by Amity Cross
There was another thing we had in common besides our impeccable good looks…our stubborn pride.
Josie was out at a meeting with the AUFC, and Coach was someplace I didn’t know, so it was just me and my brother locked in the gym training. Somehow, I knew it was a ploy to force us to work out our differences over who was going to challenge O’Connell. I still wanted it to be me, and Lincoln still wanted it to be him. So far, nothing had changed.
He’d turned up his nose and was ignoring me like a little girl, sticking his headphones in his ears so he couldn’t hear me. If I’d known he was going to be such a baby after his first loss, I would’ve beaten him up myself. Pussy.
The intercom by the door buzzed, making me sigh in annoyance. Knowing Linc was sulking in his own world, I strode over to the door as it buzzed again.
Jamming my finger on the intercom button, I said, “Yeah?”
“Hi, I’m looking for Dean Hayes?”
I paused at the sound of a female voice, but I couldn’t recognize it through the static. It could be any number of my past conquests tracking me down for another go, or it could be a right hook to the face. Best to proceed with caution.
“Who’s this?” I asked, glancing over at Lincoln. Thankfully, he still had his headphones jammed in his ears and couldn’t hear what was going on.
“Monica.”
I stared at the little box on the wall, and my heart began to beat double time. She was the last person I expected to hear from after the brush-off she gave me back in Melbourne. What the fuck was she doing here?
Knowing I had to get rid of her before she caused any trouble with Josie, I pressed the button on the intercom and said, “Wait there, I’ll be down in a sec.”
Grabbing my hoodie, I slid my arms into it and zipped up the front. Leaving Lincoln behind none the wiser, I clattered down the stairs and pushed out into the lane.
She was waiting by the door as I emerged, looking exactly as I remembered her from the other week—tall, lithe, athletic, big brown eyes, long wavy hair, and pouty lips… Monica Miller.
I used to get this rush of longing when I laid eyes on her, but standing before her now? All I could see was Josie.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, leading her around the corner and out of sight of the gym. Last thing anyone needed was for Josie or Coach Miller to turn up and see the bane of their existence hovering outside their workplace.
She followed me without question, not even doing a double take when I parked her near a skip bin. Clandestine liaisons in stinky alleyways must be her thing.
“I’ve come to make amends…” she began, and I narrowed my eyes.
“Coach isn’t here,” I said, sliding my hands into the pockets of my hoodie. I didn’t want amends. I wanted her to go away.
“Oh…”
I sighed sharply, turning my gaze away from her.
“I’ve been thinking,” Monica went on awkwardly, her gaze pulling mine back to her. “Ever since you came to see me, I’ve been wondering if I made the wrong decision.”
“What?” I frowned, wondering where the hell this was coming from. She’d always had impeccable timing, and I began to suspect she’d heard about Josie and me…but I wouldn’t know how.
“I’ve been doing really good,” Monica went on. “Working through my feelings and making amends. I realized that all these years, I’ve been wrong. I treated you horribly, and I’m sorry. I was blind.”
The world had dropped out of view, and all I could see was Monica Miller standing in front of me, practically on her hands and knees begging for forgiveness. I’d imagined her in the same position many times, but instead of begging, she was sucking. I’d jerked off plenty of times to the same image back when I was a horny teenage boy and later as a full-grown man, but right now, I didn’t want to imagine her in any scene that involved my cock.
Please, don’t say it, I thought. Please, don’t say it.
“I want to make a go of things, Dean,” she said, looking up at me hopefully. “You and me.”
After ten long years, she was finally saying the words I was so desperate to hear, and I didn’t feel anything. Scratch that. I did feel something, but it had everything to do with getting rid of her.
I stared at her unblinking for what felt like a millennia before I could gather my thoughts.
“Monica…” I began, lowering my gaze until it hit the ground.
