by Riley, Alexa
“Yeah, just kind of sad. I still can’t remember anything. And I’ve been all over the place today,” I admit to her. I feel like my hormones are going crazy. Maybe it’s because my only two friends are both pregnant and it’s giving me an itch myself. Seeing them so in love and happy makes me ache for the same.
Being a bear in a town full of wolves, I have no idea if mating is different for us. But lately I’ve been trying to find out. For the longest time I tried to remember the life I had before I came to be a part of the Gray Ridge pack. But after a while I just let it go, thinking that one day it might come back to me. It hasn’t yet, and it’s been almost four years.
Now I’m back to pushing myself to remember and I still keep coming up with nothing. Even being close to Gwen, I still don’t feel like I belong, and I’ve been tossing around the idea of leaving the pack. To go where, I have no idea. College? Maybe. Something has to give because I feel like I could crack. I’m starting to think I might feel more accepted in the human world. It’s not like I even shift anymore. I haven’t since Stone found me.
“You’ll know when it happens. You’ll feel it,” Gwen tells me, reaching out to hold my hand. I know she’s talking about coming of age. Since I don’t know anything about before I came to Gray Ridge, my age has always just been estimated.
Gwen seems to think I’ll be like a wolf and won’t find my mate until I’m eighteen. Whether that’s true or not, no one really seems to know. What’s even weirder is when I talk to Stone about finding out about bears mating, he gets all awkward.
Awkward is not a word I would have ever thought I’d use for Stone, but it’s what he does. Hell, I’m awkward about it, too, but my need to know pushes me past that, so I keep asking him. He keeps giving me the brush off, and it’s hard to ask a man you have a giant crush on when you can finally get the sex on.
“From what Dominic says, you feel it when it happens,” Ruby chimes in softly, smiling at me. I really like Ruby. She seems to fit with me more than anyone else. She has wild red hair and a curvy body like I do. All the shifters around here are tall and lean. I kind of stick out, but since Ruby is human she doesn’t carry their traits, so we kind of have that in common, too. Well, except for what her mate Dominic gave her during mating.
Like me, Ruby is an outsider who was invited into the pack. I feel like she gets me a little better than most, but if you ask me she still seems to fit better than I do.
“Yeah. You’re right. I’m just super emotional today. I keep crying. Sorry,” I tell them both, trying to give the best smile I can. I don’t want this to turn into a pity party. I came here to have a good time, to get my mind off things, and mostly to get away from my stepsisters. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was pregnant,” I joke about my tears, making everyone laugh.
“Tell me about it. The last time I was this crazy with hormones I was—” Gwen pauses for a moment as if a thought hits her. “Winnie, you don’t think—”
She’s cut off by the front door bursting open, making me jump to my feet, to reveal Stone standing in the doorway.
Xavier and Dominic are in front of us in under a second, both half-shifted as if ready to fight.
Stone stands there, breathing hard and looking like he just ran a hundred miles. He’s nearly rabid as he looks past X and Dom, glaring at me. His snarl echoes through the room, making my heart thunder in my chest. I don’t feel fear, though. No, it’s something else. Then one word leaves his lips.
“Mine.”
He’s on me before anyone can move, lifting me to his body. My legs go around his waist, and my hands go to his shoulders as I try to keep myself balanced. My back hits a wall, and I don’t even register moving. Before I can say anything, Stone buries his face in my neck, and I feel his teeth. The sharp fangs are on me before I make a sound and he bites. Hard.
I expect to feel pain as my body tenses with anticipation, but instead white-hot passion like nothing I’ve ever felt rips through me. My eyes fall closed as a moan pours from my mouth. My body jerks, grinding against him as the pleasure shoots through my body all the way down to my toes.
When I sink back to reality, I feel Stone’s tongue swipe the spot he just marked, and my eyes pop open.
“Mine,” he says against my skin.
I see everyone in the room just staring right at us. It’s then I realize I just came in a room full of people as Stone claimed me as his.
