by Lara Swann
I’d never regretted any of my kills - hell, once they were done I barely even thought about them beyond analyzing the hit for any potential weaknesses. Regret was a waste of time, and I was pretty sure most of the guys I’d killed deserved it - even if only for being weak enough to let it happen. That had always been my philosophy, and I still believed every word of it.
And Viktor…if any of them deserved to die, the Russian mafia boss did. But Alessa’s involvement had made me uneasy about it anyway. I was used to the rough underworld I lived in, but she didn’t fit there at all. Maybe she was a mafia princess, but when I looked at her, all I saw was innocence.
I was pretty sure that night had been the first time she’d seen anyone killed, and I didn’t like that I’d been the one to show her how ugly the world really was. Any other day, I would’ve believed stripping someone of that naive innocence would do them good, but after seeing her last night…I found myself wanting the exact opposite. To take it back and let her think that she was protected and safe. That murderers and kidnappers didn’t exist.
It was stupid as fuck, but the thoughts nagged at me anyway. And the idea of taking away someone she was close to disturbed me…maybe I didn’t give two fucks about anyone else, but I knew most people didn’t operate that way. Hell, I’d exploited it often enough to know what those attachments could be worth.
I’d killed her fiance. She’d handled the whole thing better than most people would have, but now that I’d actually thought about it, I was surprised that she could even look at me.
My fingers drummed on the steering wheel as I tried futilely to push it all away, to remind myself that I had no reason to care about her - her life, relationships, the drama of my kill, any of it. She was a hostage, kept with me to ensure her silence before I left for good. That was all.
I knew I was lying to myself even as I insisted on it, but I kept on. I couldn’t afford anything else.
But that didn’t stop my mind from circling like a hawk on Viktor’s death.
Why the hell do you care?!
“Hey,” The quiet word was out of my mouth before I could stop it, and Alessa swung around to look at me. I stared out at the road instead of meeting her chocolate-colored eyes, but I continued anyway, adjusting the radio volume down so we could talk even as everything inside me screamed at me to stop. “I’m sorry, you know. About Viktor.”
I shrugged awkwardly, still fixing my gaze on the uninteresting landscape ahead of us, refusing to see whatever shocked or hurt expression crossed her face. I could still feel her staring at me, and the silence between us thickened. My peripheral vision registered the moment she turned away from me to stare out of the window again, not saying anything, and my blood pounded hard in my veins.
“Were you close?” My idiocy continued unimpeded, propelled by some twisted desire to both torture myself and to know more about her. About what I’d taken from her.
Fuck.
I didn’t even want to know the answer to that question. I didn’t want her to have to think about it. But I couldn’t stop myself.
She turned back to me, still out of the corner of my eye, and I could almost sense her incredulity. I was being an asshole, I knew. Even more than usual. But for once, it wasn’t even coming from that asshole place inside of me.
She said nothing for a long moment, and I decided to shut up about it. There was no reason that my comments on that subject could be welcome, and I didn’t want to bother her anymore.
“That was the first time I met him.” She gave a humorless laugh, but I didn’t think it was directed at me.
I blinked in confusion for a moment. And she already knew she was going to marry him? I guessed maybe the mafia families were old-fashioned like that - marrying off for alliances. I’d never thought about marriage at all before, let alone among the mafia elites.
“Did you want to marry him?” I couldn’t help my curiosity, however ill-placed it might be.
“I’m the daughter of the Italian mafia - want doesn’t come into it.” The mocking tone didn’t sound like her at all, and I glanced over to see her shake her head, as if mentally correcting herself.
I’d amused myself before by thinking of her as spoiled and innocent, but that comment made me wonder whether her life had actually been as easy as I’d imagined. I wanted to comment on it, but decided my previous plan to shut up about the whole thing was better. This wasn’t a conversation I should be having.
At least maybe his death wasn’t so traumatic, then. Maybe.
She turned back to stare out of the window and I let it go, but her voice came again a few minutes later. “I keep thinking I should care that he’s dead. But instead all I can think about is how I didn’t get to have that first time…”
The last part was muttered and it took me a moment to register it.
“What?” I swung my head around to stare at her, my eyes leaving the road for the first time this trip.
She can’t have said what I thought she did.
She can’t have.
“Nothing.” She started as she noticed me again, her whole face turning red. “It was nothing. I didn’t say anything.”
She shifted her whole body away from me, leaning her head against the window and then resolutely ignoring me. Her cheeks were still flaming red, and I struggled to turn my attention back to the road. That answer only confirmed what I thought I’d heard.
She’s not…she can’t be…can she? Fuck.
All the hot, dirty things I wanted to do to her. Still want to do to her. Fuck.
My cock hardened and pressed against my jeans, making me shift in my seat as I clutched the steering wheel harder. There was something so god-damn hot about knowing that.
I’d been drawn to that wide-eyed innocence all along, but now that I knew she was a virgin it was all I could do to restrain myself.
All thoughts of Viktor had disappeared, swept up in a sudden burning lust that I just knew was going to drive me crazy for the rest of the journey.
