As Silver stocked the trailer for the upcoming weekend, she told herself to be grateful for the week and move on. That playing the “what if” game didn’t help anyone, especially not her. She couldn’t go back in time and even if she could, she knew she wouldn’t change anything.
She had a feeling Drew would disagree with that. He’d taken Autumn’s leaving much harder than she would have thought. Of course, hanging out with Autumn was new for him, and so was the pain of letting her go.
He’d been restless the past couple of days. Almost on edge. She wondered if he was thinking about the past or wondering about the future. She’d found herself doing a lot of the latter since Autumn had left. The future with and without Drew.
The problem was she couldn’t figure out what was going to happen. Was he really going to take over the bank and stay here in Happily Inc?
She finished loading mixers and liquor. She wanted to get the trailer ready before she had to leave for a meeting about Bethany and Cade’s big event. That was coming up fast. The cute Bride’s Posse T-shirts had been delivered. They’d all decided to wear them with blue denim skirts that were similar to Bethany’s white denim skirt. Pallas had been nervous that she was too pregnant to buy one that fit, but had found the cutest skirt with a tiny stretch panel for her growing tummy. Carol was several weeks less pregnant, so her shopping hadn’t been so challenging. Silver had dug a denim skirt out of her closet.
She was looking forward to the party. It wasn’t every day a regular person like her got to hang out with royalty. She had no idea what Bethany’s parents were like, but based on Bethany herself, she would guess they were pretty cool.
Silver had just finished the second trailer when an unfamiliar car pulled up by the open gate to the parking area where she stored the trailers. The car door opened and Silver’s stomach sank as Drew’s mother stepped out. Silver looked around desperately for an escape route. Before she could find one, Irene was approaching and there was nothing to do but smile as graciously as she could.
“Mrs. Lovato. This is a surprise.”
Irene, well dressed and well preserved, looked her over. “Yes, I would imagine it is. I want to talk to you about my son.”
Silver instantly flashed on the scene from the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice—the one where Lady Catherine de Bourgh told off Lizzie for being involved with Mr. Darcy. She hoped this conversation went just a little better.
“All right,” she said slowly, telling herself that regardless of the assault, she could more than handle herself.
“Drew is going to be taking over the bank from his grandfather,” Irene began. “Do you know this?”
“Of course. He loves working at the bank.” She smiled. “I suppose they’re well suited for each other.”
Irene waved her hand as if dismissing the humor. “It’s all but done. I’m sure Libby will make a run at it but no one wants to work for her. No, it will be Drew.” Her expression softened. “He’s such a wonderful man. Warm and caring, intelligent. He understands people.”
Silver sensed a trap, but she couldn’t see it. “Okay,” she said slowly.
“He has a wonderful future ahead of him. He could go anywhere, do anything. Opportunities are just waiting for him. His father and I have connections all over the world. We know people. People in power. People with money. Drew was meant for more than this ridiculous little town.”
“Then he should take advantage of what you’re offering,” she said, not sure of the other woman’s point.
“Unfortunately, Drew has an oversize sense of responsibility. His default position is to take care of someone else, rather than himself.”
Silver wanted to say that was a good thing, but she suddenly realized where Irene was going.
“You think I’m standing in the way.” Silver shook her head. “It’s not like that between us.” She didn’t know what it was, exactly, but she knew that there was no permanent commitment. If Drew wanted to leave, he would.
Irene’s expression turned calculating. “I would believe you except you have a child together and doesn’t that change everything?”
“Autumn is eleven. She has parents. Whatever Drew and I are to her, they come first. They always have. It’s how we wanted it.”
As she spoke, she felt something odd in her chest—something she couldn’t define. It wasn’t a pain, exactly. More of a certainty about... She pushed the feeling away.
“I’ve never used Autumn to trap Drew,” she said firmly. “Not back when I was pregnant and not now. I don’t know what hold you think I have over Drew, but you’re wrong. Any problems you have with him are of your own making.”
Irene motioned to the trailers. “Really? This isn’t you trapping him? This isn’t you trying to seduce him into thinking this tiny world is enough for him? Doesn’t it strike you as odd that he chose to go into business with you? Why this? Why not a tech company start-up?”
“I have no idea. You should ask your son.”
“You think you’re so smart, but you’re wrong.” Irene leaned toward Silver, her gaze intense. “You can keep him in the short term, but one day he’s going to wake up and realize he doesn’t belong here, and then he’s going to leave you. And you’ll have nothing.”
Shades of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Silver thought, trying to find the humor in the situation. She half expected Irene to say she did not send regards to Silver’s mother.
“Whatever you think I want from Drew, you’re wrong. You don’t know me or anything about me.”
Irene smiled. “You’re mistaken. I know far more than you think. I know you’re in love with him and that, my dear, will be your downfall.”
Irene walked away without saying anything else, which was probably for the best as it was all Silver could do to stay upright. She felt as if she’d been hit in the stomach and all her air had rushed out.
