by Alyson Belle
And that wasn’t the only annoying thing about this delicate female body that was a drag. I poked at the huge, ample breasts Haxor’s girlfriend had given her character because she’d wanted her to be sexy, and shuddered as I felt them jiggle. I mean, it felt nice to touch them, and any other time I might have snuck off to play with them a little bit, but talk about impractical in a fight! She wouldn’t even be able to swing a proper sword arc without her boobs getting in the way. Her hips were also shapely despite how slender she was overall, and her tummy was tight and small, giving her a decent hourglass shape. I shook my head and what a stupid form this was for an online role-playing game and noticed that curly blonde locks waved artfully around my face at about shoulder length.
Even the clothes were ridiculous and impractical: flared pink pants made of a soft, silky material, velvet slippers, and a tube top shirt that somehow still managed to have a v-neck and lift my already large breasts up even higher. There was a delicate chain-link gold choker around my neck, a silly ornament considering it wasn’t even magical, and I was pretty sure this avatar was wearing a thong beneath her pants with the uncomfortable way the fabric was stretching between my ass cheeks. It all felt too tight and constricting against my unusually sensitive skin, and I picked at tubetop and the pants, trying to adjust my underwear to be slightly more comfortable. It didn’t help.
Someone snickered nearby, and I glanced up to see Duderrzz, Lv. 11 Half-Elf Warrior laughing at me.
“Still getting used to your online body, babe?” he asked, guffawing at me. “I can help you out if you need a, er, hand with those tits…”
I narrowed my eyes at him and grabbed for my sword, but of course my hand just swiped empty air over my shoulder. Lacey the Courtesan didn’t have a sword. I didn’t even know what Courtesans used for weapons in battle. Fans or some stupid shit like that, maybe?
I couldn’t believe that I was taking flak from a level 11 peon named Duderrzz of all things, and I almost set him straight about who my main was, but I bit my tongue just in time. Kromgorn was well-known on this server. The last thing I needed was for people to think I spent time prancing around as Lacey the Courtesan when I wasn’t busy slaying demons in the hinterlands of Lorengarde.
“Shut up, dickface,” I growled instead. Or I tried to growl it, but instead of the menacing, throaty rumble I was usually able to muster, the words popped out of my mouth in the high-pitched, indignant tone of a tiny, pissed-off chick. Duderrzz just laughed hard at me, and I stomped away from him and into the bank, my cheeks flushing wildly. Running around in this girl’s avatar was already sucking, so the sooner I could get it over with, the better. Besides, I didn’t have time to trade insults. Jazzus needed me.
Players were giving me guff was bad enough, but I knew the NPCs would also be a hassle. They were coded to respond appropriately to your class, race, and gender. The Fantasy Realms Online devs were mostly dudes, of course, so when I showed up in front of the banker…
“Hey there, hot stuff,” he said, raising a bushy eyebrow and ogling my curves. “How can the bank of Minsc help your cute little self today?”
I gritted my teeth and ignored his banter. It would be as pointless as telling Kirth the innkeeper to shove it — it was just in his programming. “Let me see my bank,” I ordered, wishing again that Lacey had picked literally any other class for her main character.
He waved a hand toward the vault door with a wink and I felt his eyes on my ass as I hurried through, eager to get away from all the uncomfortable attention. This body was impossible to move around in without swaying my hips, and I had hips that were literally designed to draw people’s gaze to them now.
Inside the bank were stacks and stacks of the low-value tradeskill materials that we kept on Lacey and a very small shelf of important items Jazzus had stored here too. I quickly started digging through the piles, looking for the items she’d recommended. I collected the fire traps, the all-level cloak of invisibility—thank goodness she’d stashed that here—some potions of invisibility as backup, and the Arcane Disruptor. It looked like a glowing blue top marked up with mystical purple symbols, and I dumped it into my bag along with all the other items. As I turned to go, an amber-colored potion on the shelf caught my eye: The Potion of Temporary Level Boost Jazzus had mentioned. I chewed my lip, wondering if it was really worth using here. It was a one-shot item that came with the Collector’s Edition of the game we’d all purchased, and most of the guild had used ours ages ago. A temporary 40-level boost was a huge advantage, and it seemed stupid to waste it on enabling the level 3 Lacey to seduce an orc—not that I would be doing that anyway.
