by Amelia Jade
He was shaking his head before she even finished responding to him.
“What?”
“That’s not what I meant,” he said gently. “I wasn’t referring to the other women.”
Her face went still for a moment as she processed what he was saying.
“You mean a man.”
He shrugged. “Or another woman, I suppose. Whatever works. But yes, a partner, someone to help ease that burden. It’s entirely possible that many of you will be paired up by the time the children come.”
“Maybe,” she said noncommittally. “But I can’t bank on that, can’t plan ahead on the assumption that there will be a Harden Archer or someone there in the room with me, giving me a hand to squeeze until it breaks as I push this thing out of me.”
Harden couldn’t help but laugh at her blunt analogy of how the birth would go.
“No, you can’t bank on it,” he said. “But you can have hope.”
She shrugged. “If all goes to plan, I give birth in twenty-five weeks. That’s an incredibly short time to find someone who will stick by my side through all that.”
“Perhaps to humans, it is,” he agreed. “But it isn’t to us. That’s actually a rather long time, actually. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of a courtship lasting that long before both parties knew that they were destined to be together.”
Erika didn’t reply, but nor did she drop his hand. All in all, he figured that to be a good sign.
“What would you like to do after the child is born?” he asked.
“Like I’ve thought that far,” she scoffed.
“I think you have,” he pushed, unwilling to back down. She was a driven woman, one who knew what she wanted. Harden didn’t buy for a second that she hadn’t thought about the idea of going back to work, of finding some way to help supplement the income that she got through the Cadian fund.
Erika turned to look at him as they walked along the sidewalk, passing by small little bungalows as they wandered through one residential neighborhood after another, on their way to the sprawling apartment complexes that the shifters had built in record time for her and the other women.
“I don’t know,” she said.
Harden didn’t speak, sensing that she wasn’t done.
“I’ve looked at the college here, at the programs offered by it. There isn’t much, but I’m actually surprised there’s even a college in this town, to be honest.”
“That’s news to me,” he admitted. “I didn’t know that either.”
“Yeah, it’s only a couple of years old I guess. But they offer a program to become a dental assistant that sounds interesting. It’s two years’ worth of study full-time, which means it’ll probably take me three to four, but I can do classes in the summer too, which should help. And there’s always places hiring for that. Cloud Lake has a bunch of dentists in it, believe it or not. If I could push myself, and finish before many of the others, I’d have a good shot at getting a job with one of them, so I could still live here and save up some money.” She frowned at him. “What? Something wrong with my idea?”
“Not at all,” he assured her. “Not in the slightest. I’m just laughing because you told me you hadn’t thought about it. Yet here you are with a plan of attack all laid out.”
Erika smiled sheepishly. “I dunno, I guess I wasn’t sure if you would laugh at me or not. And you did!”
She was just teasing him though, and gave another squeeze of his hand as she smiled at him to make sure he knew she was joking.
“I would never laugh at your goals, Erika,” he said softly. “Never. You should do it, you know. Speak to the college now. Maybe you could take a class or two before the baby comes. Get more of a head start.”
Erika’s face lit up. “That’s an amazing idea! They’ve got to know all about us and our situation. I’m sure there’s some basic, introductory courses I could power through now. That’s such a smart thing to do. Thank you!”
He smiled.
Hand in hand they rounded the corner and headed down the street that had her complex on it. The buildings were all built two stories high, one unit per story, in a long and sprawling community. It was all self-contained, and the outside still showed signs of construction. The buildings themselves had gone up in record time, but the fine details, such as landscaping and pouring of roads and curbs and the like had taken longer, as fewer shifters were kept available for that. The immediate need for shelter over, many of them had to go back to their jobs and their families. Progress was still being made, and Harden figured another two to three weeks and the last of it would probably be done.
Not too shabby, he thought, putting together three hundred units in two months, starting from scratch. They weren’t permanent homes, and likely would last no more than ten years. But by then, proper housing could be built if necessary. Harden doubted many would, however. He had a strange feeling that a lot of people expected the women to end up moving in with their shifter mates.
Erika guided him to her unit, and up to the front door. She didn’t say anything as she opened it and walked inside, holding it for him. Harden had been prepared to call it a day, but it seemed that she was interested in having him around some more. With a mental shrug, he followed her inside, closing the door behind him.
Chapter Fourteen
Erika
“What happened to Kronum?”
The question just sort of slipped out. She hadn’t meant to ask it. Not right then at least. It would have been so much better if she’d waited, waited until later, when it didn’t seem so confrontational. When she could make him see that she was asking not because she wanted to know—though she did—but because he needed to talk about it. To open up.
To grieve.
“Pardon?” he asked, clearly caught off guard by the sudden change of the subject.
“Never mind,” she said hurriedly, hoping that perhaps they could move past her blunder.
It wasn’t to be, however, as he focused those eyes of monied green on her. “Why do you want to know about that?”
