The silence then was complete. Hesa's trembling next to me... that was surely horror for the people it had lost from Laisira; when we'd left during the fetes, we'd thought we were the ones in danger, not the Jokka who'd already made it to the settlement. Darsi... who knew what Darsi was thinking.
I... I was not surprised. And while I could feel sympathy for their plight, I did not know these truedark Jokka. That left my mind unclouded of shock and despair, unlike the people sitting in the circle, and the only thing that mattered to me was that they were wrong. "You two. You are the leaders of this endeavor? Hesa said one of those leaders was a neuter."
"Ah," Ilushet said, fighting to come back to the conversation from its despair. "No. I am not that Jokkad. That was Thenet; Barit and I were its helpmeets but we were not the architects of this... revolution."
"And Thenet. Did they take Thenet?" I asked.
They glanced at one another and the second male spoke. "No. Thenet is on its way east with Kaduin and Seper and the avatars of the gods."
This was news to me, that there were such things. Avatars of the gods! And then I remembered a rumor of such an avatar, one that had lived in het Kabbanil, and frowned. Surely not. But how many avatars of the gods could there be? "You mean a priest?"
"No," the male said. "True avatars. The Brightness's voice, Bilil, and the Void's—"
So I was right, and stunned. "Not the Fire in the Void?" I said. "Our Fire in the Void?"
"Yes," he said, meeting my eyes. "You know him, of course. Roika's personal advisor, Keshul."
"You sent your leader away in the company of Roika's lover?" I said, disbelief making my voice rise.
"Keshul was not his lover willingly," the male said. "I know. I know Keshul. I knew him from when we both lived in het Narel. He is on our side, Claw of the empire. But he's taking Thenet to the east to meet Roika at the sea, to go with him on the ship he's been building. Because what evidence we've uncovered indicates that if there are answers for our problems, they lie somewhere north of us. Where the Jokka were born."
I stared at him, then forced myself to dismiss most of that as irrelevant to our immediate survival. "So Thenet is as good as lost. But Roika is leaving too, is that it?"
"Yes," Barit said, coming into the conversation with a curious frown.
"Then it's not over," I said. "We've had a set-back, but we can rebuild. If anything we have been given a priceless opportunity: with the emperor gone, we have a better chance of evading his Claws, depending on which minister's in charge. When I left there was unrest throughout the empire, and without Roika there the ministry might decide they need the Claws in the hets to enforce the law and maintain the peace until he returns."
"Are you serious?" Darsi asked, ears slicked to his mane. "Pathen, have you not been listening? We're as good as dead! Ten Claws or ten hundred, it hardly matters when there are so few of us! Unless we hide somewhere, and where do you propose we hide from the empire?"
"It's a good question," Ilushet said quietly. "This place of safety... we can't afford to trust it. They took most of us as prisoners. They preferred it to killing. Anyone may crumble beneath torture."
Hesa's quiver was so minute I would have missed it had I not been sitting alongside the eperu. I thought of the lovers on the public dais. "Do you have any other hiding places planned?"
Barit traded glances with Ilushet before saying, "We have scouted a few that only four of us know. But they are harder to reach than this one and not meant for long occupancy. Surviving in them... they're in the high mountains, ke emodo. There is little to eat there and few sources of water."
"Then where can we go for a more permanent solution?" Hesa asked.
"We could flee," Darsi said. "Go so far from the empire they won't bother following us."
"And how far would that be?" the second emodo said, ears flipping back. "They're stronger than we are. They're larger. They have more money. They have resources we don't. Is there any place on the continent they won't eventually spread to? And then we will have this fight all over again."
"Then we can cross the sea," Darsi said stubbornly.
"In what ship?" Hesa murmured.
"The one ship in all Ke Bakil we know can make that voyage is at the end of the eastern road," Ilushet added.
"And the emperor is on it," Barit said with a grimace.
"We can hide in the mountains, then," Darsi said.
"And die of starvation or exposure?" I said. They all looked at me. "It's a good question," I said. "Where to hide. And there's only one answer that will work, the only answer that always works: in the one place they won't look."