But still, you never knew. Better safe than sorry, and it’s not like I could lose it. It was soulbound and would stay in my inventory through death. I pocketed the potion, grabbed a small bag of gold, and raced to the Minsc flightmaster. This time I didn’t even bother waiting for the sexy banter. I just threw a coin at him, hopped on a wyveryn, and headed for the Burning Fields for the second time today.
As I clung to the wyveryn, wind whipping my golden curls around my face, I pulled up Lacey’s character screen. I had time to kill during the flight, and I was curious just how poorly she’d built this character. It was worse than I expected. She hadn’t just dumped all her points into Charisma—oh no, nothing so simple as that—she’d drained her other stats to boost it even higher. Strength, Constitution, Intelligence, and Wisdom were all at pitiful levels. So not only was this avatar horribly weak and fragile… NPCs and enemy mobs would also treat her like she was dumb as dirt, and she had no spell resists to speak of. The only stats she’d left at a normal level, though still unimpressive, were Dexterity and Agility. I rolled my eyes, wondering if she’d been hoping they would help her perform in the bedroom. Every other point she had went into Charisma, which was as high as it could go during character creation.
The Burning Fields began to roll past at the edges of my character screen, and I closed it with a sigh. At least all the NPCs would instantly like her, which was important since they wouldn’t consider her opinion, put any stock in what she said, or respect her fighting prowess at all. How annoying. Why would anyone want to play a character like this? Girls like this in real life were bad enough, and I wondered if that’s what Haxor’s girlfriend was like out of game too.
I slid off the wyveryn as I touched down, pulled my invisibility cloak around my shoulders, and raced back to where Jazzus and I had first been surveying the Death Cult Tower. I crouched down, my skin translucent once again with the invisibility spell, and checked out the entrance. This time it would be even more dangerous, because if my spell dropped or if an orc wizard just happened to have See Invisibility up, I’d be helpless. But something was different this time: all the orcs were dead, lying in pools of their own blood on the ground.
My eyes widened in surprise, but I didn’t waste the opportunity. Whoever had fought their way in had given me an opening, and I needed to hurry and take it before the orcs respawned. I ran into the tower, following the same path I’d taken earlier. I was still cautious, moving quietly through the halls with my invisibility cloak up, but it was the same story everywhere. Dead orcs on the ground, slaughtered silently. I paused for a moment and strained my ears. No sounds of clashing battle came from anywhere in the tower. The assassin killing these orcs had been quick, efficient, and likely stealthed. Probably a single, high-level player rather than a full party. Did Vierdimin have backup coming to join him?
I’d have to be even more careful. I crept forward, feet padding quietly against the black stone, grateful that my lack of armor and velvet slippers could make up for a nonexistent Sneak skill. By the time I reached the huge, black double doors to the orc king’s chamber, I was getting really nervous. I still didn’t hear any sounds of fighting, which meant I had to be getting close—
“Eek!” I squeaked as the tip of a dagger appeared at my neck. Someone had materialized behind me, and they slid their left arm around me to pin down my arms a
nd prevent my escape, dagger still poised uncomfortably at my throat. My invisibility spell popped, and I didn’t move a muscle. Apparently the assassin could see through invisibility too. I could not afford to get killed and respawn back in Lorengarde right now. I felt totally helpless, and I could feel the heat of the strong, male assassin’s body radiating off of him on the bare parts of my skin. My nipples hardened and I cursed how realistically they modeled the natural reactions of the female human body in this game.
But then the figure released me and spun me around. “Yvette?” he asked in a surprised tone of voice. I blinked at the assassin in shock, my mouth dropping open. Haxor, Lv. 68 Half-Elf Spellblade stood before me.
