“Emily!” This time Mrs. Heller was standing behind me. “Principal’s office this instant.”
I turned to face her. “I—”
“I don’t want to hear it. Let’s go,” she said, and escorted me off the stage. I turned to see Wes’s reaction, but Amanda blocked my view.
I had no clue what he was thinking. Had I blown everything? There was no way to know. Not now anyway.
It was time to face my punishment.
I just hoped it was all worth it.
31
Detention was torture, and not because it was detention, but because I had no idea what Wes was thinking. And it just gave me time to sit there and replay the whole awful thing over and over again. Why hadn’t he said anything? I told him how much I liked him, and he just stood there gawking at me. Was he processing? Or did he not know how to tell me that he didn’t feel the same way anymore? That had to be it. If he had wanted me, he would have done something—chased after me, screamed out, pulled out his phone and played a song. But he didn’t.
I put my head down on my desk. I was so sure the grand gesture was a good idea. How could I have been so wrong? I hadn’t even had a chance to talk to Jill or Kayla. After the principal’s office, it was straight to detention. At least they let me change into my regular clothes. It was one less reminder of how stupid I had been.
“Hey,” some sophomore sitting in front of me said. I looked up, and he was holding his phone up, just inches from my face. “This you?”
I slammed my face back down. My new humiliation was already up on the World Wide Web for me and everyone else to relive.
“There’s a bunch of ’em posted,” he continued, ignoring the fact that I clearly did not want to talk. Where was the teacher to tell everyone to be quiet when I needed her? “You got a ton of hits already.”
I didn’t even want to know which parts of my embarrassing display were uploaded. Where I began reciting my ridiculous poem? Where Amanda tackled me? Where I declared my undying love, only to be met with a blank stare? All of them were cringe-worthy. Why hadn’t Heller demanded the principal suspend me? Then I could have spent the next few days at home, away from Wes, Amanda, everyone. But no, she cut me a break, because I was usually such a “well-behaved student” (other than my constant talking in class). Although, honestly, I think it was because she felt sorry for me. There I was, putting myself out there, following in the footsteps of literary and movie greats who took risks and declared their undying love, only to be royally rejected.
The sophomore finally turned back around in his seat, and I spent the rest of my detention trying to wish away the day.
“Are you free?” Kayla asked, peeking into the classroom after everyone filed out. Jill was right behind her.
“Yeah, for today anyway. Thanks for waiting.”
Jill dropped into the seat next to me. “We wouldn’t leave you here. Not after what you went through today. How long did you get?”
“Today, next week, and the one after.”
“Ouch,” she said. “It could have been worse, I guess.”
“We feel guilty,” Kayla said. “We should be in here with you. We pushed you to do this.”
“No,” I objected. “This is not on you. I made this mess. I told Heller it was all me, that you guys had no idea what was going on, and I want to keep it that way.”
“It doesn’t seem fair,” Jill said.
“Life isn’t fair,” I answered, and shoved my books into my bag. If it was, it wouldn’t always be the people like Amanda who got the guy. “Have you seen Wes?”
They shook their heads.
“Not since the scene,” Kayla said.
“So they did it?” I asked. “After I left?”
“Yeah,” Jill answered, her voice soft.
“How was it? How was Amanda?”
Kayla put her hand on my arm. “She was no you.”
“So you mean she was amazing then?” My little stunt probably wound up pushing her even closer to Wes. I could picture the two of them laughing over the mess I created.
Jill stood up. “You know what, let’s get out of here. We can pick up some ice cream and watch a movie. Sound good?”
I knew they were trying to make me feel better, and I appreciated it, but I just needed some time alone. I’d liked Wes for so long, but I blew it. It was over. Accepting that was hard, but I had to start. “Can I just have a few minutes?”
“Of course,” Jill said. “We’ll wait for you by my car.”