Gwen’s eyes look like they’re about to bulge out of her head, and both X and Dom look like they’re not sure what they should be doing. I think they’re waiting for me to say something, but I’m not sure what to say.
I thought when mates found each other, they were all over one another. Well, Stone’s all over me, but all I want to do is push him off me. I feel my heart start to beat faster, and I’m sure everyone in the room can hear it.
Stone seems unconcerned with everything as he continues to lick and nuzzle at my neck as everyone stares at us.
How long have I wanted Stone’s attention? How long have I begged him to see me, to let me stay? Now it seems I have it, and now I don’t want it. As part of me wants to welcome it, the other part reminds me he’s only picking me because he has to. Nature made him do it.
The thought makes a sob rip from my throat.
Stone freezes at the sound, and a growl from deep in his chest fills the room. He quickly places me on the floor and turns like he’s going to protect me, not knowing he’s the cause of the sounds.
“You need to calm down, Alpha,” I hear Dom say. I can’t see anything around Stone’s big body. I try to slide out from behind him, but he backs up, pinning me in so I can’t retreat.
“Mine,” he says again, like he doesn’t know another word. I’ve never seen him like this. So out of control.
“No one is saying she’s not yours. I can just smell her blood,” Dominic tries again.
My hand reaches for my neck to touch the spot where he bit me.
Stone turns to look down at me, running his hungry eyes up and down my body, making me feel naked. My traitorous nipples harden his stare.
“Did I hurt you?” His words come out deep, and I can tell his wolf is trying to break free. I just stand there, staring up at him, not sure what to say. Before I can stop myself I lash out.
“When haven’t you hurt me?”
2
Stone
“What?” I look down into Winnie’s tear-filled eyes in confusion. The way she says it, it makes me know she doesn't mean the bite. I’d never hurt her. Everything I’ve done when it came to her was for her own protection. To keep from hurting her.
I’d followed Winnie to Gwen and Xavier’s house today. I always watch her, so this wasn’t anything new. It’s a habit I haven't been able to drop over the years, no matter how many times I tried. No matter where she is or what she’s doing, I’ve always got my eyes on her. I get restless whenever I lose sight of her. But today, I knew where she was going, so I waited before I trailed them.
When I got closer to the house and caught her scent, something inside me was set on fire. It was different. My wolf went crazy, and I needed to get to her as soon as possible. I tore through the woods, getting to her as fast as I could. My animal knew she was mine, and I needed to claim her. It took everything in me not to shift.
After all this time and these years of longing, I understand what the pull was and why I always had a need for her. A need like no other.
When I first burst into the room and had her in my arms, I felt whole and complete for the first time in my life. All the fear and frustrations of being alpha melted away, and the only concern was my Winnie.
The taste of her skin on my teeth and biting down to mark her as mine was the single greatest moment of my life. Feeling her pleasure rock through her body and into mine made me want to take her to the floor and breed her right then and there. I wanted to mate her body at that very moment and bind her to me for all eternity.
I feel my brow furrow in anger.
I never should have made her feel hurt. I’m mad at myself for keeping my distance, but it was the right decision. I knew she had a crush on me, and I thought it was best not to play into it. She was too young. Too sweet. I’ll make this up to her. I’ll fix this.
“You’re my mate.” I start to pull on her arm, but she doesn’t move. She pulls back against me, and I look at her big brown eyes in shock.
No mate has ever refused before, and I don’t know why it’s happening now. How she is doing it. She should feel the pull like I do. Have the need to be close to me. I’m the alpha. Is she not proud to be mated to me?
“Winnie. Come. Now.” I feel my wolf growl at being denied what we want. She’s ours, and no one will take her from us. Even if she doesn’t want us, we will convince her.
“Let go of me, Stone.” Her words are firm, and like always she makes direct eye contact with me.
The growl rips from my throat, and I look down at her neck to see where I’ve marked her. She’s mine. There’s no stopping this.
