by Amy Lillard
“Because I want things to go back the way they were before. Well, maybe not exactly the same way. We’ve had a few rough patches, you see.”
She nodded, but kept ahold of the buggy. “Go on.”
“But I want her to come back home. Move back into our house and start a family with me.”
“Have you told her that?”
“I’ve tried to, but she doesn’t seem to want to listen.”
“Do you love her?”
“Of course I do.”
Her blue eyes darkened until they were as deep and bottomless as a nighttime sky. “Have you told her that?”
He stopped. Had he? He shook his head. Not in all of the times he had tried to talk to her had he told her how much she meant to him. What a fool he had been. “No,” he whispered.
“Maybe you should.” Her voice was equally soft, perfectly matching his own.
“I love you, Sarah Miller.”
* * *
It was all she had been waiting for and more, yet she couldn’t make herself move closer to him. What if this was a dream? What if she reached for him and woke up empty-handed? She had waited so long for Jonah to see what they could have together, and she couldn’t take the chance that he would disappear into thin air and leave her heartbroken once again.
“You love me?” Those were the only words she could squeeze past the lump in her throat. He loved her? How long had she wanted to hear those words from his lips? How could she believe them? “Why?” Not exactly what she meant to ask.
Jonah chuckled. “Sometimes I’m not so sure myself. You can be strong-headed and uncompromising, but I think it’s your smile.”
She held her breath and waited for him to continue.
“When you smile your whole face lights up. Not just your eyes. You smile with every ounce of your expression. It pulls me in and makes me want to smile right along with you.
“And when you cry, my heart weeps with you. I may not show it, but I feel every tear on the inside.
“I can’t say why God put us through so much before He brought us here, but I do know this: He brought us here for a reason, and that was to love one another always.”
Always. It was the best word she had ever heard.
“Sarah?”
Once he spoke her name she realized that he had been talking all this time and she hadn’t said one word. She hadn’t even moved from her position of half climbing onto her buggy.
Her mare stamped her feet with impatience.
“Jah?”
“Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Jah.”
He frowned and those sweet maple syrup eyes clouded over. “But you don’t feel the same. Listen, just give me a chance. I’ll make you love me again, I promise. Just please say you’ll come back home.”
“Jah.” The word burst from her like a lit bottle rocket. “Jah! Jah! Jah!”
She launched herself at him, and thankfully he braced himself as he caught her.
She loved the feel of his arms around her. Loving arms that she had been waiting for her entire life. She and Jonah had been through trials and tribulations that most never suffered. But they would be stronger for it.
He held her close, so close, and she loved every minute of it.
“It looks like my work here is done,” the bishop quipped. He disappeared back into his house.
Sarah laughed and Jonah rocked her back and forth.
“Mine too,” April said.
“What made you come here?” Jonah asked.
“I wanted to talk to you. I left messages on the phone but you never called me back.”
“Buddy,” Jonah grumbled. He released Sarah but kept her close, her fingers tucked into his palm.
“You think Buddy erased April’s messages?” Sarah asked.
“I know he did. It seems you have a fan club,” he said to Sarah.
She smiled a little to herself, knowing someone would have to talk to Buddy about personal boundaries. But until then...
“What’s on your mind, April?” Sarah tempered her voice to sound caring and concerned. She may have viewed April as her competition, but she would learn to treat her as a friend. It wouldn’t be hard.
“I realized that all Jonah was doing didn’t include telling you he loved you. And that was the most important thing of all.”
“You drove all the way out here for that?” Sarah asked. She had heard stories of non-caring Englishers. That term didn’t describe April at all.
“Well, yeah. I want the two of you to be happy.”
Jonah squeezed her fingers. “We will be.”
April nodded. “I know.” She flashed them both a smile, then with a small wave she got in her car and left.
Jonah pulled her close to his side. “Let’s go home.”
Sarah nodded. She wanted nothing more. She might not understand the hows and the whys. One day she might, but for now she knew: God had led her home.
Epilogue
The last hour of church was always the longest. Jonah never understood why, but it simply was. He glanced over to where Sarah sat. They were separated by the walkway between the benches, but only that.
As if sensing his gaze, she looked up and smiled.
The gesture was so sweet he wanted to hold her in his arms, but they still had an hour of sermon and an afternoon of fellowship before he could have her alone. But he could have the next best thing. He nodded toward their daughter she held in her arms.
Elisa Mae Miller had just turned three months old, and he was pleased to say that she was the image of her mother. A soft tuft of dark hair graced her tiny head, and her eyes were the blue of the sky after a refreshing rain.
Sarah smiled and he was reminded once again what a wonderful mother she had become. Perfect in every way, much like the daughter she had given him. She gave Elisa Mae a small kiss on the forehead and passed her to him. She smelled like baby lotion and all things good and fine in the world. He cradled her to his chest and breathed in her innocence.
After all he and Sarah had been through, Jonah knew that Elisa Mae was more than a blessing; she was the promise of the future. A future he and Sarah would spend together.
He held his daughter close and let the words of the bishop wash over him.
“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”
He allowed his gaze to roam around the congregation. Mercy was abundant, to be sure. The last couple of years had brought about a great many changes. Lorie had moved on, married Zach Calhoun, and joined the English. He knew she kept a foot in each world, but with the English was truly where she belonged. She was still painting, still teaching at the senior center.
Jonah gazed into the tiny, sleeping face of his baby girl and he wondered when Lorie would have such a blessing. He wished that for her and more.
Luke Lambright had moved on as well, but no one had truly expected him to stay with the Amish. He was too adventuresome to be confined with something like religion. Jonah just hoped he remembered to leave room for God.
And Sadie Kauffman Hein visited from time to time, bringing her Mennonite husband Ezra along as well. Their son, Jake, was almost a year old now and the spittin’ image of his father.
But for all the faces that were absent, there were more still present. Caroline and Andrew Fitch along with their children, Emma and Holly, had surely become as important to their community as if they had been born there. And baby number three was due sometime in the fall.
Titus and Abbie Lambert were successful raising their camels for milk. Though the Lord had not blessed them with any children, Jonah had a feeling that it wouldn’t be much longer now. All things in time. And for now, Wells Landing had been more than blessed with new citizens. Clara Rose and Obie Brenneman had a new baby boy, Emily and Elam Riehl had two baby girls, and Mariana and Reuben’s twins were growing by leaps and bounds. Tess and Jacob Smiley hadn’t been blessed with any children yet, but they wer
e still raising kids. The goat kind, that was. And despite the problems they’d had, the couple seemed happier every time he saw them.
Elisa Mae stirred in his arms and fussed a bit. He adjusted her onto his shoulder, loving the feel of her tiny body against his chest. He patted Elisa Mae on the back to soothe her.
He had never imagined he would be here. Not when Sarah had come to his house to tell him the devastating news of her unplanned pregnancy. He never thought that he would be living this moment. Never dreamed how happy he could be.
The bishop talked on, but Jonah’s favorite verse came to mind even over Cephas’s lesson.
“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”
But Jonah knew, the Lord had surely delighted in them.
