by M. S. Parker
I laced my fingers together to keep myself from folding my arms again. I knew it was a protective gesture and I didn't want to appear weak. “Well, she didn't.”
He frowned and something flashed across his eyes, darkening them to the kind of gray that a cloud turns just before a storm. “When she contacted me, she said she was hiring a perfect date fantasy for a friend. Everything else I told you was true. How I'd asked her for some details about you, how you didn't fit what I'd pictured in my head. I didn't lie about that.”
I twisted my fingers until my knuckles turned white.
“She called me yesterday afternoon in a panic and told me the truth; that she'd surprised you and you were angry with her when you found out.” His frown deepened. “I wasn't pleased with her myself.”
That surprised me. He'd gotten paid. Why would he care what Adelle had done?
“Understand something.” His voice was firm. “I don't do surprises and I don't lie about what I am or the services I provide. Fantasies are fine. They're role-playing, but both participants are always aware of the truth of the situation.”
An idea was starting to take shape, a reasoning behind why he was offering an explanation and apology for something that hadn't been his fault. He cared about his reputation as an escort.
“I provide women with companionship when they need it, and often sex is part of that. I teach women how to pleasure themselves and their lovers, how to enjoy sex in ways they've never dreamed.”
I almost shivered at his words as they flowed over my skin.
“I am not in the business of love and I don't believe in emotional attachments,” he continued. “These are things my clients always know up front, and why I generally screen them personally. For Adelle, I made an exception and I regret it now. Not the events of the night. I don't regret those, but rather the circumstances surrounding them.”
Tears burned in my eyes as a part of me died. I hadn't realized I'd been holding onto a small hope that he'd actually cared about me. I appreciated his apology, and any anger I'd felt toward him was gone now that I knew the full story. But I couldn't stop myself from thinking that maybe I'd been right before. Something was wrong with me.
“Aubree?” He gave me a puzzled look. “What's wrong?”
I shook my head, fighting back the sudden wave of emotion washing over me.
He crossed over to where I was sitting in two quick strides and crouched in front of me. “Tell me what's wrong.”
I didn't know if it was the command in his voice or maybe I needed to tell someone how I was feeling; but everything started spilling out of me.
“What's wrong with me? I mean, first my fiancée takes off with our wedding planner, then the first guy I've gone on a date with in years tries to get me drunk.” I wiped at my cheeks. “Am I so pathetic that my best friend thinks I need to pay to get laid? Is that the problem? Am I just such a lousy lay that it's a job to fuck me?”
“Stop.”
I hiccupped and looked up at Cade, surprised. He didn't sound disgusted at my outburst, but there was something hard in his eyes that told me he wasn't to be trifled with.
“I have an idea, but I need to make a call first.” He glanced toward the kitchen. “I'm going to step out and make a call. Pour us each a cup of coffee and I'll be back shortly.”
My mouth opened, then closed again. My mind was spinning. What was going on?
“Coffee, Aubree,” he said firmly.
I stood and started toward the kitchen, moving automatically. I heard my front door close as I retrieved two mugs from my cabinet. I could end this now, I knew. Go into the living room and lock the door. When he knocked, tell him I didn't want to see him again. But I didn't do any of that. I filled the mugs and went back to the living room. As hurt as I was, he hadn't been the one to do it. The least I could do would be to hear out whatever this idea of his was.
When he came back into the apartment, he looked pleased with himself. He sat back on the love-seat and took a drink of his coffee before speaking. “I spoke with Adelle.”
I stiffened. If he said he thought I should forgive her, I was going to dump my coffee in his lap. See how well he could work with a burnt dick.
“I have a proposal for you.”
I frowned.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Aubree.”
He spoke like his statement was common knowledge. There was no hint of gentleness or flirtation in his voice. He was stating a fact.
“You're not bad in bed. You're a beautiful woman and you deserve better men than those jackasses you mentioned.” He took another drink. “You just need the confidence to make everyone else see it. And I'm going to give you that.”
My eyes widened.
“I'm going to teach you everything I know. Show you everything. For however long it takes, I'm offering my services. No fake dating or anything like that. A pure learning experience.” One side of his mouth tipped up in that cocky grin I recognized. “Though an enjoyable one, I promise.”
He stopped and looked at me, his expression clearly saying he was waiting for a response.
How the hell was I supposed to respond to something like that? “I-I,” I stammered. “Thank you, Cade.” I finally managed to find words. “I appreciate the offer, but I don't do casual sex.”
He stood and grinned down at me. “Trust me, there's nothing casual about how I do sex.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, rectangular card. He held it out to me. “Like I said, this is all business, and Adelle is footing the bill.” He winked. “The least you can do is make her pay. Literally.”
I took the card. “Tempting as it is, I don't think I'll be using your services again.” I stood. “Thank you very much for coming to set things straight. I really do appreciate it.”
“But you're not interested in my offer,” Cade finished for me.
“No.” I shook my head.
“Well,” he said as he headed for the door. “If you change your mind, give me a call. There's no expiration date.”
