by Amanda Renee
“I’m real and what I feel for you is real. I know it’s fast and unexpected but, honey, we can’t ignore what’s in front of us.”
“You’re right. I’m having a baby. There’s no getting around it. I’d love a father for my child, but she doesn’t need one to thrive. I’d love to have a man in my life to lean on when things get tough, but I can get along just fine without one. And I’d love to have somebody to grow old with and watch the butter bean grow up and have children of her own, but I can survive on my own.”
“So what... You’re resolved to be alone?”
“I’m not saying that at all. I’m saying for this to work I have to want you...not need you and I’m having a hard time distinguishing the two at the moment.”
“I’m not.” Dylan lifted her chin to him. “I want you because I’m attracted to you and I admire your strength and determination even when the odds are against you. And I need you because you’ve awoken me to the possibilities of tomorrow. Possibilities that only exist with you by my side. I could have asked Harlan to decorate the tree with me. He’s one of the most sentimental men I know. We could have shared a beer or two and talked about old times, but I asked you. I needed the strength only you could provide.”
“You don’t even know me.” Emma’s voice was barely a whisper.
“I know enough.” Dylan bent to taste her lips. Her body trembled beneath his touch as his fingers traveled down her arms and to her palms, entwining his hands with hers. He slowly lowered to his knees, and kissed her belly. “And I want to know you, butter bean. I want to see you grow up strong like your mother. She’s a force to be reckoned with. Pay attention, little one. Follow your mom’s lead and you can conquer the world.”
Emma placed her hands on either side of his face, urging him to stand. “You sweet man. You sweet, sweet man.”
Whatever beat ferociously deep within his heart was foreign to him. He’d experienced love before and it hadn’t even come close. Whatever this was, he couldn’t let it go without giving it everything he had. The calendar be damned. He refused to put a timeline on their relationship. However fast or whatever time they had meant nothing. All that mattered were Emma and her baby.
* * *
BY THE TIME Dylan had dropped her off at the ranch, it was well after noon. She managed to sneak in the side door without anyone seeing her. Doing the walk-of-shame wearing yesterday’s clothes is always bad. Doing the walk-of-shame when pregnant was the ultimate worst.
She fumbled with the key in the lock of her room, anxious to get it open before she had to explain her whereabouts. Once inside, she collapsed against the door. Dating took a lot out of a pregnant woman.
Emma smiled when she saw the Christmas tree on the dresser. She’d never look at one the same way again. After making love twice on the way to get a tree, followed by making love all morning under it, decking the halls now had a significantly new meaning.
She crossed the room to the bed, admiring the tiny outfits she’d purchased the day before while she was in town. They had been too precious to pack away last night. They were the first clothes she had purchased for...for... She needed a name.
Emma sat on the edge of the bed and held up a tiny red and white onesie. Technically, it was meant for Christmas, but her due date was February 11, just in time for Valentine’s Day. Her daughter had to have something red to wear for the holiday. She’d blown whatever baby clothing budget she’d set. Amazingly, she didn’t care.
Watching her finances was still important, but it was time to bend the rules a little. She’d been so rigid and laser focused on every detail in her life, she’d forgotten to enjoy her pregnancy. It felt good to let go. A little too good. She could really get used to living in Montana. The people, the views, the stress-free lifestyle...the lack of a job.
Reality check.
The funny thing was, the more Dylan talked about the ranch, the more she wanted to be a part of it. She had some money saved. It had originally been her job-loss contingency plan, then it morphed into the butter bean’s college fund. While it was enough to carry her for a year in Chicago, it wasn’t nearly enough to partner with Dylan.
Was that even an option? Every day she saw more and more possibilities for the ranch. In the same breath, with the increased proposal from her company, Dylan could have a bigger and better ranch. A place where all his employees could still work for him. But was it enough for him...and her? Silver Bells had begun to grow on her. Imagine that. The big city girl contemplating a move to the country. Her mother would die.
* * *
AFTER A DAY of shopping, a stop by town hall to pull the plats on Silver Bells and the neighboring ranch, followed by a chocolate shake and an order of fries, Emma found her second wind to do more baby shopping. She saw a crib and dresser set she loved in a baby boutique, but it wasn’t practical to buy and send back to Chicago. Even if she did wind up moving to Montana, it wouldn’t be until after the baby was born. Until she had a steady income to move toward, she wasn’t going anywhere.
She passed a toy store, and thought about Billy Johnson’s four children who wouldn’t have their father home for Christmas. Her budget could go hide under the covers because she was buying those kids some presents. By the time she pulled back into the ranch, her rental car was full. Front seat, backseat and the trunk. Granted, it wasn’t a very big car, but she’d done some heavy damage to her credit card.
Sandy and Melinda helped bring her packages inside. Between the women working at the ranch and some of the female guests, they spent the rest of the afternoon sitting by the fire in the great room discussing babies, men and all the mistakes they’d made with both.
“How do you know when you’ve found the right man and he’s worth taking a leap of faith with?” Emma asked the group of women.
“You mean, how do you know you’ve found the right cowboy?” Sandy then proceeded to tell everyone there was a Christmas romance brewing.
