Completely Smitten

by Susan Mallery

  He retreated to his room, half closing his adjoining door, but leaving hers open.

  She hesitated, wondering what on earth he’d meant, then she realized she didn’t have much time and hurried toward the suitcase she’d brought in. After collecting a dress and the small bag of cosmetics she’d purchased at Wal-Mart, she ducked into the bathroom.

  Haley washed her face and applied moisturizer, then studied the contents of her makeup bag. The basics were easy. She’d applied mascara a few times and lip gloss was self-explanatory, but what about eye shadow and base?

  She shook the flesh-colored bottle, but chickened out at the thought of putting that goopy liquid all over her face. There was a little diagram on the back of the eye shadow compact, showing where each of the three colors should go. She followed the instructions, using a minimal amount of color, then smudging everything with her finger.

  Huh. Maybe it was just the light in here, but she thought her eyes looked bigger and more blue. Was it possible that shading her eyelids had really worked?

  Mascara went on next, then lip gloss. She studied her hair, but there wasn’t much she could do with the short, flyaway style. Unfortunately.

  Next was her outfit for the evening. She pulled off her jeans and T-shirt and stood in her underwear while she studied her choice. The breezy summer dress she’d bought had skinny straps. Very skinny straps. Straps that were much, much skinnier than her bra straps. She hadn’t noticed that before.

  Okay, so what exactly did she do about that? She didn’t want her bra showing, but the alternative was unthinkable. She would be punished for sure. After all, wearing shorts was one thing, but going without a bra? A tornado would suck her up in a heartbeat.

  Still, showing her bra straps was just plain tacky. A lot of people seemed to do it, but to her it was like going out with her slip hanging two inches below her dress. Yuck. Which meant she could either pick another dress, wear this one with a bra or wear it without and risk potentially cosmic consequences.

  Haley squeezed her eyes tightly shut and turned away from the mirror. Without even daring to breathe, she undid her bra and let it fall to the floor. Then she pulled the dress over her head and tugged it into place. Only then did she dare to open her eyes and face her reflection.

  The first thing she noticed was the big old tag hanging down nearly to her waist. She pulled that off, then held out her arms to try to see if anyone could really tell she wasn’t wearing a bra. It wasn’t as if her chest was huge; if she didn’t move too much, neither did her breasts. The fabric was lined, so nothing physically showed through. Still, Haley felt more than a little naked.

  Reminding herself that she was supposed to be living life on the wild side now, and determined to ignore the sensation of being unclothed, she went in search of her strappy sandals. She’d barely finished fastening them when Kevin knocked on the adjoining door.

  “Are you ready?” he asked.

  “Um, I think so.”

  She stood and grabbed for her purse as he walked into her room.

  “I’m looking forward to having a steak tonight,” he said. “There’s nothing like a bullet wound to make a man want red—”

  He came to a stop about three steps into her room. His mouth stayed open, but he wasn’t talking. His gaze moved over her, starting at the top of her head and slowly moving down to her bare toes, then making the return trip. She couldn’t tell if he’d hesitated on her chest or not and she didn’t really want to know. Instead, she stared slightly over his left shoulder and waited for him to say something. Anything.

  “You look amazing.”

  She blinked, then smiled at him. “Really?”

  “Absolutely. Apparently preachers’ daughters from Ohio clean up real good.”

  His compliment made her beam. “You don’t think it’s too much? I mean I was worried that the dress was a little too…” She shrugged. “Racy.”

  She wasn’t sure but she thought he might have swallowed.

  “It’s perfect. I’m going to be fighting guys off all evening. Maybe I should bring my gun.”

  She knew he was teasing, but his words still made her feel good. No one had ever even hinted that she might be attractive enough to capture the attention of more than one man at a time.

  She studied his new jeans pulled on over his bandage and the tucked-in polo shirt that revealed his broad chest and narrow waist. “You look nice, too.”

