She knew Callahan was studying her, but she couldn’t lift her gaze from her lap. It felt too heavy. Everything felt heavy. “I suppose he thought a clean, quick break would be best.”
Josh had run away. From her, from what they could have together. It wasn’t the same thing she was trying to do at all. She half wondered if he was making plans to move out of their building. Why did I think I could make this work? On the plus side, he’d never cared enough to run from previous relationships. He’d been very casual about his breakups until now. She felt herself smile for the first time that morning.
“Well, I’m happy to give you two weeks,” she told Callahan. In fact, it gave her more time to make phone calls. She’d picked up business cards and interested contacts over the years and had plenty in savings to get by for a couple of months, but it wasn’t as though she had a brand-new job lined up yet. “After that, I can wrap up a few things from home if you need it.”
“Can I make a counteroffer, Piper? Why don’t you take a personal day, maybe two, and reconsider? As a favor to me. You started out at the appropriate level here at C, K and M, but maybe we didn’t advance you as quickly as we should have. Your review is coming up soon, or was, and I had planned to increase your leadership responsibilities then. Perhaps I should have done so before now.”
He was making her a project manager. She’d wanted this, but she wanted Josh to share it with even more. “I…my quitting was not an attempt to force your hand, sir.”
He nodded. “I understand.”
She rather feared he did, and tears pricked her eyes, making her blink. All this energy she’d put into her job, all the times she’d insisted she didn’t need or want a man in her life. No wonder they said be careful what you wished for.
In the end, Piper did accept a personal day to rethink her decision. Given what she’d learned about Josh in her meeting with Callahan, it made considerably less sense to leave C, K and M, but she could use some time to clear her head. Driving back to her apartment, she reevaluated her other plans, as well. Should she still try to convince Josh of her feelings?
Yes. If she didn’t, she’d be letting fear control her as much as he was letting his past control him. She’d talk to him, but not today. It wasn’t even 9:00 a.m. when she stepped back inside her apartment, but she already felt as if she’d been put through the emotional wringer.
After taking a restless nap on her couch and watching some really bad afternoon television, which almost made her feel better about her own life, Piper decided she’d wallowed enough. Since she had some unexpected free time, she might as well use it for something besides looking around her apartment at the places she and Josh had made love during their brief but intense relationship.
Silencing a distraught soap opera grande dame with a well-aimed remote control, Piper rose from the sofa. Laundry was a top priority; she’d been going through workout clothes faster than normal lately. Then maybe a trip to the grocery store. She was also going through a lot of Chocomel bars since she’d been home. After she’d gathered a hamper of clothes and a pen and pad to make a shopping list, she walked out to the elevator in her socks.
As she approached the laundry room, she heard the rhythmic rumble of a dryer. She turned the corner, and her heart stopped at the sight of Josh sitting in one of the blue plastic chairs. His shoulders were slumped, and he was running a hand through his hair. Not for the first time, judging by the unkempt furrows in the dark mass. Yet he still looked heartbreakingly sexy, she thought, her eyes sliding from his strong, achingly familiar profile to his leanly muscled torso and the denim-clad legs stretched out in front of him.
He straightened as soon as he realized he wasn’t alone, turning toward her with a friendly smile that was replaced by a much more sincere look of shock when he saw it was her. “Piper! What are you doing here?”
Josh couldn’t believe his eyes. He’d been thinking of her nonstop since he’d last seen her Friday evening, and now she was standing there as though she’d simply walked out of his imagination. Except in not one of his mental images had she been balancing a white clothes hamper against her hip and scowling at him.
“You thought I’d be at the office.” She made it an accusation.
“Well, it is the middle of the day on Monday.” Which was precisely why he was here now. He’d solved the seeing-her-at-work problem, and figured with some effort to avoid her in the building, they could both live in the same apartment complex for a while. “Why aren’t you at the office?”
She stepped forward, dropping her hamper on a low table with an angry thud. “Same reason you aren’t. I quit.”
Regret pooled inside him, churning in his stomach. Not only had he been a jerk, he’d screwed up her job for her. “You shouldn’t quit. You don’t need to quit. I—”
“Beat me to it. Yeah, that’s what Callahan said. I don’t know why I was even surprised. You leave relationships, you leave my apartment, you leave the company.”