She finished removing her shoes, grateful for the relief after having them on all day, and stood up. “That’s not my primary reason for asking,” she told him. “But for starters, because someone warned me away from you, because you’re from there.”
Anger, cold and terrible flashed through his eyes, a darkness she wasn’t sure she could ever understand. Hatred twisted his features into something incomprehensible for a split second. Then his iron will exerted itself and forced calm into him once more. Erika found herself relaxing from a tenseness she hadn’t realized was there, exhaling roughly as the moment passed.
“They what?” he asked quietly, icy rage filling his voice.
“That guy at the ball, bald-headed dude, told me to stay away from you.” She wrinkled her nose. “He kinda acted like he had a claim on me, though I would never have let him touch me. He was…wrong, somehow, I can’t explain it.”
“I’m going to kill him,” he hissed, turning back for the door.
“Wait, Harden,” she said, tightening her fingers into his bicep. “No.”
He looked back at her, then down at her hand on his arm. Erika met his gaze, unafraid to lock eyes with him, peering deep into his soul.
“I know you hurt,” she found herself saying. “I can’t understand it, but I can see it. I can feel it.” Erika licked her lips nervously, pulling him around to face her. “If you let me…I can help you.” Her other hand came up, resting on his chest, over his heart. The strong, powerful pulse of it was noticeable even through his clothing. It wasn’t beating fast, but strongly, pumping blood through his muscles as he prepared for a fight.
“You can’t help me with this,” he whispered hoarsely. “No one can.”
“You’re wrong,” she said, taking a step forward.
Harden moved backward, until his shoulder blades pressed against the door.
“I can’t understand how you feel, because I haven’t been through some
thing like that. I have lost, I’ve left everything behind, because I can’t go back to where I was.” She expelled air from her lungs heavily. “Did you know I used to be a second-grade teacher, living in a house sharing a room with four college students? That’s how I lived. I went to food banks once or twice a month. I begged on the streets on weekends for money for the stray cat that I took care of, until it died. My life growing up I moved around every six months with my father, living the military lifestyle. Yes sir! No sir!” she said, her voice rising as anger filled her as well.
“Erika…”
“No! Don’t use that tone on me,” she snapped. “Not if I’m not allowed to use it on you. You can’t shut me out and then expect to let me in, Harden Archer. That is not the way it works!” She was up in his face now, as best she could be with the nearly twelve inches of height difference. “So no, I can’t feel how you feel. But don’t you dare act like you’re the only one who has ever suffered. I’ve told you about my life, now. You know that it was rough. But I talk about it, Harden. I speak, because it’s the only way that it will allow us to grieve.”
She paused, taking in a breath, her features softening as she pleaded with him. Her voice was a whisper now.
“And you need to grieve, Harden. You need to let your sorrow out.”
He looked away.
“Please. Before it destroys you.”
The last words were spoken so softly they were barely audible, but he heard her nonetheless. For a long moment she thought he was going to defy her, to brush off her attempts to talk to him, to get him to open up. Then he sagged, sliding down the door until he was sitting on the floor, knees pulled to his chest, head hunched over.
Erika followed him down, never letting herself lose contact with him. She stayed on her knees so that she was slightly taller than him, hopefully providing a comforting presence. Her right arm slid behind him and draped over his shoulders while she held his head in her other.
He didn’t cry, which she knew he needed to. Instead he simply sat there in her arms for a long, long time. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them had to. It was an easy, mutual understanding, something that usually took months to develop between a couple. Yet it hadn’t even been twenty-four hours for them. Erika felt overwhelmed by that fact, but she couldn’t deny the connection forming between them.
She’d thought about trying, about not letting him into her house after they came back from mini-putt. It should have been easy to leave him at the door, give a hug, and say thank you for the wonderful afternoon. That’s how it should have gone down. Instead, her body had betrayed her and she’d walked inside, leaving the door open so he could follow her. Whether it had been a subtle way to try and ensure she got laid, or a hidden desire to simply spend more time with him, she hadn’t known.
Now though, it was clear to her that she’d been in the right. He needed this. They both did. Harden needed to grieve, and she needed to know he trusted her enough to be vulnerable around her. She wondered if he’d even cried by himself. It seemed unlikely, judging by the resistance she’d received just now. The evidence that he was bottling it all up was everywhere, and if he kept keeping it in, it would destroy him, an outcome she was quickly coming to realize was unacceptable to her.
“You can’t destroy yourself,” she whispered to him at last. “Not if you want me around.”
He looked up at her, his eyes perhaps coated with a very, very thin sheen of liquid that might not normally be there. Erika carefully didn’t call attention to it.
“I’m not sure I’m fit to be around you,” he said bluntly.
“Maybe. Maybe not,” she admitted. “Right now you’re certainly in no shape to be a father, which is something you’ll have to accept if you want me.” Her hand wandered down to her stomach, a gesture she’d found herself doing more and more lately.
A moment later, it was joined by his.
