by Lara Swann
“What you care about seems to change every few minutes.”
He winced as the double meaning belatedly hit me.
“And who.”
“Fuck it, Bella, that’s not true—”
“No, I’m done listening. You walked out. You left. Done.”
But I wasn’t done. Damn it, I wasn’t.
And when he closed his mouth over my own, taking my words and turning the heat of anger into a gathering passion, my body gave in - I leaned into him as everything I’d tried to push away came back.
How could he do this to me? Affect me like this?
It was insane. Impossible.
That didn’t matter as it washed over me like a desperately missed friend, the comfort and safety and warmth of his embrace promising to drive away every problem I’d ever had.
That didn’t stop the anger - the fury at him, myself and the whole damn world for doing this to us.
I couldn’t begin to understand everything I felt, let alone form a coherent reaction as his tongue parted my mouth and he penetrated deep inside me once again.
I wanted to be angry - damn it, I was angry.
But every moment with him stole that away as all those cursed hopes came back.
He’d come back. For me.
Too late.
I pulled back to meet his eyes, seeing the storm in my own reflected there.
“Fuck it, Seth. No. I spent the whole damn morning wanting you here, hoping desperately to see you suddenly appear. Picturing you storming in and making everything right.”
My breath was coming quicker now, whether from anger or desire I didn’t know, the pure strength of emotions driving me.
“But you weren’t fucking there. You weren’t. And now…it’s too late.”
The surprise on his face as his hand ran through my hair made me pause for a moment, and he frowned at me.
“I was there, Bella. I saw the wedding - the whole thing. But I didn’t think you’d want me ruining our parents’ big day with a sudden appearance - especially with the way we left things.”
I stared at him.
What?!
I hadn’t seen him, at all. I’d been looking for him. He hadn’t been there.
“Seriously?”
He nodded, shifting closer to me as his arms came around me again. I wanted to shrug him off, but it felt too good.
“Seriously. You really wanted that?”
“Well…it would have been a good gesture.”
I shrugged as I briefly considered the reality of my little fantasy, and his eyes crinkled with amusement as he nuzzled lightly at me.
“Okay, got it - next time, big, romantic gestures. I love you, baby.”
My cheeks heated a little, but I didn’t think it was from embarrassment as he kissed me again, his hands slowly rubbing my back and promising to relieve some of the tension there.
Everything conflicted within me as I tried to process the crazed emotions of the last few days, and reconcile the promise in his eyes.
Laughter from a little further up the garden path interrupted us, and as my eyes flicked towards it, he drew us back into the small circle of trees.
“Come with me, Bella. Come talk to me.”
“I don’t want to.”
The objection didn’t stop me from moving with him as my body refused to break that firm contact.
Truth was, I had no idea what the hell I wanted. I couldn’t work it out, and having him here was making it impossible.
The seclusion of the trees took me by surprise, the noise and lights of the party fading away.
It focused my attention fully on Seth, and from the way he was looking at me, I could see the same thing in his eyes. Or maybe he’d been looking at me like that the whole time. Those swirling gray depths made it impossible to think of anything but the power and depth of that intense focus.
The rough callouses of his palm stroked across my cheek again, playing in my hair as he held me close, but as much as it was affecting me I didn’t encourage him. I couldn’t.
“You didn’t care that they were getting married? That we’re now step-siblings?”
I still couldn’t believe that he hadn’t intervened - didn’t even seem bothered by that. I didn’t understand it, even as that controlled intensity came into his eyes again.
When he looked at me like this, I felt like we could do anything together - that whatever he said was going to happen.
“No, I really don’t. They can do whatever the hell they like - that’s never mattered. The only thing that matters is the choice we make, Bella. What we want.”
“You made it pretty damn clear what you wanted, Seth.”
“I want you, Bella. Completely. Utterly. You.”
He punctuated each word with a kiss as those steamy, passionate eyes bored into me and my body shuddered with pleasure and need.
I wanted so badly to give in, to believe him and be whisked away in the warmth and certainty he’d always given me.
Instead, I pulled back, the anger rising with the desire as I felt all my messed up emotions starting to surge past that place I’d locked them away.
Everything I’d forced myself to detach from was there waiting for me, and it terrified me.
“You fucking left. The one time I stood up to my father - for you - and you left me alone to deal with it. You fucking proved me wrong. And then I had to live…with them…with this…with the whole god-damned mess while you weren’t there!”
Everything I’d thought or felt throughout the last few days came crashing over me as my hand slapped against his chest for emphasis and I broke down into tears. His arms came around me as he murmured soothingly, but I didn’t want it. I shifted and fought against him, but he just took it, the strength of his body secure and solid against the fury and pain and despair while my emotions wrecked me.
God-damn, but I hated this.
I wasn’t an emotional kind of girl. Or I hadn’t been until I met him. And now…
“I…can’t…keep…doing…this.”