“Stone, back away from her and give her some space. We’ll figure this out.”
I hear Dominic behind us, and I let out another growl. I won’t be taken from her. I don’t care who I have to go through. Gripping her arm tighter, I try again to pull her to me.
“I’m not going with you, Stone. Let me go.” Winnie says the words, something flashing in her eyes, but I don’t believe them. We are meant for one another. It’s destiny. We are fated mates.
“Stone, don’t make me do it.” I hear the click of Dom’s tranquilizer gun and turn around fast, pushing Winnie behind me.
I’m beyond the power of speech right now, so I show him my teeth, and snarl. I can feel my eyes changing and the hair on the back of my neck growing. My fingernails ache, and I’m slowly shifting in anger.
“Fuck. Do it, Dom. He’s losing his skin,” Gwen says, and I look back to Dominic in time to see him pull the trigger.
I manage to turn back around to grip Winnie by her arms. But when her hands go to my chest, it’s not to pull me closer, but to push me off her.
“Winnie,” I whine, but the word sounds like it comes from a distance. It’s as if my own voice is in a tunnel, and then it all goes black.
* * *
I wake up on the cold cement and look around groggily. Xavier is on the other side of the bars, and I can’t help but let out a short laugh. We were in the opposite position not so long ago, with him in the cell and me on the other side.
I push myself up on my hands and knees and then slowly get off the floor. I walk over to the bars of the cell and grip them to steady myself. I take a deep breath to try and tell if Winnie is close, but all I can smell is the lingering drugs.
The drugs are in my system, but I’m a shifter, and I know they’ll fade fast. In a few minutes they’ll be completely gone, and there isn’t a cell on this earth that will keep me from my mate.
“Where is she?” My voice is deep and gravely, as if I haven’t used it in a while. I feel my wolf pacing inside me, not liking the feeling of being caged. I take a deep breath and try to gain some control. Losing it won’t get me anywhere, and as an alpha, I need to show that I can control my own wolf.
“She’s upstairs talking to Gwen. She wants to talk to you, but she wants to do it while you’re behind bars. She’s not ready to be your mate, and she wanted you to listen to her,” X says. He always gets straight to the point.
“I’m no danger to her. I’m her mate. I will always protect her. Now let me out of here.” I grip the bars tighter, needing to get out. This is insanity. Why doesn’t she want me? Doesn’t she feel the pull like I do?
“I think bears are different than us. Gwen is explaining to her what she should be feeling, and that’s not what’s happening to Winnie. She’s mad you pushed her away for so long. You were not a worthy friend, so she thinks you won’t be a worthy mate.”
His words hit me like a boulder to the chest, the pain bleeding down to my heart. I need to make this right. I will beg her to forgive me. I will crawl through broken glass if that’s what she asks. She is mine, and I will prove to her that I never meant to hurt her.
“Please.” It’s a word I never have to use as alpha, but it comes so easily when it comes to her. I lean my forehead against the bars. “Please, Xavier. I need to speak to her. It hurts.” I know he recognizes the pain I’m feeling because I once caused him to feel it.
The ache in my chest is growing and spreading through my body. Being separated from your mate is painful in the beginning, especially if the mating heat starts. I just had no idea how bad it could be. I’ve heard people explain it before, but this…I never thought it could hurt this deep. Down to the marrow of my bones.
“I know all about that pain you speak of, Stone. You remember when you locked me away in this cage? I will be better to you than you were to me. But you will hear Winnie out first.”
I look up into his eyes, and I see that I was wrong in how I treated him. I nod slowly, recognizing that I didn’t do right by him and Gwen when they were going through their mating heat. It seems everything I think is for the best keeps blowing up in my face. What kind of alpha does that make me?
X turns, walking away and going up the stairs. After what feels like hours, but is probably only minutes, he comes back downstairs, followed by Winnie.
