For some odd reason, some of the weight lifted from my shoulders and I went from vengeful, albeit more mature Alex, to girlie-girl in less than two seconds flat. “I do love him. I really do. More than… more than I probably should.”
She patted my hand. “You can never love someone more than you probably should.”
I wasn’t sure about that.
“He loves you just as strongly. It was obvious to me from the beginning.”
“It was?”
“The Aiden I knew, the one before he went to Atlanta to find you, had always respected and viewed halfs equally, but he never would’ve taken time away from his Sentinel duties to help any half.”
Knowing what had been done to his parents in front of him while he was a small boy, I could see where she would think that. Becoming a Sentinel and avenging his parents had become everything to him.
“And then I saw the way he was around you in New York.” Her smiled turned wistful again. “It’s all in the way he looked at you—the way he constantly looked at you. You were his world, probably before either of you realized that.”
“You could tell all that by the way he looked at me?” I may’ve sounded skeptical, but oh, wow, that girlie-girl was jumping and shrieking inside me.
Laadan laughed then, the sound like wind chimes. “He watched you like a man starved for the only thing that could fulfill his hunger.”
My eyes popped out and my body flushed about a thousand shades of red. “Oh, wow…”
That was TMI. How come more people hadn’t noticed that? And then it hit me. Laadan would know, because it was how she looked at my father… and probably had witnessed my father looking at my mother in the same manner.
I was suddenly very sad for her.
Scooting closer to her, I wrapped my arms around her slender shoulders. It was awkward at first, because I seriously gave the worst hugs. “Thank you.”
Tears filled her eyes again. “Talking to you about your father is the least I could do. If you like, there are many stories I can tell you. It will be a… joy to speak openly about them.”
“I’d like that,” I whispered.
Laadan rested her cheek atop my head, and in that moment, she reminded me so much of my mom that it was almost too much to keep the tears at bay, but I couldn’t stop the question that formed on the tip of my tongue.
“Do you think I’ll ever get to meet him?”
Her embrace tightened. “You will. Both of you are determined enough to make it happen. I have no doubt.”
Closing my eyes, I latched onto her words. I wanted to believe them—I needed to—but doubt swelled like bitter wisps of acrid smoke. A lot stood between me and my father—years of rules and secrets existed, an army of half-man/half-bulls, and most importantly, Seth.
CHAPTER 12
A few hours later, I stood in the warded-up clearing by the cabin, covered in mud and chilled to the bone. All around me, the sounds of grunts and hard falls echoed through the otherwise silent forest.
I glanced down at my dirty hands and sighed. I was filthy. Maybe I’d get a repeat of that shower later. My gaze found Aiden’s lithe form. He was fighting Luke. In other words, he was repeatedly kicking Luke’s ass.
I doubted a shower repeat was on the menu.
A sharp pang of dissatisfaction formed in the back of my throat. I’d really thought that, since I was supposed to be training, I’d end up with Aiden and it would be like old times with a lot more touchy-feely stuff going on. Boy, was I wrong.
Solos exhaled loudly. “How long are you going to stare at your hands? I’m not getting any younger over here.”
But oh no, the moment we stepped outside, Aiden had paired up with Luke and Olivia, Lea with Marcus. Deacon and Laadan were inside, supposedly making dinner.
Now I was in full internal whine mode.
I moved forward, wincing as my cold jeans chafed my skin. “I don’t think this is the kind of training Apollo had in mind.”
Solos tucked a loose strand of hair back behind his ear. “When’s the last time you trained?”
I honestly couldn’t remember. “I was fighting, like, two days ago.”
“One day in the span of many means nothing.” Broken branches crunched under his booted feet. “Our muscles need to be used daily.”
I caught the tail end of Luke ending up on his butt. “I think they could use your help more. I could be working on using akasha right now. Seth has years of practical experience on me.”
“And you will work with that, but not right now.” Solos was nowhere near as patient as some of my previous trainers had been. He ranked up there with Romvi.
