“Let me guess,” he says, crossing his arms; “You’re an orphan?”
“How… how did you know?”
He’s staring at me in a way that makes me uncomfortable, like he’s analyzing me, trying to memorize my every move; his eyes are devoid of emotion, but his lips are still quirked up into a half-smirk.
Then it occurs to me that maybe he’s waiting for me. He’s already dressed, and there’s no other reason for him to be hanging around in our cabin when he’s already late for breakfast. With that thought in mind, I crouch and pull my own suitcase out from underneath my bed and begin pouring through its contents, searching for an appropriate outfit for the occasion. What does one wear to an initiation-of-sorts in an enemy camp the day after being kidnapped?
“You don’t look crazy,” Dori continues, speaking to my back. “Though I’m not sure how a crazy person could be of any help to the Digits, anyway. And I don’t think you’re physically injured. At least, you got up pretty easily after falling on the floor, and I can’t see any impairments on your body…”
I can practically feel his smug grin burning into the back of my head, and I try to focus more on his words than the tone in which he says them.
“And you’re too young to be a hermit. You’re, what, thirteen? Fourteen?”
“I’m sixteen!” I bark, turning for a moment to shoot him a quick glare before returning my attention to my haphazard pile of unfortunately mismatched clothes.
Dori lets out a snort that I assume is meant to be a chuckle and says, “Same difference. I’m twenty, so you’re still just a kid to me.”
I swear, I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to put up with having this guy as my roommate before I try to jump the fence. Maybe Tesla was right about me wanting to run away, but she was completely wrong about my reasons.
“Anyway, there aren’t a whole lot of things a kid like you can do to be sent here. Unless you’re a troublemaker? But I seriously doubt it. So you’ve got to be an orphan, then. You don’t have any family that’ll come looking for you now that you’re missing.”
The word missing sticks to the inside of my ear and echoes like a bad aftertaste. I want to argue with him, tell him that I do have a family – I still have Fray, and I think of Roma, Andon, and Crissy as a sort of adoptive family – but I know that he’s right. There is nobody left that has the will or the authority to fight the Council to get me back. I guess I really am an orphan.
I pluck a burgundy sweater and a pair of loose-fitting trousers from my suitcase and throw them gently over the edge of my bed. Usually, I’m not self-conscious of my body, but right now I am very much aware of how small my chest is compared to my hips.
My shoulder aches, and I press a hand over it before I realize what I’m doing; my fingers meet the mottled scar that serves as my physical memory of my parents’ deaths, and the pain fades into heat the longer I touch it.
“What about you, then?” I ask him. “Why are you here? You’re an adult. You must have people who will notice you’re gone.”
I can hear Dori’s mattress creak again as he stands and stretches.
“Nobody is going to come looking for me.”
There’s an unfamiliar hint of sadness in his voice, so I turn my head to face him, but he’s still smiling and his eyes are as blank as ever. His tone, however, makes it very clear that our conversation is over – at least for now. There’s no way I’m letting him get away with not giving me all of the information he has, especially if it pertains to me personally.
Unsure of what to say, I stand up and kick my suitcase back underneath my bed. I am about to ask him – tell him – to turn around so I can get dressed when he clicks his tongue and takes a step towards the door.
“I’ll be waiting outside,” he says without looking back.
The door squeals on its hinges as it closes, and I change my clothes so quickly that I don’t notice that my shirt is on backwards until Dori points it out several minutes later, as we make our way to the Main Lab and, hopefully, some of the answers I need.
Chapter fourteen
I learn a few things about my new place of residence as I walk across the grounds towards the large building in their center. One, there are nearly twice as many cabins than I had previously thought, and all but a handful of them are occupied; I can see movement from behind some of their windows, and a cluster of people streaming into the yard to join Dori and I on our trip to the Main Lab. Two, the guards that were on the train with me when I arrived here didn’t leave – instead, I recognize several of them patrolling around the gates and standing outside of a few of the cabins closest to the central building.
And third, Dori was right – though I would never admit that to him directly. Now that I know what it is that connects all of the humans in this compound together, I find myself noticing the similarities that I had ignored before. Everyone here is either a child – probably an orphan, like me – or possessing a handicap of some kind. On my walk, I pass by two young adults in wheelchairs, neither of whom is the boy I interacted with on the train.
There are also a few people being escorted to the Main Lab by Digits, some with their hands bound behind their backs and others with guns pressed against their shoulders. These people look like the ‘troublemakers’ Dori mentioned. I wonder what use the Digits have for people they can’t even trust to walk alone.
We enter the central building and Dori leads me to a large hall to the right that ends up being a sort of cafeteria. It’s a long, rectangular room with tables and chairs set up in rows across it. There are about a dozen people sitting in them with trays of food in front of them, but none of them look too thrilled about eating it.
Nobody is talking, either. The whole hall is so quiet it’s eerie, and I am tempted to scream if only to break the silence.
Dori beats me to it, though.
“Holden!” he shouts across the room, and before I realize it he has left my side and is running down the aisles of tables towards a boy who looks very familiar.
