by Lara Swann
Jay was shaking his head, and my stomach knotted despite the way his face softened momentarily as he looked at me. “It’s too late for that, kiddo. Forget the people behind this - you’ve got no hope in hell of finding them before someone tracks you down. This has gone all the way through NYC’s underworld already. The city isn’t safe for you anymore. Find some gods-forsaken hole-in-the-ground village somewhere - or better yet, another country.”
My heart dropped. “But—”
“No buts about it. You’re lucky your face and name is an unknown - that you’ve spent more time in other cities than here over the last several years - but that won’t hold for long. Get out of here before they get a lead that you won’t be able to shake. You had a good run, boy, but maybe it’s time to retire.”
I blinked at that, the drastic implications of this one fucking mistake slowly dawning on me. Everyone in this business knew that was a possibility - piss off the wrong person, client or victim, and you might find yourself needing to disappear. But I’d never truly thought about it before. There was a reason I hadn’t retired yet, and my bank balance made it obvious enough it wasn’t about the money - if I wasn’t doing this, what the hell would I do?
This was who I was. Who I’d always been.
I shook my head at Jay, running a hand through my hair. “I can’t retire, Jay, I’m not—”
“Then find some other place to do it. The blood trade exists the world over - just get some distance. And hell, in ten years, when Viktor’s death is merely a sore memory, or they’ve found someone else to take the fall? Maybe you can come back.” He waved his hand as if he wasn’t casually suggesting the end of my life as I knew it.
Then he looked at me, and my expression must have given something away, because for once I saw him soften and he moved forward to clap my shoulder. “Just leave for now. Don’t risk your life chasing shadows when these guys are on your heel.”
“What do they know? What’s out there?” I didn’t want to think about what he was saying, so I tried to focus on what I needed to know, seizing the opportunity for information instead. Maybe I’d spent my life avoiding putting down roots and migrating from city to city - but it was something else entirely to be barred from everything I’d ever known.
Jay grimaced and shook his head. “It’s chaos out there - the bratva and the Italians telling different stories, suspecting each other while trying to pretend like they’re working together. That’s a plus for you, even if it makes my job hell. They don’t have much on you either - trawling through all the hitmen in the city at the moment, but since they have to suspect all the affiliated killers too, it’s a long list. You should be alright for a few days, though if you said the guys who hired you want you gone - that’s one group who know exactly who you are.”
I grimaced at that, but allowed myself a little relief that the bratva didn’t know who I was - not yet.
“Thanks Jay—”
His gaze narrowed at me, and he interrupted with a frown before I could finish. “Alessa, though - she’s everywhere. Her name, her picture. The reward for her skyrockets almost hourly - on both sides. What the hell are you doing with her anyway?”
The idea of that was worse than if they’d been close behind me, and I cursed myself for this fucked up situation for what felt like the hundredth time, hesitating in front of Jay as I realized we’d come onto the one part to all of this that I didn’t want to discuss.
“She was with Viktor when I—”
“Yes, I know that. Everyone knows that.” Jay’s voice was impatient, irritated with the deflection. “So why the fuck isn’t she dead along with him?”
I looked at him, guarding my own expression as I saw in his eyes that that’s exactly what he would have done. What any of the other hitmen I knew would have done. The thing I’d been telling myself to do since I’d picked her up.
“I didn’t know what was going on - I wanted as much information as I could get, and I thought she could tell me something.” I hedged my answer, knowing it wasn’t going to be enough.
“Okay.” His tone of voice made it clear that he thought that was bullshit, but he narrowed in on the more telling point, making me glance away from that penetrating gaze. “And now?”
“I—” I had no idea what to say. I couldn’t even put together an answer for myself, let alone find something that Jay would accept.
She’s innocent. But I’d killed fuck tons of innocent people, and I wasn’t going to let Jay think I was going soft.
I haven’t fucked her yet. Maybe, but that was a terrible reason to hold her captive. Especially since there was zero chance of that happening while I did.
You don’t have a fucking clue why you’re keeping her.
In the end I just shrugged, and his gaze narrowed. “Well, you need to take care of that problem, Leo - and sooner rather than later. You’ve got a good chance without her, but everyone is out looking for Alessa Santini—”
My gut twisted again, as it had every time I’d considered this, and to my surprise there was a wave of anger and resistance underneath it.
“I’m not killing her.” My voice was resolute as I finally acknowledged the decision I’d made from the moment I’d first seen her, and I met Jay’s shocked expression.
His eyes widened as he looked at me, flicking a glance to the closed door behind us, before his brow furrowed and he scowled at me. “Don’t tell me you’re going soft for some spoiled mafia girl.”
I ground my teeth, but for once the accusation didn’t affect me. I was one of the best hitmen out there, and I didn’t need to kill a helpless girl to prove my worth. “I’m keeping her so she can’t talk - but when this is done, I’ll let her go.”
Jay stared at me, but I just crossed my arms and met that strong gaze with my own.
“You brought her here, Leo.” The words were ground out, and I winced at the implication. She could reveal Jay as much as me - I was just counting on his connections to pull through for him.