Eyes narrowing, I raised my hand. “I could just use the air element and knock—”
“Alex,” Aiden snapped, stopping Luke’s vicious kick with one hand. He gently pushed him back as thundercloud eyes sharpened on me. “I also doubt Apollo meant for your mouth to be the only thing getting a workout.”
So many inappropriate comments rose to the tip of my tongue and danced around, but I snapped my jaw shut and glared at him.
“He’s trying to help you.” Aiden swiped up a titanium dagger from where it was implanted deep in the ground. “The least you could do is go along with this without torturing those who are helping you.”
Embarrassed and angry, I was two seconds from raining my wrath down on Aiden when I stopped. Aiden was right. I was being whiny and bitchy and flat-out annoying.
Our eyes met, and there wasn’t much heat behind his words, but he was frustrated with me and I hated that, because I was being a brat. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with me. Ever since Laadan and I had spoken, my mood had plummeted. Lack of sleep, maybe?
The sting of Aiden’s admonishment forced me back to Solos, who, by the way, had mud splattered on him like gore at a gruesome crime scene. No one in this world could get me to do what I was supposed to be doing as quickly as Aiden.
Part of me hated that. The other part respected and thanked him for it.
Cheeks burning, I dropped into stance. Solos launched at me. We went at it, blow for blow. He dipped. I spun. More times than not, he ended up sprawled on the ground, kicking up dirt and loose grass on me. My muscles were a little out-of-use, but I was fast—faster than I ever remembered being. When I’d been fighting Aiden the other day, I hadn’t been aware of what I was really doing, not the mechanics of it. But now? Whoa, I felt like Superwoman.
Solos picked himself off the ground, exhaling out his nose. We moved on to disarming one another, which usually had been a weak area for me.
I darted under Solos’ outstretched arm, caught both of his elbows and pulled back, running my hands down to his wrists as I planted a foot in his back. He released the blades and I caught them.
Waving them in his face, I grinned. “I kind of rock at this.”
He turned, brows furrowed. “I don’t even know what that move was.”
I flipped the dagger in my right hand. “It’s called being awesome and it worked.”
“There’s a difference between skill and speed.” He snatched the dagger out of my other hand. “You won’t always have speed.”
“But I have the elements,” I reminded him.
“That you do.” He gave a lopsided grin that didn’t stretch his scar. He was handsome when he smiled like that. Hell, he was handsome even with the scar—kind of like a pirate. “But correct me if I’m wrong—doesn’t using the elements tire you out?”
“That’s what I hear.” Olivia dropped down on a tree stump and stretched out her long legs slowly. “Well, I heard Seth say that once.”
With only one dagger left in hand, I pointed it at Solos. “Using the elements can tire us out, but not as much as akasha. That’s why he doesn’t use it all the time. Zaps him—us, I guess.”
Aiden threaded his fingers and stretched, bowing his back. My gaze followed the movement quite obsessively. Everything he did looked fluid and graceful. “That’s why it’s important not to rely solely on those a
bilities.”
As long as I’d known Aiden, I could count on one hand how many times he’d used the fire element. Each pure had an affinity to a certain element, while the Apollyon could wield control over all of them. Aiden liked to fight hand-to-hand.
Or titanium-to-titanium.
Lea was leaning against a large oak, her hair a mess as Marcus retrieved the fallen blades they’d been practicing with. My uncle handled them expertly. Sometimes I forgot that he had trained as a Sentinel, once upon a time.
Our little recess was over, and under the cloudy April skies we continued until the sun began its descent in the west. Only then did we shuffle back into the cabin, and I guessed practicing akasha was on the schedule for tomorrow. The smell of roasted meat teased my taste buds. I was so hungry I could eat a daimon, but a shower came first.
And as I’d expected earlier, I was all by my lonesome in that endeavor.
All of us sat at the kitchen table and dug in. Someone thanked Laadan for the meal and Deacon about had a coronary.