Unable to help myself, I sent a dirty grin in her direction. “Well, princess, my offer still stands - if you want to find out what you’re missing out on.”
I was gratified by the faint shiver that ran through her, before her hand flicked out and turned the volume on the radio up loud.
I grinned to myself and took the hint, focusing on the drive again. It didn’t stop my imagination from spiraling out of control at those words, picturing just how I’d make a perfect first time. I’d never been the slightest bit interested in virgins before. Girls with experience knew what they were doing - you didn’t have to spend time reassuring them, coaxing them into something that was just a little harmless fun, or worrying about the weight of that responsibility.
But Alessa. That would be different. After the time I’d spent teasing and provoking that innocent quality of hers, it would be something else entirely to watch it slowly melt away into the kind of sexual confidence that could tear a man’s heart out. And she’d have it, too. She’d shown enough fire already that I just knew it would filter through into the bedroom. And unlike any other woman, she wouldn’t be gone the next day, so I’d have plenty of opportunity to build that confident fire up inside her—
Fuck. Stop that.
It was one thing to fantasize about my hands on her body, my mouth teasing those pert tits and wandering down to suckle and play with her, or the way I’d awaken all those half-formed desires…but I couldn’t forget this was Alessa. And that meant none of it would be happening - especially not taking days to give her the kind of experiences that she’d never forget. Letting myself think about getting her in bed was dangerous enough, even if it was almost too instinctive to stop, but going further than that…wasn’t something I did. Ever. And especially not with Alessa.
Probably a good thing she’ll never let you get that close.
As the sky started to darken and the monotonous drive wore on, I reflected uneasily on the strange disappointment that filled me at that thought
.
If it had been anyone else - if the situation had been the slightest bit different - I would’ve planned and executed a heat-filled, slow seduction long before now. But Alessa was my hostage. Despite how easily she made my cock harden and my heart pound, I couldn’t bring myself to do more than tease her with hot promises.
I wasn’t going to force her to deal with a real advance from her kidnapper.
Chapter Ten
Alessa
“My offer still stands…if you want to find out what you’re missing out on.”
Leo’s words reverberated through me, making me even more uncomfortable on the long journey away from New York - from everything I knew.
I was alone with a strange man - a killer, murderer, kidnapper…a sexy asshole who seemed to amuse himself driving me crazy one moment and lighting me on fire the next - and on my way to Chicago.
My fear flickered between the idea of being alone in Chicago without a hope of my father finding me…and the forbidden feelings Leo brought out of me.
Those words had voiced the secret wish I hadn’t let myself think about. The idea of finally experiencing something I wanted - of taking it for myself.
I should be repulsed by his offer, but hell - it wasn’t my fault that my kidnapper happened to be everything I’d ever fantasized about. The powerful presence, hard muscular body, and…as much as I hated it, the cocky arrogance of a man with far too much sexual confidence.
The kind of guy who could make my first time as special as I’d wanted it to be. As amazing I’d known, deep down, that it wouldn’t be with any of my father’s chosen men. With Viktor, it would have been about satisfying him. But Leo…all he could talk about was making me scream. And selfishly, I wanted that.
Damn it. Fine. You want him. Doesn’t mean you’re going to do anything about it.
I couldn’t do anything about it - I knew that. My father would be furious at me just for these thoughts. He might not be here, and maybe those bad decisions he’d always kept me from were sounding more attractive by the second, but I knew what was expected. I was Alessa Santini and I couldn’t forget my responsibility to my family.
Even if a small part of me whispered that no one would know. Or maybe they even expected it - I’d been kidnapped by a man without morals. That sort of thing was par for the course, right?
Except Leo seemed to have far more to him than that. Maybe he acted like an unrepentant killer, but…he’d held me last night as if he’d cared - which I’d tried to push out of my mind since the moment I’d woken up - and he hadn’t killed me, despite everything I’d done.
Not yet.
I bit my lip, not really believing what he said about letting me go in Chicago.
If he got me there, I had no idea what would happen. How would my father ever find me?
Absorbed in my anxious thoughts and the drifting landscape outside my window, I didn’t notice the darkness until we started slowing - turning off the Interstate and onto a small road. I jerked out of my half-doze and looked around, but didn’t see any signs of the large city I was expecting.
A sudden half-aware panic rose up inside me as the lights of the Interstate faded away.
Was Chicago just a ploy? Was he really bringing me out into the middle of nowhere to kill me, despite everything he’d promised? Why the hell did you trust the word of a killer, Alessa!
“What—what’s going on? Where’s Chicago?” My voice came out high despite my effort to keep the terror out of it.
Leo sent me a puzzled glance as he made another turning. “It’s late - time to stop before I pass out. Chicago is another 4 hours away - you didn’t really expect us to make the trip in one night, did you?”
I let myself start breathing again. That wasn’t the reaction of a man about to kill me. I hoped.
Neon lights and an off-road motel appeared in front of us, and I relaxed a little, giving Leo an awkward shrug in non-explanation of my panic. I wasn’t going to tell him that I’d thought I was about to die. And in truth, I had no idea how long it would take to get to Chicago by car - I hadn’t left New York often, and my father would never have considered driving when he could fly instead.