Hesa's ears flipped back immediately.
"We'll have to go back," I said to it, since it alone had understood me without explanation.
"Are you mad?" Darsi exclaimed. "Go back to het Kabbanil? So they can drag us away and kill us in the square outside Transactions?"
"No," I said, thinking. "Not het Kabbanil. It's too soon, we might be recognized. Het Narel. It's in the middle of the empire. It's the second largest of its cities. We'd have a chance there, not just to survive but to accomplish all our aims."
"Large enough to get lost in and central enough to work from," Hesa murmured.
"I know het Narel," the second male said, excited. "I know people in it, people who would have common cause with us. I could help."
Darsi held up his hands. "I can't believe I'm listening to this."
"Why?" the second male asked. "Because it might work?"
"Because it can't!" Darsi said. "How on the World are we going to jog into het Narel without raising suspicion? The empire has a census! The ministers know how many people are supposed to be in het Narel. They know by now that House Laisira is gone! If a House's worth of Jokka show up a few days' ride south, the couriers are going to race the wind carrying the news to the Stone Moon seat. We won't be half a week settled into our fine new property before the Claws show up to wrest us out of it again!"
"That is a valid point," Ilushet said to me. "How do you mean to explain your arrival? You were a Claw of the empire, you say. Do Jokka simply found Houses in these days anymore?"
"No," I said, quiet. "But a Jokkad might be rewarded for meritorious acts with a House, if he requested it. And if the act were important enough."
I didn't enjoy bearing the brunt of their looks, and the silence was caustic enough to raise the hair on the back of my neck.
"You're going to march back to het Kabbanil and take responsibility for the razing of Thenet's kingdom," Darsi said.
"No," I said. "I'm going to march back to het Kabbanil and convince ke Suker to let me take responsibility for the razing of Thenet's kingdom."
"This... this is madness," Darsi said, standing, every moment jerky. "Beyond it." He pointed at me. "Only a Claw of the empire would see fit to propose such a scheme. It disrespects the dead. It endangers the living. And it aggrandizes its author!"
"Do you have a better suggestion?" I asked.
"Maybe we should kill you before you betray us," Darsi said. "What's to keep you from going back to this Suker and giving us away in return for amnesty?"
"The fact that the moment I leave, you will all make for one of these other hiding places," I said. "So that if I don't return, you won't have lost anything. You can try eking out a living in the mountains until this Thenet returns, and maybe it will have a better plan."
Darsi looked at the others.
Hesa said to him, "He saved us before."
"No," Darsi said. "You saved us before, Hesa. By keeping Laisira solvent while arranging for our escape and distracting this male—this very male—from turning us in to the minister of justice. Don't let his pretty face lure you into believing his easy words."
Hesa flattened its ears but its tone remained even. "And you, Darsi. Don't let your fears blind you to hope when it comes."
"This... this isn't hope," Darsi said. "This is folly." He glanced at me, then turned his back on the others and vani
shed into the darkness of the cave.
"Forgive him," Hesa murmured, though it sounded tired. "He has been gravely stressed by the events leading to our escape. And this news... it's enough to disorder anyone's mind."
"It must be," I said wryly. "I can't imagine any other way Darsi would call me pretty."
Hesa snorted and set a hand on my knee.
Ilushet looked at me. "You would do this then, Claw of the empire? Go to our enemies and attempt to buy us hope?"
"I'll try," I said. "But even if I fail, I'll have given you some time to find a better place to wait out the ship's return."
Ilushet pushed itself to its feet. "Then I will ready everyone for the move."
"And I go as well," Barit said. "Abadil?"
The second emodo stood but not before saying to me, "It can work. I think it's our best chance."
"I know," I said. "And if it does, I would welcome your help."
"You'll have it," the emodo said, tapping his hand to his brow before following the other two truedark Jokka away. He alone of the others still walked with determination and squared shoulders. The others... the events of the past few days had sapped them of their will. I could hardly blame them, but I was concerned for those they led.
