by Amber Lynn
That point had been made clear to Ryan the second he joined the team, even if he didn’t understand it. It was hard to describe how different it felt to be a part of a team that really came around the players like the Tigers did. His former team wasn’t really different, but he didn’t feel like he’d somehow joined the inner circle. His bitterness about the trade was still messing with his psyche, so looking back at the team he didn’t always see things the way he had at one time.
“We should probably get back to the party,” Ryan suggested, trying not to dwell on his feelings too long.
“That’s a good idea. Leaving Nels in charge of the grill wasn’t the best option. He’s easily distracted and I wouldn’t be surprised if we walk out there to a grill ablaze.”
Dylan patted Ryan on the back and the two walked out of the shed together. Ryan was immediately looking for Lisa in the crowd, and he didn’t have to look far because she was on the way towards them. As was usual anytime he saw her after being away from her, even for a few minutes, Ryan’s breath caught.
Since they’d been married, she’d been joining him in the gym, so she’d lost some of her lumps, as she called them. Ryan had been worried that she’d go overboard and try to turn into a stick figure. The lumps were turning into muscle, making her stronger and giving herself more confidence. The new look was intoxicating.
“I’ll let you two talk, but I recommend you remember that breathing in and out is important,” Dylan said as he smiled at the couple and started walking away.
When he was a few yards away, Lisa wrapped her arms around Ryan and nuzzled her head on his chest. “Should I be concerned you guys just spent ten minutes hanging out in a shed?”
Ryan kissed the top of her head as he shook his head. “No, I doubled checked before I went in that there wasn’t a wood chipper he was about to shred me in. It’s probably best we talk about what was said later and try to enjoy the rest of the day.”
Lisa lifted her head and the look of concern on her face hurt him a little. He never wanted her to worry about anything, and a simple look was all it took for him to want to fight off whatever was bothering her.
“It’s not bad. He just gave us another option for our future to think about. They’re talking about starting a hockey school and want me to be involved.”
Ryan hadn’t wanted to talk about it, but he had to say something. He should’ve known that going in, but it was worth a try to see if they could make it through the barbecue without talking about it.
Lisa’s face lit up as she wrapped her arms around him tighter and put her head back down. “You’re right, that talk can wait until later. Let’s get back to celebrating the day.”
Ryan knew he’d picked the right woman when he’d pushed for a second date with Lisa. There would probably never be books written about the love they shared, but he was certain the world would be a better place if more people could find what they had and weren’t afraid to go for it.
Epilogue
“Tell us more about what this experience means to you,” a sandy-haired man said as he looked down at a piece of paper. He seemed hesitant to meet Lisa’s eyes, which had her worried about what he had written on the paper he seemed obsessed with.
Lisa was already tired of the questions. She hated answering them and was extremely uncomfortable with the fact they were being filmed. Her hair and makeup was apparently flawless, according the stylist in charge of making sure she looked good for the cameras. Lisa didn’t particularly care to be dolled up with cosmetics and the cute sundress she was wearing, but they seemed to frown on her suggestion that she wear jeans and a t-shirt.
“Do you ever get tired of hearing me say the same thing over and over? The answers aren’t going to change from the last time I had to answer the questions.”
The editors who made the little clips they were working on had to work magic with what Lisa gave them. She rarely ever just answered a question. When they shot her and Ryan together, she was a little better about keeping on point, but when it was just her, she liked to make it difficult. She hoped that eventually they’d decide it wasn’t worth it.
They’d taken her out of a studio, hoping to find somewhere she was a little more comfortable. Sitting on the grass in the middle of a park was an improvement, but she’d warned them location wouldn’t change her desire to answer stupid questions.
“Our goal is to get you to open up more and maybe say something different. Everyone has a story to tell. We’re waiting to hear yours.”
“You’re waiting to hear some sob story that will make people vote for me. I’ve already told you my story. If you want to make it more cinematically pleasing, that’s fine, but don’t expect to learn anything new and earth-shattering.”
Lisa had joked with Ryan about having better luck on one of the talent shows on TV than finding someone to notice her, but it was merely a joke. Ryan had pushed her to try to step out of her comfort zone and actually audition. It had taken him over a year of convincing, but she finally waited in line and then waited even longer in a holding room for her opportunity.
The judges claimed to love her and she’d been able to move along in the process, right up to the finals, which was what they were shooting the video for. Lisa had watched the reels they put together for the other contestants. She couldn’t say all of them had a sob story, but it sure seemed like that was what the producers were going for.
Lisa had told them from the beginning they weren’t going to get one from her, and she was sticking by her instincts. Voting hadn’t seemed to be a problem for her, and even if it appeared she was slipping in the votes, she wasn’t going to bring the world into her life that way.
“None of the story you’ve told us includes the changes within the last year or so in your family dynamic. Why don’t you talk about that?” The man seemed like he was trying to be helpful, but the tone of his voice told Lisa he wasn’t talking about delving into the fact that she’d gotten married and had her first child.