“I knew there had to be something going on when he insisted you ride up front in the snowcat,” one of the guests said. “We could’ve made room for you in the back. It would have been a little tight, but there was room.”
“He certainly is a fine specimen of a man,” another said. “If I were thirty years younger and fifty pounds lighter, I’d be all over him. Emma, I’d be your biggest competition.”
Everyone laughed until the man of the hour himself appeared.
“Wow, I’m so glad my employees are so fast at their jobs they have time to sit around and chat with our guests.”
Emma hadn’t wanted anyone to get in trouble. She’d done enough damage to the ranch as it was. “Hey now, they’re just on break. They deserve a little relaxation after putting up with you for all these years.”
“Yeah, don’t be such a grouch.” Sandy jabbed Dylan’s arm. “You have a baby on the way. You should be happy.”
“Sandy! I can’t believe you said that.” Emma turned to Dylan, pulling him into a quiet corner. “I swear I had nothing to do with that.”
Dylan shrugged. “No worries. I’ve known Sandy since she was born. She likes to tease. That’s how she landed Luke.” The women’s laughter reverberated behind them. “I see you did some shopping. Is this all for the baby?” He picked up a train set. “Don’t you think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself?”
“The pink and blue bags are for the butter bean. The rest are for the Johnson kids.”
“Emma, that’s a lot of stuff. You didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I did. And let’s just leave it at that.” Emma didn’t want to rehash her guilt. She had enough of it to last a lifetime.
“How would you like to join me for dinner at Harlan and Belle’s house tonight? You already know my brother, but I would like you to meet my sister-in-law. My brother Garrett and his two kids are coming in Christmas Eve. I thought it
would be nice to spend some time with Belle and Harlan away from the ranch. Besides, I am sure you and Belle can spend hours talking baby.”
“Taking me to your brother’s house for dinner almost sounds official.” Emma playfully winked at him.
“You’re right, it does.”
She laughed at his comment, only Dylan wasn’t laughing with her. He looked painfully serious. Oh. My. God. He was making them official. Was she ready for that?
Chapter Eleven
Dylan hadn’t been the least bit nervous about introducing Emma to his brother and sister-in-law until they turned off on to their ranch road. He knew his seven-year-old niece Ivy would like Emma. Ivy liked everyone. And Belle and Emma shared a common baby bond. It was Harlan he worried about, even though they had already met. And he hadn’t been concerned up until his conversation with Wes yesterday morning. Granted, a lot had changed between him and Emma since then, but Wes’s concern that Dylan was repeating old patterns bothered him. He didn’t see any similarity between Emma and Lauren, but Wes had. Now he wondered if Harlan would, too.
Ivy greeted them before Emma had a chance to step out of the truck. “You’re having a baby, just like Belle!” The little girl danced in front of them on the snow-packed drive. “Do you know if it’s going to be a boy or girl?”
“It’s a girl.” Emma shared in Ivy’s enthusiasm.
“Do you have a name yet?”
“Not yet. But I have to choose one soon.”
“You could always name her Ivy.” His niece grabbed hold of Emma’s hand and led her through the back gate of his brother’s white clapboard farmhouse. “Dad, Belle! Emma is having a baby!”
“Ivy, use your inside voice,” Harlan warned from the top of the porch steps.
“But I’m outside,” she protested.
Harlan rolled his eyes and stretched out his arm. “See what you have to look forward to? It’s nice to see you under better circumstances. You look much better than the last time I saw you.”
“Yeah, about that.” Emma grimaced. “I’m sorry I screamed and cursed all the way to the hospital. I’m surprised I didn’t shatter your eardrums.”
“No worries. I’ve heard much worse. I’m just glad you’re okay.” Harlan slapped Dylan on the back. “Hey, man. You actually look a little more relaxed since I last saw you.”
“Is Emma having your baby?” Ivy asked.
“Enough,” Harlan warned again. “Why don’t you take Elvis for a walk?
“Come on in.” Harlan held the door open for them. “Belle will be down in a minute or two.”
“Here I am.” His sister-in-law pulled Emma into an all-encompassing hug. Dylan didn’t know Emma well enough to know if she was the hug-everyone-you-meet type or not. Belle hadn’t been until her pregnancy. “How far along are you?” Belle wrapped her arm around Emma’s shoulder and steered her into the living room.
“Well, that’s the last we’ll see of them until dinner.” Harlan opened the fridge and handed Dylan a beer. “What’s going on? Wes told me you and your arch enemy have gotten pretty hot and heavy.”
“I wouldn’t say she’s the enemy, anymore. I think we’ve come to an understanding.” Dylan twisted the top off his beer and flicked the cap into the garbage can. “She knows I’m not going to sell.”
“Does she?” Harlan asked.
“Yeah, why?”
Harlan shook his head. “It’s nothing.”
“No, if you have something to say, say it.”
“Did you know Emma was in town today?” Harlan asked.
Dylan nodded. “She was buying things for the baby and Billy Johnson’s kids.”