"Darsi's right," Hesa said softly, interrupting my thoughts. "This plan is madness." As I took its hand it sighed. "Which is why it has any chance of working. And if it does, and you manage to find us a way we could work in plain sight...."
"I have to try," I said.
"What I don't understand is... why?" Hesa asked. "Why do you have to try? This wasn't your fight until you discovered us on the first night of the fetes, and that by accident."
"However I stumbled into it, it's my fight now," I said. "And the attack has left everyone here too demoralized to act. Their leader's gone, Hesa, and the people left behind don't know what to do. My plan might be mad, but at least it's a plan."
"And if you don't come back?" it whispered.
"I'm more worried that you'll be found," I said.
It pulled me closer and we rested our heads together.
"Don't get put on the dais," it whispered.
"Don't get enslaved," I answered, as soft.
It smiled. "A fair deal, Stone Moon."
"Then see that you keep it, Laisira."
In truth, I was far less sanguine about my chances of success than I put forth. But what was left? Hiding in the mountains... it might work for a few months. But eventually the empire would chase down the stragglers or push them so far into the heights that they'd starve to death or die when winter came. If they tried hiding elsewhere, the Claws would flush them out, or harry them into irrelevance. It's hard to stage a revolution when you can't gather enough people in one place to make plans without being scattered.
But the empire wouldn't look for us in its own heart. Arrogance was a privilege it arrogated to itself. The sheer bravado it would take to plot the downfall of the Stone Moon from beneath the cover of a legitimacy it itself had granted... that was the sort of thing that saw one elevated into the ministry and ushered into the ranks of Roika's most prized advisors. It was said he admired daring plans and staunch defiance. I had thought those stories false until Abadil had said the Fire in the Void had not wanted to be the emperor's lover; that married too well with other rumors I'd heard about the sort of company the emperor preferred. Complicated relationships for a complicated man: I wondered if complexity was the inevitable result of being the sort of Jokkad who could rule the world.
The following morning I left the bedraggled remains of the truedark kingdom to lick its wounds and pack its bags. I saddled one of Laisira's borrowed rikka under a gray sky not yet warmed by the sun and pulled myself up onto its back. Ilushet was waiting to see me off with Hesa waiting in silence behind it. The truedark eperu looked up at me and said, "There is a set of ruins in the eastward quarter of het Kabbanil, the furthest east. It has a frieze with children and midena on it, half-buried at its northern edge. If you succeed, leave a token there."
"A frieze," I said. "I'll remember."
"Good luck to you then, Claw of the empire," it said, and left.
Hesa stepped to the rikka and began buckling on several soft leather bags to the saddle's rings. "Food and water," it said. "And a few other things. It should last you a week if you're spendthrift, considerably longer if you're cautious."
"Thank you," I said as it finished. And then quieter, "Take care of them while I'm gone."
"It's what I do best," it answered, its fingers lightly resting on the saddle ring near the horn. "Pathen—"
"Give me a few weeks," I said. "Then look for my token. And come with me to het Narel."
It smiled. "Of course." And then the smile faltered. "Pathen, if you fail..."
I gently unhooked its hand from the ring. "I won't fail."
It sighed and tightened its fingers around mine—callused fingers, used to work. We had been tempered all our lives, had borne the empire long enough to escape it. I had to believe we would survive.
"Het Narel," Hesa said. "We'll build anew."
I smiled and pressed its fingers to my lips. And then let go and turned the rikka down the mountain before we could make the inevitable any harder.
When I looked over my shoulder some time later, I could still see its hair: bright carmine against a gray sky, a gray world, before the rising of the sun.
I didn't ride directly to het Kabbanil. I could have; certainly I should have. If the truedark Jokka were right we didn't have time to waste. But from their hole I rode west, not south. Part of that was a paranoia so deeply trained into me it had become reflex: I knew the group was planning on moving, but I didn't know how soon, how fast, or how well they'd obscure their trail. I didn't want to risk leaving one of my own, straight back to their location.