As the door closed behind him, I looked down at the card in my hand. There was no way I was going to call him, I told myself as I carried our mugs back into the kitchen. I stuck the card under a magnet on my refrigerator.
No way at all.
Chapter 4
I tried to be insulted by Cade's proposal but, in a way, I knew it was a result of what I'd said. I was annoyed at myself for sharing such personal thoughts, but I couldn't really be angry that he'd taken what I'd said and tried to help. He hadn't acted like I was pathetic and couldn't do things on my own, only that I needed more confidence or whatever it was he offered to women. I hadn't seen any pity in his eyes at least, and for that I was grateful.
Still, I couldn't consider taking him up on it, even if it would be nice to make Adelle pay for what she'd done. By Wednesday morning, she'd called half a dozen more times, leaving voicemails each time. When I saw Mindy waiting for me in my classroom, I knew Adelle had reached out to her.
“Bree, I don't know what happened between the two of you, but you need to talk to Adelle.” She didn't even bother with a greeting or trying to ease into it. The annoyed expression on her face said that Adelle had either called her more than once or had woken her up early this morning.
“It's complicated,” I said as I unpacked my bag.
She leaned against one of the front row desks and crossed her arms. “So complicated that you're not even going to give your oldest friend a chance to explain?”
“You're my oldest friend,” I joked. She scowled at me. Apparently she wasn't in the mood for our group's way of reminding her that she was three years older than Adelle and me.
“What happened, Bree?” she asked.
I sighed. This was not a conversation I wanted to be having.
“Look, something's going on and you're obviously not talking to Adelle about it. You can't keep all this bottled up. It isn't healthy.”
I rolled my eyes. “Seriously? You're going to go all
school counselor on me?”
Mindy raised an eyebrow and got that stubborn look on her face that meant she wasn't going to let this one go. She wasn't pushy about everything, but she believed that once she chose to fight a specific battle, she stuck through it to the end.
I walked around my desk to face her. “Fine. You want to know why I'm not speaking to Adelle? Here it is. The date she set me up with wasn't a date. She paid for me to get laid.”
I was satisfied to see Mindy's jaw drop. At least I didn't have to ask if she'd known. I continued, telling her all about how Cade was my mystery man and I'd gone through the entire date thinking he liked me for me. I forced myself to keep my head up and my eyes straight ahead. I hadn't done anything wrong. I didn't have anything to be ashamed of. Still, I couldn't stop the heat in my cheeks when I confessed to sleeping with Cade or the proposal he made. That was the only part of the story I wasn't entirely truthful about. By carefully choosing which piece of information I gave, I made it sound as if Cade's offer had come from wanting to help me 'get back on the horse' and not from any confessions of inadequacy on my part. I knew Mindy. If I questioned why I attracted men like that, she'd feel like she had to discuss it and try to make me feel better. I didn't want that right now. I wanted to get this done and over with so she could tell me it was okay for me to be mad at Adelle.
By the time I finished, Mindy's eyes were flashing. “I can't believe she did that!”
I went back around my desk and began setting out what I needed for my first period class. “Now you know why I'm not taking her calls.”
“And then this Cade offers what, to 'teach' you?” She shook her head. “Well, you were definitely right to turn him down. You don't need to have anything to do with that.”
“My thoughts exactly.” I pushed aside the fact that I hadn't been able to stop thinking about Cade since that night. Mindy didn't need to know those details.
“But...” She hesitated.
My eyes narrowed. “But what?”
“But you and Adelle have been friends for such a long time.” She held up her hand before I could argue with her. “I'm not saying she was right, and you have every right to be pissed at her. She deserves your anger, without a doubt.” Mindy pushed her hair back from her face and I could tell she was trying to word this right. “My only concern is, after everything you two have gone through, do you really want to ruin your friendship over something like this? You know Adelle. Her heart's in the right place. It's her head that doesn't think straight.”
I knew Mindy was right. I knew Adelle wouldn’t intentionally hurt me and I knew I would eventually forgive her but today was not that day. I was still too wounded and raw right now and I didn’t want to talk to the person who had done the cutting.
“I'm not saying you have to let it go and be all sweet to her,” Mindy continued. “But I think you should at least talk to her. Let her tell you her side of things and if she truly did have your best intentions at heart, at least make an effort to understand where she was coming from.”
I frowned but didn't say anything.
“I need to get back to my classroom,” she said. “But if you need to talk some more, you know where to find me.”
I nodded but knew I'd never take her up on her offer. A part of me was annoyed that she was trying to play peacemaker, but I could understand why. She and I worked together, so we had that, but she and Adelle had a lot in common too. If Adelle and I were fighting, Mindy would be caught in the middle. No matter how angry I was at Adelle, I wasn't going to force Mindy to choose.
Unfortunately, that meant I was probably going to have to see if I could at least be civil to Adelle. I glanced at the clock. The students would be arriving soon, so I couldn't do anything about it now. I'd call Adelle at lunch and see if we could salvage things between us. After more than twenty years of friendship, it was the least I could do.
I managed to focus enough on my morning classes that my students didn't notice anything was wrong. Then it was lunchtime and I knew I had to follow through with my decision to call Adelle.