She already talked about what having Travis meant to her and she and Ryan had filmed scenes together, so the world knew how much they loved each other. She’d let them in so they could know who she was on a day-to-day basis as a wife and mother, everything else was private.
“I think we’re done here,” Lisa said as she started taking off her mike.
She should’ve known something was up when a new guy showed up to do the interviewing. She thought maybe they were hoping a new person could do something with her boring, down-to-earth demeanor. She hadn’t expected that they found someone to dig up dirt on her and were putting a new face to the new line of questions.
“Wait, wait,” the man said as he held out his arms and came closer to her.
Lisa really didn’t care about his want to stop her. Even if they got back on track, she was going to need a break for a while, so she could tell anyone who would listen they could go to hell if they thought they could manipulate her into talking about a subject that was off limits. She hadn’t officially told anyone it was off limits, because she didn’t want them knowing about it, but it was definitely something the world would not be hearing about on the show.
Things were still being mended between her and her family, but they were on the right track. Learning someone was talking about what had happened meant they were probably going to backtrack a little, but Lisa assumed it wasn’t one of her parents leaking the secrets.
Technically, she hadn’t confirmed the man frantically trying to get her to stay put was talking about the same subject. She was good about jumping to conclusions, so she took a quick breath and looked him square in his worried eyes.
“Exactly what changes to my family dynamic are you talking about?”
The question didn’t erase any of the man’s worry. He looked behind him to the camera crew and people who liked to run things from the shadows. Just the fact that he was searching for some input let her know whatever he was looking for wasn’t good.
When he turned bac
k to answer the question, he looked a little paler than the bright lights around them made him naturally. “You know, about your mother dying in a car crash and finding out that your brothers and sisters were really your cousins.”
The mending was unraveling. Someone had a big mouth, and Lisa had a couple ideas of who it was. She’d deal with the problem later, but it was more important to deal with the issue of having a limited number of hours to shoot the promo reel, which wasn’t going to go away.
“Just so you know, I will never talk about that with any of you. You can bring in all the new guys you want, but as far as I’m concerned, my story is what you’ve already heard.” Lisa looked around the man to the people in the shadows to make sure they heard her loud and clear. They weren’t really in the shadows, but she liked to think of them that way since they didn’t do a lot of talking.
“I hope you understand that we had to try for you. Bringing out all the stops in the finals can sometimes make or break it for a person.” It was the man in front of her speaking. She really wished she would’ve spent more attention to his name when he’d introduced himself. It was John or Tom, something really simple like that, but she couldn’t remember.
“If that’s what it takes to win this, I don’t want to win,” Lisa said simply. “Now if you don’t mind, I think I’m going to take a break for a few minutes so I can talk to my husband and feed my baby.”
Ryan had bottles for Travis, so Lisa wasn’t really required, but she liked to use the excuse when she needed some air. It was hard for people to turn down the request of a mother wanting to tend to her child.
The man nodded and moved out of the way. Ryan and Travis were sitting across the park by a playground, watching other kids play. Travis was only two months old, so he wasn’t ready to swing or slide himself, but he seemed to like watching the other kids playing.
Ryan had sensed something was wrong, like he always seemed to be able to do, so he was already up and deliberating whether he was going to walk over. Lisa could tell by the way he would take a step and then stop to look over his shoulder at the playground. He liked to be there to swat away the troubles of the world for Lisa, but at the same time he wanted her to know that he trusted her to do some of that by herself.
As far as she was concerned, he deserved to be wearing a superhero cape. Lisa often found herself stuck trying to come up with the right word for how Ryan made her feel inside. There was love, but that wasn’t enough. He made her feel smart, safe, beautiful, and so many other things. The sense that she got that she’d never be alone when it came to facing the world was probably the biggest for her.
Lisa had never really gotten a sense of what love meant growing up. She thought she knew from watching her parents, but no matter how much they said they loved each other, she just couldn’t see the two of them in the same sense she saw her and Ryan. She realized there were different kinds of love and she was happy she’d found the one she had.
When she started taking steps in Ryan’s direction, he was quick to close the distance, so they met a little closer to the cameras than the playground, but far enough away from the cameras that she wasn’t worried about people listening in. With all the equipment they had, she probably should’ve been. She figured they wouldn’t like the lawsuit she’d throw at them if they recorded something and used it without her permission.
“Is everything okay?” Lisa liked that he didn’t immediately come out and ask what was wrong. It had to be clear on her face that something was, but he let her tell him one way or the other.
“It felt like a good time for a break to feed Travis. Do you want to head to the car so we can do that a little more privately?”
Ryan looked down at the diaper bag hanging over his right shoulder with at least two bottles in it, depending on whether Travis had already had his lunch. Lisa knew he wouldn’t suggest they just use a bottle, but he liked to make sure she was aware he was capable of taking care of the baby too. He was funny about always wanting to do his share, even though he claimed to know there was no way to make up for the fact that she’d carried Travis and had to push him out of her body.
