by Jess Dee
Dedication
With thanks to Fedora, Dawn and Kitty Kelly, for your thoughts and opinions when I needed them most.
And as ever, my special thanks to Jennifer for your tireless ability to read and reread this book and make it better every time. Without a doubt, you’ve added a whole rainbow of color to the story.
Chapter One
To have it all you’ll need to wait
Until the day that seals your fate
While dreaming big may be your trait
Others may not share your faith.
When all is different then you’ll see
Just how strong your hearts can be
Though his love appears empty
She’ll change it all with colors plenty.
-Edna Pace’s Song for Seth
“One more day,” Kaz Flaherty said into the phone. “Just one more, and then we finally get to see Speed live in concert!”
“I can’t wait. I swear I’ve been marking off the days on my calendar.” Her friend, Tasha, laughed in delight. “And I caved in this morning. I downloaded three more of their songs. Honestly, Kaz, I can’t stop. I can’t get enough of their music.”
“Me neither. And, uh, you’re not the only one who caved. I bought ‘Thunder ’n Rain’ yesterday.”
“How brilliant is that song?”
“Unbelievably brilliant.”
“Their best to date. For sure.” Tasha chuckled again. “Listen to us. We’re like a couple of teenage girls, mooning over famous rock stars.”
“I feel like a teenager. My stomach’s full of butterflies at the very thought of seeing Jordan Speed live.”
It took Tasha a few seconds before she responded, and when she did her voice had taken on a more serious tone. “You sure it’s Jordan Speed making your stomach flutter?”
“Well, I’ll tell you something, Jamie Speed has never rocked my boat, and neither has Jonah. Although I’d kill for a hug from the guy. You get a look at those shoulders of his?”
“Kaz?”
“Yep?”
“You’re changing the subject.”
“You’re right. I should just focus on Jordan. Even though he’s a good few years younger than me, he’s the real reason I’m going to the concert—”
“Kaz!”
Kaz grinned. “Okay, so I’m changing the subject.”
“Are you standing by your window?”
“Yep.” She had been ever since arriving home about thirty minutes ago.
“The trees still talking to you?”
Kaz snorted. “You know, if anyone could hear that question they’d think I was mad. They’d think you were mad too, for asking. Trees don’t talk.”
“You’re avoiding the answer,” Tasha chastised.
Kaz stared at the branches swaying gracefully in the breeze, their leaves rippling together in a slow celebration of nature. “Yeah, the trees are still talking to me.” Even as she watched, they silently conveyed their message, sending pulses of color her way. Rich vibrations of carmine red.
She’d chosen to live here because of the forest bordering the property. The second she’d seen the house, she’d known it was perfect for her. Trees had always helped her feel connected to the earth, always given her a sense of balance in life. She found their green and yellow auras as comforting as others might find a hug from a mother. Here at home, with the trees her constant companions, she felt utterly at peace with herself and her life.
For the last few days, however, the golden glows of the flora had been eclipsed by the red hues. Not threatening hues, not even worrying. Just different from what she was used to.
“You figured out what they’re trying to say?” Tasha asked.
“Nope. And I’ve stopped trying. I’ve just accepted the inevitable.”
“And that is?”
“Change is coming, Tash.”
“Coming?” Tasha gave a half laugh. “You mean the last month of your life hasn’t seen enough change already?”
Kaz shook her head, even though Tasha couldn’t see her. “That change has already happened.” She’d called off a three-year-long relationship that just hadn’t been working for her and quit a job she’d hated. “This one hasn’t occurred yet.”
“So there’s more upheaval on your horizon?”
“There’s upheaval on the horizon, all right,” Kaz answered. “I’m just not sure it’s my horizon that’s going to be affected.”
Seth Pace’s stomach curled in a delicious knot of anticipation. He settled back into the couch, stretched out his legs and crossed his feet, making himself comfortable. Watching Luke Struthers in action turned him on in ways a man should not get turned on while sitting in a room full of people. But he couldn’t help it. When Luke went into professional mode, he commanded an audience. Made people want to listen, want to do whatever he said. The man just had a way about him, and that way was a powerful aphrodisiac to Seth.
Wasn’t any wonder he’d taken one look at Luke all those years ago and known he was the one. Now it was just a matter of getting Luke to accept the inevitable. For a while now Luke had been pretty accepting of part of it. The part that involved long nights and sweaty bodies. What he hadn’t come to terms with was the forever kind of scenario Seth had long dreamed about.
Never mind, that would all change. Soon.
Because Seth was tired of waiting. It was time to show Luke that when Seth dreamed, he dreamed big. And nothing, not even a lifetime of Luke believing he’d never settle down, would interfere with Seth’s dreams now. It might take a while to convince him, but one thing Seth had was time. And he intended to use it to the best of his abilities.
Luke needed to look away. Needed to drag his gaze from the couch and stare anywhere but at that face.
Easier said than done. That face trapped his attention and reeled him in. Held him transfixed—almost to the exclusion of everyone else in the room.
He was stronger than this. He could ignore the attraction that crackled between them, ignore the electricity that snapped across the room, shocking everything in its path.