  “Thanks. Let’s go eat. I’m starved.”

  They made their way out of the motel room and across the parking lot to the restaurant. The hostess showed them to a booth right away. Haley slid in across from Kevin. He settled himself in place and hooked his cane over the edge of the table. She picked up the menu the hostess had left, but instead of opening it, she studied the restaurant.

  Booths lined the walls of the open room. There were votive candles on the tables and sawdust swirls on the floor. A bar filled the left side of the building and she could just catch the faint sound of a country music song.

  This was the kind of place people came to have fun and Haley found herself wanting to join in. Her foot tapped in time with the music and she couldn’t help smiling as she turned her attention back to Kevin.

  “This is great,” she said.

  “Your kind of place?”

  She’d never thought of herself as having a “place.” A type of establishment that appealed to her. She’d never been the one making the decisions about where to go to eat at a restaurant. But if it were up to her…

  She nodded. “Absolutely. What about you?”

  “Show me a good steak and I’m a happy man.”

  “Hi, there. Can I get you a drink?”

  Haley turned her attention to the woman standing by their table. She was tall, busty and blond. Her lowcut spandex top clung to curves impressive enough to make a rock star look twice. Haley suddenly felt as if she were playing dress-up and not doing a very good job of things.

  Kevin shrugged. “I’m off liquor because of the painkillers. What would you like?”

  Haley couldn’t think that fast. She didn’t know the names of drinks and she didn’t want to appear stupid in front of the centerfold-material blonde. She was about to ask the woman to give her a minute when Kevin came to her rescue.

  “Maybe you’d allow me to pick a glass of wine for you,” he said.

  “I’d like that.”

  He glanced at the wine list on the back of the menu. “The lady will have a glass of Pinot Noir.”

  The waitress scribbled the order, flashed a smile and left. Haley was too caught up in the words “the lady will have” to much notice. She knew it was just good manners and all that, but no one had ever called her a lady before. Not like that. She’d been instructed to act like a lady for most of her life, which wasn’t the same thing at all.

  A young man brought them water and bread, then their waiter took their order. She and Kevin both picked steaks, although she chose a petite fillet and he went for the large New York cut. Seconds later, her wine appeared.

  She eyed the purplish-red wine. If she hadn’t liked white, which everyone said was easier to drink, she had a bad feeling she wasn’t going to like this one, either.

  Kevin picked up his water glass. “Try it,” he urged. “You’ll be surprised.”

  As nearly everything about being with him was surprising, that wasn’t a stretch. She took a cautious sip and blinked.

  “It’s nice,” she told him. “Sort of sweet and fruity. Not bitter at all.”

  He grinned. “Trust is an important part of our relationship. I figure you’ll be safe with two glasses. That way you’ll have the fun of getting buzzed without feeling bad like last time.”

  She grimaced. “I don’t want to get that sick again ever.”

  “Good for you. Smart people figure that out the first time. The rest of the world keeps getting sick.”

  That didn’t make sense to her. Who would want to go through that kind of near-death experience more
than once? She would have to—

  “Stop fidgeting,” Kevin growled.

  Haley stared at him. “What?”

  He jerked his chin toward her left shoulder. She realized she’d been playing with the skinny straps of her dress.

  “You’re making me crazy,” he told her. “It’s bad enough that you’re showing more skin than should be legal, but I don’t need you reminding me that you’re not wearing a bra.”

  Heat flared on her cheeks with the speed of a rocket heading for outer space. Her mouth opened then closed. Instinctively she crossed her arms over her chest and ducked her head. She felt like an idiot.

  Kevin sighed. “Dammit, Haley, I’m not trying to hurt your feelings. But I would like to get through dinner without thinking about sex more than fifty or sixty times.”

  She remembered the blond waitress who had made her own modest “charms” seem positively concave by comparison. “Sex with me?” she whispered.

  “Yes, with you.”