“How long do you have? We could head to the hotel and get a little lunch of our own.”
Lisa sighed. She’d been disappointed that the live shows were filmed in California instead of near their home in New York. She didn’t like living out of a hotel, but it was only a matter of time before they could get back home, at least for a short time. Based on the comments she’d received during judging and the outpouring of fan support, hotels were going to become a way of life for a little while.
Thankfully, Ryan’s job with the school was flexible enough that he could travel around and do more of the recruiting aspects of the business while Lisa figured out exactly where her dream would take them. Her job as a waitress had been over about five months into her pregnancy, thanks to niggling back pain, so she didn’t have anything other than taking care of her family to hold her down in one place.
That being said, she loved the house she and Ryan picked out and had made their home during the last year. She couldn’t see leaving it behind on any kind of permanent basis, so she hoped being noticed and chasing her dream let her check in more often than not.
“I’m sure it’s not enough time to drive all the way to the hotel and back. They’d probably freak out if they saw us take off and immediately send out a search party.”
Lisa held out her arms to take Travis from Ryan. As soon as she had her little brown-eyed boy in her arms, Ryan was quick to wrap his arm around her back and start them in the direction of the parking lot. Lisa looked behind her to see if anyone had been assigned to tail them, but all she saw where about a dozen sets of eyes following her movement. It was kind of creepy.
People seemed to think she had a good chance of winning after her performance the next day, so she understood them wanting to keep track of what could be their next star. Even if she didn’t win, the thirty or so emails she’d gotten from agents and producers since being on the show told her that she had finally caught people’s attention.
“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on? I about ran over and snapped that twig of a guy in half for getting up in your face a few minutes ago. Do I need to make sure we have enough bail money in order to get me out of jail on a murder charge?”
Lisa laughed at the thought. It was sad that she’d probably pay money to see Ryan snap the guy in two. That said a lot about how the pressures of being in the limelight were skewing her judgment a little.
“Let’s try to keep everyone intact for at least another day. We’re having a disagreement about what I should talk about during the last interview. Someone, my money’s on Olive, apparently thought it’d be a good idea to share the news about my ‘family dynamic’ as they decided to call it.”
Ryan growled, a noise that almost made Lisa want to purr. Some of the little sounds he made were so sexy, and the protective nature of his growls made Lisa just want to curl up next to him.
“I know you’re trying to work things out with them, but I sometimes think you should take what you can from your parents and forget about the rest. Whether they’re technically your brothers and sisters or not, you were raised like you were and that should mean something.”
Lisa leaned her head on Ryan’s shoulder and sighed again. It was turning out to be a day that necessitated a lot of sighs. Lisa wasn’t quite ready to give up, but she wasn’t really looking to get the brother and sister dynamic back. All she wanted was for them to respect her. Whoever decided to reveal their secrets clearly didn’t do that.
“Things will either work out with them or they won’t and I’ve come to accept that. Let’s talk about something a little happier, shall we? Do you think I’m going too daring with my song choice and arrangement for the finals?”
It wasn’t necessarily a happier subject, but it was something on Lisa’s mind. She thought she’d been playing it pretty safe belting out songs people could already hear on
the radio from other artists. For the finals she was singing one of her own songs. No one had complained about her choices before, but she really wanted to show she could do more than just mimic someone else.
“You do know that I’m a little biased here, right?” They had made it to their rental car and Ryan opened the door for her as he asked the question.
Lisa settled herself in her seat, laying Travis down on her legs as soon as she got comfortable. Ryan got in and quickly handed her a blanket to cover up as she lifted her shirt and got ready to feed the baby. The car offered pretty good privacy, and Lisa didn’t tend to flash everyone while she was feeding, but Ryan liked to make sure no one else got a peek of his wife’s breasts.
When Travis was off to the races feeding and Ryan was relaxed in his place behind the steering wheel, she went ahead and answered the question. One of the things she loved about Ryan was that even if he was biased, he gave her the honest truth.
“There isn’t a person I trust more to share their opinion.”
Ryan reached over and put his hand on her thigh. “Since it’s kind of our song, I’d prefer you not share it with the world, but I think it’s the right move. You’ve sung the hell out of those other songs on the show, but you don’t get quite the same level of you in them that I see when you’re singing one of your own songs.”
Lisa felt the same exact way, which was why she made the decision. The people from the show wanted to show the world who she is, but they were going about it the wrong way with their little video clips. For people to really know who Lisa is, they needed to hear and feel it through the words she sang. They’d be able to pick up every emotion she felt when she wrote the song, and that would tell them a lot more than her answers to generic questions.
“Have I ever mentioned how much I love you, Ryan Gulliver?” Lisa asked as she leaned over to kiss her husband.
“Maybe once or twice,” he responded as he stared into her eyes after the kiss.