“I thought the best thing to do was to sever ties with my old life and start again,” she said, beginning to plead. “I realized I was just running from my problems, not dealing with them. I’ve come to make amends with you and Dad. I want you, Dean. I’ve always wanted you, but I was too young and stupid to realize. Now I’m not.”
I sucked in a deep breath and looked her over, wondering what I ever saw in the woman. Josie was right that morning in the gym when she said I wasn’t interested in Monica for who she was. I was only interested in fucking her, but I’d blown up the fantasy into something more.
It was that moment I realized I was falling for Josie Cunningham. It was her I wanted to wake up with. It was her I wanted to know. It was her I wanted to fuck. It was her I wanted to love. Her.
And I didn’t care who the fuck knew it.
“No,” I said, leveling my gaze at Monica.
“Dean…”
“Listen to me,” I said firmly. “I should’ve let you go a long fucking time ago. I was a fool to let you walk all over me back then. I was a fucking fool in love with the idea of putting his cock into something pretty, nothing more. There is nothing between us, Monica, and there never will be. Make good with your dad if you want, but you shouldn’t come back here to do it.”
Her mouth had fallen open, and tears were welling in her eyes, but I didn’t give a fuck. My only thought was for Josie, who would blow a gasket if she saw the woman she thought I was going to tear us apart for lingering in the shadows.
Stepping around Monica, I left her in the alley, nothing more than an afterthought at the end of a long, pointless story of unrequited lust. I’d closed the book and tossed it in the gutter—that’s how much it got under my skin. It was closure on an epic scale.
Going back up to the gym, I closed the door behind me and smirked at Lincoln’s back. Everything was just as I’d left it fifteen minutes before.
Josie was still out, Coach wasn’t back yet, and Linc was still sulking over his loss. Everything was the same, but I’d changed in so many ways it wasn’t funny. I’d evolved while the earth stood still, my mind clear and sharp. My focus was on point with laser precision and no longer split down the middle.
I knew what I wanted now, and I was going to get it.
Josie Cunningham was my happy ending.
19
Josie
Stepping off the bus, I made my way down the footpath toward the main street of Bondi.
Sometimes, I really hated the fact I didn’t have a car, but this city was a nightmare when it came to traffic. Public transport wasn’t much better, but it was a sight quicker than sitting in the parking lot that was Sydney’s streets on any given day. Melbourne wasn’t much different, but at least the trains weren’t as crowded as the bus I’d just shoehorned myself out of.
The meeting with the AUFC had gone well that morning, and despite Dean’s belief that I was forcing him to spend time alone with his twin to work out their beef over the challenge, I actually had to go and smooth things over with the powers that be.
The bad boy twin had ruffled some serious feathers when he’d punched Gabe at the Gala, and I’d just spent the better half of three hours convincing the head of Tightrope that it was an anomaly. A sizeable donation and the promise of scheduling more charity appearances and training days for their ragtag group of troubled teens had sweetened the deal.
For now, the waters had calmed, and it was back to the task at hand. Keeping Dean on the straight and narrow and working out who was going to make the challenge for the middleweight title. Thinking about how stu
bborn those boys could be, I’d rather go back into a room of highly-strung suits to plead clemency than mediate a pair of fighters out for blood.
My heels clacked on the cobblestones as I turned down the lane toward the gym. Fishing for my keys, I barely heard the sound of two people talking. Glancing up, I recognized Dean lingering around the corner in the shadows like he was some kind of dero dealing drugs.
My sixth sense began to tingle as I came to a halt. It was out of character to see him out here when he’d usually be upstairs training, and I started to feel uneasy. He didn’t see me approach, so I let my hand slip out of my bag and crept forward.
I took one step to the left, and that’s when I saw her. Monica Miller.
What the fuck… I went to step forward, anger searing through all of my nerve endings, but at the last second, I stopped myself. Taking a deep breath, I decided to listen. Maybe I was tempting fate, or maybe I had a death wish, but I wanted to know once and for all if Dean was telling the truth when he said he was in this with me. I wanted to know if my risk would pay off or if I’d wind up unemployed and heartbroken.
