by Judy Duarte
He studied her, watching for a sign that she was going to give in, that he’d somehow touched her heart. That he’d made her see that they were meant to be together. That they’d find a way to make things work.
Yet he feared that if she pulled back again…
Well, he wasn’t sure what he’d do. There was always plan B to fall back on, and as far as he was concerned, the ball was in her court.
Simone had her back to the open garden, yet she felt as though Mike had backed her into a corner. He was asking for a decision, a commitment.
And, apparently, he wanted it now.
“What exactly are you suggesting?” she asked. “That I give up my house and move into yours? That you let your new place fall out of escrow and move into mine?”
“I don’t care either way. I’m willing to compromise. Are you?”
Was she? Quite frankly, she didn’t know. She felt as though she were walking along a balance beam that stretched over a treacherous canyon.
The past was still etched too clearly in Simone’s mind. Would she ever be able to forget her own childhood? Quiet all the doubts that tortured her? Put it all behind her and walk across that narrow beam that Mike swore led to a bright and happy future?
“I need an answer,” he said.
She stiffened. Didn’t he get it? Didn’t he understand that she was in love with him? That she wanted to make that first step, but when he pressured her, she fell back into old habits and patterns?
“Don’t push me,” she said, unable to stop the words. “If it was just you and me, I’d consider it. But there’s the baby to think about.”
“What about the baby?”
“I’m afraid of failing it.”
There it was. The horrible truth. The fear that loomed over them both and prevented her from moving one way or the other on that precarious beam.
“Not it,” he said, his tone a blend of anger and frustration. “You’re pregnant with a little girl or boy just waiting to grow big enough to come out into the world.”
“I realize that,” she said, her voice growing softer, hesitant, and laden with what really concerned her. “But maybe he or she would be better off with another mother.”
Mike bristled. “Are you still thinking about adoption?”
No, not as strongly as before. She now realized that while she feared she’d fail the baby somehow, she didn’t want to give it up, either. Not to Millie, not to anyone.
“Damn it,” Mike said, showing her a sign of righteous anger, of fierce determination he’d never fully revealed before. “You can get that thought out of your head right now.”
What thought?
“My first plan was to marry you and create a home and family,” he said. “But there are other options, and adoption isn’t the only one. I’m not going to sign my son or daughter over to anyone. If you don’t want it, I’ll take the baby myself.”
His words, his determination…his fierce loyalty, unbalanced her.
All along, she’d known Mike would be a fabulous father, but she hadn’t thought he’d want to take the baby on his own. Or that he would be so determined, so adamant about it. And, if anything, she knew without a doubt that she would never give up her baby.
Not even to Mike.
“No, you—” Before she could finish telling him that he didn’t understand, before she could explain that she wanted their child, too, a roaring buzz sounded in her ears, whizzing louder and louder.
And before she could utter a peep, the garden around them began to spin until her legs gave out and everything went dark.
Chapter Fourteen
Mike grabbed Simone just before she hit the ground, and he felt a rise of panic.
His training told him she’d had another fainting spell that was probably pregnancy related. But it wasn’t easy being rational and detached from a patient when she was the woman he loved, a woman carrying the child they’d created.
Damn. Why had he pushed her?
Was he somehow to blame for this?
He dropped to his knees, taking her vitals, and watching her eyes flicker open. She moaned, and he felt both fear and relief.
“Mike?” she asked.
“Yes, honey. I’m here.”
Her eyes searched his like a child awakening from a scary dream. “Please don’t leave me.”
“I won’t,” he said. And he meant it.
He could have called for help, but instead, he scooped her into his arms and carried her into the E.R., where he laid her on a gurney that had been parked in the hall. Then he wheeled her to the nurses’ desk.
“Oh, God,” Jennifer said. “What happened?”
“She fainted,” Mike said. “Will you please call in an obstetrician?”
Jennifer’s jaw dropped, and she paused for a beat before reaching for the phone.
“Call Dr. Kipper,” Simone said softly.
Mike placed a hand on Simone’s forehead, acknowledging that it was cool to the touch, then he caressed her hair, her cheek.
He’d pushed her too hard. But only because he loved her so much.
Moments later, an E.R. doctor hovered over Simone, checking vitals. The resident obstetrician, who explained he’d been sent by Dr. Kipper to make a preliminary exam, arrived and concurred with the diagnosis. The fainting spell had been a result of pregnancy, and Simone would be okay.
“Can we have an ultrasound?” Mike asked the obstetrician. “I want to make sure the baby’s all right.”
“Sure,” the resident said. “I’ll put in an order.”
Mike stood beside the gurney and reached for Simone’s hand. “I’m sorry for being so tough on you.”
She gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. “You didn’t cause me to faint, if that’s what you mean.”
“But I did upset you.”
“Only because I’d begun to think you might be right about us. Then, before I could admit it to myself or to you, I felt you pulling away from me. And it was…more than a little unsettling. I can only imagine how you must have felt each time I did that to you.”