Once they left, I sunk my face into my hands. Why couldn’t anything ever go my way? I tried to hold back my tears, but it wasn’t working. I needed to snap out of it. I had nothing to be ashamed of or upset over. Even though today didn’t work out, I did my best, I tried, and that was something. Wes was just some guy. A guy who didn’t want me. It was stupid to cry over him. I had other things in my life. So what if a broken heart was one of them?
I just sat there, head down in silence for a moment.
But something changed. I could feel someone standing over me. Had Jill and Kayla come back?
I looked up.
It was Wes.
32
“Hi,” Wes said, taking the seat next to me.
“Hi.” I looked up, and over Wes’s shoulder I saw Jill and Kayla peering in through the doorway. They were giving me big thumbs-up signs. They must have crossed paths with Wes in the hallway and come back to spy. I bugged my eyes out at them to go; and after making a few excited faces and mouthing “OMG” and “this is good,” they waved and left.
Were they right? Was this good? Or was Wes just being a nice guy and coming by to let me down gently and to say “let’s be friends”? I wasn’t sure what to do, so I waited for him to start talking.
“You okay?” he asked.
There was no hiding that I’d been crying, but I rubbed my eyes with my sleeve anyway. “It’s been a long day.” I didn’t know what to feel. Why was he here? I was so confused, and having him so close was twisting up all my emotions. A fresh tear made its way down my cheek. Wes wiped it away with his finger.
He needed to stop doing things like that now. Unless he was here to tell me he liked me. Because it was all those tiny acts he did that made me fall for him totally and completely.
Part of me just wanted to yell, Tell me why you’re here already. Spit it out. But I held back. I had already made a spectacle of myself today. Whatever Wes had to say—good or bad—I was just going to listen.
“About what you said out there,” he said.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Did you mean it?”
There was the teensiest, tiniest part of me that wanted to say no, to protect myself, in case he didn’t feel the same way, but that’s what got me into trouble the first time. So I went for the truth.
“Yes. I meant all of it. Every word.” My breathing had picked up. Amanda may have been right. I did sound kind of Darth Vader–ish. But I couldn’t help it, I was supernervous.
“Is this just because it didn’t work out with Cody?” he asked. “Because he got back together with Amanda last night?”
“He what? I thought Amanda was into you?”
He didn’t answer. He was just watching me. Wait. He couldn’t possibly think I made a fool of myself in front of the whole school because I was upset about Cody?
“You know I never really liked him, right? It was never about him.” I laid it all out. “When I found out you were going to the dance with Amanda, I was upset, so I tried to make you jealous. I know it was dumb.”
“It worked,” he said quietly. “You know, you were the one I wanted to go to the dance with.”
I looked down at my hands. “But you took Amanda.”
“She asked, and she had just gotten out of the hospital. I didn’t know how to say no. I should have, though.”
“So you’re not into her?”
“Never was.”
He put his fingers lightly on my chin and lifted my face back up so I wa
s looking at him. “I was going to tell you, but then you said those things about just being friends.”
“That was because I just found out you were taking out someone else. Someone who was hanging all over you.”
“I thought that might have been why, but when I tried to talk to you about it, you were all about Cody, so I backed off.”
Of course he did, because he was a good guy.
“I’m sorry I didn’t listen. It’s just that Amanda was always there. Even before she went into the hospital. I thought it was something more.”
“She kept coming around, and texting, and I don’t know. It wasn’t anything real. Apparently, I’m the guy everyone uses to make Cody jealous.”
“I never cared what Cody thought.” I squeezed my eyes shut so I wouldn’t have to look at him when I admitted this. “I only cared about you. And it made me do stupid things. I wasn’t thinking straight. I just liked you so much. I still do. Like you, that is.”
“Good,” he said, and put his hand on my arm, “because I like you, too.”
Was I dreaming? I opened one eye. “Even after today?”
He smiled. It was one of those big ones that made his eyes sparkle and showed off his dimple. “Especially after today.”
I couldn’t help but smile back. “I guess my grand gesture worked.”
