by Lara Swann
Everything exploded within me, pleasure and pain and need and hurt coming at me with a power I couldn’t resist as my climax rushed over me. I let it sweep me under, taking me deep as I let go of everything I’d held so tightly under control.
Stars shattered across my closed vision and my body vibrated with a hum of pleasure as I collapsed on top of Seth’s warm, powerful body.
Chapter Fourteen
Bella
After that, it was pretty much official - we were screwing. Or unofficial, I guess, since we were sneaking around trying not to get caught.
It was insane. Crazy hot lust. All the time. Everywhere. Once we’d started, we couldn’t stop ourselves - all that pent up need forcing itself out at every opportunity until I wondered whether we’d ever satisfy the demands of our bodies.
I’d messed around with guys at University, but it was nothing like this - like Seth. Maybe after him the first time, I hadn’t wanted anyone that there was a risk of me really liking. Or maybe there just isn’t anyone like my infuriating, badass Navy SEAL.
We told each other that it was just a bit of fun, the spark of the forbidden, the thrill of not getting caught. That we’d be over it soon. I didn’t believe a word of it - but for once in my life, I didn’t care. I might not be able to have an apartment in San Francisco without getting mugged, or pursue the things I’d always dreamed of, but I was going to have Seth. I wanted him - more than I could remember wanting anything in my life. And for once, I was damning the consequences of that to hell.
It couldn’t work. It couldn’t last. We knew that, but it didn’t matter. Right now, it was perfect.
Everything else could wait.
The spate of organization and chaos ramped up around us, as the house was taken over by various wedding cake designers, flower arrangers, invitation writers and on and on, in an endless coming-and-going that made my head spin. Add to that the simultaneous planning of the military gala and everyone was far too busy to notice us disappearing every so often, when the heat of our glances and the not-so-casual grazing touches became too much and we needed a respite to sate the burning lust that lingered under every waking moment. And most of the sleeping ones too.
Seth was spending more time up at the house now - a state I vastly preferred to him avoiding it - taking the excuse of helping out with wedding and gala and pleasantly surprising his mother, who gushed on and on about how much she appreciated it, how helpful he was, and what a wonderful change this made. Forget the fact that it was my experience they were both drawing upon, and Seth spent far more of his time diverting my energies than helping. Not that I was exactly complaining about that.
He made a face at me every time she started on, and I’d roll my eyes until by the end of it we were both trying not to laugh.
My father, of course, was notably absent - work taking him away from the necessities of planning and organizing.
Cora didn’t seem quite as capable as either she or my father had made out, either, and I worried occasionally when she seemed disturbed by my father’s lack of involvement. Seth brought it up at one point, with an unnecessary caution that made me grin.
“Is your father always this, err…unhelpful?”
I’d laughed at him, stepping into his arms and leaning up to kiss him yet again. I thought I’d never get tired of the way his arms closed around me, the light touch of his stubble which was starting to make me paranoid about an obvious redness appearing around my mouth.
“Yeah, he doesn’t do planning stuff. He’s hard figures, big decisions, strategic visioning - not operational affairs.”
I repeated the oft-quoted words as Seth shook his head in amusement.
“Still, Cora should be able to pick up some of that slack - I know dad’s really happy about having someone to rely on now. Wouldn’t hurt for me to get a break either…particularly now that I have so many ways to use that break…”
He took the eager invitation of my hips grinding against his, reaching down to cup my ass and pull me into him before murmuring softly against my lips.
“Yeah, good luck with that. Until this month, I’ve never seen her sort anything. Dinner was always whatever random objects took her eye on the few occasions she bothered shopping.”
The stark words drew me out of the familiar desire that had been coiling around me, and I frowned up at him, confused.
“What? Dad’s talked about her home-made meals more than once…”
His bitter laugh cut me off, and suddenly the mood for sex died.
“Yeah, Mom’s reinvented herself real well - don’t remember any of that crap growing up.”
I bit my lip as sudden awareness flickered through me, looking up at the harsh set of his face. I hadn’t known much about his life when we’d been chasing each other back in school, but I’d heard the rumors - and they weren’t good. Pity flashed before I could stop it, and I saw the exact moment he noticed - stiffening under me as his ironic expression turned to swift anger. His grip tightened almost painfully as I sensed that barely controlled violence under the surface of his gaze.
“Don’t you dare - that stuff doesn’t matter. Hasn’t mattered for years. She can do what the hell she wants now - if she’s worked her shit out, I’m glad for it, but it’s none of my concern. I’m past it.”
“I…”
I didn’t have any words. I’d wanted to express my sympathy, my concern, but he couldn’t take it. Seth wasn’t a vulnerable kind of guy, and I’d known instantly my reaction had been the wrong one. But something inside me hurt at the thought of him growing up like that.
“Don’t.”
He kissed me instead, and I stopped trying. His mouth was alternately soft and hard, the passion and need there unchanged but with a tinge of power held closely in check that both scared and excited me. I gave back as good as I got and after a few moments, he softened a little, letting his firm, powerful body against me take away any thought that he was anything other than the hot alpha male intent on pleasure.