Yeah, right. He never had been able to ignore anything about Seth Pace, and that was the start, middle and end to every single one of his current problems.
Perhaps it was the eyes that held his focus. The slumberous, sexy appeal of them. While Seth appeared to be half asleep, Luke couldn’t miss the way Seth looked up at him with eyelids at half-mast, those baby blues of his just peeking out from beneath a wealth of thick lashes, the invitation in them clear as day.
Or perhaps it was the fact that for the last five years, since Seth had turned eighteen, Luke had found himself unable to keep his hands off him. The kid had become something of a habit for Luke. More like an addiction, really. But Luke had to kick the habit, break the addiction—for Seth’s sake.
Or more specifically, for Seth’s safety.
Luke forced his thoughts back to the other people strewn across the hotel suite. Lingering jetlag, coupled with an intense five-hour practice session, had left most of the members of Speed bleary eyed. The internationally acclaimed rock sensations were exhausted.
Luke grinned, knowing the information he was about to hand them would deliver a good boost of adrenaline. “And in headline news back in the good old US of A…Nielsen data has rated ‘Thunder ’n Rain’ the most played song in America—again. It’s just spent a third week at number one of the Billboard Top 100.”
Wild hooting and high-fives followed Luke’s announcement. Seth’s sleepy smile turned into a full-blown grin. The song was Seth’s baby, from start to finish. Not only had he worked on the lyrics, but he’d written the music for it too—a job he usually left to his brother, Zachary.
Seth’s grin was directed at Luke, and Luke couldn’t he
lp but grin straight back. Couldn’t help but look deep into those baby blues as they silently celebrated together. This was a victory Seth would be incredibly proud of.
The intimate look went on just a second too long, making the breath hitch in Luke’s chest. His balls tightened and blood rushed to his cock.
It happened every damn time he looked at the kid.
Nuh-uh. Not this time. This time he was backing off, moving away. This time he was finally going to do what he’d sworn he’d do at least the last fifteen or twenty times he and Seth had gotten naked: end things between them. Push Seth away.
Luke deliberately checked his watch. “On that final note, meeting is over. It’s midnight. Which means it’s bedtime, people. Go, get some sleep. We’ve got a big day ahead of us. Huge. First live concert in over a year, and I want you rested and ready for it. You’re gonna bring the house down on Sydney tomorrow.”
Luke needed to run through their schedule one last time. He needed to ensure the brothers knew where they needed to be and when, and what interviews he’d scheduled for them. But all that could wait. He’d deliberately left the good news for last, knowing it would motivate the band to give their all tomorrow night. “Morning and lunch are yours, but I want you in this here hotel suite at three thirty sharp. Don’t be late. Now, go.”
Nathan Pace, otherwise known as Jamie Speed, the band’s lead singer and the oldest of the three Pace brothers, was out the door before he’d finished saying goodnight. Not surprisingly, he was the only one who seemed to have even a modicum of energy left. He’d been walking on air ever since meeting his dream girl two days ago.
Tim, the bass guitarist, stumbled to his feet and pulled Bill, the synthesizer whiz kid into a barely conscious standing position. “Later,” Tim said, and Bill lifted his hand in a halfhearted attempt at a wave. Arnie, the saxophonist, trudged after them. They were tired, but they left smiling broadly. Every one of them.
Zachary, the middle Pace brother and drummer, Jonah Speed, drained his beer, tossed it in the trash and slapped Luke affectionately on the shoulder. “You’re the man, Struthers. You know we could never hit number one without you?”Speed’s
Luke grinned at his best buddy since their first year in college. “See you in the morning.” Luke had always thought him the most musically gifted of the three brothers, although Zachary would deny that sentiment with his dying breath. He could play any instrument you put in his hand, even one he’d never seen before. Earlier on today he’d blown a haunting rendition of “Loving Eyes” out from a didgeridoo. Until five minutes before that, he’d never picked up a damn didgeridoo.
Delilah and Devine, the two back-up singers, left with a nod and a sashay of their hips. They may be tired, but the news had given them the va-voom to strut their stuff.
The room emptied, leaving Luke looking at the one place he didn’t want to look, at the one face he couldn’t help staring at. He swallowed a sigh and pursed his lips, mentally bracing himself. “You planning on sleeping on the couch tonight?” Damn, he hoped not. The ways that would test his self-restraint…
The youngest Pace brother, known to the general public as genius guitarist and lyricist, Jordan Speed, looked at him, his sleepy blue gaze still sending out its silent invitation. “Only if you share it with me.”
Ah, hell. Turning Seth away was not going to be easy. “Seth, it’s late. The night before a concert. The first concert of a world tour. You don’t need me, you need sleep.”
“I always need you, Luke. It’s time you realized that.”
Damn idealist, so busy dreaming the impossible he had no idea that most of what he dreamed wasn’t realistic. “Correction. You always need sex, not me. Now go to bed.”
“I like sex. Often. You I need. Always.”
“Seth—”
Seth smiled. That sexy, drowsy smile that made Luke think of big beds and rumpled sheets. “Relax, big guy. I just wanna talk about something.”