Leo pulled into the car park as I tried to force my body into an alertness it wasn’t ready for. My last thoughts before dozing off had been about getting back to my father, and I was determined to work something out. Which meant paying attention.
We got out of the car and I stayed close to Leo as we walked towards the motel. I might be trying to get away from him, but the motel had a rough, worn look to it and the flickering light in the car park felt more ominous than reassuring.
My eyes lingered on the way the moonlight caught on the large muscles of his bare arms, dropping down to appreciate the tightness of his ass before I thought better of it. Maybe my thoughts pre-doze had been about escape, but during that half-dream state? That had been all Leo. The echo of his words, the imaginings of how he’d fulfill those promises, the thought of him naked…
I flushed as that came back to me, glad that the dark night hid it well, and ducked through the door he shoved open to the run-down place.
The bright light hanging from the ceiling did more to cast shadows dancing over the place than actual light, and I blinked as I waited for everything to come into focus. A wiry man stood behind the ragged desk, paging through a large book in front of him with half an eye on the television in the corner. I heard the telltale exclamations of an angsty drama, making me discount the idea that he was extra-vigilantly observing CCTV.
Leo stepped forward and cut straight to the chase. “Got a twin room for the night?”
The man eyed both of us for a moment - hovering over me for a long look as he took in the hat-and-glasses ensemble, until Leo shifted not-so-subtly in front of me. I was just impressed that he’d actually requested a twin room. After a moment, the man nodded and swiped a key from underneath the desk before handing it over with a grunt, waiting as Leo forked out some cash and dropped it on the table.
That was apparently all it took to get us a room, and Leo took my hand as he started down the corridor with determination. I managed to resist jumping in surprise, and then tried to control the shiver that ran across my skin. Now was not the time to get worked up like that. He was probably only doing it to make us seem a couple and lessen any suspicion.
The idea of that sent a strange thrill through me anyway, and I reminded myself to behave as we found our room. I needed to stop with these inappropriate thoughts.
Leo flicked the lights inside on and then I was distracted by trying to cover my reaction to the bare room. There were two thin beds almost side-by-side, with worn covers that I hoped were clean. The bare bulb blinked above us, and blinds with panels missing let in some of the flickering light from outside. A small TV on top of the lone wooden dresser stood next to the door leading into the bathroom.
A chuckle beside me told me I obviously hadn’t concealed my reaction well enough. “Not what you’re used to, princess?”
My nose wrinkled, but I turned away from him, settling down with slight trepidation on one of the beds, while he brought a few toiletries and supplies out of the shoulder bag he’d removed from the car. I guessed he was used to this sort of thing.
At least there are two beds.
My mind flicked back to how good it had felt to be held close against his body last night, and as my pulse leapt the traitorous part of me questioned whether I actually wanted a separate bed.
“I’ll go first - get rid of all the spiders for you.” He shot me a teasing smile as he headed to the bathroom, and I wrinkled my nose.
“I’m not afraid of spiders.” It was muttered, but he laughed anyway, the low sound tired even to my ears. I remembered he’d been driving for hours - after being woken up the night before, too.
Actually, I wasn’t sure when he’d last slept properly. And he was still going. If his stamina and alertness wasn’t part of the reason I couldn’t get away from him, I would have be
en impressed.
The shower came on as that thought crossed my mind, and I started. The door was still open, but the bathroom was about as well-equipped as I’d imagined, and steam started flowing out. For a moment, I was distracted by the thought of Leo’s so-close naked body just behind that door, water running down hard, tattooed muscles, and the idea of the steam’s heat around us as I stepped in—
Then I kicked that thought, and realized that for the first time, his eyes weren’t really on me. In the middle of a motel. Without handcuffs, or restraints, or anything stopping me…from walking right out the door. I’d almost given up on the idea of escape, and now that the opportunity was right here, it was suddenly terrifying. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.
But…I needed to get away before we got to Chicago. This place was closer to New York, and away from the security of wherever Leo was planning on keeping me. There was still so much that could go wrong - but damn it, I couldn’t just wait and let whatever he was planning happen.
I glanced around hurriedly for anything I could use to my advantage, but he’d taken the bag with him into the bathroom - and I was sure the keys to the Toyota would be in his jeans, next to the shower. That was no good, but hey…there were people here. Someone must be willing to help me, right? And I didn’t know how long he’d be in there for - I didn’t have time to plan this properly. This was the opportunity I’d been waiting for.
My heart in my throat, I turned the TV on and hoped it would buy me a little time, then gave one last glance at the bathroom door and quietly slipped out of the motel room.
Outside, I felt the strange lurch of freedom - and tried to work out what the hell to do with it. We were in the middle of nowhere. I looked at the doors around me, but I didn’t quite dare start knocking on them and hoping that someone could help me.
Instead, I headed back to the guy manning the reception desk, trying to work out everything I could use.
I had my father’s name. I knew there was a reward for me. And I had whatever natural goodness lurked in anyone’s heart around here.