“I’ve been doing really good,” Monica was saying, the sound of her voice almost making me dry retch. “Working through my feelings and making amends. I realized that all these years, I’ve been wrong. I treated you horribly, and I’m sorry. I was blind.”
Bile rose in the back of my throat, and I pressed my palm against my forehead as my head started to spin. I should’ve hightailed it right then and there, but I couldn’t tear my eyes from the scene unfolding before me. What was that saying about car crashes and rubbernecking?
“I want to make a go of things, Dean,” Monica said, looking at him with hope in her eyes. “You and me.”
I squashed down the urge to stride over there and punch her perfect face, and my gaze darted to Dean’s. He had to say no, right? After everything we’d promised one another, he had to tell her he was with someone else.
But he didn’t. He hesitated, and it felt like he’d driven a knife straight through my heart.
He hesitated.
“Monica…” he began, but I couldn’t bear to listen to another word.
Spinning on my heel, I fled back the way I’d come and hurtled around the corner, almost colliding with someone walking the other way.
Muttering an apology, I strode toward the beach, fighting back tears even as the wind blew in my face trying to rip them from me.
When I hit the beach, I kicked off my heels and held them in my trembling fingers as I walked across the sand. My entire body felt numb as I watched the waves break on the shore. After a while, my gaze drew away from the rhythm and followed a man in a black wetsuit running into the water with a surfboard under his arm. I looked at everything and studied it in minute detail…anything to keep me from absorbing the truth.
Dean Hayes was still in love with Monica Miller.
By the time I went back to the gym, it was late.
The sun was low in the sky, the alley wreathed in shadow and darkness as I approached the gym. Nothing had soothed my broken heart, not even the calmness of the ocean lapping on the beach.
No matter what angle I looked at us from, I couldn’t escape the truth.
“I was wondering when I’d see you.”
My gaze snapped up and fixed on Monica as an unbelievable burst of rage threatened to take control.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I hissed, fully prepared to fight if I needed to.
Her lips curved into a devilish smile, and she glanced up at the gym. “You know why I’m here.”
“Hands off,” I snapped. “You think you can just waltz in here and flash your tits, and he’ll fall at your feet?” Even as I said it, I knew he already had, and my words just bounced off her without doing any damage.
“You’re fucking kidding me,” she said, looking me over in surprise. “You and Dean? Do you really think you were more to him than just something to pass the time? Poor little Josie. I’m here now.”
“You’re such a liar, Monica,” I said, squaring my shoulders. “You say you’ve changed, but I can see right through you. You’re rotten to the core.”
She sneered and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Here’s the thing… I won. He doesn’t want you. He wants me. You’ll never be anything more than a glorified sex doll—cheap and made of plastic, an empty whore for men to stick their cocks into.”
Bitch. If I hit her now, she’d slap an assault charge on me. I was powerless, and she knew it. All I could do was stand there and take her barbs. I was already numb, so they stuck in my heart without causing much of anything, but once the anesthesia wore off, it’d hurt like a bitch.
“You better go upstairs and pack up your desk,” she purred in triumph when she realized she had me in a corner. “Your services aren’t needed here anymore.”
Turning on her heel, Monica melted into the shadows, her work done for the evening. She’d gone back to her dark corner to wait for Dean and to reap the rewards of her awful scheming.
Shaking my head, I opened the door to the gym, everything spinning out of control.
Lincoln was walking out the upstairs door when I appeared, and he stopped me before I could go in.
“Hey,” he said, hesitating when he saw the look on my face. “Everything okay? Did the meeting not go to plan?”
“No,” I said, still reeling from my encounter with Monica outside. “It was fine. Just long.”
He frowned and shook his head in exasperation. “What’s he done this time?”