It was a kiss to remember, but for once we didn’t go further than that. And afterward, he disappeared for a few days.
It drove me close to crazy, that sudden withdrawal with no warning, no explanation, no idea if he’d ever be back. It also tugged at my heart and made me realize just how dangerous this game that we were playing was. I knew the effect he had on me - knew there was no fighting it, especially not now. But when it was ripped loose, I wasn’t quite sure how I’d deal with it.
When he came back though, he was the cocky, arrogant bastard he’d always been, and we came together again like nothing had happened. I didn’t say anything about it - whatever it was that we were doing, it was unspoken. There was no arrangement between us. No commitment. No guarantee or expectation that he’d be there the next day.
But for the moment, I ignored that. He was here now.
And in the chaos my father had made of my life, having him now was all that mattered.
* * *
“You know, you were supposed to be a fucking bad lay.”
Seth was propped up on one arm, looking down at me as I traced the eagles outlined on his hard pecs with a finger. For some reason, I couldn’t shake my fascination with the elegant ink. I covered it with my mouth, tongue flicking along the dark lines as he moaned, before glancing up at him with amusement.
We were lying together on my once-innocent bed, a rare moment of quiet where our muted desire wasn’t the focus of our attention. We’d sated that not too long ago anyway, but somehow our attempt to get dressed and get on with our day had ended up with us back here in bed. Again. It might even have been my fault this time…I think I’d objected to his t-shirt until I’d had a chance to look at the tattoo in more detail.
“Ah yes, one fuck was supposed to horrify you enough to end it all between us - I remember.”
His eyes glittered as his mouth leaned in to capture mine, hand running through the hair that was almost permanently freed from the ties I usually used when around him.
There wasn’t even any point taking it up these days - the moment we came together he’d release it again. Seemed obsessed with it - not that I was really objecting when it felt so good to feel his touch.
“Yeah, fucking disappointment, Bella.”
His mouth and tongue put the lie to his rough tone, and I couldn’t help laughing at him. With the constant outlet for our passion, the banter had become an expression of something much sweeter than the frustration it had been used for before.
I cast a meaningful glance over to my laptop screen, which had held the same page of information on the MCAT syllabus for the last several days.
“Well, maybe I’d better fix that - and then after you’re sufficiently repelled, perhaps I can finally get back to doing something useful.”
I extracted myself from his arms and flopped back on the bed with a long breath, raising an eyebrow at him.
“Okay - no blowjobs until I come a hundred times. Now fuck me as I lie here like a dead fish.”
My eyes sparked with amusement as I waited for him to laugh, but instead his expression turned intense, looking at me with a consideration that had me shuddering. He moved slowly on top of me, the deliberation in his actions stirring that part of me that had come to anticipate that shift of his mood to an alpha SEAL badass acting with deadly intent.
“You know, even as a dead fish, you’re sexy as hell, Bella.”
He was above me now, just one hand caught in my hair and gently caressing my cheek. I bit my lip to keep from moaning. There was something about feeling that tenderness when he was demanding and dominant as fuck that did something to me. His mouth nibbled at mine, then down my neck and to that sensitive spot as it joined my shoulder, while I tried to keep my legs from curling up around him.
How could he do this to me with barely a touch?
“…and I’ll tell you why…”
He continued on, working his way down until he was at my breasts and the bra I’d barely managed to put on. It only took a tug of his teeth to undo the front-facing clasp and I felt the familiar wetness at the evidence of his prowess.
“…because, baby, whatever you claim, the moment I start doing this…”
His face nuzzled against me, mouth and tongue working as my hands clutched the covers on the bed. My chest was already aching and ready for him, tits hard as his mouth closed over them. I gasped and he chuckled softly against me.
“…you can’t help but react. And I’m addicted to your reactions, babe.”
I groaned as he proved his point, keeping up the valiant defense of the position I’d claimed for at least a few minutes while his mouth, tongue and hands drove me crazy.
Bastard.
“Fuck, Seth.”
One clever flick of his tongue at the same time as his hand had my panties flooding with heat again and I gave up. My legs came up around him and I grabbed his head for a kiss.
“You are such an unfair, infuriating, piece of…”
The amusement in his laugh made me melt again and his hand wandered down to the belt of my jeans - a choice he’d objected to vehemently, claiming skirts were better for access. I was loathe to see his point right about now.
“…the best ass you’ve ever had?”
I growled and bit at his lip, which he reciprocated as he pushed back, holding me down on the bed in a way that never got old. I loved feeling the strength and power of his impressive body overtaking me. Somehow it had a way of making me feel safe and protected, even when it was being used to throw me around and pin me for his passion. Or maybe especially then.
“We just…did this, you know. I was kinda serious about doing something useful.”
My objection was only half-hearted though, the same way any I made were…I liked seeing his passion overcome our better sense.
“Should’ve known better than to give a SEAL a challenge, then…one hundred times, hmm? And does earlier count?”