I collected myself enough to shake my head at his question. “Who’s Yvette?” I asked.
Haxor narrowed his eyes and pointed at me. “My girlfriend. You’re wearing her avatar, Lacey. Who are you? I already saw that Jazzus is still in game.”
I blushed, avoiding looking him directly in the eyes, and kicked at the ground in front of me. “It’s, ah… er. I’m… Kromgorn.”
He took half a step back and shook his head. “Jesus, really dude? It’s weird enough that Jazzus runs around in her avatar, but now you too?”
“Believe me, I didn’t want to!” I protested. “I’m only doing this because… look, you know what? It’s a long story. I’ll explain later. When did you show up?”
“I got Jazzus’s text and called Topper until he woke up too. He’s on the way, but I don’t think he’ll get here in time. Vierdimin looks like he’s wrapping up with his ritual.” He glanced over his shoulder toward the balcony stairwell, clearly nervous about even this small amount of time we were wasting.
“Well, let’s go,” I said, digging all of the items we’d need out of my bag. “You can give these to Jazz and I’ll log back into Krom—”
“No time,” Haxor said with a quick shake of his head. “We need to interrupt Vierdimin now.”
“But Hax, I’m not going to be any help unless—”
“Shh. I don’t need you either way. Come on. Stick to your original plan and I’ll keep the big V busy.” He turned on his heel and raced up the steps, moving silently even in his medium armor with a maxed-out Sneak skill.
I shook with frustration, so mad that I actually stomped my foot on the ground. Haxor wasn’t usually so dismissive of my plans, and I’d bet it had to do with how I looked and sounded right now. But there was nothing to do but continue. Haxor was always overconfident, and he’d need backup to take on the Lich. I tossed down a few fire traps in front of the door in case orcs came or Vierdimin tried to run, and followed him up the steps, Arcane Disruptor clutched tightly in my hand.
Chapter 5
I took the stairs two at a time, moving as quickly as my short little legs could carry me, but Haxor was faster. By the time I reached the top he was already vaulting over the edge, daggers bared, to confront Vierdimin. I had to move fast too, although as a high-level Spellblade Haxor stood a much better chance of fighting the Lich than Jazz and I had had. Spellblades had all kind of tricks to deal with enemy mages and were often used to take them out in pinpointed strikes during large battles—but then again, twelve levels was still a big difference.
I rolled over the banister and followed Haxor to the ground, landing with a thump beside him. The fall nearly knocked me over since I was still adjusting to this body’s proportions, but after a moment of wobbling I managed to keep my balance and not fall flat on my face.
“Go,” Haxor hissed, and shoved me into a stumbling sprint toward the energy cages while he squared his stance and fixed a steely gaze on the Lich. Jazz waved eagerly at me, hand outstretched for the Arcane Disruptor.
“Won’t you peons leave me in peace?” Vierdimin demanded, standing from his crouch and shaking his head. “Doesn’t matter. The ritual is complete. You can’t stop it now.” He threw his head backwards and cackled evilly, and I wondered if that was something he practiced at home in the mirror.
“Sounds like a bluff,” Haxor growled, and leapt toward Vierdimin, daggers flashing.
I slapped the Arcane Disruptor into Jazzus’s hand, doing my best to ignore the flashes and bangs from the frenzied magical battle occurring over my shoulder. “There, are you good?”
She nodded, concentrating on the glowing top and running her fingers over the arcane runes. “Thanks. Perfect.” She jammed the tip of it directly into the cage bar and grinned as the spell flickered and the bars winked out. Then she grabbed me in a big hug. “Thanks Krom. You’re the best. Let’s go help Hax.”
I grinned and twisted awkwardly, trying to ignore how nice it felt for our breasts to press together when she gathered me up in a hug like that. I’d had the strongest urge to start kissing her, which I chalked up to another annoying side effect of my class and statistics. Jazzus let me go and drew her staff from our equipment pile, beginning to call upon her arcane energies. My glowing epic sword stuck up from the same pile, calling out to me, but there was no way it’d be any use to me as Lacey. It was too high level for me to even wield it.