  Wow! Kevin had thought about them…well, doing it? Being naked and…

  She blushed harder. “Wow,” she said, then took a sip of her wine.

  He sighed heavily. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded. Her shame had faded, leaving only delight.

  “Then let’s change the subject.” He leaned toward her. “Why don’t you tell me about the guy you’re running from?”

  Chapter Eight

  Haley was glad she’d already put her wineglass down because her whole body lurched when Kevin spoke. She didn’t know what to say, what to think. Had she mentioned Allan? In the past couple of days had she inadvertently explained why she’d left town?

  She searched her memory and couldn’t come up with a single instance, which meant Kevin had somehow figured out the truth.

  “How did you know?” she asked.

  “I put the pieces together. It wasn’t that hard. Why else would you leave a town filled with people who care about you?”

  She hated to think she’d been so obvious. “They care, but they also stifle me. One of the reasons I left was to figure out how to be my own person.”

  “A reason to move,” he told her, “but not to run. So who’s the jerk? Did he break your heart?”

  There was something about the way he asked the question—as if the answer mattered. As if Allan being mean to her would make Kevin angry. A little thrill shot through her. Until Kevin, no man had ever offered to defend her before. Not that he had come and said he would, but she guessed if this was her private fantasy, she could imagine him riding to the rescue and drawing his sword on her behalf.

  She allowed herself a half-second vision of Allan stretched out on the ground, a large sword pointing at his throat, then pushed it away. He’d done a lot of things she didn’t agree with but she couldn’t exactly say he’d been horrible to her. Was not listening an offense worthy of death? She didn’t think so.

  She glanced at Kevin and shrugged. “I’m not sure where to begin.”

  “Why don’t you tell me his name and how you met?”

  She considered the question, then realized the problem had started long before Allan had showed up in her life.

  “I told you about how I grew up,” she said. “Not with one mother but with fifty. How everyone always had an opinion about what I should be doing and wearing and where I should be going.” He nodded.

  “So I was used to be pushed around. I know they all did it out of love, but somehow what started out as a gesture of affection somehow became a community hobby. Everyone had a piece of my life but me.”

  She rested her fingertips on the base of her wineglass. “I’ve already explained that I didn’t date much in high school or college. I really wanted to find someone, though. I’d always imagined myself as a wife and a mother. I love kids.”

  “Then you picked the right profession.”

  She brightened at the thought. “Yes, I did. I think I would be a very good teacher. Not that anyone else agreed with me.”

  “What about the guy?”

  “I met Allan the summer I turned twenty. I was home from college and he’d just been hired as the associate pastor. He’s a few years older than me.”

  Kevin didn’t say anything. He just watched her with his dark eyes and kept his expression unreadable. She would guess that none of this made sense to him. Kevin had never let anyone run his life. He’d been in charge of his own destiny for years. Why couldn’t she be more like that?

  “So you were instantly attracted to him?” he asked.

  “No. Not really. I mean, he was nice and everything, but I didn’t even see him as a guy until my father’s secretary said something about him being good-looking. Then someone else mentioned he was single and a third person told me he’d said he thought I was pretty. After a while I got the message that the congregation thought it would be wonderful if we started dating, so we did.”

  “How did Allan feel about the decision being made for him?”

  “I don’t know. At the time I would have said it was his idea, too, but now…” She sighed. “I’m not sure.”

  “So you dated?”

  “Yeah. He was fun and interesting, but he had some really specific ideas about the woman in his life. He didn’t want me wearing jeans, not even at home. I think if I’d put on shorts, he would have had a heart attack. When I told him about wanting to be a teacher, he talked about how beautifully I played the piano, and how important that was for a preacher’s wife. He encouraged me to volunteer, to not have any friends of my own or any opinions.”

  She took a sip of her wine. “I didn’t get that all at once. Over the past few years I’ve figured out that his ‘suggestions’ were really instructions. I’d never felt in control of my life and suddenly I had less control than before. I was sneaking around at college, secretly taking courses for my teaching credentials while getting a masters in music.”