He managed not to flinch at the reproach in her voice. “All for the best.”
She snorted, hands planted on her hips. Any other time, her feisty demeanor might have made him smile. “It’s not for the best. It’s nuts, you know that? This could be great. We could be great.”
For a second, he was too stunned to say anything. He’d hardly expected her to speak to him again, much less argue in favor of their being together. Was there a chance she still wanted him, a chance he could give her what she needed if she did take him back? He squelched the unexpected hope before it could hurt someone.
But he couldn’t squelch Piper. She narrowed her eyes and made a decidedly unromantic vow of affection. “I love you, you idiot, and I’m pretty sure you could love me if you’d stop screwing this up for both of us.”
I love you. Though some part of him had known how she felt, her declaration rattled him nonetheless. He’d known Piper didn’t take sex or their friendship lightly, and while maybe their night in Rebecca could have “just happened,” she never would have continued with their fling if she didn’t have very strong feelings for him. But it had been a long time since anyone had actually said those words to him, even longer since someone had truly meant it.
She was right about his feelings, too. He’d probably started falling in love with her the night he’d moved into his apartment and had encountered her in this very room, dancing to a rock ballad on the radio while her darks were on spin cycle.
“Piper, I—”
“No.” She held up her hand. “I let you say things that weren’t true on Friday, let you push me away, and I’m not giving you that chance again. You’re not pushing me away now, Josh. I’m leaving of my own accord so that you don’t do the guy thing and say more stupid stuff you can’t take back. Just think about this, okay? Think about what it would be like to finally have something that lasts with someone who loves you.”
Without even pausing to collect her clothes, she pivoted and marched toward the doorway, and he knew what her hurry was. He’d heard the tremor in her voice and hated himself for any tears he’d caused her. But the shakiness with which she’d spoken didn’t mask her conviction in what she was saying, a bone-deep certainty he envied. He didn’t think he’d ever let himself be sure of anything he couldn’t control, never let himself trust in an emotion that completely.
She’d offered him love that lasted. Was it really within his grasp?
That dark voice inside started to tell him no, of course not, but Josh shut it out. He’d shied away from hope and clung to fear, and where had it landed him? Alone and miserable without Piper. A future of missing her stretched before him.
You couldn’t do anything about your past. But you can do something about this.
And if he didn’t, then she was right. He was an idiot.
Josh stepped off the elevator and into the hall, but the walk to Piper’s front door had never seemed so long. It was almost comical how hard his heart was thudding against his chest. How many times over the last two years h
ad he traced this very same path? She’d told him a mere hour ago that she loved him, so why was he still so scared?
Because maybe she’s come to her senses by now.
He ignored the pessimistic thought and knocked on her door. “Piper, it’s me, Josh.”
After the way he’d behaved, he wouldn’t have blamed her if she refused to answer. If all else failed, maybe he could ransom the hamper full of clothes she’d abandoned in exchange for her hearing him out. But she opened the door, swinging it wide with a wary expression on her face. She was dressed the same as she had been earlier—ponytail, sweatpants, T-shirt. Somehow the contrast between the nondescript clothes and her own beauty made her even sexier than if she’d been wearing something obviously attractive.
“You really are beautiful.” That hadn’t been how he’d planned to start the conversation, but how could he go wrong with an opener like that?
“If you came down here with empty flattery, I’ll break a vase over your head.” But she sounded more uncertain than her bravado implied. She was trying to decide why he was here at all, and not quite allowing herself to hope. He knew the feeling.
“There was nothing empty about what I said. Can I come in?” He held out the green-cellophane-wrapped cone. “I would have been here sooner, but I wanted to get you these.”
She glanced at the clusters of baby breath peeking out. “Flowers?”
“Not exactly.”
She looked down inside the wrapping and laughed. He wondered if she’d ever seen a Chocomel bouquet before. It had certainly been a first for the surprised florist.
“I figured it was a good start toward groveling for forgiveness.” His body tightened as he recalled playfully seeking her forgiveness on their first date, making love with her in her kitchen. He’d like nothing more than the physical reassurance of holding her close and making love now. But they had to talk first.
Glancing up from the bouquet to meet his gaze, Piper smiled. “I love you.”