I quickly grab a tray of food – that is served by a Digit and looks like it was cooked by one, too – and make my way over to the table where Dori is now sitting. He’s got one arm around the sandy-haired boy’s shoulders and is stealing bits of what looks like potatoes – and, I find out later, neither smells nor tastes anything like potatoes – from the boy’s tray. The closer I get, the more familiar he looks, but it isn’t until I reach the table and see the metallic rods of his wheelchair poking out from underneath it that I am certain of where I’ve seen him before.
“Hey!” he says when he sees me, holding up one hand and waving me over. “You’re the girl from the train! Remember me?”
“Wait a second, you know each other?”
Dori’s eyes flicker from me to the boy in the wheelchair and back again. His free hand reaches for another piece of food from the tray, but the boy swats it away and rolls his eyes. But he doesn’t look upset – if anything, he looks content. Happy, even. Doesn’t he know where he is? Why he’s here?
“We haven’t been properly introduced yet. We met on the train ride here yesterday,” the boy tells Dori. I set my tray of food on the table and sit down across from them. “And clearly you two have already met.”
“She’s my roommate,” Dori says, puffing out his chest like he’s proud that he finally has something important to say. He clears his throat and gestures his free hand in my direction. “Holden, this is Eve – ”
“Everly,” I interrupt him, but he continues, speaking over me.
“ – my roommate. And Eve – ”
“ – Everly – ”
“ – this is Holden, my boyfriend.”
It takes a moment for the meaning of his words to hit me. My mouth opens and closes several times and I eventually go slack-jawed trying to think of something to say. I am aware that I’m staring, but they don’t seem to mind. Actually, Dori looks more amused than ever. I wonder how much anticipation he’s been building up, jus
t waiting to tell me this.
Holden looks a little more reserved, but he doesn’t seem bothered by Dori’s announcement. I notice how close the two are sitting – as closely as they can, with Holden’s wheelchair in the way – and how Dori’s arm has not moved from around Holden’s shoulders since he sat down. And what Dori said to me earlier this morning, about already being ‘taken’… Really, I should have noticed it sooner. It seems obvious now.
It doesn’t really bother me that they’re both boys. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I think that it should. But they look so natural together, it’s impossible for me to feel anything but happy for them.
I think about my parents, and how wonderful they looked together. Like Dori and Holden, they were physical opposites, but their chemistry more than made up for their differences in appearance. And they were happy. And now they’re dead.
“It’s nice to meet you, Holden,” I say, trying to keep my expression neutral. Dori doesn’t seem to notice, but Holden looks at me like he knows what I was just thinking about. A shadow passes over his face for just a moment, but he hides it with a smile.
“You too. Sorry about the roommate situation, though. Living with Dori must be rough. I don’t envy you.”
“Hey!” Dori exclaims, clapping Holden on the shoulder. “You lived with me for a whole year. It can’t have been that bad. You didn’t even complain once!”
“Maybe not to you. But let me just say, your mother – ”
“Don’t bring my mother into this! You know you’re her favorite. That’s not fair.”
I stifle a laugh and silently watch the two bicker like an old married couple. It’s clear that they aren’t really fighting; for them, this is probably their way of showing affection.
At one point, Holden leans over and pecks a quick kiss on Dori’s cheek, and Dori turns beet-red and stops talking mid-sentence. I think they’ve forgotten that I’m even here.
I clear my throat, and they both turn and stare at me like I’ve just grown a third arm. We’re the only people here, besides the Digit guards stationed by the doors; everyone else has eaten, returned their trays, and left.
“We’d better go,” Dori says, standing and grabbing Holden’s tray before he has the chance to. “We’re probably going to be late, anyway. Not that they can really do anything to punish us. They need us more than we need them.” His eyes flicker towards Holden’s bent legs almost involuntarily. “Well, most of us.”
He grins down at Holden, but the brunet looks less than pleased by his statement.
“What are we going to be late for, exactly?”
Dori empties the remains of the half-eaten food on Holden’s tray into a large garbage bin by the doors and sets the tray on top of a stack of them next to it. Following closely behind him, I do the same. Holden is waiting by the door, drumming his fingertips on the wheels of his chair.
“I’m not quite sure, to be honest,” Dori says, running one hand through his hair. “The Digit who brought me here told me that it’s some kind of test, so they can learn more about us – figure out what our skills are.” He walks ahead of us and holds the door open. “Hey, Holden, didn’t you have to take a test to come here?”
Holden nods slowly. “Yes, but it wasn’t really a test. It was more like a study. They simulated some of my worst fears to see how I would react to them. I suppose if I’d reacted unfavorably, they wouldn’t have allowed me to come.”
I listen closely, trying my best to memorize every word. The day of my interrogation bubbles up in my mind – the day Cyrus and Tesla used their machines to make me visualize the deaths of my family members. Is that what they were really doing? Testing me to see how I reacted to my own worst fears?
“What did they show you?” I ask before I can stop myself.
Holden’s eyes flit to Dori for a second before he closes them. “That’s… personal. I’m sorry.”