Mike’s heart took a tumble in his chest as he realized that they just might be able to work things out after all. “I wanted you and the baby to be a part of my life, and I tried to force your hand. I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted, but I’m afraid I owe you one, too. I love you, Mike. And that scares me. I’ve never had anyone love me back before.”
Mike brushed a kiss across her lips. “It won’t scare you for long. You’re going to get used to it, to me. I promise. And as long as I know you love me, we can work it out.”
“You’ve made a believer out of me.”
She started to sit up, and he placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back down. “I’d feel better if you stayed still for a while. I don’t want you passing out on me again.”
Simone’s gaze wrapped around his heart and held on tight. “I’ve never had anyone worry about me before.”
Mike’s grin brushed aside the concern on his face. “Then you’d better get used to it, honey. You’ve become a priority in my life. And I’m in this for the duration.”
Simone studied the man who loved her, the man whose concern was so clearly written across his brow.
Isobel had said that trust was earned, and Mike had clearly earned hers. It was also a decision that was made. And today, at this very moment, she was going to consciously choose to trust Mike—now and forever.
You can’t change the past, Isobel had said, but you can change your perception of it.
Simone realized her friend had been right. She’d thought that an emotionally distant mother and a bad childhood had been a millstone around her neck, an awkward set of baggage that would hold her down for the rest of her life.
But she’d come to realize that it had merely been one step in her life’s journey, a journey that led her to Mike and the unconditional love she’d been craving for as long as she could remember.
“I can hardly
believe it,” she told him. “I’m going to create the family I never thought I could have—with you. It’s going to be a new experience for me, so be patient.”
“It’s not so new. You’ve got a family of sorts in the hospital, people you respect and care about, people who respect and care about you, too.”
He was right. She’d developed at least two close relationships with coworkers—Ella and Isobel.
But the most important relationship of all was the one she hadn’t even expected, the one she had with Mike.
He loved her; he really loved her.
“What did I ever do to deserve you?” she asked.
He shot her a crooked grin. “You showed me the real Simone. And then I knew my bachelor days were over.” He bent forward and brushed his lips across hers, gently but possessively. It was a kiss filled with promise.
“Excuse me,” Jennifer said. “Simone, we’re ready for that ultrasound.”
Moments later, as Simone’s belly was exposed and slathered with the cool gel, the resident obstetrician pointed to the black-and-white moving image on the screen.
“Everything looks good to me,” he said.
Simone’s breath caught, as her eyes focused on the form of a baby, its little heart pumping and beating strong, its arms and legs moving. A sense of awe filled her heart, her throat.
“Can you tell if it’s a girl or boy yet?” Mike asked the doctor.
Simone turned her head to the doctor, listening intently. Suddenly, it mattered very much whether they would have a son or a daughter. She needed to start thinking about names and decorating a nursery.
“It’s too soon to determine the baby’s sex,” the doctor said. “But what are you hoping for?”
“We don’t care,” Mike said, his eyes glistening with joy and wonder. “We just want the baby to be healthy.”
He was right. Simone turned her head again, back to the screen. Back to their baby. And her own eyes filled with happy tears.
At that very moment, Simone knew that she would love their child no matter what sex it was, no matter who it looked like.
A bond had begun to form.
Or maybe it had begun to form the first time she’d looked into Mike’s eyes and recognized the love that burned there.
“Well,” said the doctor, “I think everything looks great and on schedule. Maybe you ought to just go home and take it easy for the rest of the day.”
“Yes,” Mike said. “Let’s go home.”
Simone had no idea if he was talking about his house or hers, but it no longer mattered.
Love was wherever Mike was.
* * *
On the way home, Mike mentioned that he needed to stop by his place and pick up Wags.
“Did you ever purchase more food for him?” Simone asked.
“Uh-oh. I meant to do that, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Do you mind if I get some now? The pet shop is just ahead on Lexington.”
“No, that’s fine. It’ll give me a chance to check on Millie. Fred said she had a flu bug that was giving her fits.”
Moments later, Mike pulled in front of Tails a Waggin’ and parked the Jeep. Once they’d both exited the vehicle, they walked hand in hand into the pet store.
Something felt very good and right about being with Mike, and Simone suspected that it wouldn’t take any time at all for her to get used to being part of a couple.
When they entered the store, they’d agreed to separate, though. Mike went after the puppy food, and Simone wanted to say hello to Millie.
For the first time during one of her visits, she wasn’t greeted by Popeye Baxter.
She spotted Millie, though.
Her friend was seated on a stool behind the cash register. She’d bent forward on the counter, where she was resting her head on her folded arms.
“Millie?” Simone asked. “Are you okay?”
The brunette looked up and managed a smile. “Oh, hi. I was just resting my eyes. I’ve been so tired lately that I find myself wanting to nap constantly.”
“Are you still fighting that virus?”