Snorting, I replied, “So every foul look on my face has to be the result of your brother’s latest fuck up?”
“Josie, I know.”
My expression dropped, and I tightened my grip on my bag. “Excuse me?”
“I know about you and Dean,” he said more firmly. “It’s cool. I have zero problem with it.”
“He told you?” I asked, sounding more offended than I had a right to be considering I’d blabbed to Violet on Saturday.
“I’m his twin brother,” he said with a kind smile. “I notice a lot more than most people. We’re two halves of a whole.”
Glancing at the door to the gym and then downstairs to the depths of hell, I wasn’t sure what to say.
“He’s still there,” Linc added. “I think he’s waiting for you. He’s got a feather up his butt about something.”
Or he was waiting for his brother to clear out so he could go fuck Monica Miller, who was downstairs hiding in the shadows until she could get him alone. At the thought of them fucking, I wanted nothing more than to throw up the bile that was stuck in the back of my throat.
If I fled now, then Lincoln would know something was up. If I went upstairs, I’d be forced to confront Dean. I wasn’t ready to face either, but I had to do something.
Stuck between a rock and a hard place, I forced a smile and nodded. “Thanks.”
I turned to go face the music when he called out, “Hey, Jo?”
“Yeah?”
“Whatever he’s done now, you guys will work it out. Give him a chance, hey?”
Give him a chance? Did he know who came to visit Dean today and who was lingering outside? Did he even realize that his brother was on the street starting something with the woman he’d had a crush on for ten years? Did he realize she was finally offering his brother what he’d always wanted?
I knew Dean had considered it despite me being in the picture. What we had wasn’t strong enough to stop him from hesitating. I wasn’t enough. I was a poor substitute for the ultimate dream.
I smiled thinly at Lincoln and lied to his face. “I’ll think about it.”
“Awesome. You guys are good for each other.” Like a hole in the head.
With a heavy heart, I watched him clatter down the stairs and push out onto the street.
How could Dean want me in the first place when I was so weak? I couldn’t even stand up for myself. I couldn’t see why any man would want to love someone like me. Th
ey never had and probably never would.
Punching in the code on the door, I opened it and stepped into the gym. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement at the far end of the room, but I kept my head down and strode into my office.
Dumping my bag on the desk, I began pulling out the paperwork I’d collected at the meeting with the AUFC and Tightrope. Contracts I had to get the Twins to sign when we’d worked out their schedule. How was I going to keep working here knowing that…
“Jo?”
Dean’s voice filtered through the gym, and I closed my eyes, praying for strength.
“Jo?” he said again. This time, he was standing in the doorway, his gaze fixed on my back.
I had to talk to him sooner or later, but I was fond of avoiding confrontations of the heart, so I’d rather it was later or not at all. I turned slightly so I could slide the contracts into my inbox to look at again in the morning.
I could sense him staring, and it unnerved me how my body wanted to fling itself at him despite all the chaos inside my heart. That confrontation was going to be now whether I wanted to face the truth or not.
“How did the meeting go?” he asked, leaning against the doorjamb.
“Fine,” I said briskly, shuffling papers on my desk. Anything to keep myself occupied. Anything to stop myself from bursting into tears.
“Just fine?”
“I had to make a sizeable donation to Tightrope on your behalf,” I said thinly. “And you’ll have to carve out extra time for training days. The AUFC was happy with the outcome.”
“So smooth sailing,” he murmured.
I could hear the concern in his voice, but I was still too much of a coward to raise my gaze and read his expression. He knew something was wrong.
“Jo,” he said, pushing off the doorjamb and stepping toward me. “We need to talk.”
“Yeah, we do,” I declared, leveling my gaze at him.
“I realized something today,” he murmured. “This thing with you and me. I’m all in. Every part of me. I know you’re worried about…” He sighed and ran his hand over his face. “I’ve put that part of me in the past. All I want is to be with you. No regrets.”