“No, no! I’m the one who needs to apologize. I shouldn’t have asked. I wouldn’t want to tell anybody what they made me see, either.”
“They did the same thing to you?” Holden asks, and I nod. “That’s interesting. But you didn’t choose to come here, right? Or did you?”
I shake my head as the door to the cafeteria creaks shut behind me. “Of course not,” I say quickly. “I was forced to. Who would ever want to come to a place like this?”
“I did.”
The creaking of the wheels of Holden’s chair as he pushes on them echoes in the nearly empty hallway; everyone that I saw on the way here has already gone ahead without us.
Holden’s words also seem to echo, though he speaks them in barely louder than a whisper. I can’t comprehend what he’s saying at first – it makes absolutely no sense to me. I have spent so much time fixated on my own hatred for the Digits and their reasoning behind bringing me here that it hasn’t even crossed my mind that someone would choose to come of their own free will. That someone – especially someone like Holden – would ever ask for this, when I’ve spent the past day trying to think of any possible way to escape it...
“Why?” I ask him softly.
It takes him a minute to answer. He pauses at the door leading to what I assume is the Main Lab – a room towards the back of the entrance hall, around a set of stairs that I am thankful we do not have to ascend.
“Because,” he answers, looking down like he’s talking to himself, “they said they could fix me. Fix my legs.”
I chance a quick glance at Dori. His face is somber, and I realize that this is the first time since I met him that I have not seen him with a smile on his face.
“And what are you planning to give them in return?”
I almost don’t hear his response, it’s so low and rushed. But I do, and I almost wish I hadn’t.
“Anything they ask of me.”
I open my mouth to argue, even though I don’t know exactly what I am going to say – what can I say, in a situation like this? I barely know they people; I have no right to judge them. But then Dori holds up one hand in what is clearly a gesture for me to stop, and my mouth clamps shut almost automatically.
That’s right – I don’t know these people. For all I know, Holden could be absolutely correct; maybe the Digits really will help him to walk again if he helps them with whatever it is that they want. And even if they don’t, I can’t just crush Holden’s spirits like that. Everyone needs something in their life that keeps them going, keeps them living. Maybe this is what Holden’s dream is.
The look on Dori’s face tells me clearly that my conversation with Holden is over now. I nod my assent to him silently. He stares at me for a moment – not with anger, or even sadness, but something else that I can’t quite identify – before stepping forward and pulling the door open in front of us.
What is my dream? I wonder. To see my brother again? To find and punish the people who killed my parents? To find a way to get out of here alive?
Am I willing to do whatever the Digits ask of me to achieve them?
Chapter fifteen
The Main Lab reminds me a lot of the room Cyrus took me to the day I had my brain picked by Tesla, but much, much larger. And there are a lot more people here this time – maybe even more humans than Digits, though we’re still vastly outnumbered.
The room is divided into at least a dozen sections, each of which is surrounded by desks with computer monitors on top of them and keyboards jutting out of their fronts. The same device that was used to make me imagine the deaths of my family members is duplicated in each of the stations, with blue lights coming up from the floor inside of every occupied circle.
Each station has one person in its center and one Digit seated in front of a computer on the outside. There is also a line of people pressed against the wall nearest to the door, waiting, I assume, for their turns inside of the simulation. I wonder if any of them know what they are really waiting for. Their worst fears are about to come to life in front of their eyes, and some of them don’t look any more nervous th
an they did standing in line in the cafeteria for breakfast.
Dori leads me and Holden to the end of the line and leans back on the wall, his arms crossed at his chest. Holden settles his wheelchair in the space next to him, and I am last in line. Even though we are late in arriving, no one looks twice at us when we enter.
I glance around at the rest of the people in the room, taking in several familiar faces from yesterday. The small girl who was with me on the train yesterday is inside of one of the circles, with a glowing band around her head and tears streaked down both of her cheeks. She’s near enough to me that I would be able to hear any noise she made, but she is completely silent. I wish I could see what she’s seeing right now; I don’t know why, but I get the feeling that it would give me some kind of peace with my own nightmares.
A couple of other young people from the train are standing just ahead of me in line, but if they recognize me, they don’t show it. I also notice a few elderly people who look feeble enough to topple over at the mere thought of their greatest fears, and two adults with physical handicaps – one, a middle-aged woman in a wheelchair just like Holden’s, and the other, a balding man with only air where his left arm should be.
I feel so out of place here. I can feel sweat beading along my hairline and I clench my hands together tightly so no one else can see how badly they’re shaking. The memory of my last experience with the Digits’ simulations still haunts me – not only in my dreams, but when I’m awake, too. Can I really handle another dose of that?
I watch the faces of the people ahead of me in line as they are each assigned a section and take their place inside of their own circle. I take in each expression that crosses their faces and try to imagine what scene in their mind is causing it. Some of them look sad, others angry, but most of them just look frightened. There are even a few who are able to keep their composure, and even manage to look content. Those are the kind of people I expect would want to come to a place like this – not people like Holden.
6 Digit Passcode Page 10