“I’m afraid so.” Millie blew out a weary sigh. “I just can’t seem to kick it. Fortunately, it seems to come and go. But that’s probably because of the excitement at our house these days.”
“Fred mentioned you were going to have a few kids for a while. Are they still staying with you?”
“Yes, they are.”
“How long are you going to have them?” Simone asked, wondering if Millie ought to be more concerned about her health.
“It’s kind of a long story. Joe and Connie Prescott, a couple in our church, were foster parents for three small children. The girls are three and five. And the boy is nine. But when Joe had to transfer out of the country for business, they weren’t going to be able to take the kids. Those poor little ones had been through a lot already, and the Prescotts hated to see them split up, which could have easily happened. It’s so hard to find foster parents willing to take more than one child.”
“Where are the kids now?” Simone asked.
“Greg, the boy, and Fred are at Little League practice. And Kimmy and Julie are with Gladys, Fred’s mother. They’re making cookies.” Millie yawned. “Boy, I hope Fred gets back soon. I’d love to close up early and go home.”
“Have the children found a permanent home yet?” Simone asked.
A broad smile stretched across Millie’s face, dimpling her rosy cheeks. “As a matter of fact, they have. Fred and I have applied to be foster parents with the agreement that we eventually be allowed to adopt them.”
“That’s wonderful. How’s it working out? I would imagine your lives are going to change dramatically.”
Millie chuckled. “That’s for sure. But Fred and I don’t mind a bit. And we couldn’t be happier. The same goes for Popeye, who refuses to leave the children’s side. The cats and the bird are still getting used to the hullabaloo, though. But I’m sure it won’t take them very long.”
“That’s probably true.”
“You know,” Millie said, “I have to admit I was a bit worried about Fred’s health. I hoped having the children wouldn’t add too much stress to his life.”
Simone nodded, sharing her friend’s concern.
“But it’s the weirdest thing. Since those kids came to live with us, Fred’s coloring is much better, which leads me to believe that his heart condition is showing signs of improvement. I don’t know if it’s a divine miracle or just the result of sheer happiness. But we’re not going to worry about it.”
Simone wasn’t sure what was going on, but she was glad to hear that Fred was feeling better.
“Now,” Millie said, “if I could just kick this lingering virus that I’ve got, we’d all be happy. Thank goodness neither Fred nor the kids have caught it from me.”
“What are your symptoms?” Simone asked.
“I seem to feel just fine when I wake up in the morning, but as the day wears on, I start feeling more and more nauseous. And I just seem to be tired all the time.” She blew out a sigh. “But maybe juggling parenting duties with Fred and trying to work in the store has taken a bit of a toll on me. I’m sure I’ll be feeling better soon.”
“You’re probably right.” Still, Simone couldn’t help wondering if the intermittent bouts of nausea and being tired might be pregnancy symptoms. She’d heard of cases where couples who’d been trying unsuccessfully to conceive for years finally gave up, only to find themselves pregnant when they least expected it.
But she didn’t want to offer Millie false hope.
Either way, it seemed as though the Baxters had been granted the family they’d always dreamed of having.
Just as Simone had.
As Mike approached carrying a sack of puppy food, he tossed a smile Millie’s way, greeting her. Then he waited as she rang up the charges.
After paying for their purchase, they were back in the Jeep and on their way to pick up Wags and take him home.
&n
bsp; Home. Never had the word held so much love, so much hope.
Could Simone be any happier?
Ten minutes later, they arrived at Simone’s house, and Mike carried Wags inside.
They still hadn’t made any plans about where they would choose to live, but it seemed as though they had all the time in the world to decide.
Simone suspected they would live at her house while working together to fix up the old Dennison place. In the meantime, as the dogs played happily in the backyard, apparently glad to finally be together, she and Mike closed the back door and walked through the kitchen on their way to the bedroom.
He’d insisted that she lie down for a while and agreed to rest with her.
As was her habit, she glanced at the counter, where her answering machine sat, the red light indicating that she had a message.
So she stopped long enough to punch the play button and wait for the recording to sound.
“Simone? It’s Mom. Please give me a call when you get in.”
She glanced at Mike, who gave a little shrug. “If you decide to call now, maybe you should do it from the bedroom so you can at least put your feet up.”
His concern for her well-being strummed something deep in her heart. “I feel fine, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll lie down while I talk to her.”
“It does,” he said with a smile.
She returned her mother’s call, and interestingly enough, they didn’t have to play phone tag.
“Hey, Mom. It’s me. What’s up?”
“Oh hi, Simone. I just called to let you know that I spoke to one of the counselors you suggested.”
“How did it go? Did you find it helpful?”
“As a matter of fact, I liked her. A lot. We had our first session last night, and I think it went…very well. I probably have a long way to go, but I wanted to thank you for encouraging me to contact her.”
“I’m so glad you think she’ll be helpful, Mom. And if you ever want or need to talk to me about it, you know you can, right?”