“Okay.” Harlan opened the oven door and peeked in. “Honey, you may want to check the lasagna. It’s looking a little brown on top.”
“I’ll be right there,” Belle called from the living room.
Dylan held up his arms. “You can’t leave me hanging. What are you not telling me?”
“Get out of the way, you two.” Belle swatted at them. “Pregnant woman coming through. This room isn’t big enough for all of us and my belly.”
Emma laughed from the doorway. “Wait until you reach thirty-three weeks. And I hear we get even bigger.”
“I wouldn’t mind so much if I didn’t have to pee every two seconds.”
“Really?” Harlan looked at Belle. “We’re getting ready to eat and you’re talking about your bathroom habits.”
“What habits? I made a statement, that’s all.” Belle opened the oven and quickly closed it. “Okay, dinner’s ready. Here.” She thrust two potholders at Harlan’s chest. “You can take it out.”
“Did you know, I’m her new manservant?”
“And he’s not too happy about it. The doctor doesn’t want me around any animal urine so that means this one here has to clean up after all my little ones at the rescue center when my volunteers aren’t available.”
“I’m sorry, that cow is not little. Neither is your three-hundred pound pig.”
Emma laughed at Belle and Harlan’s banter, but Dylan couldn’t help wondering what his brother wasn’t telling him about Emma. She hadn’t mentioned going anywhere else in town, not that he expected her to report to him. She was free to go where she wanted. Still, something was amiss and he was going to find out before they left tonight.
* * *
EMMA COULDN’T FIGURE out what had changed between the time they arrived and the time they sat down to eat. Dylan had barely said two words throughout their meal. He’d glanced at her a few times, almost questioningly. Their tension began to make her feel uncomfortable and she could see the uncertainty in Belle’s face as she wondered what was going on, as well. She was fairly certain Dylan had bad-mouthed her in the past, but they were past that now, weren’t they?
Dylan and Harlan retired into the living room after dinner while Emma helped Belle clean up the kitchen. She had tried to hear what they were saying, but couldn’t make out a word.
“Emma, please sit down. You don’t have to help me. Your feet must be killing you at this stage.”
“They were until I bought bigger boots. When I got here, I actually had to borrow somebody else’s. No one told me my feet were going to get bigger during this whole process.” Emma waved her hands in front of her belly. “And names. How do you choose a name for your child?”
“Tell me about it. How many names do you have on your list?” Belle asked. “I have hundreds and I can’t manage to narrow them down. It doesn’t help that we’re waiting until the birth to find out the sex.”
Emma shook her head. “I don’t even have two.”
Belle stared at her. “You have one name on your list? Doesn’t that make it really easy then?”
“No, because I keep second-guessing it. I liked it and now I hate it, but I haven’t come up with anything else.”
“Whatever you do, don’t ask Dylan for baby name advice. If he’s anything like Harlan it will be something off-the-wall like Aloysius.”
“Aloysius?”
Belle’s brows furrowed. “It was some great-great uncle of theirs from way back when. Harlan said it was unusual enough to stand out and not worry about another kid in class having the same name.”
“No doubt,” Emma agreed. “Can I ask you something just between us?” Belle didn’t owe Emma any loyalty, but she needed a logical explanation to explain Dylan’s sudden mood change.
“Sure, go ahead.”
“Dylan... Does he tend to—how should I put this?”
“Brood?”
Emma sagged against the counter. “Yes.” She lowered her voice. “Exactly that.”
“I’ve known him for almost my entire life, and the man he is today is much more jaded than he used to be. He tends to see the negative before the positive. It’s my
understanding you’ve already seen that side of him.”
“That’s an understatement.” After the heartfelt talk he had with her stomach this morning, she had thought they had turned a new corner in their relationship. She still didn’t know how to define it, although Dylan had hinted about making things official. Official as in dating. At least that’s what she thought he meant. Because he couldn’t possibly mean marriage. That was out of the question this early in the relationship. She didn’t even know if they had a chance of dating past New Year’s, let alone walk down the aisle. She didn’t want to spend two seconds to say “I do” and then have to spend two years trying to say “I don’t” in divorce court. At least that’s what some of her coworkers had told her about their marriages.
“I’d like to tell you to take things day-by-day with him, but I know you two are pushing time. That is, unless you decide to move to Saddle Ridge.”
“Let me get through this pregnancy first.” Why did everyone make it sound so easy?
Emma filled Belle in on her Braxton-Hicks scare until Dylan and Harlan joined them. Dylan refused to make eye contact with her as they said their goodbyes. What could possibly have happened? At this point, it wasn’t just frustrating, it was annoying the hell out of her.
“Thank you both for having me.” Emma nodded to Harlan and gave Ivy and Belle a hug goodbye. “And don’t forget to send me that vegetarian lasagna recipe. It was really good.”
“I will.” Belle called from the porch. “You two should drive around town and see the Christmas lights while you’re out. Only four more days until Santa comes.”
“I’d love to see the lights.”
Dylan wordlessly held the car door open for her as she eased onto the seat. She was about to open her mouth to ask him if they could drive around for a while before heading back to the ranch when he closed the door. So much for that conversation.