“I might not be a fit now,” he said, strength returning to his voice. “But according to you, I have twenty-five weeks to work on it. To become the person you need me to be.”
She smiled at the determination in his voice. “It won’t be easy,” she told him.
“I’ve never been one to back away from a challenge. And I think this is the biggest challenge of them all.”
Her lips formed a line that slowly bent upward into a smile. Maybe he was going to be all right after all. Together the two of them could tackle his demons, help him accept the pain, and eventually even maybe begin to move on.
“How do you propose we start?” she asked.
Harden sat up straighter, putting one hand on her back and worming the other behind her knees, between her hamstrings and calves. Then with incredible strength and the utmost care, he lifted her off the ground and onto his lap.
Erika smiled and bit her lip, breathing slightly heavier at the way he’d manhandled her with ease. How such a little action could be so arousing she didn’t know, but it inflamed her body instantly, adding to the work his touch was doing on its own. He began to stroke her leg, caressing her inner thigh as they stared at each other.
“Is this acceptable?” he asked in a smooth, deep voice, run through with tension and excitement.
“It’s a good start,” she whispered, gasping slightly as his fingers slid deliciously close to the peak of her inner legs. “A good start. But if we want to do things right, we can’t stop here.”
He nodded. “Agreed. That wouldn’t be very nice. We should probably continue.”
Erika nodded, a jerky, uneven movement, her attention focused intently on him as her inhibition began to fray and then unravel swiftly with each measured caress of her leg. He squeezed her upper thigh, and she practically melted into him. Warmth crept into her cheeks, down her neck, and across her chest. Her skin flushed, breasts swelling as her nipples responded to his touch, straining to work free of her top.
“Harden,” she whispered as his free hand slid up her side, across her ribcage, and tightened around her enough that he could cup her breast in his long, sensuous fingers.
She hissed, arching her back involuntarily, lips parting ever so slightly. He took advantage of that distraction and covered her mouth with his, eliciting a moan from inside her that trailed off as he didn’t stop his fingers from sliding up her leg this time.
He parted her lips with his tongue and she returned the kiss passionately, letting him explore her as their tongues darted to and fro. The heat of his kiss made her swoon, and she decided right then and there that she wanted him.
“The couch,” she whispered, separating her lips from his long enough to speak.
Harden looked past her, saw the three-person sofa and without a care in the world picked her up and rose to his feet, never once jostling her, his muscles flexing and keeping her even and still the entire time.
“I knew you were strong, but…” she whispered, nipping at his ear as he removed his shoes before continuing, a motion that should have been awkward that he somehow made seductive. The jokester part of her brain wondered if he could do the same with sock removal.
“You don’t exactly weigh much,” he returned, laying her down on the couch and lowering his entire body down on top of her, the two of them shuffling around to make it fit as best as possible.
“Flatterer,” she replied, pulling his face back to hers so she could kiss him some more. He was too delicious not to want to just lie there and kiss. She could smell him now, a combination of freshly cut wood and something else, perhaps lilac, on his hands. An odd scent, but one that reminded her of her favorite body wash. The sudden thought of rubbing Harden all over her while she was wet and naked ran through her mind, and a grin spread across her face.
“What?” he asked, pausing what he was doing.
“Oh, don’t stop that,” she told him, taking his hand and placing it back on her upper hip, where he’d slowly been dragging it down between her legs. “It was nothing. Ask me when we’re done.”
He nodded, obviously confused but
not enough to make an issue of it. Erika took advantage of the momentary separation between them to reach down and tug his shirt off, tossing the T-shirt away, more enthralled with the flat, sculpted musculature of the man on top of her.
“Mmm,” was all she could say as her hands ran across his flat stomach, feeling the ripple of his abs and the firm power of his pecs.
He lowered himself back onto her and she dug her fingers into his back, nails pushing on the muscles that she found in every square inch of him. While she was exploring him, he moved his lips along her jaw, dipping lower to her neck before finding the ridges of her collarbone. She moaned and pushed up into him, her head thrown back as he laid a trail of fire across her body with his touch.
Fingers pushed up under her shirt and she propped herself up on her elbows. Harden wrapped one hand under her lower back and easily kept her aloft while the pair of them divested her of not only her shirt, but her bra as well, baring her hardened nipples to his hungry mouth.
Between gasps she noted that his other hand was climbing perilously high up her inner leg, without any indication that it was going to stop this time. She steeled herself, but the press of him between her legs set off a fire in her core that overwhelmed her. Everything else had led up to that moment, and even with her pants still on, she was trembling from the simple caress of a finger.
“Oh, fu…” her voice trailed off as he moved that finger back and forth very gently with increasing speed. The vibrations and pressure transferred easily through her jeans and Erika began to shake. It had been so long, and he felt so good. In no time at all she felt her body tighten around her, and then explode as he forced her to orgasm with but a knuckle of his index finger. She writhed in ecstasy brought on by that simple touch, forcing herself to breathe heavily to try and maintain some semblance of control.