My words were punctuated by gasps of breath as I buried my head against him, my body shaking with the power of how I felt, but his solid support never wavering.
“We won’t. I promise you, Bella. I won’t leave again - not if you still want everything you said you did.”
That spawned a fresh wave of fury as I looked up at him.
“So my god-damn opinion matters now, does it? I told you what I wanted before and you didn’t fucking care. My whole life, my father thought he knew what’s best for me - and now, you…you did the same damn thing. Walked away without even discussing it. I…wanted…you. And you just decided I shouldn’t. I’m fucking done with people deciding my life for me.”
I saw the pain flash through his eyes as I compared him to my father, but I didn’t let up. It was what I’d thought so many times the last few days.
His hand was light on my cheek as he responded softly.
“I know. I’m sorry, baby, it was wrong. It was your decision and I should have believed in it. I was just so fucking caught up in everything that had happened to Ryan and Becky. It kept playing out in my head, and I couldn’t stand the thought of doing that to you.”
He paused for a moment, moving us impossibly closer together as my head rested against his chest, his strong hand stroking through my hair while he took a couple of breaths and continued in that mesmerizing voice.
“I couldn’t accept your choice because I was terrified that once you realized it was the wrong one…you’d walk out a few years later. I couldn’t deal with that. I didn’t trust you to know what it meant, and accept it. And I’m sorry, because I should have. You’ve always trusted me, and you deserve that in return, Bella.”
I looked up at him, my heart in my mouth. I’d never seen him like this - so used to his normal cocky arrogance that the sudden vulnerability took me by surprise. He was being open and honest in such a serious way that…it felt real.
“And I do now. I tr
ust you, baby-Bella. If you tell me you want this - want me - I’ll believe you.”
I found myself caught in the beauty of his intense gray eyes, the way they framed his words with that deep, touching belief.
I only realized then that because he was the kind of guy who’d never doubted himself - who had such astounding confidence in himself and the situations he was in - it had been almost impossible to notice just how limited that was when it came to other people. He’d never truly believed me when I said I wanted him, I loved him. Couldn’t trust in it.
Except now, he was.
My fear and turbulent emotions from the last few days wanted me to distrust - to hesitate, argue and strike back with everything I’d been through, but as I looked up at him…it felt like he’d been through the same. Too much. We’d both been through too much.
And he was right - I trusted him. I always had.
“I want you, Seth. More than anything I’ve ever wanted.”
I couldn’t help myself, I smiled up at him through the echoes of tears and wrecked emotions.
The flicker of hope that some stubborn part of me had refused to let die burst into flames, exploding through me as he swept me up in a kiss that set my heart on fire.
* * *
We made our way back through the wedding party, hand in hand with a lightness and freedom I hadn’t thought possible.
I still needed to talk to my father, but somehow that didn’t matter anymore. I knew what I was going to say, and I knew how it would end - whatever his reaction.
We were together. The love and spark and fire burning between us was alive and real and we were never going to let it go again.
That was all I wanted.
Seth walked protectively close to me, his large presence stirring my blood as it always had while his grip remained firm on mine. I felt safe and protected in the security of his body and warmth, in a way that was so much more intense now I knew what it was and what it meant.
I was his.
And he was mine.
And I knew exactly how my Navy SEAL would handle anything that dared threaten that.
The warmth of his protection engulfed me, even as I wondered whether the mostly drunken revelers we passed now noticed.
It was hard to believe that the light and love shining between us wasn’t obvious to everyone around, but that was probably a good thing.
It was my father’s wedding - keeping the scandal to a minimum would be best.
At least for his sake. Whatever happened between our parents, or between Seth and I from here onwards, I was done caring about what others might think of our relationship.
I loved him - we were adults with no blood relation and we deserved as much chance to be together as our parents.
Still, part of me hesitated over the timing and the idea of spoiling their evening. But it wouldn’t be long until they left on their honeymoon, and we were leaving too. I wanted to talk to my father first.
I wasn’t waiting until after the honeymoon for this.
We spotted them off to the side of the main marquee, close together and smiling and laughing as they touched each other lightly. It had been a good day for them, and their obvious happiness reminded me of how I felt, making my heart swell with warmth - for all of us.
Cora noticed us first as we approached, turning and exclaiming - her focus on the son she’d desperately wanted at her wedding.
“Seth! You made it! I’m so sorry you didn’t get to see—”
“I saw, Mom. I was there - you looked beautiful. I just didn’t want to make a scene because I was a few minutes late.”
I wasn’t entirely sure the latter was exactly the reason, but I couldn’t help the smile as her face flushed with pleasure and she beamed at us.
My father was a little more observant, his mouth tightening as he saw the way we were standing together.
This is it.
I spoke before he could say anything.
“Father, Cora - it’s been a wonderful day, and we don’t want to change that at all. But Seth and I love each other - we’re together. We have been for a long time now, and we don’t want to give that up because of your marriage. I really hope that doesn’t cause too much difficulty for your—”
“Really, Annabelle? Did nothing we spoke about get through to you?”