  “So why did you stay with him?”

  “Because it was expected. Because I didn’t know what love was and everyone told me I was in love with him. After a while, I thought I was. So when he proposed, I said yes.”

  She waited for a reaction, but except for the faint twitch of a muscle in his jaw, Kevin didn’t react.

  “Did you marry him?” he asked.

  Her eyes widened. “No! I wouldn’t be here with you if I was married. I wouldn’t have…have…” If there was a time to swear, this was it. She could feel her face getting hot.

  She glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention to them, then leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I would never have kissed you if I’d been married.”

  “Fair enough. So what happened to the engagement?”

  “We were supposed to be married at the end of the month.”

  Finally Kevin looked surprised. “This month.”

  “Uh-huh. Things hadn’t been going well between us, but the wedding plans were a runaway train and I didn’t know how to stop them. Everyone was involved. Over three hundred invitations went out.” She briefly closed her eyes against the memory of addressing all those envelopes. It had taken her weeks. She’d wanted to ask for help, but Allan had believed it was the bride’s responsibility to do it herself, that it showed respect for the guests.

  “I couldn’t talk to anyone and even if I could, what could I have complained about? That Allan didn’t listen? That sometimes I felt I wasn’t a person to him?” She shook her head. “They would have said I was ungrateful.”

  “How didn’t he listen?”

  “Oh, in different ways. I wanted kids right away but he didn’t, so three months ago he made an appointment and took me to my doctor to get me on the Pill. I wanted to go to Hawaii for our honeymoon, but he wanted to go to Branson, so that’s where we were going. Silly stuff.”

  Kevin reached across the table and put his hand on top of hers. His dark gaze seemed to see down to the depths of her being.

  “None of that is silly,” he said quietly. “Marriage is supposed to be
a partnership, not a dictatorship. Allan was wrong not to pay attention to what would make you happy.”

  No one had ever said that to her before. A lightness filled Haley and made her want to float up to the ceiling like an escaped balloon. “Yeah?”

  He nodded. “The guy sounds like a jerk. So what happened? You finally couldn’t stand it anymore and took off?”

  Suddenly ashamed, she withdrew her hand and ducked her head. “No,” she whispered. “I didn’t have the backbone for that. I was having a lot of second thoughts, but I was afraid to say anything. Then Allan came to me and told me he wasn’t sure he was in love with me. He wanted to postpone the wedding.”

  Kevin muttered something that sounded like a string of really bad words. She tried not to listen.

  “I got mad,” she admitted, looking at him again. “I wasn’t hurt, I was furious. I couldn’t believe that I’d given up my entire life and everything I wanted for a man who wasn’t even sure he was in love with me.”

  “So you ran.”

  “I escaped,” she corrected. “Right then and there I vowed I would never again, as long as I lived, do what other people thought was right. I would only do what I thought was right for me. So I left home and started driving to Hawaii.” She thought about the beautiful pictures she’d seen over the years. “I’ve always wanted to visit the islands.”

  Kevin watched Haley’s expression turn wistful. His gut twisted in a rage he hadn’t felt in years. He wanted to go find the jerk who’d treated her so badly and pound his self-centered, egotistic self into dust. He didn’t have time for bullies and that’s just what Allan had been. He sensed right away that the guy was stronger than Haley so he’d assumed that had given him the right to run her life and dictate terms.

  Somewhere along the way Allan had decided it was all right for him to be in charge, to know best.

  “I’m impressed you managed to get your teaching degree, despite everything,” he said.

  “I can be patient.” A smile curved up the corners of her mouth. “And maybe a little bit sneaky. Honestly, I hated lying to everyone but getting that degree was really important to me and I didn’t think it was such a horrible thing. It’s not like I wanted to be a stripper. Besides, we need more teachers.”