“I guess it did. Although, I would have still liked you without it. Not that I didn’t love your rhyming.”
I cringed slightly as I thought about my poem. Wes-eo and mess-eo. Dance-eth and chance-eth. I really needed to stick to math. “I know it was cheesy and corny. English and Shakespeare are not my subjects.”
“I thought it was perfect.”
“You did?”
“I did.”
He was looking at me so intently I felt light-headed. All that disappointment and regret I had been feeling not even half an hour ago had been replaced with dizzying happiness. Wes wanted me! It was really happening.
“Well, I…” I stopped speaking when he stood up. My eyes followed him as he moved closer. The next thing I knew, Wes was mere inches away from me. I felt my heartbeat quicken and my body move toward his. This was it! Wes’s hands cupped my face, and then slowly, tenderly, his lips pressed against mine.
Wes Rosenthal was kissing me!
When he pulled away, I wasn’t sure I could even remember my name.
He locked eyes with mine. “I don’t have a poem,” he said, “but you’ve always been the one for me. You were my first crush. You were the girl down the street I always wanted to hang out with. Emily, you’re my Juliet.”
We held each other’s gaze, and then he leaned in toward me again, never once breaking eye contact. All I could think about was the taste of his mouth. When I didn’t think I could take it even a second longer, his lips were back on mine. The years of dreaming about this moment didn’t even come close to the real thing. It was the perfect kiss. A sweet, passionate, hot, Romeo and Juliet kiss.
And just like that, my tragedy turned-eth into a love story-eth.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I AM CONSTANTLY IN AWE OF ALL the incredible people at Swoon Reads and Macmillan. Thank you for helping me bring this book to life. I feel very lucky to have you in my corner.
Jean Feiwel, thank you for believing in me. It's an honor to have you as my publisher.
Editor extraordinaire Holly West, thank you, thank you, thank you! This book is so much better because of you. You are amazing, and I've loved working with you!
Lauren Scobell, I don't even know where to start. Romeo & What's Her Name would probably still be sitting in a file waiting to be finished if it wasn't for you. Not only are you an incredible friend, but you are one of the most talented, hardworking people I know. Thank you for everything.
My main character isn't the only Emily to play a role in this book. Emily Settle and Emily Petrick, thank you for all your help, feedback, and more!
To Jonathan Yaged, president of Macmillan Children's Publishing Group, Rebecca Syracuse, who designed the amazing cover, Holly Hunnicutt and everyone in sub rights, Caitlin Sweeny, Caitlin Crocker, Kallam McKay and everyone in digital, Kathryn Little, Ashley Woodfolk and everyone in marketing, Allison Verost and the whole publicity team, Mariel Dawson and the advertising team, production editor Melinda Ackell, copy editor Tracy Koontz, and everyone else involved in this book, I am so grateful for all your help and support. Thank you for everything.
To the Swoon community, you are fantastic. Thank you for your input, your thoughts, and your kind words. I truly appreciate it.
The librarians, booksellers, bloggers, reviewers, and readers, thank you for spending some of your time with Emily and her friends. It means a lot.
To Fox 5 and all my current and former colleagues. You are such a supportive group of people. Thank you for being there for me.
A big part of this book is about friendship, and I feel very lucky to have amazing friends. From the ones I've known forever to the ones who've recently entered my life, from the coworkers to the cousins, and to everyone in between-thank you. Your support, your encouragement, and your love mean the world to me.
(And special shout-out to Anna Hecker Schumacher and Judy Goldschmidt, who not only looked over the short story version of Romeo & What's Her Name but made amazing suggestions that made it from rough draft to final version of the book. Thank you for your feedback and friendship. And a thank-you to the group of authors I first debuted alongside of that encouraged me to write the short story. You are indeed a talented group of people.)
To my extended and immediate family, I adore you. Mom, Jordan, Andrea, Liam, and Alice, you do more for me than you could ever know. You are the world to me. I love you and am so thankful for you. To my father, whose love for books was only second to his love for his family, I know you are looking down and smiling. I love you.