But that explained my circuitous route, not my destination.
A little over two days later, I stood on a hill and looked down into ruin.
The Claws truly had burnt the rebel community to the ground. Had planned to; I saw places where they'd dug channels to keep the fire contained, which meant some number of them had been detailed to prevent the fire from spreading to the rest of the plains with its summer-dry grasses. Someone must have stayed to supervise the razing of the buildings also, for it to be this complete.
I rode down into it, close enough to smell the oil they'd used to keep the fires burning. It was a professional job, I thought. Someone had had this plan prepared for quite a while. I'd known Suker and his peers were hunting the rebels, but not that they'd had plans this well-realized for what to do once they'd been found.
I slid off the rikka and left it tied at the edge of what remained of the town, then went walking through it. This... this was the empire. The destruction hadn't been personal. I doubted any of the Jokka the Claws had fought had been tortured once they'd been captured. The anadi would be remanded to the residences for breeding, the eperu and emodo put to work maintaining the roads and aqueducts. They would all serve the Jokka's fight against extinction until they lived out their natural spans. What had happened here had been another day's work for the Claws, nothing more. Most of them had been as invested in the Stone Moon as I had—which is to say, only enough to care to keep it from hunting us—and that... that was what I was about to gamble my life on, and the lives of those hiding in the mountains now. That Suker was just as uninterested in the empire's success as I was. That he'd be willing to guard my back again. That the sarcasm we'd traded in moments of stress and fatigue had been clues, clues that hinted at shared sentiments.
I crouched down and dragged my fingers through the detritus. The soot clung to my fingers, and the scent of the oil too. I rubbed them together: gritty. Smelled them. Closed my eyes for a long time. Thinking... what? I couldn't tell. My mind filled with the stench of ash and burnt bone.
I'd had to come here and I didn't know why. But I had, and now I could leave.
I pulled myself back into the saddle
and left the ruin of someone else's dream behind.
I rode out of the wilderness and onto the road near a wayhouse, and rather than wait for someone to stop me I dismounted and led my mount into its yard. We looked like what we were: two very tired, grimy, hard-used creatures... which was why the keeper's response to me when his shadow darkened the door was, "Gods, what happened to you!"
"Dissidents," I said. "I was detailed to chasing the stragglers from the operation recently completed on the plains." I wiped my brow, making sure my knife was in full view at my waist. "They gave a good fight."
"Not good enough," the emodo said, staring at me with wide eyes. "You look done in, ke emodo. Come in, please. I'll get you a bath and something to eat."
"I don't suppose you could also get me a uniform tunic," I said wryly. "I'd rather not present myself to ke Suker half-nude."
"Your pants have seen better days too," the keeper agreed, glancing at them, which made me feel how many days I'd been living in them. "Shall I send for a full replacement?"
"Do that and trim my mane and I'll feel like a new Jokkad," I said, laughing.
The keeper grinned too. "Come in, ke emodo. Our courier's due through in an hour. I'll have the request ready by then. Will you want to send a message ahead?"
To warn him, or to surprise him? Surprises never went well. "I'd be grateful."
That evening I sat in the wayhouse's small common room, fed, bathed and wearing some of the keeper's spare clothes. I stared out the window at the road, watching the sun flood the horizon with light clear as water, clear and crimson red. Were the others safe? I thought of Hesa, eating nothing—probably saving it for the breeders, who couldn't bear the hardships the eperu could—sitting in a dark, uncomfortable cave somewhere. Or perhaps hiking, long past the hour they could be resting and wouldn't be if Ilushet was smart.
I spent only three days in the wayhouse but I begrudged them in a way I hadn't my detour to the burn site. But the uniform arrived and the keeper fitted it to me; his hands lingered on my sides as he took the measurements but I ignored the invitation. I had lost my taste for casual relationships on joining the Claws and nothing since had changed my mind. I found the worship other Jokka directed at the authorities of the empire repugnant and the perfunctory transactions arranged between Claws unworthy of the effort.
A Bloom in the North Page 4
