if you decide that your life is worth living again."
The tears in Josh's eyes were heavy and staining the bed sheet fiercely. "I don't want to be in this much pain anymore... I just want to go. Maybe if I've been somewhat decent I'll go to heaven with Cindy..."
Malcolm said nothing about him not believing in heaven. He gave Josh all the comforting he could without speaking.
"I'll always be a junky." Josh cried. "I'll always be a fuck up..."
Malcolm sighed. "No you won't. You will get through this. In fact I could even give you this apartment. Maybe pay a few months rent. I'll leave and you can find another roommate and start your life all over." He meant this too. At this point he loved Josh so much that he was willing to let him go.
Josh rolled weakly onto his back. "Could you get me a glass of water?"
Malcolm smiled and got up to get him what he wanted. When he returned he placed it on the nightstand beside the bed. "Here you go buddy."
"Could you let me sleep?" Josh asked.
Malcolm didn't like the idea of letting him be alone after so much blood loss, but then again if he had gone too far then what would he tell the authorities? If he was going to die then he was going to die. Malcolm bent down and kissed his forehead. It had not gotten any warmer since the last time he felt it. He got up and went for the
door. When he looked back for the last time Josh's eyes were closed.
With great guilt Malcolm closed the door.