“Who tenderized the meat? Who marinated and watched it dutifully?” His blond brows lowered as he held his fork like Luke held a dagger. “That would be me”
Laadan nodded. “I peeled potatoes. That was about it.”
“I didn’t know you could cook,” I said, surprised.
Freshly showered, Aiden dropped into the seat beside his brother. His dark hair was damp and swept back, revealing his broad cheekbones. He clapped his brother on the shoulder. “Deacon is one hell of a cook.”
“Hmm.” Olivia grinned as she chased a scalloped potato across her plate. “Learn something new every day, right?”
Not even trying to hide his proud smile, Deacon glanced at Luke. “I’m full of surprises.”
I arched a brow, but shoved a piece of succulent meat into my mouth rather than saying anything. For a little while, sitting at that table with everyone, things were, well, they were nice and warm.
Aiden remained mostly quiet while everyone traded stories, cracking a grin every once in awhile, but still slightly apart from the boisterous group. More than once, our gazes met. Something churned in his gray eyes. I could easily see the sharp slice of sorrow mixing with regret before he looked away.
After dinner, bellies full, the group split into different sections of the house. Lea disappeared with one of the books Laadan had brought with her. Olivia and the boys set up in the living room with a deck of cards. Solos and Marcus went out to check the perimeter with Aiden. It was getting late, and I was trying to stay up for when they came back, but eventually I said goodnight to the group and dragged myself upstairs.
I stopped in front of Aiden’s bedroom, suddenly unsure of where I was supposed to be sleeping. There was another bedroom adjoining the bathroom, which was supposed to be mine, but I couldn’t recall ever sleeping in there. Was I supposed to be in that room? And if I made myself at home in Aiden’s, was I overstepping something?
Shifting my weight wearily, I chewed on my bottom lip. Gods, this shouldn’t be this complicated. Come on, Alex, you’re being stupid. And I did feel stupid.
Heading to my room, I discovered I was severely lacking in the nightclothes department. Going back through the bathroom, I found a few of Aiden’s longer shirts folded separately from the rest of his clothing, as if they’d been purposefully left aside.
I changed into one of the thin cotton shirts that reached my thighs, and there was no way I wanted to go back to the cool, untouched room that was supposed to be mine. Slipping under the covers, I snuggled down, inhaling the earthy scent that blanketed the bed.
It didn’t take long to drift off to sleep. Probably only minutes, and I was floating in a comforting haze, but something made me open my eyes. And when I did, I was staring right into a pair of amber-colored ones.
CHAPTER 13
Seth.
Oh gods, I was staring at Seth. He was here. Impossible, but he was here with me.
My heart raced in a chaotic rhythm as I pressed away. So afraid, so terrified by his sudden appearance, I couldn’t catch my breath.
His arms formed a cage around me. I didn’t dare move, for his skin was too close to mine, his lips a fraction of an inch away. His amber eyes glowed under thick, dark-blond eyelashes. Marks of the Apollyon raced over up his neck, spreading over his cheeks in a vibrant wave of blue over his golden complexion. My own marks responded to his proximity, causing my skin to tingle. The cord snapped alive.
The force of Seth’s presence was everywhere, invading my body and thoughts, but when I finally breathed in, the scent was all wrong. It was earthy with a hint of sea salt. Aiden.
Seth’s lips curved into a satisfied smile and he placed his mouth near my ear. “I told you, Alex. I’d find you anywhere.”
My mouth opened, but my scream was strangled by the lump of terror in my throat as I twisted to the side and jerked awake… awake.
Pulse pounding, I sat up and the bedroom slowly came into focus. My frantic gaze traveled the room, searching out the shadows for any sign of Seth. A sliver of moonlight seeped in under the blinds, spreading across the floor, its fingers brushing over the antique dresser. Under the bathroom door, a slit of yellow gleamed. Other than the tingling marks, there was no sign of him.
It was just a dream—a nightmare. Nothing more, but the adrenaline kicking around inside me begged to differ.