She answered before the first ring had even completed. “Bree, oh, I'm so glad you called!” For the first time I could remember, there was a note of almost panic to her voice that competed with the hint of hope and relief. “I didn't think I'd get a chance to talk to you before Friday.”
Friday. Shit. I hadn’t even allowed myself to think about our Friday night dinners, or how much I would miss them. I closed my eyes. I didn't even want to think about having to be in the same building as her, much less at the same table.
Adelle kept talking, as if she was afraid I wouldn't let her get the whole story out if she paused even for a moment. “I know you're angry with me and you have every right to be. It was wrong of me to lie to you and trick you into thinking I was setting you up on a blind date. But I thought… no, I knew you and Cade would hit it off and it seemed like the only way I could get you guys to meet.”
“You didn't think we'd hit it off,” I interrupted. “You thought I needed to get laid and I'd think he was hot.”
There was a moment of awkward silence. “I thought you two would really like each other.”
“If you thought that, why didn't you ask him to go on a date with me? A real date. You know… boy meets girl; boy pays for dinner; boy and girl eat and decide if they like each other. Not boy gets paid to fuck girl because girl is too pitiful to get laid on her own.” I struggled to keep my voice down, all too aware that there could be students outside my door.
“Bree–”
I cut her off. “Look, Adelle, I know you thought you were doing something nice for me, but you should know me well enough to know I wouldn't...” I sighed. “It's going to take some time for me to get past this.”
“But you will, right?” Adelle actually sounded worried. “We're going to be okay?”
I honestly didn't know, but I couldn't tell her that, so I just ignored the questions. “I'll see you on Friday at L20.” I hung up before she could try to say anything else.
By Friday, I still wasn't sure if my friendship would ever be the same between Adelle and me again, but I was determined to at least try. I'd lost the small hope I'd had for renewing my faith in love when I found my mystery man. I didn't want to lose my best friend too. And despite what had happened, Adelle and I had been through a lot together. If there was any chance we could mend this, I had to try.
For the first few minutes, things were tense, but as Mindy steered the conversation to safe topics that got us laughing and reminiscing, I found myself relaxing. If neither one of us talked about it again, maybe we could pretend nothing had happened.
“Can I get you ladies refills?” Our handsome waiter smiled at us as he reached for our empty glasses.
We all nodded despite having already reached our usual three drink limit. Well, three for Adelle and Mindy. Two for me. Three probably wasn't a good idea after the last time I'd had too much to drink, but I needed to take the edge off. Mindy would make sure I got home safely.
Of course, that made me think about how I'd gotten home before and all of my good humor vanished. What would it have been like if I hadn't been so drunk the first time we'd met? Would I still have slept with Cade after our date if I hadn't had that prior connection to him? What if I had asked him to come upstairs that first night? Would he have refused, citing my inebriated state, but really refused because I couldn't afford him? Or would he have taken me to bed, made love to me...
I closed my eyes and pushed the thoughts out of my head. Cade had made it perfectly clear that he didn't believe in emotional connections or love. Sex was a purely physical act. Granted, it was one he was extremely good at, but there wasn't anything real there. The only way things would've turned out good would've been if I'd never agreed to let Mindy or Adelle set me up with anyone.
“The waiter's checking you out.” Mindy's voice cut into my thoughts.
I opened my eyes and looked over at her. “What?”
&nbs
p; “The waiter,” Adelle said. “He's been looking at you all night.”
I frowned at her. Hadn't she learned her lesson? “He's probably still in high school.”
Adelle rolled her eyes, a familiar gesture that once would've gotten an affectionate 'f- you' response from me. Now, it just annoying. It was her blatant disregard of my thoughts and feelings on things that had gotten us to this place.
“He's serving us alcohol,” Adelle pointed out. “That means he has to be at least twenty-one.”
“And?” I raised an eyebrow and took another drink. At this rate, I was going to end up with another bitch of a headache.
“And you should totally ask him out.”
“Adelle,” Mindy spoke softly as she threw me a glance.
“I learned my lesson,” Adelle said. “I won't talk to him for you or try to give him your number. I just think you should find out if he wants to go out with you.”
“I'm not interested in a relationship right now, Adelle,” I said. “Or a fuck and run if that’s going to be your next suggestion.”
“I'm not saying you should move in together,” she persisted. “Just go out for coffee, see where things go.” She jerked her chin behind me. “He's cute.”
I glanced over my shoulder as the waiter walked by. She was right. He was one of those gorgeous golden boys who looked like he'd be home on a California beach. “That's not the point,” I said.
“It is so the point,” she replied. “Ask him for coffee and then take him for a ride.”
She was doing it again, pushing for me to do what she thought I needed to do and not listening when I gave my opinion. I didn't want to be here anymore. I raised my hand as the waiter walked by, signaling for him to come over.
“We're ready for our check,” I said as he approached. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Adelle open her mouth. I didn't know if she was going to protest me ending our night or if she was going interfere with my love life... again, but I didn't want to hear it. Words popped out of my mouth before I realized I was going to say them. “You have pretty eyes.”