He didn’t think he’d ever get used to hearing it. “I—” Paralyzing fear gripped him, but it wasn’t as strong as what he felt for this woman. The words had gone unsaid too long. “I love you, too.”
Her expression blossomed, full of tenderness and radiant joy. The Chocomels fell to the floor as she moved forward to wrap her arms around his neck. She pulled him closer and proceeded to kiss him breathless.
Stepping inside her apartment without breaking the kiss, Josh nudged the door closed behind them. He nipped her lower lip, but then angled his head away from hers. “We have to stop.”
“Maybe we should take a vote on that,” Piper told him, nibbling the side of his neck.
Need trembled through him. She had to know it was about more than just the sex, though. “We can vote just as soon as we’ve talked.”
Her arms slid to her sides as she glanced up at him in shock. “Really? You’d rather talk?” She didn’t look so much disappointed as optimistic, and he was reminded of how badly he’d botched things up during the past week. He was also reminded of everything he wanted. Love. Commitment. All the things he’d been afraid to hope for, but that now seemed possible with Piper beside him.
“Yeah. You deserve to know how you make me feel.” He took her hand, leading her over to the sofa, determined to get it all out before he regressed. “I know you just needed someone for the weekend, Piper, but… You know better than anyone that I wasn’t looking for someone to share my life, but over the last two years, you’ve become so important to me. I can’t really imagine you not being there in the years to come. Actually, I can. That’s what I’ve been doing the last few days, and it’s been awful.”
She squeezed his hand, but didn’t say anything, and he took the silent encouragement to go on. He wanted to be with her, but she should know what she was getting.
“I love you—I can’t believe how good it feels to finally say it—but I’m probably going to screw this up in dozens of ways.”
Her voice was thick with unshed tears. “Then you’ll make it up to me in dozens more. Josh, I know you. You’re kind and giving and passionate. You have more capacity to love than you think.”
Her faith in him was humbling. He framed his face with her hands. “Maybe you just bring it out in me.” He leaned forward to kiss her, his body raging with the need to show her physically how much he cherished her. But he stopped himself, worried about one other thing and determined not to rush into sex just because it was so much easier than talking. “I’ll support your decision if it’s what you really want to do, but I wish you hadn’t quit your job. Not because of me.”
He’d quit for the wrong reasons initially, but the fact of the matter was he looked forward to the challenge of building his own business. Piper, on the other hand, had been determined to prove herself at C, K and M and had done good work there. He hated that she’d left.
Leaning forward, she brushed her lips against his in what was less a kiss and more a promise of things to come. “Don’t worry. Callahan and I are negotiating for me to return. I might even get a raise out of this, so you did me a favor.” She shot Josh a sheepish smile. “Speaking of past favors… You’re prepared to deal with my family in order to be with me?”
“I love your nutty relatives almost as much as I love you.” He touched his tongue to the soft spot just below her earlobe, and she shivered. “You think you can handle my not being used to sharing my emotions with anyone?”
“Don’t worry. You’ll get better with practice, and I’m not giving up on you.”
Not giving up on him. God, he loved her.
She ran her hand underneath the hem of his shirt, her fingers skimming up his chest, resting near his heart. “You’re okay with the fact that I can barely cook anything besides chocolate chip pancakes and lasagna?”
“That’s what takeout’s for,” he answered, loving her touch against his skin. “You should be aware, I’m pretty certain I snore.”
“Worth it to have you in my bed,” she assured him.
He pulled her closer, lifting her from the couch to straddle his lap, groaning at the friction of her sweet, sexy weight atop him. Their mouths met, and he’d never been more hungry for a kiss, wanting to greedily lap up every joy this woman could bring to his life. Wanting to give her the same joy.
She pulled back slightly, her smile as full of mischief as it was adoration. “So would now be a good time to vote on whether or not we should make love? All in favor—”
“Aye.”
ISBN 13: 978-1-4268-8781-9
COMPLETELY SMITTEN
Copyright © 2011 by Harlequin Books S.A.
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COMPLETELY SMITTEN
Copyright © 2003 by Susan Macias Redmond
HERS FOR THE WEEKEND
Copyright © 2004 by Tanya Michna
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Completely Smitten Page 36