The bathroom door opened and Aiden filled the doorway. Lit by the soft glow of the light behind him, he was a study of shadowy contrasts—shirtless and wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms that hung low on his hips.
That didn’t help my heart or breathing problem.
The light behind him flipped off.
“Alex?” He moved silently to the bed, dipping down beside me. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
I shook my head.
His head tilted to the side and dark hair fell over his forehead. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I croaked out, feeling ridiculous now for overreacting to a stupid nightmare.
Aiden reached out, stopping with his hand a hairsbreadth from my cheek. He pulled away, settling onto his back. One arm stretched out, beckoning me. Stretching out beside him, I placed my head on his shoulder, my hand on his chest above his thundering heart. His skin was warm, comforting.
Several heartbeats passed in silence while his heart slowed down. Why it had been beating so fast, I didn’t know. I snuggled closer, fitting my body to his side, and his arm curled around my waist. I felt his jaw graze the top of my head, and then his lips pressed against my forehead.
I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to tell him about the dream, but instead, something else came out. “They cut out my father’s tongue, Aiden. He can’t talk. They did that to him.”
He seemed to hold his breath for a moment.
“Why would they do something like that?” I asked, and my own voice sounded incredibly small and fragile.
“I don’t know.” His hand came up, pressing between my shoulders, moving in a soothing circle. “There isn’t any justification for something as horrific as that.” There was a pause. “I’m sorry, Alex.”
I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut. We needed to do something about the Breed Order, and I knew Aiden would agree, but discussing something so political at two in the morning seemed out of place.
Stretching up, I placed my lips to Aiden’s, but the kiss turned out more chaste than the hot and steamy action I was going for. His arm tightened, though, and a fine tremor coursed through his body as if he was fighting the pull between us.
Confused, I ceased my attempt at seducing him, since it really wasn’t working, and settled back down, heart racing again. Why hadn’t he kissed me back? Was he still upset over my bratty display earlier while training with Solos? If so, then geez, there was nothing I could do to fix that. Or was it something else? Like the regret and sadness that flashed in his gray eyes?
Out of the silence that had fallen in the room once more, Aiden said, “I love you.”
There was no missing the heavy thread of emotion in his voice. My breath caught. Even with my failed seduction attempt, hearing him say those three little words was something I’d never get tired of. “I love you, too.”
Very little time later, the steady rise and fall of Aiden’s chest deepened. I stayed in his embrace, staring through the darkness at the empty wall across the bed for what seemed like hours before I carefully disentangled myself from his arms and crept out of the bed.
Unable to sleep or stay put, I found a pair of sweats in the darkness and drew them on, rolling the cuffs at the bottom. My bare feet padded off the wood floors as I slipped out of the door and headed downstairs.
The house was tomb-quiet and chilly. Folding my arms, I piddled around in the kitchen, even though I wasn’t hungry or thirsty. Restless and wide awake, with no idea of what to do, I made my way to the sunroom.
It was colder in there, but in a weird way, surrounded by all the plants and windows with nothing but darkness looming outside, it was peaceful.
Sitting at the window seat, I tucked my legs against my chest and stared out one of the windows. Too much was running through my head - my father, training again, the Breed Order, Aiden and his sudden resistance, everything that was happening outside these walls, and…
And I was thinking about Seth, courtesy of the nightmarish visit.
A sharp slice of panic pierced my belly. What had happened had to have been a nightmare. Which was completely understandable considering Seth was pulling a Doctor Evil right now. It couldn’t be anything else, so I needed to stop freaking over it. But that low buzz in the back of my head—it was still there and it signified that, no matter what I did or how strong I was, I would always be connected to him.
And that he could possibly still reach me.
That anxious pang was back, spreading to my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut. Fear was a sour taste on the roof of my mouth. Could that nightmare really have been Seth reaching out to me?
I checked my mental shields. Almost like running my tongue over my teeth after Jackson had stomped me in the face during class, I poked and prodded at the shield, making sure nothing had been knocked out of place or loose. The shield was sturdy, but the traces of alarm lingered.
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