My father’s voice was quiet but severe and his gaze hardened as he looked at me.
Seth tensed beside me, but however much he might have wanted it, this wasn’t his fight, and I squeezed his hand.
“It did, dad. Honestly, it did. But it made me realize how much I wanted it - I want that kind of crazy, all intense, passionate love you shared with Mom. I’d rather have it and risk losing it than reject it outright.”
He shook his head sharply, his eyes refusing to accept what I was saying.
“You don’t know what you’re doing Bella - to me, or yourself. On my wedding day. If you leave, I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive you.”
My gut twisted, but I’d expected it. My father had never really heard a word I’d said - just because I’d started listening to myself, didn’t mean I thought he would.
I nodded as I spoke quietly.
“If I don’t, I’ll never forgive myself.”
There was no point arguing about it. Instead, I stepped forward and them both tightly as I spoke.
“I love you, dad. I don’t think we say that enough, and I want you to know. And I’m glad you’re my new step-mom, Cora.”
I could sense Seth’s surprise behind me, but whatever our misgivings about their relationship, it was for them to decide.
Tonight, they looked happy, and if there was anything that all of this had taught me, it was not to assume what was best for others.
I stepped back and took his hand again, smiling even as the emotions of the moment overtook me.
“This is about love. Nothing else. I hope you both understand that, and I hope you have a wonderful honeymoon. We probably won’t be here when you get back, but I’ll always pick up the phone. And I hope, when you get back, you’ll want to call.”
They didn’t say anything - Cora seeming stunned, and my father…well, who knew what my father thought - and we didn’t wait around to debate it further. I’d said what I’d come to say, and I wasn’t going to wait to be disappointed.
We left as we’d come, hand in hand and heading to the car park this time as I took a few deep breaths.
Seth squeezed my hand before putting his arm around me and pulling me close.
“I love you. And I’m so fucking proud of you, Bella.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder as we walked, taking strength and comfort in his powerful presence.
“Do you think—”
I couldn’t help the question, and Seth squeezed me tighter, kissing my temple.
“Yes. I can’t imagine anyone being willing to lose you, baby. He’ll call.”
I smiled lightly, my heart skipping a beat as I put the worry about my father out of my mind.
It hurt like hell to leave him there like that, but even if he never called…I’d rather make my own family with Seth than live constrained by the one my father thought best for me.
I paused as we reached the truck and Seth pinned me against the door again, his hard body pressing against me while he took his time showing me just how much tonight meant to him.
The kiss overwhelmed me and I gave everything to it - everything to him.
Always.
“Where are we going to go?”
I had a few ideas in mind, but we hadn’t exactly had time to think or talk about it.
Instead, Seth just grinned at me with that provocative, arrogant smile and kissed me again.
“Home.”
Epilogue
Bella
I dropped my bags at the guest house and changed quickly, more interested in heading down to the private beach.
This was meant to be one of the best places in Southern California, and I wasn’t wa
iting for Kaylee to arrive when there was a whole Laguna to explore. Besides, she was late - as always.
My mouth curved into a smile at that, my heart light as I headed down the rustic steps.
It had taken us a little while to make up after what I’d termed her betrayal. She, of course, hadn’t seen it that way, and eventually I’d come around to agreeing with her. I would have preferred to talk to my father on my own terms, but as she’d rather bluntly put it - I probably couldn’t be sure that would have happened. Still didn’t stop me calling it that, but at least now we were laughing and joking again together.
Which was a good thing really, since she’d been a godsend when Seth was deployed.
It had been almost a year since he’d gone, and I ached for him every day, but the knowledge he was out there - fighting for me, to come home to me, kept me going with a bright fire burning inside.
That was probably half the reason she’d suggested this trip - she still knew how to take care of me, even if I was independent and living my own life now.
The wind off the sea wrapped around me and I grinned at tinge of salt in the air, inhaling deeply and letting it relax me as I wandered down and finally broke the crest of the rise that blocked my view of endless white sands and crashing waves.
Then I stopped, frozen as I stared at the figure standing there in the small bay the water made.
That wasn’t Kaylee.
He turned to look at me and I screamed, running down the rise at full pelt, everything within me exploding at the sight.
God. Fuck. Ohh, damn.
His face flickered with laughter as I barreled into him, his body absorbing the impact easily as his arms wrapped around me and squeezed tighter than I thought possible.
“Seth. Oh god. Damn. Fuck. You didn’t tell me…”
Then he was kissing me and all the thoughts left my mind, the two of us all over each other as we couldn’t touch and feel and taste enough. Every part of my body tried to meld with and touch his, my heart racing as our tongues twisted and devoured each other.
Oh god oh god oh god.
“Seth. Seth….Seth…fuck.”
He laughed roughly under me, his hands touching and exploring every aching, waiting part of my body.