“I will be over here if you need me. I’ll try not to listen, but I probably will because my hearing is better than yours,” X tells Winnie, before walking over to the corner of the room and sitting down.
I look to Winnie, and after she takes a deep breath, she looks up, her big brown eyes locking with mine.
“I’m sorry—” I start to apologize, but she holds her hand up to stop me.
“Stone. All I ever wanted was your attention. You were my first memory, my first piece of anything that was good, and you pushed me away. Over the years, I tried to be your friend, and even that was difficult for you. And now you show up, saying I’m your mate and we’re going to be together, but I don’t feel that.” She looks away and whispers, “I don’t know what I feel.”
“Please, Winnie. Let me fix this.”
Her eyes shoot up, locking with mine again. “You can’t just fix this, Stone. You have to prove it to me. If you want me, you’ll wait for me. You’ll give me time—”
“Anything,” I cut her off, but she shakes her head.
“You’ll give me time and space, Stone. I need to figure out what this is,” she says, gesturing between the two of us. “X is going to let you out, but I’m not going with you. If you can’t handle that, then Dominic has offered to keep you drugged until the needing passes.”
She looks away as if the thought hurts her, and the idea of not needing her tears me apart inside.
“Please.” I get down on my knees in the cell, not caring if X watches. “Winnie. Don’t leave me in here. I’ll give you time.” I take a deep breath, closing my eyes and opening them again. “And space, if that’s what you need.”
After a moment, she nods, coming to a decision. “Okay. I’m leaving. X will let you out when I’m gone.”
Her words are like an arrow to my heart, and I don’t think I’ll be able to function. But I can do this. I can stay strong and show her that I’m good enough for her.
I watch as she climbs the stairs and leaves the room, taking my heart with her. I will give her what she wants, but I won’t stop making her want me.
3
Winnie
Lying back on my bed, I stare at the wooden ceiling of the attic. How many nights have I lain here, wanting Stone to notice me? Every single one of them. It’s stupid. I should embrace this. It’s what I’ve always wanted, but now it just feels tarnished.
My memory floods with all the times he’s pushed me away over the years. Like I was unwanted. Like I was a stray, as my stepsisters like to call me. It didn’t help that I wasn’t subtle with my crush for the first few years. Anyone with eyes in their head could see I followed him aroun
d like a lovesick puppy. If only I was a puppy. Then maybe things would’ve been different.
He only wants me because nature made it so. I wasn’t so much as a blip on his radar before today. I was just someone who got bossed around and was made to follow orders, no matter what I wanted. Stone, my stepsisters, and my stepmother. They were the worst. I thought it was bad when my stepfather was here. But when he died two years ago, things only got worse. I hate it here.
The bitter reality of it all is that if I did become Stone’s mate, I’d be stuck in a pack that never truly wanted me. I’d only be accepted because my pack-mates were made to. My stepsisters have made my life hell. It didn’t help that they got their friends to join in on their little taunts as they picked on me in school.
It seemed like each day that ticked by, my bear retreated more and more inside me. Now I don’t even feel her. At first she clawed at me to have a family, to try to fit in, and to be a part of a den. I craved it, just like I’d craved Stone.
For the past four years I’ve been here, all I’ve ever felt was that I was being tolerated. The only true friend I had at any point was Gwen, and sometimes I wondered if she just pitied me. Maybe she felt I needed a friend more than she wanted to be my friend. Not that Gwen isn’t good to me. She is. She’s been there for me when I’ve had no one else, but I still question it. I can’t stop myself.
I roll over and punch the pillow next to me. Pity party for one, anyone?
When I hear the door to my room open, I inwardly cringe, knowing who’s coming up the stairs. Now I really wish it was just a pity party for one.
“Look who it is,” Trish snaps as she stomps up the stairs. I don’t even wonder why she’s in a bad mood. She always seems to have a reason to direct some kind of hostility at me. Over the years I’ve learned to let it roll off me. There wasn’t a hateful thing they hadn’t hurled at me before.