And, of course, I can't leave out my first crush, the one who later gave me rides in high school, tried to show me how to drive a stick-shift car, and made me so nervous (in a good way) that I hid under the table from him at the dance. Thank you for the memories. You will always hold a soft spot in my heart.
EMILY’S FAILED ATTEMPTS AT POETRY FOR WES
“Okay,” Jill said. “If you’re going to go up on stage to win over Wes, we have to have something for you to say.”
“Ooooh.” Kayla perked up and leaned forward in her chair. “What if you actually memorized the words to the Romeo and Juliet scene and performed it perfectly?”
“I’m afraid I’d screw it up again.”
“You wouldn’t,” she assured me.
“But Mrs. Heller would probably cut her off before she got very far.” Jill was always the voice of reason. “You need something short and to the point but also romantic.”
Kayla jumped up. “A poem. You can read him a sonnet. Or better yet, you can write something yourself!”
I actually snorted. Me? Write a poem? She couldn’t be serious. Only she was.
“It will be so sweet. Who doesn’t want something written especially for them?”
Jill nodded. “That’s perfect.”
“Yeah, perfect until he hears my pathetic attempt and runs the other direction. What am I going to write?” I asked, and began to improvise.
“Wes. W is for how wonderful you are. E is for the emotions you make me feel. S is for short—as in, I’m grateful your name is short, because I suck at poetry.”
“You might want to keep working,” Jill said.
“No kidding!” I said, and stuffed a piece of chocolate in my mouth. This was ridiculous.
“Try rhyming,” Kayla offered.
“Poems don’t have to rhyme,” Jill informed her.
“I know that.” Kayla scrunched up her face. “But you just heard her free verse.”
“Point taken.”
“Ha-ha,” I said, and threw chocolate Kisses at them. I wasn’t about to tell them that I didn’t even know what free verse meant—although from the context I guessed
it meant something that didn’t rhyme. I was so not a poetry girl. Couldn’t I just help Wes with his computer? That would be so much easier. But I knew I had to get out of my comfort zone. I was supposed to be doing something grand, not simple. “Okay, I’ll try rhyming.” What rhymed with Wes? Less, Loch Ness, dress … I took a few minutes to jot something on paper.
“Well, let’s hear it,” Jill said when I put the pencil down.
I covered my face with my hands. “It’s pitifully embarrassing. Seriously. It’s worse than me humming on stage and getting a book pummeled at my head.”
“Then we definitely have to hear this,” Kayla said.
“Okay,” I relented, “but don’t say you weren’t warned. I don’t want to get sued when your ears start bleeding.”
“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Jill said.
“I wouldn’t be,” I told her. “Here it goes.” I couldn’t believe I was going to read this out loud. At least I’d give my friends a laugh. But Jill and Kayla were one thing—how was I ever going to do this in front of my classmates? And Wes? I clutched my paper, cleared my throat, and started reading in my best announcer voice.
“Wes, I have something to confess, so here I am to profess how much I want to feel your caress. I guess what I’m trying to stress is that I obsess over whether you will say yes. Nevertheless, here I am without much finesse, trying to assess what you think of my little address.” I wasn’t sure I could even get out the last line with a straight face. There was a reason I didn’t write things. “Please say this was a success, oh, my Wes, Wes, Wes.”
I cringed as I looked up at them. “Well?” I could see they were both trying really, really hard to hold back their laughter. Jill’s face was red, and Kayla looked like she was about to have tears come streaming down.
I couldn’t help but laugh at their expressions, which opened the floodgates. Pretty soon we were all doubled over in hysterics.
“You know,” Jill said, “not everything has to rhyme with Wes. You can have some variety. But I like your pro-cess.”
“Yeah,” Kayla added, trying to get out words through her laughter, “it’s a work in pro-gress.”
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