“I know, and I’m sorry. I didn’t have a choice, or I wouldn’t have done it. But with the favors you’ve done for the bratva, Santini shouldn’t be able to come after you.”
“And when the bratva find out that Viktor’s killer paid me a visit, and I said nothing? If they’re going to find out anyway when your captive girl starts talking, I should tell them about this now.”
I breathed in deeply, a muscle in my jaw twitching as I weighed Jay’s words. It was true - I’d put him in a piss-poor position, and if he didn’t tell the bratva, it would cause all sorts of trouble later. He might have been the closest thing I had to a father figure, but I couldn’t begrudge him handing over my identity. Jay had always been the hardest man I knew, and it would be the right decision. Besides, with my attitude towards Alessa, I was pretty sure the weakness I’d shown would undermine whatever fondness he might have had for me.
I nodded at him. “You should do what you think best. Thanks for the advice, Jay.”
Even if it meant my pursuers were much closer behind me, it had been right to come here. I’d needed to know what was going on in NYC’s underworld - and more than that, I never would have considered disappearing as Jay suggested.
I nodded once more as he didn’t say anything, then turned for the exit, already trying to work through what it would mean to leave everything behind. I didn’t know whether I could go for it, but—
“Leo.” Jay’s voice halted me as I reached the door, and I turned back, one eyebrow raised in question.
He strode up to me, hard eyes meeting mine again before something I didn’t recognize flashed in them, and he grunted with a shake of his head. “I’m not going to tell them. Come back here tomorrow evening and I’ll set you up with a clean car. Just get out of here, eh?”
I blinked in surprise, looking at him again, my own brow furrowing as I tried to work out what had changed his mind. The car would help as well - I hadn’t even begun to think about that yet, but he was right, using mine would be a risk. I couldn’t see any
advantage for him in helping me out, but…Jay never did anything if it didn’t benefit him somehow. Deciding not to question the stroke of luck, I gave him a small smile instead.
“Thanks, Jay.”
He gave my arm a quick squeeze and then moved past me into the main room. I followed, hoping that Alessa hadn’t caused any more trouble while we’d been talking - then thinking that maybe I should have walked out first, in case she was planning to jump us again. Seemed stupid against two trained hitmen, but…that hadn’t seemed to bother her last time.
And this is the girl you refuse to get rid of?
I ignored that thought and saw with some relief that she was just hanging back towards the end of the hall. I moved to join her with a quick nod.
Jay followed me, and I turned to give him one last smile.
He grasped my shoulder again. “I’ll let you know how things develop here, if I can. And if I do find something about whoever planned this, I’ll try and tell you. But you can’t count on that, Leo.”
I nodded again, my chest easing somewhat at that news. For some reason, he was going to help me - as best he could. And maybe there was a chance Viktor’s killer - his real killer - could be found. Then maybe I wouldn’t have to—
“I mean it.” Jay scowled at me again, appearing to read my thoughts as well as he had when I was fourteen.
I gave a wry smile and nodded again. “Point taken.”
Then I turned to Alessa and gestured towards the door. “C’mon, time to go.”
To my surprise, she darted back from me, looking between us for a few seconds.
“Sure thing. Just…” She turned to Jay, gesturing down at herself. “Don’t suppose you have any…more suitable…clothes here?”
I stared at her, unable to believe her boldness. She was meant to be my hostage, dammit - she shouldn’t feel comfortable being so daring. Then I caught the way she was tugging awkwardly at the shirt that fell to mid-thigh, and figured that maybe she was just more uncomfortable about the clothes she was wearing than whatever reaction we’d give her for asking. I fought the twinge of guilt for dragging her out like this - it wasn’t my fault I hadn’t stocked my safe house for a hostage, damn it.
I turned to see Jay’s reaction, only to find him looking her up and down, eyes widening as if he’d only just seen what she was wearing, drinking in the sight of her long legs. I was hit simultaneously by incredulity that he hadn’t noticed before and a twist of something unpleasant that he was looking at her like that. I had to stop myself from taking a step forward in front of her before he looked back at me, then between us silently.
After a few moments, he nodded. “Maybe. I’ll see what I can find.”
He didn’t catch my raised eyebrows as he turned and headed for the stairs into the house proper - Jay was never usually this accommodating. If I’d have asked, I was pretty sure he would have laughed in my face.
Alessa and I waited in silence for him to come back, both avoiding looking at each other. She seemed to know I was pissed about the question, but as much as I wanted to tell her that she shouldn’t have asked, I couldn’t begrudge her for doing it. And if Jay had some clothes, I guess it solved another problem that wasn’t even large enough to be on my radar.
He came back a few minutes later with a bundle in his arms, handing over a pair of jeans, t-shirt and ankle boots to Alessa. “I don’t know if they’ll fit—”
“Anything’s better than this - thank you.” She said eagerly, clinging to them with obvious gratitude.
He nodded, and as we turned to leave ducked behind one of the shelves in the basement, rummaging around somewhere before returning with a wide-brimmed hat and a pair of sunglasses. He gave me a knowing look, and added them to the pile as I fought a smile. Alessa looked surprised for a moment, before she caught onto their purpose and scowled at me. I gave her an unrepentant grin and gestured towards the door again. This time, she obeyed without objecting.