“I’m switching back to Kromgorn,” I said, running the mental logout command. But then nothing happened. I scrunched my face up, confused, but then I noticed the flashing combat symbol on my HUD. “Damn it, Jazzus! I can’t log out. I got tagged in Haxor’s combat with Vierdimin. They need to finish first.”
“Shit,” she swore, tossing me a sideways glance as she finished charging up her staff. “Okay, just uh… stay out of the way and try not to do anything stupid.” She sprang over to join the battle with Vierdimin, and there was nothing I could do but go and cower behind the orc king’s throne.
I crouched behind the solid gold chair in the middle of the chamber, furious at this stupid avatar for being so useless. I wanted to charge in beside my guildmates, epic sword swinging toward Vierdimin’s stupid skull, and what did I have instead?
“Nice tits,” a gravelly voice said.
I jumped almost six inches in the air and whirled around to see Death Cult Orc King, Lv. 50, towering over me from a foot away. Vierdimin’s hold spell on him must have worn out!
I tried to scramble back, but he caught my wrist and yanked me closer. A leering grin cracked across his ugly green face, revealing rows of slimy, yellow teeth, and I gagged as his rank breath washed over me. I twisted my wrist, trying to break free, but my avatar was so weak that I didn’t even budge his grip.
“What’s a cute little Courtesan doing in my lair?” he asked, grabbing my other hand and lifting me up in the air by my arms. He turned me this way and that to inspect my body while I kicked my legs in the air and struggled helplessly, feeling humiliated.
“I’m not a cute little anything,” I spat back at him, trying to figure out how I was going to deal with him. “And as soon as I’m back on my regular avatar I’m going to come back here and slay your ass with a single sword slice.”
He snorted. “Big words from a little girl. I have just the thing for you.” He switched his grip so he was holding both of my hands with one of his huge, meaty paws, and reached into his pocket to retrieve a delicate gold band. He snapped it snugly around my neck, and the clothes I had been wearing shifted into an even skimpier gold bikini. I blushed an even deeper shade of red than I’d been already, embarrassed to have so much of my body exposed. The Orc King smirked at my obvious discomfort and glanced back toward the fight. “Now, we’re getting away from these crazy wizards.”
He tossed me over his shoulder, smacked my bottom a few times in a way that made me squeak with rage, and stalked toward the back wall, away from the fight between Vierdimin and my friends. “Help!” I called out as I bounced in place. But my friends were busy with their own problems: Haxor was still holding his own against the Lich, dodging nasty spells and whittling away at his HP, while Jazzus offered support and counterspells, putting pressure on Vierdimin, but the dark wizard was giving as good as he got—maybe better. All three of them had looks of intense concentration fixed on
their faces.
I’d heard stories about what the Orc King was doing to me. Some of the named NPCs, rather than killing lower-level female characters, would capture them and keep them locked away in a harem, forced to fuck monsters and wear embarrassing outfits until they could find a way to free themselves or call in their friends as backup. It had seemed like a funny and fitting punishment for silly girls who were bad enough players to let themselves be captured, but I couldn’t believe that now I, Kromgorn the Barbarian, was about to be kidnapped into the Orc King’s harem.
The one silver lining was that at least I’d be able to log out once we got far enough away from Vierdimin that my combat flag could drop. Then I’d be able to log back into Krom and help my friends with the fight. We could rescue Lacey’s avatar later.
While the the Orc King futzed with some switches on the wall, I noticed that a glowing black ball of energy had begun to grow in the middle of the chamber, like a miniature version of a spherical lightning cloud. It crackled with purple energy, throwing lightning bolts off at random. What the hell is that? I wondered. I’d never seen any spell like it before in the game, and I didn’t like how quickly it was growing.
“Jazzus! Look!” I screamed, pointing at it. The ball was expanding at an alarming pace, growing by a few inches every second, and Jazzus and the Orc King both turned to see what I was pointing at together.