I gaped at him, my eyes opening wide at that as I shuddered to think about just how serious he was.
The sensitivity of that…
As his head nuzzled at my breasts again, I moaned lightly, concerned just how that might have changed our afternoon plans.
“Annabelle!”
A sharp knock at my door had Seth and I looking at each other in shock. Heat flushed my face, but Seth was up within moments, disappearing to my balcony before I could quite gather my wits.
Damned SEAL reaction times.
“Just a…just a minute!”
I grabbed for the bra to either side of me, hooking it again and then darting up to find a t-shirt to slip on quickly.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
I took a few deep breaths before opening the door, dreading to think what I looked like. The frown that crossed my father’s face as he saw me only made my gut sink lower.
“Are you alright, Annabelle? You’re all red, and…your hair.”
Of course.
It was probably a state, tangled and unkept from Seth’s attentions. And my father had never really liked it down, either.
“I…er, yes. I just…had a bath.”
“In the middle of the day?”
“Umm, yes. I…wasn’t feeling that well.”
The lie came awkwardly to my lips, and something in me clenched at saying it. I never lied to my father.
He laid the back of his hand against my forehead and nodded as he considered.
“Hmm, you do seem to be burning up.”
Plus one for embarrassment.
“I’m sure it’s fine. Don’t worry. Did you need something?”
“Not if you’re getting ill - but if you do feel better, I think Cora would really appreciate your help with working out the collection of funds for this charity ball. She seems to be struggling a bit.”
The last was said with a slight puckering of his brow, and I nodded.
“Sure thing, dad. Will do.”
He nodded and turned to go, then paused as something seemed to occur to him.
“You’re spending a lot of time in your room these days. Is everything alright?”
“Ahh, yes, fine. I was just…starting prep for the MCAT. You know how long studying takes.”
His expression eased, and he gave me a small smile.
“I’m glad to hear that, Annabelle. If you need any help with it, just let me know - I can arrange a tutor if you’d like.”
“Sure, thanks dad. I’ll see how it goes.”
He shut the door and I slumped back against it, breathing hard.
Fuck.
A crazed laugh tried to bubble up inside me but I pushed it back down. Lying like that was pretty terrible and the adrenaline surging in me had me shaking slightly, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to regret it much. Not considering what I’d just been doing…
The balcony door opened again and Seth came back in - still wearing only jeans. He eyed me and then he did laugh.
“So? I suppose you didn’t tell him to stop interrupting us?”
“Damn you.”
The words were amused though, and he came to sweep me up in his arms again, carrying me back to the bed - a good thing, too, as my limbs felt suddenly weak.
“This whole thing is so messed up, Seth.”
His eyes were serious for a moment, then he shrugged.
“I’ll stop anytime you tell me to.”
His mouth nuzzled at mine again, hands sneaking up under my t-shirt and trying to undo my hasty attempt to get dressed.
“Stop.”
“You have to mean it though, babe.”
He continued his slow seduction of my body again and I cursed him with a laugh.
“Bastard.”
“Just giving you what you want, girl.”
I shook my head, his attitude beyond belief, but driving me crazy anyway. Pushing at him, I rolled us over so I was on top - something that only happened when he felt like it, since my attempts to move him were almost impossible.
“Seriously, what are we doing?”
/>
He shook his head, eyes still lit with that smoldering fire that never quite dimmed around me.
“You really need to stop asking that question. It’s never once been a good idea.”
Actually, it had always been a much better idea than completely ignoring the issue, which was what we were doing. It just wasn’t what either of us wanted to think about.
“I’m showing you just what a Navy SEAL can do, babe. Giving you the time of your life. Making your body light on fire and come alive under me. Everything you’ve ever wanted.”
The casual arrogance sent its usual spark of irritation, amusement and desire through me and I shook my head.
I didn’t ask what would happen after he’s shown me all that, and then left. What that would do to me. I’d decided to deal with that when it came. It wasn’t fair to ask him for answers he didn’t have.
Especially when it made no damn difference anyway. This was intoxicating, invigorating, insane and amazing. I wasn’t giving it up until I had to.
“I probably shouldn’t be distracting you from other things, though.”
I glanced back to the laptop and sighed, the conversation with my father replaying again.
“Yeah, guess I have an exam to prep for.”
He frowned at that.
“That wasn’t what I was talking about, Bella. Forget that nonsense - what happened to the other stuff you wanted? The forensics thing?”
I raised an eyebrow, surprised it wasn’t obvious as the familiar disappointment swirled through me.
“You were there that day - didn’t that show you just how useless those ideas were?”
“It showed me you’re fucking not living in the Tenderloin, that’s all.
He snorted, then brought me down for a quick kiss.
“It also showed me you should definitely pursue the other stuff.”
“What?”
At my confusion, he shifted us, taking us back to being side by side as he looked down at me, fingers idly tracing the curves of my body.
“I saw you with those guys, chatting them up about working in a crime lab - they were seriously impressed with you, babe.”