“You just wanna talk?” Yeah, right. He knew Seth too well to believe that one.
Seth nodded. “I was hoping to run something by you.”
Luke raised an eyebrow. “At midnight?” Not a good idea at all. The only thing Seth liked to run by Luke at midnight was his cock, and Luke needed to stop that practice if he had any hope of keeping Seth at arm’s length.
Seth shrugged. “It’s morning back in New York. My body hasn’t adjusted to Sydney time yet.”
Hard to argue with that one. Luke was also suffering the effects of the time change. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked back to lean against the wall, deliberately increasing the distance between them. Standing too close to Seth made Luke want to do things to him he had no right doing. He’d never had a right to do them, but he’d never had the willpower to resist.
Hah, as if the three steps made any difference. Seth’s presence alone was enough to get a fire burning in all the right places. “Okay, shoot. What’s on your mind?”
Seth sat up, pulling his feet in close to the couch. Then he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hands. “I’ve been working on a song, trying to find the right lyrics, but they’re just not there. I need your help accessing them.”
Damn.
This could only spell trouble for Luke. He and Seth had worked on songs together. Often. And every time, the work had ended with Luke buried balls-deep inside Seth’s ass.
Luke shook his head. “You know I’m useless with words.” He couldn’t put a sentence together in any kind of lyrical or poetic way. Luke’s skills lay in understanding business and marketing, not in creativity and idealism, like Seth’s did.
“You know that’s never bothered me. Once I find the words, there’s no problem writing them. It’s finding them that I need your help with. Thrashing out ideas.”
Seth came to him often when he needed help with lyrics. When the words weren’t flowing like they usually did. And every time he came, they’d brainstorm ideas together and find a way past the block.
Seth liked to talk out his concerns. Focus on the parts that weren’t working and get Luke’s advice and thoughts.
Sometimes he just liked to discuss a concept in general. Maybe an idea for the song that he couldn’t see from every angle. What blew Luke away was that when he finally got to hear the end product, there was always a verse featuring his viewpoint. Paraphrased by Seth, of course, so the sentiments came out sounding melodic and profound in a way Luke would never be able to voice them, but they’d be his sentiments nevertheless.
“You know what you need to do?” Luke asked, looking for a solution to Seth’s problem that did not involve himself. “Head on down to the bar, order a drink and find some of those paper napkins you’re so fond of. Remember ‘Sky’s the Limit’?” Seth had jotted down the first two verses of that song while he and Luke had sat around a table in a bar with the other two Pace brothers. He’d written them on red paper napkins. The next day he’d handed the napkins—with the completed song scrawled on them—to Zachary and told him to go compose the music. “A beer and a dim room. That’s all you need. The words will flow.”
Seth’s chuckle echoed through the room. “You think that’s what gets my creative juices flowing? A drink and a bar?”
“The song was a chart topper from day one.”
“It was. So give yourself a pat on the back. You were the motivation behind the lyrics.”
Luke frowned.
“You don’t remember the topic of conversation when I wrote those words?”
He shook his head.
“You were telling me, Nath and Zachary that we could go anywhere with Speed. Either take it all the way to the top internationally, or keep it focused on American soil. Your exact words were, ‘The sky’s the limit with this venture, and if anyone can reach those limits and push beyond them, it’s us.’”
Luke stared at Seth, dumbfounded. He had no recollection of ever saying that. It was usually Seth who put the big, vague dream on the table, not Luke
.
“You’re always the inspiration for my songs. Don’t you know that by now?”
“Aw, kid, hell.” Luke scratched the back of his neck. “Jesus, don’t say things like that.”
“Why not? It’s the truth.”
“Because…” Luke let his words trail off. He’d been about to say because it makes it harder for me to break things off with you.
That would be a damned dumb thing to say now. At the start of a world tour. He needed the band members motivated. Not upset. Or pissed off.
“…Because it makes you underestimate the power of your own abilities. You’re a brilliant lyricist, regardless of your motivations.”
Seth grimaced, looking frustrated. “Then help me be brilliant now. Help me find the words again. This writer’s block is killing me.”
Luke shook his head, disgusted by his lack of willpower. Why did he even bother trying to refuse Seth anything? In the end he always gave in. “Okay. Hit me with the song. We can iron out the creases together.”
Seth’s face lit up. “You mean it?”
“You gonna leave without working on the lyrics?”
“Hell, no.”
“Then I don’t really have a choice, now do I?”
Seth’s lips curved into a smile of delight. Christ, he looked like a damn kid in a candy store.
But then Seth always reminded him of that kid. He was always seeing the delicious possibilities in any given scenario. “Tell me what you’ve got so far.”
Seth frowned. “Er, not very much.”
“That’s okay. Let me broaden the question a bit. Tell me about the theme of the song. Or the title.”
“It’s complicated,” Seth warned.
Luke stood quietly, waiting for Seth to gather his thoughts.
“And personal.”
No surprise there. Most of Seth’s songs were personal, relating to an event in his life, or a person. Or a mood.
“Now, forever and always,” Seth said eventually.
Luke raised an eyebrow. “The title?”