Love him? Love him! No. She didn’t. She couldn’t. It was a ridiculous idea and only a crazy person would ever imagine she and Drew were anything but business associates who, ah, slept together and had a kid. But that didn’t mean anything—it couldn’t. She knew better. She’d worked so hard not to be like her mother, falling in love at the drop of a hat. She’d been determined to be strong, to define her own life on her own terms. She’d never done anything simply because of man.
Only she had. Not in a volume way, like her mother, but she’d done plenty in the name of Drew. Even doing things so she didn’t have to deal with him was sort of the same thing as doing things because of him, wasn’t it? She hadn’t gone from man to man, but maybe that wasn’t about being strong. Maybe it was about...about...
She sucked in a breath and hung on to the side of the trailer to keep from collapsing to the ground. The truth bitch-slapped her a couple of times while her brain slowly, oh so slowly started to believe.
The reason there hadn’t been a string of men in her life wasn’t because she was some badass who had her act together. No, the truth was far more humbling. She’d never fallen in and out of love like her mother because she couldn’t. She’d given her heart to Drew when she’d been all of eighteen years old and she’d never taken it back. She’d been in love with Drew this entire time.
While the feelings had been dormant, they’d never gone away. They’d been there, lurking like some recurring virus. Being around him had brought everything to the surface.
She was a fool and she’d always been a fool. In some ways she was worse than her mother. At least her mom had always had the dream of finding the one. At least she had hope. All Silver had was the realization that she would love Drew for the rest of her life, and the knowledge that, as Irene had pointed out, one day he would wake up and realize this town wasn’t for him, and then he would be gone, taking her shattered heart with him.
* * *
SILVER ARRIVED AT the party-planning meeting still reeling from her emotio
nal realization. She didn’t know what to do with the information, let alone what it meant. The only thing she was sure of was that she had to try to act as normal as possible—a goal that proved impossible the second she walked into the conference room.
Drew was already there. Not only did her heart start thudding the second she spotted him, she was instantly overcome by indecision. Did she sit next to him? As far away from him as she could? What was she supposed to say? How should she act? What if he guessed? What if he felt sorry for her?
The last thought had her wanting to bolt for the door, but she forced herself to square her shoulders and move into the room. At all the meetings, she’d sat next to Drew. She would do the same today, and then she would be fine. Perfectly fine.
“You okay?” Drew asked as she sat next to him. “You seem upset.”
“I’m fine,” she told him.
Fortunately, Renee and Pallas arrived before he could ask anything else. Bethany and Cade followed. Pallas fiddled with her computer.
“We have the head of the office of protocol joining us today,” Pallas said with a tight smile. “Just so you’re all braced.”
Bethany hung her head. “I’m sorry. Did I say I’m sorry? Because I’m sorry.”
Cade put his arm around her. “It’s not your fault. Look at me.”
She did as he requested.
“I love you,” he said firmly. “I love you and this is going to be a great party.”
Bethany nodded. “I know. I love you, too. I’ll stop apologizing.” She looked at Pallas. “Let’s do this.”
Silver tried to focus on the meeting, but the happy couple’s sweet words were like a knife in her chest. She wanted that, she thought desperately. She wanted Drew telling the world he loved her. She wanted to know she was safe and had family she could hang on to. She wanted to belong and all those other stupid things she’d never had in her life.
Pallas connected with the El Baharian protocol expert via video. When he appeared on the screen, Silver managed to pretend to listen, taking notes so later she could figure out what everyone was talking about.
“The vice president is confirmed,” Pallas said. “Between the El Baharian security forces and our own Secret Service, we’ll have really tight security. I don’t know how we’re going to manage that. Everyone will be screened, then I guess the security team stays in the background.”
“They won’t interfere with the party,” the protocol expert said. “His Royal Highness will have security, as will the queen and the vice president, of course.”
“They’re all good at this,” Bethany added. “Basically you have hot guys in suits who nod politely. I’m sure there’s more going on, but to the layperson, that’s what it looks like.”
“We can handle that,” Renee said, as she entered information on her tablet. “Now, on to the menu.”
The meeting went on for a couple of hours. When they were done, Silver tried to make her escape before Drew could catch her, but she was too slow. Before she’d even made it to the hallway, he fell into step with her. Because of their partnership, she couldn’t even claim a work emergency. He knew all the events already on the books.
“You sure you’re all right?” he asked.
“Of course. How are you doing? Still missing Mr. Whiskers? Maybe you should get a rabbit.”
“Autumn thinks I should get a dog.”
They walked outside. She’d parked at the far end of the lot, but instead of going to his car, he kept pace with her until they got to her truck.
“There’s something,” he said, watching her. “Is it Autumn? I miss her, too. I don’t know how you do it, seeing her, then having her leave. It’s hard.”
“It is.” She did her best not to feel guilty as she steered the conversation to a safer topic away from what was actually upsetting her. “Usually I visit her at her place, so when I get home, I have my routine. But this time was different. I’m missing her in my day-to-day life. That’s more difficult.”