As I passed Jay with one last smile of appreciation, he stepped in close and shook his head at me. “That girl is going to be the death of you, kiddo.”
I faltered for a moment before continuing behind her, not acknowledging the way Jay’s words stirred something uncomfortable within me. I was almost certain that this time, he wasn’t talking about her leading my pursuers straight to me.
Chapter Eight
Alessa
Leo drove us back to the safe house in silence, brooding about whatever he’d discussed with his friend - Jay, I think it was. I wanted to badger him with questions about what they’d discussed, and whether he was any closer to finding whoever had killed Viktor so that he could let me go and I could get the hell out of here.
But I didn’t think any of that would be appreciated, and from the way his eyes had looked like they were going to pop out of his face when I asked Jay for some clothes, I figured I’d give him a bit of time to settle. I’d probably be more likely to get an answer that way, anyway.
Instead, I clutched the clothes to me carefully and let myself enjoy the relief that at least I didn’t have to walk around looking like this anymore. Truth be told, I wasn’t exactly sure they’d fit, but I’d do anything I could to force myself into them. Even walking from the side of the house to the car had been embarrassing as hell, and having Jay see me like that was well…gods, I’d thought I was going to die. Leo was such a bastard.
I flicked another glance at him as I realized just how much my attitude had shifted.
You’ve gone from thinking you’re going to die…to worrying about dying of embarrassment. That’s a plus. Probably.
I wasn’t quite sure when my fear had faded to just a few tense moments, but after I’d decided to stop resisting so much last night, I’d finally been able to fall asleep. The faint headache behind my eyes told me I certainly hadn’t had enough sleep, but I guessed it had given me some perspective. So when Leo had roused me in his usual infuriatingly cocky way this morning, I’d reacted as I would if I didn’t believe he was going to kill me at any minute.
And I was still alive - so clearly, something about my instincts for murderous kidnappers must be working okay.
He was still the world’s biggest jerk - but unless something crazy happened, it didn’t seem like I was in any imminent danger. Which finally ended the exhausting mind-numbing terror and did wonders to change my state of mind.
So apart from protesting at his jerk-like behavior, I’d gone along this morning without constantly searching for a way to escape. If there was no immediate threat then I had time to work out a plan properly - and if my father found me, or Leo actually did as he’d said and let me go before I found a way out, then that worked just as well.
It had been tempting when they’d both left me alone in that basement full of god-knew-what - even to look around, see whether I could find anything my father might be interested in. I’d always been kept strictly out of his business, but now that I’d been thrown neck-deep into it? I didn’t see why I couldn’t get involved. But that man - Jay - had been more than a little intimidating, and I had no way of telling whether he’d know if I snooped around. I didn’t want to risk him coming after me - especially not if he worked with the bratva.
Instead, I’d focused on more immediate concerns - like getting hold of the clothing in front of me. If I couldn’t get away easily, at least I could make this kidnapping more comfortable.
I snorted at the thought, and Leo looked at me askance. I didn’t bother to elaborate, smiling to myself instead as he finally turned back into the safe house. I’d paid a little more attention this time, and I recognized as we moved into Union City. I might even be able to find this place again, for my father. Of course, Leo would be long gone by then, but at least I could offer something.
The need to be useful and prove my worth to my family was riding me hard now that my marriage to Viktor had failed. I was sure my father would find someone else for me, of course - but the thought of that was starting to make me antsy in a way it hadn’t
before. Maybe if I showed I could support him in other ways, he wouldn’t press the marriage for alliance so hard?
A sinking feeling told me to forget that right now. Even if I came out of this with something slightly useful, I’d never be invited into the business itself - my father had made it clear all my life what role I played in supporting our family.
Leo stopped the car and we got out before I let that affect me too much. It was a concern for another time.
Right now, I was here doing something my father could never have imagined. Unknown place, unsanctioned man - hell, eating junk food and ignoring his rules. I could focus on that for now.
Did you just appreciate your kidnapping?
That thought had me stop stock-still at the entrance to the house, before I told myself firmly that no, I most certainly did not.
Leo turned back to look at me as I stopped, frowning before I scuttled in behind him. He closed and locked the door behind me, then gestured through to the main sitting room.
I stood expectantly as he retrieved a laptop and sat down on the worn sofa, starting it up and completely ignoring me.
Really?
I still wanted to know what was going on. I coughed pointedly.
Nothing.
Leo had gone from being unable to stop looking at me to not even glancing my way. What the hell had he discussed with Jay?
I mean, sure, trying to track down the men who’d wanted Viktor dead probably required a fair bit of attention, but…I couldn’t help feeling a little irked that his interest in me seemed to have disappeared.
Not that you liked that attention, remember?
I flopped down on an armchair opposite him in irritation. Maybe it was just that it had been new - and exciting in all the wrong ways. And now it appeared Leo had been distracted by the next shiny thing to chase.
Bastard.
Shaking my head, I finally convinced myself to get a grip, and stood up abruptly.
“I’m going to go change.” I announced it loudly, but Leo only gave me a brief glance.