“Yeah, it would be. I’m glad I got to spend time with her. She’s a great kid. I see a lot of you in her.”
“Not as much as you’re projecting. I see a lot of Leigh in her.”
“Nature versus nurture,” he teased. “The age-old argument.”
“I’m a nurture girl,” she lied, trying not to think about how, despite everything, she’d turned out to be just as pitiful as her mother.
“I wish,” he began, then shook his head. “No point in that, right? No point in thinking about what would have happened if we’d—”
The cracks in her heart widened. “Don’t,” she snapped. “Just don’t. Neither of us needs to spend any time dwelling on the past. It’s done. We did the right thing and however much fun it is to pretend otherwise, it doesn’t accomplish anything. There is no second chance and even if there was, I wouldn’t change anything.”
“I would,” he said, his voice and gaze steady. “I would change it all.”
“Oh please. For how long? How long would you have wanted to play at being a dad? It wouldn’t have worked. You would have resented giving up all your opportunities. You would have wanted more. That life is too small for you, just like this town.”
She realized she might have said too much, so she pressed her lips together and did her best to look defiant.
“What are you talking about? What does Happily Inc have to do with—” He swore under his breath. “When did my mother come to see you?”
“This morning.”
“Dammit, Silver, you know better than to listen to her. Whatever she told you is a complete lie.”
“Is it? You’re in the running to be in charge of the bank and you’re probably going to get it. Then what? How long will you be happy with that? Face it, Drew, you’re not a run-the-bank kind of guy. You want more and you’re not going to find it here. One way or another, you’re leaving. You were always leaving.”
She thought he’d get mad. Instead he simply raised and lowered his shoulders. “An interesting premise, but don’t you think that kind of wanderlust would have kicked in by now? I’ve been back in Happily Inc nearly a decade. My need to take off sure has a slow burn.”
She opened her mouth, then closed it. He had a point. A really good one. One she was having trouble arguing with.
He moved close enough that she had to tilt her head to meet his gaze. “I’ll admit I do want more,” he told her. “Funny how working with you has started to change my perspective. I like being involved in your business. I’ve been thinking a lot about what it takes to grow a company. I haven’t figured it all out yet, but maybe there should be more to my future than the bank.” He smiled at her. “But whatever that is, it’s happening here. I like it here. I’m not interested in being a power broker with my parents. This is my home and I’m staying. You have to trust me on that, Silver.”
Trusting him was relatively easy, she thought. It was loving him that was hard. Not that she’d had a choice. Her destiny had been set the second she’d handed over her heart.
She wanted to say she wished she’d known that at the time, but she knew it wouldn’t have made a difference. Loving Drew had always been unavoidable. She needed him as much as she needed air.
“What I need is to stop listening to your mother,” she said with a sigh.
“Yes, you do. Are we okay?”
She nodded and raised herself up on her toes, then she kissed him. “We’re fine.”
“Good. I need to get back to work, but I will see you soon. We have a big weekend planned.”
She thought of the events they were committed to. The smallest trailer was finished and would celebrate its debut on Saturday.
“Don’t remind me,” she told him. “I’m not emotionally ready to be an empire.”
He chuckled. “You’re going to do just great. After all you have the best business partner eve
r.”
“You wish.”
He kissed her. “You have no idea.”
* * *
JASPER PACED THE length of his office. Sometimes the writing was easy and sometimes it was hard. Today it was being just plain mean.
He thought about throwing his computer out the window, but that would only create more problems. He’d have to replace the damn thing, download his work in progress from the cloud and he’d still have pages to write.
He swore under his breath, stalked back to his desk and sat down, determined to write at least two more pages. That should get him to the end of the scene, then he’d eat lunch and maybe go for a walk. With his head clear, he would come back and finish out the day’s quota.
Twenty agonizing minutes later, he saved his work and practically sprinted out of the room. He’d barely made it into the kitchen when he heard a car pull up. He looked out the front window and saw Wynn walking up the path. As far as he knew, they didn’t have any plans to get together, but he wasn’t about to say no to whatever she was offering.
He was smiling when he opened the front door, but that smile faded when he caught sight of the anger in her eyes.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
She stepped into his foyer and pointed her finger at him. “You broke the rules. We were clear and you broke them. You’ve been lying to me for months, Jasper. How could you?”
Before he could tell her he had no idea what she was talking about, she shook her head and continued.
“Don’t you dare look like you’re confused. You know what you’ve done. You made friends with Hunter. And don’t bother denying it. He told me. He said you two hang out together a lot. You play video games and you’ve taught him some fighting techniques with your stupid sticks. You’re friends.”
He thought about suggesting they go into the living room to talk, but he didn’t think Wynn was in the mood to do anything but blame him for everything wrong.
“You’re right,” he told her calmly. “I’m friends with Hunter. For what it’s worth, he approached me. We do hang out. We talk about guy stuff. I helped him with his throw in baseball. Sometimes I’ve helped him with his English homework. You sure do have every right to be pissed. I’m such an asshole.”
Not Quite Over You Page 23
